I figured I'd put up a list of all the weird crap I've found around home as a kid
1. When I was six, a mummified hairless cat just sort of appeared by the house. I had to jump over it whenever I went anywhere. Nobody moved it, it was just there for a few months and then it disappeared.
2. There was a cow head just laying out back for a while. I think my gramma was feeding it to the chickens. I fucking hate the chickens.
3. Every Halloween, my mom would send me to the dead pile to get bones to scatter around the yard for decorations. I never really realized it was weird that we had things called ‘dead piles’, but there you go
4. My brain went fuzzy during a family barbecue and I don’t know what to tell you but I left for twenty minutes and came back with four other girls wearing cow pelvises and tubing as armour and claiming myself to be the ‘mighty lord magnet-tron’.
5. I found a kayak in the forest once. I brought it home, but my gramma stole it.
6. Found a cracked fish tank buried under a tree once. I took it home, but my gramma stole it.
7. There’s a lot of bathtubs in the forest and I don’t know why
8. Someone left a deer head on the porch once. Not sure why. Just the whole head, cut off at the neck. That was odd.
9. There’s just these… Weird, powdery chunks of.. I dunno, something. Just buried all over. I don’t know if they’re soft rocks or what
10. Some friends and I found something big and dead inside a garbage bag under a log, once. We told an adult but they said not to worry about it so we sort of let it go. It’s been nine years and nobody’s questioned it
11. Our rooster killed itself. Not sure how, but it did.
12. A bird carried my cat away when I was 7 and nobody told me so I spent 6 weeks looking for it. I only found half.
13. There’s a lot of skulls
14. There’s a spot out back where kitchen appliances just show up. I found a wok, a toaster, a toaster oven, and two sinks so far.
15. A bunch of porn was just… In the woods. DVDs. And a couple bible-on-casette albums. 3 pairs of prescription glasses. Someone was into some weird shit, I guess.
16. Sometimes the air smells like death and my mom just goes, ‘think it was something big?’ And I have to go find it
17. My gramma keeps collecting toilets and 4 foot tall solid wooden lawn gnomes and decorating the driveway with them
18. Every once and a while the sky just doesn’t go all the way dark at night and I’ve stopped questioning it
