garf

i’m working for the big guy at the green place 21

[unalivejournal]

Embarrassed myself a few days ago and since then I've been periodically going like this

Ignore the part where he gets naked that's not part of it.

[niceinchnails]

I think if zoidberg moved into bikini bottom he wouldnt look out of place at all i wouldnt even notice him there

[ribbondear]

[niceinchnails]

I like how polite he is because he isnt intruding but curious somewhat

[cherryhatter-deactivated2015072]

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

[visibun]

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[drtanner]

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

[uncertainlys]

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

[fagcrisis]

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

[maryoliveoil]

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

[tripthelightfatality]

[weaselknievel]

giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

[enbaluka-tokyo-drift]

[orteil42]

my friend's puppy has baffling levels of attitude for someone who's only been around for a handful of months. he understands concepts like deceit and civil disobedience and other things i didn't fully grasp until well into my 20s. this guy doesn't even know the seasons loop yet. he's probably like okay spring. what's next. some other new bullshit i bet

[otherwindow]

why is it always a male character going mad avenging his dead wife and never a female character cradling her dying pure of heart husband in her arms then dragging the whole world down with her

[swan2swan]

[charlesoberonn]

First of all, this is a very clever use of this gif. Secondly, fuck you.

[ffishstick]

we’re up all night to get yucky

[i-give-you-a-fish]

You get a Sixgill Hagfish

Eptatretus hexatrema

[dogpuppy]

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

[sicknastie]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

idk if I've told this story on here before but one time I was sitting at my desk at work and a random dog I'd never seen before strolled into my office and curled up at my feet. and I was like oh you are adorable but what the fuck?

then a woman knocked on the door and said "oh I'm so sorry he's a therapy dog he's trained to seek out people in severe distress"

and I was like right okay, just getting my whole life drive-by roasted by a dog then

[orbitingrook]

[cpericardium]

parried three bait posts in a row

[redstonedust]

crazy how quickly dust accumulates. i should be allowed to put my trinkets on a shelf and not touch them and they remain in perfect condition forever. dont even get me STARTED on the inside of a computer. why do i have to brush your teeth. youre technology.