Everyone Is A Little Insecure
(All pictures belong to the rightful owner found these on Pinterest)
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Summary: wanting to try and make herself feel better she started to go to the gym. She told herself she wasnt going to like anymore more guys until she saw him.
Warnings: angst but ends somewhat happy. Bullying. Body insecurities. Panic attack.
Playlist: songs I was listening to- let it burn by citizen soldier & Always live you by SayWeCanFly
Author notes: this was just something ive been dealing with a lot so i wanted to make a cute fanic where Changbin helps make reader feel happy about themselves.
She didn't think she was that bad looking. She knows she is not the prettiest woman out there. So why won't anyone love her? She got a little bit of chubbyness. Her cheeks are full and face round. Got hips and thick thighs. She tries so hard. Guys rarely talk to her, but when they do they don't talk long. The very few times she got them to talk to her for a while they ended up standing her up. Leaving her alone in her cute outfit and messed up makeup she cried off. What was she doing wrong? She hides behind a fake smile so no one knows her true feelings.
Being left alone in her thoughts. Music playing in her ears. Staring into the darkness. She tried so hard not to go to her depressed stage but it's hard. She just wanted one date. Y/n decided to go to the gym to start making her feel better. Maybe she just needed love for herself. She didn't hate the gym, lifting weights was her favorite. It's time to make herself happy.
She started with just the treadmill. Walking at first. Listening to her music. She was focusing on herself at first. Her head held high. She didn't want to get her hopes up when she saw a cute guy there, so she just didn't pay attention to anyone. It was easy at first. No one ever caught her eye. She didn't need a man.
Just like every day she went to the gym. Today she had a lot of plans in the afternoon so she had to go that morning. Y/n got used to the same people, so seeing new faces was weird. Going to the treadmill she wanted to do a light warm up before she goes to work on legs. Putting her music on, she did light jogging. Not a lot of people were there. She liked it. She might have to start coming around this time from now on. Looking around the room. Her eyes caught on to someone. She tried to look away but her eyes kept drifting to him.
He was bulky for sure. Loud as well she can hear him laughing across the gym. It didn't help that hardly anyone was there. His smile was cute. He does this scrunch with his nose when he's happy. Sometimes he wore sweats and a hoodie, other days he wore a tank top with shorts. Those were y/n favorite days. She started to try and be near him. She wanted to hear his laugh and see his smile.
Fat turned into muscle. She didn't look like she lost weight. Shane ran through her. She wanted to start to lose weight. She wanted that guy at the gym to like her. Cutting back eating. She stopped having breakfast and drank more water. No snacks, just small portions for lunch and dinner. Working out more. Everyone wants a model for a girlfriend right?
The gym seemed more dead. Y/n and a couple others there. Her guy wasn't. Her heart ached a little. He was her motivation. She wanted him to notice her. Putting her music in she went to do her normal routine.
He hasn't been there for over a week. She thought he quit. Why else would he be gone. That made her slowly stop staying as long. She didn't even show up one day.
Looking at herself in the mirror she rolled her eyes. “Pathetic.” Did she really let a guy stop her from going to the gym? She didn't even know his name. Hyping herself up again. So she went back the next day. Checking in she went to the locker room. Stepping out she went to the treadmill like she did everyday for her warm up.
The messy black curls she loved. He was there. Her heart started to beat faster. A smile grew on her face. Who knew some stranger could make someone so happy. She worked harder that day. Maybe he'll notice her. She was doing some easy weight exercises. Facing the mirror she watched her movements. A laugh she learned to love so much rang out through the gym. Looking through the mirror he was there with his friend he's always with and a girl. She has never seen her before.
She slowly placed the weights down she was holding. Why did she think she could get someone like that to notice someone like her. She decided she was done for the day. Not wanting her heart to break anymore then it already has. Grabbing her water bottle and rag she went into the locker room to take a shower and head home.
Stepping out of the shower she wrapped a towel around her body and one on her hair. Digging through her bag of clothes she heard footsteps near her. “Hi. Um, you're really cute, what's your name? I heard you come here all the time” turning her head she saw the girl that was with that one guy. Her voice was a little high pitched. “My name? Im y/n” she wasn't expecting her to come talk to her. No one ever just talks to her. “Nice to meet you y/n I just wanted to let you know my friend thinks you're super cute.” Before y/n could respond the girl walked away. It couldn't be the one she's been watching at the gym. Maybe it's the other guy. Yeah it had to be. It just couldn't be him.
Walking out of the changing room y/n made her way to the exit. Reaching for the door a hand reached out and pushed it open for her. Looking up, her eyes met his. He gestures for her to walk out. She moved her head down and walked out fast. “Wait” he called out. Y/n just kept going for her car.
Closing the door she grabbed the steering wheel. Her breath was heavy. Did she just fuck up? Did he talk to her? What is happening? A knock on her car's window made her jump. She slowly turns her head to see him just smiling at her. She can't escape him. Rolling down the window so she could talk to him. “Hi. Y/n right” she nodded her head. “Im Changbin ive noticed you come work out alot” he noticed her?. “Yeah” her voice was quiet. She didn't know how to speak to someone she likes. “We should work out together and I'll be your spotter” This man. The one she has been crushing on since she saw the man. He wants to work out with her. Why? “Um I…” her words paused. “You always come alone, why not?” he shrugged. He wasn't going to let her go until she said yes was he? “Sure ill join you” she cant ever come back to this gym.
She was back the next day. She told herself to quit. Why was she here then? She lightly hit her head on the steering wheel. “Ughhhh” she lifted her head. Grabbing her stuff she headed in. Why was she upset? The guy she likes wants to work out with her.
Walking in she saw him already there working out. Taking a deep breath she made her way over to him. His eyes lit up when he saw her. “You made it” he smiled, placing the weights he was holding down. She did and she shocked herself. She almost stayed home and never came back. But everything in her body was telling her to go. So she was standing in front of this man.
“Alright lets start” he clapped his hands together. They started with some stretches first. He coached her through it. “Come on a little farther,” he smiled. She tries to go farther , almost touching her toes. She looked up and saw his eyes looking at her. They were pretty and full of encouragement. His smile was wide. He saw something in her that she didn't see. “Alright now that we stretched lets do arms today” she nodded. Standing up they make their way to the bench. Changbin grabbed a couple small weights, putting them on each side of her bench. “Will start light just so I can see how much you can handle” he went to grab his now. She never worked out with someone. This was new and weird, but she was loving it. She got to be near him. Talk with him finally.
He helped her with her form. Every new exercise they did he was right behind her fixing her form. Her face was so red by the end of the workout. “You did great,” Changbin smiled at her. Her heart sped up. She felt overwhelmed. “Thank you” she bowed her head. “Same time tomorrow?” She looked up. “Um. Yeah” he nodded and walked to the locker room. She slowly brought her hand up to her cheek. It felt on fire. She hurried and grabbed her stuff. Walking out of the gym fast.
This went on for weeks. The two met up in the morning and worked out together. She started to get more comfortable around Changbin. She learned lots about him, and he learned lots about her. Changbin told her he's going to be put for a week. He still wanted her to work out.
Little did y/n know Changbin was a famous kpop idol. He told her he's a gym instructor. He really didn't want her to know he was famous. Fans saw the two at the gym taking pictures. Changbin found out. He tried to get the company to fix it. They couldn't do much. They ended up sending out a letter explaining the girl in the pictures was just a friend. It didn't help. He thought maybe start going to a private gym with her but that would be too suspicious.
Changbin had to take a week away from the gym. He needed to think of a way to make sure y/n stays safe. While he was on a break though he didn't realize people would approach her.
Y/n was listening to her music as she walked on the treadmill. It felt lonely without Changbin there. Y/n decided just a simple cardio day will have to do. Her 30 minutes finished. Stopping the machine she got off. Grabbing her stuff she made her way to the locker room. Grabbing a towel she went for the showers.
Wrapping a towel around her body. She stepped out so she could dry her hair. Two young girls that don't look much older than 18 stood right in front of her. “Can I help you?” Y/n asked. One girl had her phone out recording. “We always see you with Changbin. What's your deal” that threw y/n off guard. “Um. He helps me exercise.” The confusion rested on her face. “I got somewhere to be could you guys move” y/n tried to walk forward. The girl that wasn't holding the phone pushed y/n back. Y/n tumbled back a little. Grabbing onto the wall of the shower. “Like what a date with Changbin” the girl's words spat with venom. “No! I don't even know what he's doing right. Like I said he just helps me. What's your problem? If he's your boyfriend I'm sorry.” she started to get scared. Her body shaked. Fear all over her face. She tried to hide her body away with the towel she had.
The two girls laughed. “You don't know who you have been working out with. Plus he's single but why would he date someone like you…you're ugly.” That hit a spot. Y/n started to have a small panic attack. She wanted to get away. These girls were crushing the confidence she finally had. Y/n was feeling good. Loving the way she was. Changbin helped with that greatly. Now it's all getting taken away from her. She slid down the wall breathing heavily. Everything felt small, making things harder to breathe. The two girls finally walked away when someone else came into the showers.
Y/n hurried and got dressed. Grabbing her bag she hurried out of the gym. She felt humiliated. All she wanted was her bed. The girl's words ran through her head. Y/n felt trapped again.
A few days went by. Changbin came back to the gym. He waited for y/n to show up. She didn't. He tried texting her but nothing. He thought maybe she was just taking a day off. The next day was the same and the day after that. A whole week went by. Something just didn't feel right. She wouldn't even text him.
Sitting in the record studio he scrolled through his phone. He noticed he was being tagged more than normal. Looking through it. The same video over and over again. It was of y/n he was confused. Clicking on one he watched. His eyes lit up in horror. Chan next to him noticed the mood change. “Hey, what's up?” Changbin looked over to Chan. He turned his phone so Chan could see the video. “Isnt that the girl you've been working out with” Changbin nodded. Chan took his phone to take a closer look. “What the fuck” Chan mumbles out. “This is fucked up.” Chan handed Chabin his phone back. “I was wondering why she hasn't been to the gym.” He wanted to do something but didn't know what.
Going into the management office. Changbin was upset. “If you want to keep my Idol image you have to fix this before I do” he threw his phone on the desk. It had the video playing over and over again. The managers were shocked by his outburst. One took the phone to see the video. They noticed it's the girl Changbin has been seen with at the gym. “I don't know what we can do to fix this” he handed the phone back. “Find a way or I will.” They knew if he did something everything would go downhill. And Chan would come in pissed if something happens to Changbin. And dealing with an upset Chan is not ideal.
The most management could come up with is take legal action as well as sending a notice out. It was a very well typed out letter. They got the police to figure out who recorded and posted that video. This calmed Changbin down greatly. He knew y/n didnt understand why those girls did that to her. He's been trying to find a way to get her to talk to him. He didn't know where she lived. She wouldn't answer her texts or calls. Y/n hasn't been going to the gym. He did remember her mentioning where she worked.
It was a simple cafe not too far from the gym he goes to. He pushed open the doors and looked around. Only a couple college kids inside. Walking up to the counter a girl with long black hair was ready to take his order. “Um, does a girl named y/n work here?” he asked the cashier. “yes she usually works weekdays though” it was Sunday currently. He thanked the girl and walked out. He'll have to come in tomorrow then.
Seeing the familiar face Changbin hurried to the front counter. “Where have you been?” y/n was shocked to see Changbin in front of her. “I just haven't been feeling well” he knew she was lying. “Y/n im not stupid I know that's not the truth” the bell from the door rang. Changbin turned around to see a customer. Sighing out he went to leave. “I'll cover and go talk to him” he heard a voice. Turning around, one of y/n coworkers was there. Y/n took her apron off. She guided Changbin to a far corner table. “This is my fault. Don't blame yourself over what those girls did” Y/n eyes widen. “How do you know about that?” Changbin was now confused. He thought she knew the video was posted online. “Did you not know that?” She looked mortified now. He felt bad for saying anything. Now he really has to explain everything.
“I'm not a gym trainer. I'm actually a kpop idol. You didn't seem to recognize me so I was happy that I could talk to someone that doesn't just see me as an idol. I should have known that fans would see me with you and get upset. So in the end this is my fault. Those girls were fans and got upset.” Y/n listened closely. Shocked by his words. She was going to say something but Changbin beat her to it. “I can't make the video go away but I did have my managers fix it as much as possible. The two girls are getting sued for violating idol privacy as well as anyone that continues to repost that video online. It's not much but it's something” y/n chest tightened. He tried to help her. She didn't know what to say or do. Her eyes filled with tears.
Changbin leaned over, wiping away the tears that fell. He didn't know what more to say. He wanted to comfort her. This was the girl he had seen at the gym. The girl.that always looked over at him working out and blushed. She was cute and he wanted her near all the time. He didn't understand the feeling he had towards her; he just knew she needed to be in his life somehow.
“Dont listen to those girls or anyone. You were doing amazing at the gym. You were happy and that's all that matters. I get upset when people are mean like that. It means they are insecure of themselves more than anything. It's pretty much saying their jealousy on how pretty you are. Fans always called me fat. So I ignored them and worked out and became the man I was. So it's okay to be insecure but don't stop doing something that makes you feel good.” He wasn't a very open person about things like this. He just wanted her to know she's pretty. He was expecting her to argue or something but instead she got up from her seat and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “So if you're ready I'll love to see you at the gym tomorrow” she pulled away from the hug. “Yeah, I'll be there,” she smiled.
She knew getting back to where she was wasn't going to happen right away. With time and Changbin being there to encourage her. She knew she wouldn't become a model but she knew she could get the body she wants. She's where she wants to be.
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