First of all I apologize for step in on your vent post
I understand you are venting and not expecting an answer, but I couldnt quit that sad feeling for your feelings since I read you earlier in the afternoon.
I feel sad you are so dissapointed on people from the Church right now but at the same time glad for how much love you have for Jesus in the Eucharisty (I think that was what motivated me to write you). I am DemiAce and also understand this kind of “I cant step closer to the holy as I am right now” state of mind even tho I know Im probably for Jesus more of a Publican from the pharisee and publican parable...
What you (and the whole Church) are living right now is what Satan himself has been planning to do to us for so long. You can read LaSalette, Fatima and Garabandal prophecies and see.
My native language is Spanish, so when I read in english some negative stuff about Pope Francis I feel I need to step on too. A lot of people is blaming him for a lot of stuff previous popes were in charge previously and didnt solved when it was in their hands. In spanish speaking media, we know Pope Francis wanted to solve the cases of pedophilia as soon as posible and he actually fired a lot of people but something weird happened in that time from within the Vatican and since then he seems restrained from what he really wanted to do and since then he has been asking our prayers for him (I feel like crying because he ask that to anyone he meets like a desperate HELP scream). We speculate a lot because Benedictucs had to step down (he barely did much anyways) and Francis was elected because “someone” thought he could be a second Joannes Paulus I (a puppet).
In spanish, the past 2 years we have been dealing with a lot of anti-pope heretic groups well organised moving around youtube or other media, passing by as catholics. In this time they have called him a mason, last year they began to call him a communist and the new fashion is groups claiming they are “mystics” receiving visions from Holy Mary telling he is the anti-pope. Please dont fall on that.
Thats why I mentioned LaSalette, Fatima and Garabandal in the third paragraph.
Secondly, I have noticed USA has been promoting a divisional in-war between catholics: the war of the Traditional Mass vs the Novus Ordo. An unnecesary war. A lot of trads are having a huge reject towards NO in a not so healthy way and as if they are the T saviours of something that was never rejected at all by the Church. Yes, T is better in reverency but fails on evangelizing. Novus Ordo is good for reaching people but fails on the reverency. I think evangelizing is a reverency to the Lord. Some trads, to my eyes, are looking nothing more than farisees fighting for rituals.
As I said, I speak spanish, Im latinamerican, so it means we are strongly catholics on our majority meanwhile in USA is the opposite, most of you are protestant and the catholics are a more reduced group. In countries like mine, Novus Ordo has been a real blessing for evangelization. The huge social-economic diferences between your country and countries like mine are huge and to solve some necesities the approaching must be according to it. I lived the transition from Trad to “liberation wave” (yes the commies tried to infiltrate a sectary wave inside the church back in the 80′s but it was erradicated ) and the Novus Ordo.
I highly recommend you this video https://youtu.be/zh0OTKip6uM
Funnily, here the Church kept a lot of Trad Mass in the Novus Ordo. Maybe thats why we dont have that inwar and the faith is still a big part of our daily lives. A lot of dioceses here are already giving the Eucharisty on the mouth and I noticed it is happeing as well in other countries as well, except countries of the “first world” like yours. So please, dont generalise and get dissapointed in Church. In the end, the Bishop is the one that gives the orders in your area, not the Pope. Go kick your bishop.
My parish is still giving it in the hand, so I made myself a small corporal so I dont touch the Host with my bare hands, even tho Im still avoiding to take it that way until I can receive it in the mouth. The good thing in Catholic church is that you can go to another parish if the pastor is bad in yours. In catholic church we dont follow people, we follow God and the teachings of Christ’s Bride. The salvation of your sould dont depend on them but the sacred teachings. Please, pray for them, that they are also being tempted in this horrible times for everyone.
Dont let the idiot satan have the last laugh on you. That is what what he wants from you, to leave, he has seen you are a good catholic a good christian, he wants you feel you are not or that you are wasting your time.
If you read Pope Leo XIII exorcism, you will see his prophecy on this time too,
“These most crafty enemies have filled and inebriated with gall and bitterness the Church, the spouse of the immaculate Lamb, and have laid impious hands on her most sacred possessions. In the Holy Place itself, where the See of Holy Peter and the Chair of Truth has been set up as the light of the world, they have raised the throne of their abominable impiety, with the iniquitous design that when the Pastor has been struck, the sheep may be.
Please, pray a lot. Even if tired and disappointed. Pray for the Pope, for the Church, for you. Im asking you not as a believer but as a witness.
I had that time of 20 years disappointed and stray and now Im back scared of what Im living but I promised not to let that imbecile takes me again (yeah Im talking about satan, that shit). Ah! I also recommend you to watch some Father Amorth videos. ah! Father Pio too! I love them being very much warriors against satan without any fear.
I think you have a lot of Love to give and fight for the right things, jsut dont get discouraged, God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit are with you, also Mama Mary too.
Go kick some demons asses inside church that are making you feel like that!
PD: I apologize for unsolicited long stuff and broken english
