Overhearing jude talking to his mom on ft abt you and how he loves you and how shes dying to meet youš„ŗ
youāre taking a nap so judeās momentarily leaving your side when he gets a call from his mum cause he doesnāt wanna disturb you :( but then youāre stirring awake because you can sense heās left and youāre walking into the living room to see him on face time with his mum, talking about you with the most love sick smileāgoing all āsheās asleep rn, she must be rlly tired. she works so hard and iām so proud of herā and it just makes your heart melt because heās so sweet when talking about you. his mum mentioning how itās been so long since sheās last met you and youāre coming to say hello, telling her that youāre gonna visit with jude real soon.
another day of me saying thisā¦ Barca winning la liga again and Liverpool winning the prem (move along if ur not a Liverpool or Barca fan I will whack u close ur eyes!!š¤Ø) WHO SAYS NO??? @lilpepi @trentione
What a woman. What a voice. What a power. An incandescent human who was on the right side of every fight, usually long before the rest of the world caught up. Complicated, misunderstood, fragile, powerful. What a loss.
Vale, Sinead OāConnor. I hope youāve found the peace you were searching for.
theme/s: none very gruesome, typical childhood best friends pining, unspoken feelings and all that
word count: 5.1k (got carried away lol)
notes: not proofread and not revised so pls expect grammatical/spelling errors! will be working on the pending reqs now hehe lmk what u guys think <3
about: charles was six when he promised to marry you when he got older and the time was right. as crazy children can go, you always thought he was delirious, but he reminds you of it almost every year.Ā
āYāknow what, when we get older, I am going to marry you for real!ā Charles, in broken French, says a little enthusiastically as he walks down the makeshift aisle you two had made for the two-hour playtime your parents allowed.
With a pillowcase hanging on your head as an improvised veil, you held in your hands hand-picked flowers from the Leclercās garden as your bouquet. Two of your other friends cheer, the joy of make-believe weddings children orchestrate on their own taking over.
āYouāre crazy, Charlie! We canāt marry each other, weāre only six years old,ā you giggle.
āI know,ā he says. āIāll do it when we get old! When weāre 18 or something.ā
You thought of Charles as demented every time he promised to marry you in the unforeseeable future. He first said it when the two of you were six years old, playing an infamous game of roleplay wedding. For a long time, in your little group of friends, the two of you always assumed the role of the groom and bride. Of course, you were just as young as he was, but you dismiss his thoughts by saying you were too young to get married - and heād always respond with the promise of doing it when you both got older.
Even when his parents and his older brother Lorenzo watch the two of you, he assumed Charles was just hopped up on the adrenaline of playing with his best friend, his favorite person in the whole world, you. He thought that when the two of you actually get older, Charles would eventually forget the silly vow he had made when he was awfully young.
But Charles never abandoned the thought. As he got older, he finds himself repeating the same promise he had told you in his familyās backyard, not for the sake of mere recollection, but because he deems you as his perfect pair, his soulmate.Ā
It was at age 10 when he had made the same promise to marry you. You sat a bench in front of your schoolās gates, waiting for the school bus, clutching your backpack as tears welled in your eyes. You and Charles had made a pact to always go home together and sit at the bus side by side, so heās not surprised to find you at your usual spot, but he was surprised to see you crying.
Charles rushes to you, taking off his backpack to set it on the bench.Ā
āHey, why are you crying?ā Worriedly, he says, a little panicked to see his best friend with tears running down her face.
āLouis t-th-threw away my let-t-ter,ā you say in between sobs.Ā
Louis was a grade above you, who was the dreamiest boy in school with his soft brown hair and brown eyes. Every girl at school had a crush on him, gigantic ones at that, so his locker is expected to be filled with love letters even on normal days. Frankly, Charles never got the hype over him but heād never tell you that, not when you were one of the lovestruck girls at school.
āWhat happened?āĀ
āI was too shy to tell him I like him,ā you tell Charles, who proceeds to rub your back calmly to ease you down. āSo I wrote a letter to tell him that and he crumpled it up into a ball and threw it in the garbage.āĀ
āHe did it in front of everyone!ā you add, breaking into cries once again. Charlesā brows furrow, wanting to punch the stupid boy who had made you cry, but his main goal was to make you stop crying first.
āIl est idiot ou abruti!ā Heās a jerk.
āY/N, please stop crying. Heās no good for you, youāre too great for him.ā he says, using both his hands to grip your shoulders as he adjusts you so you can face him.
āIām so embarrassed. What if this goes on for years? What if nobody likes me-ā you ramble on and Charles could only look at you sympathetically.
āHey, I like you! Youāre the best girl I know.ā Charles replies, smiling slightly.Ā
āAnd I will always like you, you know? It doesnāt matter if itās years from now, I promise to marry you when weāre older because I will always like you!āĀ
āYouāre just saying that because Iām sad,ā you shake your head, lightly laughing at his attempt to cheer you up.
āIām not lying! I really will marry you. Thatās how much I like you.āĀ
Itās amusing to hear. What do 10-year-olds know about marriage, anyway?
At first, Charles thought he was repeating his vow to marry you years from now just to fulfill what he told the best person in his life when he was young. He remembers the time he had made the promise again back when he was 10 and he recalls telling you you were the best girl he knew. He convinces himself that he said that partially to cheer you up and because heād do anything to make you smile, you were his best friend after all.
But itās three years from now and he had done it again. Maybe itās a reflex, something he thinks heās supposed to say because he had said it two times already. Maybe when he was six it was out of joy and the child-like innocence he had. When he was 10 maybe itās out of the fact that he wanted to dry your tears. Yet this time, he had no reason to justify it.
Deep down he knew it was because he grew to like you, more than a friend, more than he should. Internally he shakes his head, trying to dismiss the thought of breaking the unspoken rule of liking his best friend. He was 13, figuring things out, and the first thing he knew to be certain of was you were in fact, his dream girl.Ā
Your family and the Leclercs were together again for dinner, a tradition done at least once a month. A big table was set up at your house since it was your familyās turn to host dinner. Plates were neatly set up, the smell of roast chicken and the aroma of an array of dishes coming out of the kitchen. Itās the same night Charles realized just how beautiful youāve grown to be. Your hair was much longer and you were a little taller. You dressed differently, and the two years you had braces finally paid off. Charles feels butterflies in his stomach each time you smiled, but he chooses to ignore it.
āRemember when you said youād marry me like, three years ago?ā you spoke up, hoping to playfully embarrass Charles who was beside you in your bedroom, legs sprawled on your bed.
āYou can say it, were you just saying that to cheer me up?āĀ
āNo, can you stop accusing me of that? I really meant it!ā he says in defense, knowing he really did mean it, and he means it even more now.
āHmm, Iām sure you wonāt mean it anymore when you ask Elise to the dance and you guys have your first kiss,ā you tease, enunciating the word ākissā just to poke at Charles and the fact that the school dance was in 2 weeks.
āIām still going to mean it, Y/N.ā he shakes his head. āAnd werenāt we going to go together? I already bought your ticket.ā
āCome on, Charlie! You donāt have to appease me anymore, weāre growing older, you know?āĀ
āI know, and I keep my promises,ā he turns to look at you, shifting into a seated position.Ā
āReally?ā you mock, raising one brow at him with a smirk on your face. āYouād really marry me like, 10 years from now?ā
āI would,ā Charles responds, unknowingly providing you with a small amount of comfort you couldnāt figure out just yet.
Things were pretty routine for you and Charles. Every time he promised to marry you, your response was always to never take him seriously. You always think heās just trying to lift your spirits up or itās because heās fulfilling a promise he made when he was six years old. And if Charles was anything, he wasnāt someone who broke promises. He shows up and keeps his word, itās just who he was. You think that vow would eventually be null and void when he finds a girl he genuinely likes, and the same would go for you.
Charles never lets your response get to his head. After he realizes he had grown feelings for you, feelings that persisted until now that he was sixteen, he lets your chuckle and āyouāre crazyā responses slide away. He didnāt think heād make the promise again anyway, he knows better than to say it again now that he actually was going to mean every word.Ā
At sixteen, you and Charles attended your first party with friends without parental supervision. Even Lorenzo wasnāt there as a chaperone so it was an entirely new experience for the two of you. He had promised your parents prior that he was going to take care of you and makes sure you donāt go home wasted, and obviously, they trusted him with their entire chests.Ā
Charles made sure not to drink too much that night, not even with the heavy and ceaseless invites from his friends. He wanted to be of composure in the event you get more inebriated than him, which will take place about an hour from now. You both went your separate ways, agreeing to meet when it was time to go home. You had friends outside of Charles and he had friends that werenāt you as well. Before letting you go he makes you promise to not drink too much and you only respond with a nod and a wide smile.
But he was summoned by your friend so he comes running to the living room and he finds you flushed and drunk out of your mind.
āHi, Charlie!ā you slur, waving your hands aimlessly as you see Charlesā figure tower over you.Ā
āOh my god, how many have you had?ā Charles asks, desperately trying to lift you up and out of the couch you were nearly passed out on.
āCome on, Y/N, I told your parents I wouldnāt let you drink!ā
āSorry, Charlie.ā you say, all senses nonfunctional, slinging both your arms over Charles' shoulder as he carries you.
He figures he canāt take you home in your state, so he takes you out to the patio and sat you on the lawn chair. The booming music was heard outside, red cups littered on the grass, teenagers shouting every now and then. He had asked someone to fetch a clean towel drenched in water so he can wipe your face, hoping that and some water could lessen your inebriation.
āAww, youāre taking care of me,ā you coo, still clearly drunk. You had totally underestimated the toll alcohol would take on you.
āWhen we get married, are you going to take care of me when Iām drunk?āĀ
āWhat?ā Charles mutters in disbelief, but he quickly remembers you were drunk out of your mind so he tries his best not to give it any thought.
āYou promised youād marry me. Youāll keep your promise, right?ā you say, mispronouncing some of the words and holding back a hiccup.Ā
Charles doesnāt say anything and continues wiping your face with the damp towel in his hand and proceeds to tie your hair into a neat ponytail. He ignores that most of the time drunk words are a product of sober thoughts. He grabs the glass of water beside you and asks you to drink it. You shake your head in disapproval.
āNot drinking until you say youāll m-ma-marry m-me,āĀ
He can only sigh, not believing he was making the promise yet again, this time out of actual sincerity, not just because you asked and he wanted you to shut up and drink the damn water he had in his hand.
āI will marry you, okay? When we get together and the time is right, youāll walk down the aisle and you will see me.āĀ
āNow, please drink some water, Iām begging.ā
And oddly enough, Charles is convinced you would have no recollection of the words that came straight out his chest.
Charles was already nineteen and how he felt for you hadnāt changed, not one bit. Heās evaluated the emotions heās been avoiding hundreds of times - he asks himself if it was the nostalgia of having known you for more than a decade or if it was really because he had grown old enough to realize you were all he could ever want. But heās not the type to do something about it, heās far more afraid of losing you than having to keep the biggest secret he had withheld from you.Ā
You would be lying if you said the way you looked at Charles was still the same way you did when you were nine. You were scared to entertain the thought, itās a dangerous territory should you try to open the door and see what was inside. For some time you disregard the pounding in your chest when Charles sends you a smile or the electricity that runs through your fingertips every time he held your hand.
Both of you decide to keep it at bay, stashing whatever you felt in a box and stowing it away in a compartment in the back of your heads. You were still as comfortable as ever, knowing each other best like you were each otherās home address. For whatever reason you and Charles deem it best and most reasonable to stay as friends and not say anything, you both loved each other too much to risk, jump, and then fall. Unbeknownst to the two of you, you were both ready to catch whoever falls first.
Itās not like neither of you tried to expand your horizons. There were attempts to date other people and establish the same or at least a comparable connection with another person as the one you had with each other.Ā Numerous times you asked for Charlesā opinion on what to wear on a first date and several occasions were you with him as he bought flowers for whoever was waiting for him. The difference was that you were more desperate than Charles, trying your best and trying hard to get over the fact that you were possibly in love with your best friend. Maybe because you weren't at peace with it as much as him, so you figure that maybe when you actually meet someone you like, all of this would just fade into thin air.
But it does get tiring. Looking back now, you werenāt sure you got the irony in going on several dates just for you to come home at night to Charles, whoās almost always waiting for you at your front door to make sure you got home safe. Sure, his house was awfully near, but you donāt mind it anyway.Ā
To say your date tonight was bad is an understatement. It was with a guy you met through a mutual friend, and at first, seemed charming and kind. After having rescheduled the date four times because of reasons he couldnāt say, you took comfort in the fact that he might be a great guy and you should give him a chance. He didnāt pick you up from the house, which Charles frowned upon, but he let it slide eventually after some persuasion and convincing. The whole night he only talked about himself and was even rude to the waiter who served you. To make the night even worse, him complimenting your physique in a way only perverts do was the cherry on top.Ā
Charlesā lips twitch to form a small smile the moment he saw you walking towards your door. Previously on his phone, he shuts it down and sees your shoulders slumped as you give him an exasperated sigh when you finally get to him.
āHome so soon?ā Charles asks, though it was more of a statement laced with an I-told-you-so tone.
āWhy are you here so early?ā you return the question.Ā
āItās only what-ā you glance at your watch. ā8:30 in the evening? Youāre usually not here until 11.āĀ
Charles shrugs. āI figured this date wouldnāt go well. I had this weird feeling to wait for you really early, call it best friend instinct or something.ā
Best friend. In some weird way, the comforting thought that he goes out of his way to wait for you was joined with a little pang in your chest from the two words that defined the two of you your whole lives. Best friends, were all you were and you figure, all you ever will be.Ā
āSucks you had me give him the benefit of the doubt - the douchey shirt he was wearing really gave it away for me,ā he laughs lightly.Ā
The both of you sit down at the front of your door like you usually do before you went to bed. Itās routine, something you never get tired of, even when sometimes you and Charles were just enveloped in silence, comfortable silence that is.Ā
āIn my defense, he did seem nice. I wanted to give him a chance.āĀ
āYeah thatās the problem with you, no?ā he says. āYou give way too many chances. You give them away like itās Halloween and theyāre trick-or-treating. Even when signs point you to not entertaining them, youāre too kind to dismiss it.āĀ
Iāve only ever wanted to give one person one chance. But Iām too scared to lose you. You wanted to reply, but there was no way in hell you would actually say that. So much for the self-imposed courage you said you had.
āThatās practically what dating is, Charlie,ā you say instead, sighing after. āHow am I going to meet the right person if I just stand and stall?āĀ
āItās because you keep looking. I think incessantly looking for the right person is overrated, sometimes itās better to stop and let them come to you.ā
āOh because I should take dating advice from a guy whoās been in what, 6 dates his entire life?ā you tease, smiling at Charles after he returns a knowing look.
For a while, his gaze fixates on you, a small smile painted on your face and the moonlight reflecting in your eyes, somehow making them sparkle.
Right then and there he finds the answer as to why heās only ever been in six dates. And had no desire on going to more.Ā
āHey,ā you speak up, cutting Charlesā trail of thought.Ā
āAt least when I donāt find the right person, I wonāt be husbandless. I have you to marry, right?ā you joke, hoping it jogs Charlesā memory of a dumb promise he made when he was a child.Ā
āYeah, you do.āĀ
You entered the Leclerc household while it was in complete chaos. His brothers were occupied setting up a big table in the backyard and meticulously arranging the plates and centerpieces as to how Pascale, his mom, would like it. His aunts and mainly his mother were in the kitchen, surrounded by pots, pans, and cut-up ingredients for whatever they were cooking. Undoubtedly, Charles had a fairly big family if you include the extended ones. It was his 21st birthday after all, so it makes sense why he was a big deal for today.
āY/N! Youāre here early, dinner isnāt for another 3 hours.ā Pascale smiles upon seeing you, walking over to give you a kiss on the cheek.Ā
āI wanted to help you guys set up, looks like itās a busy day today.āĀ
You soon made rounds in their house, taking turns in helping in the kitchen, and backyard, and visiting Charles in his bedroom because he was apparently ordered to not move a finger until it was time to eat.Ā
Soon after, the long table set up beautifully in the backyard of Charlesā house was filled. Close friends, family, and everyone he held dear were present to celebrate his special day. Various dishes were laid out on the table as well as a cake baked by his mom herself had candles sticking out of it, along with a cake topper that said ā21ā. You sat beside Charles like you normally do, which was never an issue to anyone. Thankfully enough, despite the long tradition of having meals together with your and Charlesā family, no one ever posed the question of when the two of you are getting together or telling you two how much you looked good together.
Which benefitted the two of you. Now, you werenāt really sure if youād call each other best friends, not when you two had lingering feelings you keep hidden from one another. Itās better that no one imposes anything so you and Charles can avoid any awkward conversation that may arise after.
The dinner was definitely delightful. It was nice that Charles was able to fly back home after his races to celebrate with family and you could tell how happy he was as he sat at the head of the table, providing him a clear view of everyone present to celebrate him. The rest of the night was nothing but hearty conversations, light-hearted jokes, and sangrias that were made by a proud Lorenzo.Ā
āSpeaking of Lorenzo, I bumped into your girlfriend at the market the other day,ā Pascale speaks up, everyone instantly shifting their attention to her.
āYou should have brought her here, Enzo. She seems really nice.āĀ
āNoted for next time, Mama,ā Lorenzo laughs, continuing to sip his sangria.Ā
Granted, Lorenzo did explain theyāve been together only for several months and he didnāt want to put his girlfriend under extreme pressure by bringing her to a dinner surrounded by his entire family.Ā
āHow about you, Charles? Anyone your mom might be bumping into here in the city?ā his aunt turns his head to Charles, who was pleasantly surprised by the question.
āOh no, not at the moment,ā he chuckles, in hopes that would be the end of it.
āI donāt think Charles is the ādatingā type as of now, tante,ā Lorenzo adds, replying to his aunt.
āHey, Iāve been on dates!ā Charles puts his hands up in defense as everyone erupted in laughter. āReally, Iāve just been focusing on my racing career.ā
āPlus, I donāt think Iāve met the right person yet.ā he adds, adding a low laugh at the end.Ā
You shift in your seat as something in your heart drops, like your oxygen levels were dropping and your heart rate was slowing down. Whatever confirmation you were waiting for from the universe that what you felt for Charles remained stagnant, you were sure this was it. Hearing about how heās in pursuit of the destined person for him sent shivers down your spine, yet youāre certain you had no spine at all, considering you chose to hide your true feelings for him for God knows how long now.
āMama wonāt have to worry about daughters-in-law anyway, Y/Nās practically one,ā Arthur quips, making the whole table laugh once again, except you and Charles, who knew the gravity of the word wedding or marriage held for the two of you.
But the two of you manage to let out light, slightly forced laughs anyway, for each otherās benefit mostly.
āAh yes, Charles did promise to marry me when the time is right.ā you say, in a somehow witty and humorous tone, raising a brow as you look at Charles.Ā
āI intend to keep that promise, Y/N, donāt dare me.ā Charles taunts jokingly.
And for the irony and heartbreak of it all, that would wind up being the last time Charles ever mentions the only promise heās kept this long.
If anyone ever writes a biography about the untold love story you and Charles had, the author would probably call you cowards. For several years, decades even, the both of you never tried to see what it would be like on the other side of the door. Swearing you loved each other more than life itself yet never brave enough to jump and take the risk. You only ever convince yourselves that what you two have cost more and is more than finally having what you two really desired since you were both thirteen. So you both decide itās better to let what you felt die down when you both get tired of waiting and hoping that someday, time would finally pencil you in on a schedule and things would finally work out.
The shadow of being best friends your whole life mostly served as a justification for the hidden affection you had for one another. Whenever you questioned the motive as to why it only takes one call for Charles to come running over to wherever you are, you tell yourself heās your best friend, thatās why he cares so much. And every time Charlesā heartbeat skips when your skin touches whether in a hug or a kiss on the cheek, he ignores and tells himself the two of you have been close ever since. The two of you never thought to question it, always afraid of what comes after.
Soon enough the extended pining for each other would blur at least a little bit. You and Charles will eventually grow tired of being surrounded by the what-ifās youāve been holding back for years. So neither of you can really blame each other when one takes a step forward - itās general knowledge that any longer of whatever situation this was would just harm the two of you and could potentially ruin your friendship, the thing youāve been protecting so ceaselessly over the years.
At 24, you and Charles are at the peak of your careers. He was now racing for his dream team, and you finally got the promotion youād been busting your behind for for several years. But despite the busy schedules that you have mounted on your calendars, you manage to still have time for each other no matter how tough it got.Ā
19 years later, nothing had changed - exactly the way you and Charles wanted it to be. A small price to pay for broken hearts because of words left unspoken.Ā
But the question remains, would your hearts stay broken for so long? Maybe not, maybe the long game is what youāre supposed to play.
Charles always wanted his wedding to be private and intimate. He wasnāt one for big weddings where he invites people heās only seen several times in his life, and probably wonāt see for a long time after the wedding. He preferred it to just be close friends and family, in a private chapel, and heās damn lucky his bride shared the same philosophy.
The villa Charles had chosen was exclusive and very private, even the planners of the wedding itself can be counted by hand. The villa was rented for the entire weekend and he pats himself on the shoulder for doing a good job of picking out the place.Ā
The sun was starting to set and you could only stare at the golden hues that painted the sky. The breeze was warm but not too hot it makes you sweat. Tables and chairs were set up, beautiful centerpieces on top of it. Everyone was already well-dressed following the theme, all prepared for the ceremony. Even the piano player was seated down, in a tuxedo, all ready to play probably the most haunting music you will ever hear. You smile lightly as you play with the hem of your dress, closing your eyes and hoping your heart wonāt pop out of your chest.
āYour vows, please,ā the officiant says, as Charles brings out a paper from his coat pocket, tears already forming in his eyes.Ā
You could only look at him longingly, chest pounding, waiting for the words written on the piece of paper he held tightly.Ā
āMon amour, 7 years ago, my family thought I was never the dating type. Sure it was a joke, partly, but I wondered what it would be like to actually be with the right person, with my soulmate. I was too caught up in my career and in the whirlwind of chasing my dreams. But there you stood, in the middle of the chaos and you have managed to keep me grounded. You have served as my anchor all these years and I honestly donāt know what my life could have been if you werenāt in it.ā He continues, tears falling down as he proceeds to use his index finger to wipe his eyes.
āWith you, I finally know how it feels to be with their soulmate. In you, I found the best friend, the greatest teammate, and the most amazing woman. You have no idea how thankful I am that I found you in this lifetime, and I will spend the rest of my life loving you and reminding you just how much.ā
It wasnāt long before a tear rolled down your cheek and it feels like you couldnāt breathe. Of all the places you could be, this was the last place you ever thought youād be in - the wedding of the only man you have ever loved.
You sat in the audience, beside Arthur and Joris, who you hope was too occupied to see the tears you were shedding. You sat in the audience in your cream-colored dress, watching Charles promise to love another woman for the rest of his life, like your own personal execution, like you had done an unforgivable crime and this was the worldās way of punishing you for it.
Maybe it was your fault you even went. But your best friend for more than two decades asking you to be there for his wedding seems like something you canāt decline. It was the happiest day of his life, one of the most important days he was ever going to have - it would seem off that you werenāt there, but it was barbaric of you to torture yourself.Ā
You were happy for Charles, you know in your heart you were. But it was a shame you never knew how he felt and it was a missed opportunity you spent years hiding your heart from him. But here you sat, surrounded by the desolating what-ifs, just like when you were thirteen and you realized you liked Charles more than a friend.
For the first time in his life, Charles has finally broken a promise.
For the first time in your life, you realize just how crushing heartbreaks can be.
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tagging: @slytherheign, @honethatty12, @siovhanroy, @fdl305, @iloveyou3000morgan, @cxcewg, @sassyheroneckgiant, @ang3licho3, @pitlanebabe, @riverdalexvixens, @msliz, @boherahpsody (if anyone else wants to be a part of my taglist or if i forgot anyone that asked to be tagged, pls lmk by replying or sending me a message hehe)
notes: been ia since the hungarian gp bc my tooth was hurting so bad i was practically glued to my bed, also my classes start in less than three weeks and i am now more anxious than ever ANYWAY thank u so much for reading <3
"fuck," the curse tumbled from your lips on a sob, back arching from the lounger as you tried to push at jude's head, palm pressing into his forehead. his arms were wrapped around your thighs, one hand against your lower tummy in order to hold you back down and it was driving you insane. you couldn't move away from his mouth, from the constant pressure he was applying to your already oversensitive clit. "baby, please, s'too much."
you'd lost count of how many times he'd made you cum, how long he'd been buried between your thighs, the yacht bobbing peacefully on the blue water. it was a good thing you were practically in the middle of nowhere because the sounds your boyfriend had been pulling from you definitely shouldn't fall on others ears. it felt like it had been hours since he'd pressed you back into the lounger and settled between your legs, bikini bottoms discarded somewhere, his tongue finding home on his favourite spot. when jude went down on you, he often forgot to come back up.
he got lost in the way you tasted, in the noises he could get you to make, in the way your legs shook around his head and your back arched off whichever surface heād set you on. he was obsessed with how sweet you were and how just a few teasing flicks of his tongue could have you dripping down his chin. he was even more obsessed with the quiet whine that always slipped from your lips on the first press of his tongue into your leaking hole. it drove him crazy to hear the soft gasp of his name when his nose bumped your clit and he just had to hear it again. and again.
ājude,ā that was the gasp, the soft hiccup and hitch of your breath as you shook your head, gripped the edge of the boat so tight you were afraid the side might pierce your skin. from between your thighs dark eyes met yours, tongue flat to lick up the entire length of your pussy before he sucked your clit between soft lips. your entire body shook, still so sensitive from coming only seconds before and being allowed no time to recover. āit- it hurts.ā
jude made a sound low in the back of his throat, tongue soft over your clit as he tried to work you up again. his eyes were a little glazed over, slightly unfocused with lust and you knew heād gone into that headspace. the one that meant he wasnāt going to let up on eating you out until you uttered that one meaningful word. he kissed at your clit before dipping his tongue into you, pressing it so deep your mind went foggy.
āyouāre okay, sweetheart, just gimme one more.ā you whimpered at his words, felt your pussy gush and spasm at how hot he looked like this. he was so fucked out, barely registering anything around him besides getting you to cum again, getting to taste even more of you than before. when he shifted his chin glistened with your release, lips wet and sticky and it made your tummy tighten, hips wiggling beneath his large palms.
ābut-ā
āshh, one more i promise.ā jude pressed you a little harder into the lounger, dipped his head again and kissed around your pussy, nuzzled into you until you were whining at how messy he was being. your clit throbbed when he teased over it, pussy over sensitive and just bordering on sore, hole fluttering around nothing because he was yet to press his fingers or cock into you. heād made you cum countless times with his tongue alone, something you knew heād pride himself on when he finally pulled himself out of this state.
āyāsaid that after the last one.ā
āmāsorry, baby, just taste so good. one more, please, just one.ā jude was begging, actually begging, his voice whinier than normal and youād be lying if you said it didnāt have your pussy gushing a little more. he pressed your thighs a little further open to give him more access and kissed the supple skin, nipped hard enough to leave behind marks before going back to your pussy. āyou can give me one more, yeah?ā
you were nodding before you could even register his words, head falling back onto the pillow as jude gazed a little unseeing at the space between your thighs. he used his thumbs to spread you open a little more, kissed your clit just once before pulling his head back again. there was a few seconds of silence, of anticipating what he was going to do next and your breath caught in your throat when you felt his spit drip from your clit down your pussy, making a mess of you and the lounger beneath you.
judeās mouth was back on you immediately, licking and sucking, being overly messy and noisy as he groaned into your swollen flesh. your legs started to shake almost straight away, the knot in your tummy tightening when he focused all his attention on your clit. you gripped at his head to keep you grounded as moans and cries slipped from your lips, tears gathering in your eyes at the constant overstimulation.
jude was grinding down against the lounger, pressing his cock repeatedly into the soft cushion to find relief as he got lost again in your taste and your voice. he let his eyes close, moaned around your clit as he sucked it back between his lips and in the back of your head you knew it wouldnāt be only one more.
summary: trent and the reader run into her ex boyfriend, and jealousy consumes him.
age: 18+, there is smut in this so if youāre not 18 and above ciao!
authors note: this is my first official smut so please do not judge!!!
you didnāt know how you managed to find yourself in this awkward position.
trentās body pressed up against your back as he held you tightly in his arms, annoyance radiating off him which he failed to hide. your ex stood in front of you both with a smug smirk making its way onto his face as a dangerous glint flashed across in his eyes - trent was only seconds away from smacking it off.
āi think itās time for you to leave, michael,ā you said with a firm tone, glaring at the joke of a man who stood in front of you.
michael was the worst boyfriend you could have ever asked for. he cheated on you with your, now ex, best friend, and his only excuse for it was that you werenāt giving him enough attention. which, by the way, was complete bullshit because you always gave him your full attention, he just always pushed you away. not to mention he treat you horrible. i mean, last time you checked, slapping your girlfriend wasnāt exactly the right way to treat the woman you loved.
you were a strong woman, but the words and hits you received from michael were even stronger.
trent was the one who helped you when you turned up to his house, crying your eyes out because your boyfriend had slapped you for the tenth time that week. trent was the one who patched up all of your scars and kissed your bruises better, praying that there wouldnāt be any more next time he checked. trent was the one who was there for you all along, patiently waiting for you to snap back to reality and finally realise it.
and once you did, you never regretted it.
the both of you hadnāt heard from michael for a little over a year, the last time you did he tried to drug you and drag you to his bed. thankfully, andy was there to see it and he immediately grabbed the attention of virgin and gomez who escorted michael out of the club.
when trent found out about this, he went mental. it was no wonder why michael hasnāt made any move to return until now. truth is, he was scared of what trent would do once he found out someone laid a finger on his girl.
this is why michael knew he couldnāt do anything to you physically. heck, the entire liverpool squad was glaring at him from their positions around the room. he didnāt dare turn around to be face with virgil and alissonās glares. plus, now that nunez was apart of the team, and understood everything fabio told him from the corner of the room, he too was now glaring at michael.
although, this didnāt exactly mean michael couldnāt get to you both mentally.
āwhy should i leave?ā he asked in shock. āi havenāt done anything,ā he winked, his eyes momentarily glancing down to your shown cleavage.
you noticed this and buried yourself in trentās arms further, his arms immediately covering your chest. your eyes widened once you noticed his angered demeanour from behind you, and you just hoped michael wouldnāt do anything to trigger this.
ānot yet,ā trent mumbled, jaw clenched.
āyou know me too well, trentski,ā michael joked, using the nickname andy gave trent years ago.
andy heard michael using his nickname and turned around so fast you were positive he gave himself whiplash.
āokay.ā trentās dry response made you chuckle, but you immediately shut up once michael directed his attention back towards you.
āsay, do you reckon he knows me better than how i know you?ā asked michael. you paused. where was he going with this? āi donāt think he does. i donāt even think he knows you better than how i know youā¦ā he pondered in thought.
your breath ran short as you widened your eyes. you knew where this was going, and you knew michael was only doing it to piss off trent.
āmate, what are you waffling about?ā trent laughed, his arms growing tighter around you. he took notice of your tense state and furrowed his eyebrows.
āis she as good in bed as she was with me?ā
you looked down towards the ground. you felt dirty, disgusted, used. you knew michael only wanted to gain a reaction out of trent, and yet whilst doing so he was damaging you in the process. what he was about to say made you look like the most pathetic woman on earth. truth to be told, you certainly felt like her right now.
trent stilled. āyou what?ā
michael noticed trentās overprotective side starting to come out, yet he didnāt stop. ādoes she listen to you in bed like how she listened to me? does she ride you for your forgiveness? does she suck you off at an event because she thought you were mad at her?-ā
āmichael,ā you warned, your chest tight as you tried to forget the horrific memories he was replaying for you. moreover, you were trying to stop the sickening images from forming in trentās head.
ādoes she like to be handcuffed and teased until she canāt take it anymore? does she like to be spanked like how she did with me? does she get turned on from getting slapped? because i know she did with me-ā
you could feel the fury radiating off of trent, the idea that another man had you before he did fuelled him with rage. knowing that another man only wanted you for sex and was now bragging about it like you enjoyed these things made him furious; trent knew you didnāt. you told trent ages ago about all the shit michael made you do in bed because it turned him on, but it did the opposite to you.
trent didnāt care about what michael was saying, he knew about it all. the only thing he cared about was the grin on michaelās face as he thought about how he used to fuck you.
jealousy was something familiar to trent due to the amount of boys that tended to flirt with you; yet he doesnāt think heās ever gotten as angry before until this exact moment.
āoh! and do tell me: does she beg to be fucked after finding out you fucked her best friend?ā
and there it was. just thinking about it made you feel disgusted. you didnāt even care that michael had just come back from fucking your best friend because all youāve ever wanted was to be loved.
so you begged him to fuck you like how he used to - like all those months before, back when he used to loved you: before he started hitting you, before he started verbally assaulting you, and long before he started cheating on you.
even if you knew it was wrong, you didnāt care in the moment, your boyfriend didnāt love you anymore, and that thought alone terrified you.
ābest night of my life having her beg for me,ā michael said, winking at you. āwouldnāt mind doing it again.ā
that was trentās final straw.
he pushed you out of the way and reached forwards to land a hard punch on michaelās face. you widened your eyes as michaelās head snapped to the side, a laugh escaping his throat before he too launched forwards to fight trent.
furthermore, this caused the rest of michaelās friends to try and gang up on trent. big mistake.
you ran away from the bar as the wags welcomed you with opened arms, hugging you tightly and asking about what happened whilst the boys all argued behind you.
trent was pulled away from landing another punch on michael by jordan. the rest of the team saw this and ran over, holding trent back as milner demanded to know what had been said.
trent explained through clenched teeth what michael had said, causing the squad to snap their attention towards michael with menacing glares. harvey and fabio - who were holding trent back - whistled in shock and immediately let go, giving trent the go sign to continue with his fight.
āget out,ā alisson stated, placing his arm in front of virgil to stop the man from breaking michaelās jaw.
michael rolled his eyes. just as he was about to say something else he noticed the countless glares he received from the liverpool squad. wisely, michael decided he didnāt want to die today. and so, whilst throwing one last wink in your direction, he and his friends made their way out of the club.
āyou okay?ā gakpo asked, patting his friend on the shoulder as trent shook him off and walked away.
āsomeoneās mad,ā mumbled gomez.
āand rightfully so,ā andy answered. āwhat a fucking dickhead.ā
the wags continued to fuss over you, especially after the wink michael threw towards you when he left. it was pointless to tell them you were fine, because you werenāt. you were disgusted, and you knew michael had got to trent.
the discussion you were having with the girls was silenced once they saw trent rushing over.
āweāre going home. now,ā trent latched onto your arm, hurdling you to your feet as he manoeuvred your way through the club. his tense demeanour caused you to sigh in annoyance, not wanting to have a fight after the night youāve just had.
ābabe, you canāt seriously be mad at me-ā
āweāll talk when we get home,ā he insisted, his harsh voice initiating that the decision was final. and you found yourself not wanting to argue with him any further.
and so you were quiet the whole way home. the car drive was awkward, any time you turned to him his jaw was clenched and his mind was spinning. you knew trent well enough to know he was replaying everything michael had said in his head, and you hoped he wouldnāt take his jealousy out on you.
walking into your home, the door was slammed shut behind you. you decided that trent can approach you on your own, so you instead decided to walk to your bedroom so you can start getting ready for bed.
trent followed your every move, his eyes not daring to leave your figure as you stood in front of him. he was fuming, sure. he wasnāt one for dealing with his emotions appropriately, so he felt like what he was about to do was the only way he could deal with his undying jealousy.
trent walked up behind you, his warm breath hitting the back of your neck. his fingers carefully trailed up your thighs, over your hips, and up your spine, so he could move your hair out of his way.
your breath hitched slightly as you fumbled to take your bracelets off, but you didnāt say a word. trent slowly leant down and pressed a soft kiss on your shoulder blade. you bit your bottom lip so you didnāt make a sound as trent continued to kiss up your neck. the grip he had on your waist tightened as he pulled you towards him, your back landing against his defined chest.
ātrent?ā you whispered breathlessly. trent hummed in response, swiftly turning you around until your back hit the bedroom wall.
he slowly brought his hand up, his fingers caressing your cheek until they landed on your plumped lips. trent licked his bottom lip, the memories from earlier that night returning to his head as his jaw clenched. his eyes looked at you up and down, glancing a little longer at the cleavage shown on your chest.
eyes stared directly into each other, your lips parted perfectly as trent continued to run his thumb along your bottom lip.
without warning trent slammed his lips onto yours, not being able to stay away from you much longer. he longed for you, your lips, your body, your skin against his. he was needy, he wanted you right then and there. trent needed to know that you were his, and his only.
trent swiped his tongue against your soft lips, almost begging for entrance. you obeyed instantly, peeling open your lips just enough to give trent leverage to sneak his tongue inside.
his right arm wrapped around your throat - tightly - as the other stayed on your waist. you snaked your arms around the brunettes shoulders, your fingers getting tangled in his dreads.
the kiss felt like it lasted forever. your mouths moved together in-sync perfectly, his teeth lightly bit onto your bottom lip, your breaths mixing between your mouths.
breathless on what had just happened, you both pulled away.
your lips still tingled from the feeling of trentās wet ones pressed right against them. you sighed in content, already missing the desire you had in that surreal moment only seconds ago.
"what was that?" you panted, and rested your head against the wall, trentās arm still remaining loosely around your throat.
trent stared at you with a dangerous look in his eyes as he grinded his teeth together. āyour mine.ā
you knew it. of course this was about michael, what else would this be about?
āof course i am,ā you nodded. āy-you just shocked me, thatās all.ā
"want me to stop, love?" trent asked, his tongue running over his bottom lip as a cocky smirk plastered onto his face.
you shook your head. "no,ā you whined, letting trent hear the exact word he needed.
trent chuckled at the desperation, connecting your lips once again. only this time it was much harsher now that he has your consent. he walked backwards towards his bed before slamming you down against it. he hands travelled over your chest and back towards your neck.
you thought you was dreaming. you gave yourself a minute to process what was happening before you placed your hands on either side of his face and flipped you both over so you lay on top instead.
your knees rested by either side of his hips, grinding down as he moaned into your mouth. you could feel his broad shoulders underneath his top that showed his muscular arms slowly travelling up the back of your neck, pulling you closer.
trent has never felt more alive in his life than right now - he could feel the excitement ascend up his body. heās been thinking of this moment all night, claiming you as his and fucking you like thereās no tomorrow.
he pulled you closer, his hand slowly travelled down your body to rest at your hip bones. you let out a gasp when trent sat up and began to leave a trail of hickeys down your neck and collarbone.
flipping you over once again, trent swooped down and reconnected your lips, fighting for dominance in the heated kiss. he found himself grinding against you, his arms resting on either side of your head as you both moaned into each others mouths.
you put up no fight, and lazily smirked when you felt trent place a trail of kisses along your jaw. you let out a small moan, his arm was bound to leave a bruise around your neck tomorrow morning.
not that either of you minded.
trent smirked down at you underneath him, he felt you groan from the loss of his lips, yet he made no effort to resume your make-out. instead, he opted with just grinding slowly against you, stopping his movements completely as you let out a strained whimper.
you groaned. "what are you doing?" you demanded, hating the way trent teased you.
trent smirked again, his hot breath fanned over your face as he leaned forwards - lips brushing against each other. he put a teasing kiss at the corner of your lips, another frustrating sound left your mouth once trent sat back up.
āmaybe michael was right,ā you stated, too sexually frustrated to care about what was even coming out of your mouth. trent paused his movements, edging you to continue. āmaybe he did fuck me better than you do, at least he gave me what i wante-ā
you were silenced by the feeling of trentās lips pressing against your own - harsh.
any signs showing that he was going to hold back vanished after your words. he was angry. angry at himself and angry at you for even suggesting such nonsense.
he threw his t-shirt off and fumbled with the buttons of his trousers as he shrugged them off, being left in only his boxers. he lifted your dress up and pulled your panties down, causing you to whimper as the cold air hit your core.
āwhat was that?ā he asked, pressing multiple kisses down your body until he reached the place you needed him most. you whined desperately and held onto his hair. āhe fucks you better than i do?ā
ān-no,ā your shook your head, moaning as he placed multiple kisses on the inside of your thighs. āi-i was joking.ā
ājokes are supposed to be funny, love,ā he laughed mockingly, halting his kisses to run his finger over your aching core instead, his breath hitched as he held himself back from eating you out. āpussyās so wet. this all for me?ā
you nodded and threw your head back as his fingers continued to run up and down your folds. āyes! all for you! no one else! iām sorry! iām only yours!ā
āthatās what i thought.ā
you didnāt get time to respond before trentās tongue immediately made contact with your leaking core. it felt amazing, he hasnāt touched you there for ages and so your mind was running wild. you let out a loud moan and gripped onto his hair, your toes curling as he continued to abuse your pussy.
ātrent!ā you yelled as he placed two fingers inside of you, your thighs wrapping around his head as he let out a moan against your body. you were so close, he knew you were. he could feel your body shaking as you let out the dirtiest of whimpers. but, just as you were about to finish, he pulled away.
āfuck sake!ā you cursed.
trent licked his lips and leaned towards your ear, he let his clothed erection grind against your wet pussy and chuckled as you whined again. āi want you to cum when iām inside you, can you do that for me, baby?ā
your chest moved up quickly and down as you nodded. āyes. please trent, iām begging. do something. iām so fucking close.ā
āi know, baby, i know,ā trent said, taking his boxers off. āgonna show you exactly who you belong to, how does that sound? huh? who does this pretty pussy belong to?ā
you moaned as he rubbed his dick against your wet folds. he knew you were on the pill, so he made no move for any condoms. and there was no need for lube considering how wet you were - his tongue really was magic.
āyou! it- i belong to you!ā
āgood girl.ā
finally, after a long night of teasing and longing, his dick pushed past your folds. usually, he would give time to adjust to his size. however, tonight was very different. he was still angry about the comments made earlier, he was still upset with you for even suggesting that michael fucked you better than he did.
trent knew you could take it, you always did.
so, as you whined pathetically underneath him and begged him to do something, he moved his hips in such a fast motion it had you gasping for air.
āoh- trent!ā you whined. you could hear the slick sounds as he moved in and out of you, the filthy noise only causing you to whine harder.
āshit!ā trent cursed as your walls tightened around him, knowing he wasnāt going to last much longer if you continued.
whimpers and groans fell from both of your lips as he continued to fuck you like there was no tomorrow. he pressed a soft kiss against your neck, something that made you smile in content through the pleasure of him stretching you out completely.
āatta girl.ā
thatās hot, you thought.
āthatās it, gonna make you cum. gonna cum so deep inside of yo-ā his sentence was shortened as he let out a deep moan and a cold shudder, only seconds away from tipping over the edge.
you felt your release coming and you knew youād only be allowed to come with his permission. ātrent!ā you whined. āiām gonna cum!ā
ācum with me baby, cmon, i know you can do it,ā he insisted. those words alone drove you over the edge completely. you let out a loud moan as you finished all over his dick, whimpering as you felt him spill inside of you.
the both of you each gave yourself a few seconds to recover. he pressed delicate kisses along your body, whispering how good you were for him. you played with his dreads, calming him down as you savoured the moment of after-care together.
ātrent,ā you said after a few moments. he looked up at you with his doe-eyes, waiting for you to continue. āiām sorry for what i said about michael fucking me better than you do. itās not true! it was in the heat of the moment. i didnāt mean it. iām so sor-ā
trent cut you off by pressing a delicate kiss on your lips. ādonāt worry, i know.ā
you kissed him back and pulled away with a smile. āi love you. and remember, iām only ever yours, okay? i know how his words got to you.ā
āi love you too,ā trent said, rubbing circles along your palms to calm him down. āi know his words shouldnāt have got to me, he only wanted a reaction and i gave him that. iām so-ā
ādonāt apologise, you had every right to be mad,ā you placed a kiss on his temple. ācmon, letās go and get washed up.ā
ācan we watch a film after,ā he asked, following you into the bathroom. you smiled. you and trent always enjoyed watching a film before bed. it was a routine youāve had for a few months now.
A/N: This was written based on Shakiraās acrostico and the adorable clip of Pedri with the little girl at the Liga celebration in Camp Nou. Anything in italics is flash backs. Enjoy :)
If someone has the gif of Pedri with the little girl can you send it to me to add it onto here please?!?
ā¢ā¢ā¢
You heard Pedri shut the door to your bedroom in rage as you stood in the kitchen. Your heart was beating fast and with the silence around you, you were sure if anyone else had been there they would have been able to hear it. The last few weeks between the two of you hadnāt been very smooth. One argument after another, he had spent more time traveling with the team than at home, and that didnāt help either.
You took a few seconds to calm yourself down before walking over to the bedroom and talking to him. You had planned a nice dinner where you were going to give him the news. It had been eating you up for days and you had finally made your mind. You werenāt sure you were ready but you knew that together you and Pedri would be able to get through it together.
Unfortunately, Pedri didnāt come home on time. You called and sent him messages but they all went unanswered. Towards the end of the night your calls ended up going directly to voicemail. When he walked into the home you were sitting at the kitchen table. You looked up at him. āHey.ā He said as he put his keys down. You scoffed looking at the cold food that had waited alongside you for him.
-Ni de coƱa, hey, thatās all you have to say?- You raised your voice. It was almost as if this missed dinner had been the final straw for you.
-What do you want me to say?- He responded as he banged on the kitchen table with his fists startling you.
-Where were you?-
-Around.- He said coldly shutting down your questioning.
-I called and messaged youā¦- He cut you off.
-I know and I had to turn my phone off because you didnāt let me enjoy myself.- He stared into your eyes as he said this. Not a single bit of remorse in his eyes. You bit your inner lip as you tried to hold your composure. You felt your throat choke with sadness and emptiness. This wasnāt the man you had fallen in love with.
He turned around and began to walk away from where you were sitting.
-We were supposed to have dinner together and I was going toā¦- He interrupted you again as he stopped walking.
-And you were supposed to what? Seguir jodiendo? I canāt ever do anything because you want to know where I am, who Iām with. The day I cheat on you, you wonāt even know it.-
-Whatās what supposed to mean? That youāre already planning it?- You asked holding back tears.
He brushed his hands through his hair as he turned around to look at you frustrated. -This is so broken, why do we keep on doing this?- He said as he walked towards the hallway and into the bedroom.
-Que quieres?- He said as you opened the door to the bedroom.
-I think we should talk.-
-I donāt want to talk. I come home after days of being away and we canāt even last a few minutes before we start to argue.-
You rolled your eyes, standing silent for a few seconds. You tried to eat your ego up and not say anything. This wasnāt the right time. But of course you couldnāt.
-Why do you act like itās always my fault?
He turned over to look at you. -Because maybe it is. Itās always Pedri why are you doing this. Pedri why didnāt you call.-
You interrupted him. -If something is broken, you try to fix it, you donāt throw it away. But if thatās how you feel, then Iām not sure why weāre even together.- you spat back after taking a deep breath trying to mask your need to cry.
-I honestly donāt know either.- He responded, immediately regretting the words.
But he was too proud to admit it to you. He sat on the bed scrolling through his phone while you packed your luggage. You rummaged through your clothes and packed a few of your things. You threw your clothes into the luggage as you tried your best to hold in your tears. You felt a knot in your throat as you wiped the tears forming in your eyes.
You grabbed the last shirt when you heard something fall to the ground. You picked up the positive pregnancy test you were going to give to him tonight. You bit your bottom lip trying not to cry as you held the test close to you.
Iām sorry. You whispered as you rubbed your stomach. But he will be better off without us.
You didnāt dare look at him when you walked out of the closet. He looked up from his phone. -Adonde vas?- Where are you going? He asked.
You continued to walk as you pulled the luggage and threw your purse over your shoulder. -Lejos de aqui.- Far from here.
-Estas exagerando.- Youāre exaggerating. He said as he stood up from the bed following you.
You felt his steps behind you. You wanted to turn around and tell him everything. Show him the love the two of you felt had formed something beautiful, a life. But you knew that wasnāt the right thing to do.
He needed his freedom and thatās what you were going to give to him. The constant arguments had gotten to be too much.
You wiped your eyes and turned around to look at him stopping him dead in his tracks in front of you. Neither of you said anything for a few seconds. You took that time to look into his beautiful chocolate brown eyes and try to memorize them forever.
-Leave if you want to, Iām not going to beg you to stay.- He said staring at you. You took a deep breathe and began to walk away.
-Adios, Pedro.-
You walked out of the house as fast as you could and got into your car. You began to drive away in silence. You felt as if something was stuck in your throat. And finally a few streets away you let yourself break down. The tears began to roll out of your eyes and you couldnāt help but scream profanities as you hit your steering wheel out of anger. As the tears continued, you felt an emptiness in your stomach. You felt anxious thinking the baby could feel all of the sadness, thinking how horrible of a mother you were already to him or her.
You felt disappointed that this new life had been formed without love. You knew perfectly when you had gotten pregnant because it had been the last time you and Pedri had been together. He had came home drunk and late again. You argued and went to sleep only to be woken up by him asking you to forgive him. You fell right back into his trap and before you knew it you were having sex. But he didnāt kiss you like he used to. His sole focus was on how he felt. His hands didnāt caress your body as they once had. Once he was done he stood up from the bed and went to sleep on the couch leaving you a crying mess in the bed. You knew better but you still wanted to fix things. You were so caught up in not trying to lose him that you failed to see you already had.
-When are you going to tell him?- Asked your mom as she walked over to your bedroom window and opened up the curtains. The light from the sun hit your eyes and you took your covers and placed them over you.
-For what?- You said from under the covers.
-Itās his child.-
You had been back home in Valencia for two weeks since leaving Pedri. You would start your studies again in Valencia and completely forget about Barcelona. Pedri had called you that night as you drove from Barcelona to Valencia. He called the next day. But three days later his calls stopped coming in.
-He gave up in three days mama, I donāt think heās going to care.-
Your mom had been shocked when you arrived to the home after driving almost four hours. She rubbed her sleepy eyes as she opened the door and saw you stand in front of her, your eyes puffy and red while you held on to one of Pedriās jerseys. You didnāt have to say anything, immediately throwing yourself into her arms as you nuzzled your face on her shoulder. Again breaking down as you cried in your motherās arms.
-Esta bien, mi niƱa.- She reassured you as she patted your back. You felt your body fall more into her, completely vulnerable.
-No, se ha ido todo al carajo- No, everythingās gone to shit. You said as you finally let go of your mother and she closed the door behind you. You fell onto the couch still holding onto his jersey. You had grabbed it without thinking. The smell of Pedri still lingering. Your mother followed you into the living room and stood there trying to take it all in.
-Mami.- You said in between sobs, holding his jersey against your body.
-Que ha pasado, cariƱo?-
She asked looking down at you. She had been woken up by the knocks on the front door somewhat frustrated but all of that frustration had now turned to worry as she saw you breaking in front of her. Your dad had passed two years ago, and she has given you the space you needed, even if that meant you hardly visited her. In a way she knew you were safe by the way Pedri looked at you when you were together. The way he melted at everything you did. But she hadnāt been around lately. In fact you had avoided her coming over because you were convinced that anyone who spent more than five minutes with the two of you could tell right away your relationship was breaking.
-Iām pregnant.- You looked up at her with pleading eyes. You were just twenty and sure it wasnāt the ideal situations but you didnāt need scolding, you needed her acceptance. You sat there as your own words replayed in your head. It was the first time you said it out loud. In a matter of seconds it felt more real. Your mother embraced you in a hug as the two of you cried. In that moment she didnāt understand the situation but she didnāt want to push you. She knew better with you.
Eventually you had told her most of what had happened. She encouraged you to tell him, telling you he had a right to know.
-What for? So we can get back together and be miserable for the rest of our lives with each other?-
Your mom shook her head knowing you had gotten your stubbornness from your father. -You donāt have to get back with him. Just let him know.-
-You know how he is. He will feel responsible and feel like he has to be with me. I donāt want him to be with me out of pity.-
Despite not agreeing with you she knew it wasnāt her place. She kept her mouth quiet and offered you support.
As the weeks went by you began to see news about Pedri out with people. A few models, some influencers. He looked happy. Meanwhile your belly began to grow. Your mom helped you with massages at night after long days. Some nights you cried yourself to sleep as you felt your life crumble down. You had no idea how you were going to take care of yourself, let alone your baby.
You sat in your car, crying, outside of the clinic when they told you the gender of the baby.
You closed your eyes and remembered how excited Pedri would get when the two of you spoke about your future children.
-Maybe two or three.- He said as the two of you laid on his bed. He laid on his stomach as you faced the ceiling. One of his arms draped around your body as one of your hands played with his hair.
-At least two. I always wished I had a sibling.- You said as an only child.
-What would we name them?- He asked as the two of you laid there. -I donāt know.- You said with a smile on your face.
-If itās a girl, Rosie como mi madre.- Like my mother. He said. You laughed. -Vale, but if itās a boy then Sergio como mi padre.- like my father. He smiled and agreed.
A few weeks later you found yourself in Barcelona picking up paperwork from school. Before heading back home you stopped by a small convenience store to pick up some snacks for the train. As you turned a corner you felt your body smash against somebody else causing you to drop everything in your hands.
-Iām sorry.- Said the voice above you as you leaned down trying to grab everything from the floor. You werenāt as agile as you used to be and found it difficult to get up from the floor.
-Joder, help me get up. I need a little help here.- You said as you looked up and your eyes met with Gaviās.
-Y/N.- He said with eyes wide open and a startled look on his face, his eyes on your pregnant belly.
-Pablo.- You responded as you let go of his hand and grabbed the snacks against your body.
-You. Youāre pregnant.- He said pointing towards your belly.
-Si.- You responded quickly hoping he didnāt ask any more questions.
-Is it, is it Pedriās?- He asked timidly. You rolled your eyes.
-No Pablo. Iāve met someone else.-
He accepted your response. -Take care.- He said as he began to take a step away from you, only stopping when he heard you call out his name.
-Pablo, please donāt tell him.-
He looked at you with pleading eyes. -But heās my best friend.-
-Itās not his, it doesnāt matter.- You said holding on to your stomach.
-I just donāt understand.- He said. -You leave and meet someone else and get pregnant? It hasnāt even been a year and youāre about to have this baby. He loved you.-
-Youāre right, he loved me. But he didnāt love me anymore when I left, Pablo.-
-No, joder you should see him. He didnāt take it well. Heās not the same anymore, he still...-
You interrupted him. -He still what, Pablo? He still loves me? Iāve seen the pictures. He didnāt look too sad holding all of those girlsā hands.-
Gavi shook his head. -Promise me itās not his. He would never forgive me if I knew and didnāt tell him.-
You shook your head. -Itās not his, Gavi. Donāt tell him, it will break him.-
Gavi agreed and left the store.
You went into labor a few weeks later, luckily knowing Gavi had kept his promise because Pedri had not tried to contact you.
Your mom rushed around the apartment as she grabbed all of your stuff and the two of you walked towards the car. Once at the hospital everything seemed like a blur. The nurse pushed you through the hallways as your mother joined behind. You felt a hole in the pit of your stomach as you saw other couples around. Despite the pain of being in labor it hurt you more to think about what Pedri would have been doing if he was by your side. Would he have been frantic and anxious, yelling at all of the cars who got in his way as he drove you to the hospital. Having to run back to the car because he forgot your bag. Or would he have been calm, eager for the arrival of your baby and given you the strength you needed in this moment.
Tears began to fall down your eyes because you knew it was nonsense. It didnāt matter what he would have been like because he wasnāt there. You were alone.
You felt yourself lose your last breath as you pushed one more time. Your mother held on to your hand as you heard the cry. Your body fell backwards onto the bed as you realized your job was done. You tried to catch your breathe as you laid against the pillow. A second layer they placed Rosie on your bare chest. You looked down at her and smiled, quickly counting all of her toes and fingers. Everything stood still. The noise went away, it was just you and her. She looked up at you and your felt tears come falling down your face when you realized she had his beautiful brown eyes.
Eventually the nurses and doctor left, your mother excused herself to give you time and you sat there with her in your arms. You continued to cry as your heart had never felt this type of love. You were sure your love for her would never end. As she looked up at you, you promised her she would never see you this fragile again. You were going to be strong for her.
You were able to return to your uni classes while your mother helped you take care of Rosie. It wasnāt ideal but you made it work. You stayed up all night doing your class work while she slept, and went to class and worked a job while your mother helped you with her. Sometimes you were able to bring her along.
Having Rosie made you stronger but also broke you in a way. She reminded you of her father every day. From the way she scrunched up her nose and pouted her lips to her eyebrows and light brown eyes. She had came into your life when you unexpectedly needed her the most but would always remind you of what you lost.
One day when Rosie was just a few months old and learning how to crawl you came home to her holding a picture of Pedri in her hands.
Rosie sat in the middle of the living room with the picture, a picture you had taken of him in his BarƧa uniform after a match.
-Que es esto?- What is this? You asked your mother as you took the picture away from Rosie. She immediately began to cry. Your mother shrugged her shoulders, -La niƱa la encontro, es su padre, blood calls.- She found it, itās her father, blood calls.
You rolled your eyes as Rosie continued to cry only calming down once you handed her back the picture. You figured she would let it go when she fell asleep and you could get rid of it. But Rosie had other plans, she clinched on to it as she fell asleep. Her little fingers holding onto the picture of Pedri tightly.
Rosie didnāt let go of the picture. Not that night or the day following. She would place it down to eat or showers but she always looked for it. You tried putting it away once and eventually caved in and gave it back to her so she would stop crying.
One day as your mother, you and Rosie were sitting at the dinner table she began to look for the picture.
-Pa ā¦ pa ā¦ pa.- said Rosie as she reached for the worned out picture in front of her.
-What is she saying?- You looked over at your mother who took a sip of her drink trying to avoid your question. Her eyes on the plate in front of her.
-Mama!- You spoke up again. She looked over at you.
-Es su padre. You canāt even deny it, she looks like him.-
Unbeknownst to you, your mother had talked to Rosie about Pedri.
Rosie had the picture in her hands. Your mother looked down at her and smiled. She walked over to Rosie and picked her up placing her on her lap. Rosie looked at her and smiled as she took the picture out of her hand.
-I thought your mother was going to kill me when she saw you with this picture.- Rosie looked at her grandma with wide opened eyes.
-Este es tu papa.- Thus is your father. Rosie had just started to make small sounds and was working on saying mama but as soon as she heard your mother say those words Rosieās eyes lit up. -Papa.- cooed the little girl.
Your mom smiled as she held on to the little girl who was a perfect combination of you and Pedri. Her eyes identical to his and her curly brown her just like yours.
-He loved your mom a lot and Iām sure he will love you as soon as he meets you.- She told Rosie. Your mom proceeded to tell Rosie the story of how you and Pedri had met, Rosie drifting off to sleep in her grandmotherās arms holding on to the picture.
You ran across the street after your last class of the day trying to make it to the metro on time. As you stepped one foot off the curb you felt his car hit you. You landed on the floor in front of a black Maserati.
-Ostia, watch where youāre going.- You yelled. The driver got out of the car quickly and ran over to you. -Iām so sorry are you okay?- He asked as he held you by the arms trying to lift you up. Your eyes met his chocolate brown eyes and you felt like your legs were made of mush and couldnāt stand up. This effect had nothing to do with his car hitting you but by the beautiful man standing in front of you.
-Iām fine. Iāll be fine.- You said as he continued to ask for forgiveness. -I am usually very careful but there were people trying to run after my car for a picture andā¦-
You interrupted him. -A picture? Are you famous?-
-Itās fine, donāt worry. I wonāt sue you now just because I know you have money.- You said causing him to giggle. -Look my legs are fine.- You said pointing down at your legs as you flexed each one of them. Pedri looked at you with a smile.
-But I think I did miss the metro.- You say as you grab your book from the floor and look over at your phone to check the time.
Pedri grabbed your hands trying to prevent you from walking away. -Please, let me take you to wherever you were going. Itās the least I can do.-
A few weeks later you found yourself in Barcelona with Rosie. As much as you avoided going into the city sometimes it was impossible. You ended up near the university close by to Camp Nou and remembered the nearby cafe shop you and Pedri used to visit often. He would stop there every morning before practice for a quick shake and sometimes on his way home to buy you a cake pop, your favorite in the city. Rosie had been a trooper all day from the train ride from Valencia to Barcelona to going around running errands. She deserved a treat.
You walked into the coffee shop holding Rosie on your waist. The line was a little long and you hoped she wouldnāt get fuzzy. A few seconds in you felt someoneās steps get closer and Rosie began to giggle. You smiled because Rosie was always giggling with strangers. You knew it could be a problem as she became mobile but for the time being sometimes you appreciated it because it kept her busy. A few customers paid and the line moved as you continued to wait.
You felt as Rosie began to pull away from you. -Pa pa pa.- You heard her say. You had left the picture in the backpack and had managed to make her forget about it, at least for the day. You knew she would eventually ask for it and the time was now.
-Rosie, you will have to wait for the pictureā¦-
As you turned around you saw him. He was smiling at Rosie. His hand put up in a high five waiting for her to connect it with hers.
Pedri stood there in front of you and his daughter. His face dropped as soon as your eyes met. Your skin tone changed, pale, as if you had seen a ghost.
-Rosie?- He furrowed his brows and looked at you. -Y/N?-
You stood there in front of him and felt heat go through your body starting with your legs. Your heartbeat accelerated as you looked at him and wished the floor would open and eat you up in that moment.
-Pedri.- Was all you managed to say. Rosie continued to pull herself away from you and towards Pedri. He looked at her, you could tell his mind was spinning. The way he looked at every detail of her. He knew within an instant she was his. He felt as if a cold dagger had been pushed through his heart.
-Gavi told me.- He said. His jaw clenched. -That you met someone. That you were expecting a baby with him. No jodas Y/N, es mi hija.- Donāt fuck with me Y/N, sheās my daughter.
You felt yourself choke up. Your eyes filling up with tears as Rosie looked at you. She immediately sensed that you were not okay and leaned in to rest her head on your chest.
Pedri looked at her with endearing eyes. A small smile peeking through his frustrated expression.
-Letās not do that here.- You said as you looked around the cafe. People had noticed the two of you were in somewhat of an argument. Pedri cleared his throat.
-Then where?-
-Pedri, please.- You pled, this time unable to hold in the tears. Rosie looked up at you and with her little fingers traced down the wet path that the tears left on your face, in an attempt to wipe them away.
The three of you walked towards Pedriās car in silence. You sat in the back with Rosie on your lap since you didnāt have a car seat and held on to her. Minutes later you pulled up to Pedriās house. He opened the door to the dark home and turned on the lights.
You choked up as you looked around. Many of the decorations you had brought in still stood. You wondered how many more had came through these hallways and rooms without realizing bits and pieces of you still remained.
You found yourself standing in front of Pedri at the kitchen table. The same way you had the night you left, this time with Rosie in your arms.
-Why?- Was the only thing that came out of Pedriās mouth as he looked at you.
-Pedri, sheās-
He interrupted you. -Ni de coƱa do you try to tell me sheās not mine. Her eyes. Rosie, thatās what you and I had said we would name our daughter.-
-You are better off without us.- You spat back. -You hated that I wanted to know where you were or with who. I gave you the freedom that you wanted. I didnāt want you to feel like you had to be with me for her.-
He had kept his eyes on the table, finally looking up at you.
-You made that choice for me. I didnāt ask you to.-
-You didnāt have to. You were miserable with me. Why would having a child change any of that?-
-Donāt act like you knew how I felt.- He raised his voice at you causing Rosie to begin to cry.
You looked over at your baby who you had promised to protect and defend and here you were back with the one person you wanted her to stay away from.
-This was a mistake.- You said as you grabbed your bag and began to walk towards the front door.
-If you leave right now, Iāll make your life hell. I will take her.- You heard Pedri say in a quiet manner behind you.
You turned around with a look of disgust on your face. -Donāt threaten me with taking my daughter away.-
-Youāre about to walk out again. You already took her from me once. Si, yo fui un cabron, but you kept her from me. Iāve lost time with her.- Yes, I was as n asshole, but you kept her from me.
-What do you want, Pedri?- You asked annoyed as he took a few steps closer to you. The scowl on his face softened. For the first time in the whole night you look at his face, the details, realizing all of the moles you counted hundreds of times and the small scars were still there.
-Let me hold her.- He asked somewhat shyly. You looked over at Rosie who had stopped crying and was now smiling at Pedri. Pedri looked at her with endearing eyes. His heart was racing and felt like it was going to bust out of his chest any second.
It took everything in you to not turn around and run away. You held Rosie close to you for a few more seconds before handing her over to him. His chest fell in relief as soon as she was in his arms. He held her tight and Rosie rested her head on his chest. Pedri almost melted at her touch. Tears formed in his eyes, eventually beginning to fall down his face.
Pedri stood there holding her tightly against his body. His eyes were on her as he took in every detail of her.
You stood in front of the two and your heart felt like it was going to explode. Seeing Rosie in his arms was something you didnāt think would happen. Now that they were together their similarities were even more pronounced.
-She has your eyes.- You manage to say quietly. Pedri looked up at you and smiled. -And your dimples.-
-Well what is she like?- He asked minutes later as the three of you sat on the couch. Rosie still quietly sitting in Pedriās embrace.
-She doesnāt take no for an answer. She loves music and ā¦-
-And what?- He asked.
-And watching you play. I put on the BarƧa matches for her and she sits through them all.-
Pedri smiled. -Do you talk to her about me?-
You shook your head and looked at him. You had never seen him this defeated. He looked at peace with her in his arms but his expression showed the loss he was grieving at the moment. Over a year of Rosieās life, the pregnancy, her birth.
-My mother does, she thinks I donāt know but I do.-
The two of you remained silent for a few minutes. Pedri continued to look at Rosie while he gently caressed her little hand.
-You know, if you had told me you were pregnant I would have asked you to stay.- He said.
You didnāt look at him, instead focused your eyes on your hands. -You should have asked me to stay regardless. You should have shown me we were worth trying to fix, worth fighting for.-
-We were. Joder, we are.-
You shook your head as you began to choke up.
-Not anymore Pedri. You can see her. You can spend time with her. But please, donāt make us go through this again.-
Pedri looked up at you as he continued to hold on to Rosie. The way he had his arms around her body, in a gentle yet fierce way. Like he was never going to let her go now that he knew her.
-Youāre right. I donāt think Iāll ever be able to forgive you for keeping her away from me. For making me feel like shit for letting you go thinking you had found someone else. Because at least you had her and I had no one.-
