If You Can Guess My Gender Please Let Me Know

[thememedaddy]

[starvy]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to be someones lame ass boyfriend

[loveridden1999]

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

[featuringmarkhoppus]

[angelicguy]

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

[seaweed-station]

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

[thememedaddy]

[libraford]

Googled something about quick hydration and it suggested big jug of water, couple tbsp pickle juice, dash of lime juice.

Its surprisingly tasty????

[libraford]

Pleased to report that after a day of this i am not longer craving caper brine and my mouth is not dry as usual. There's some good suggestions in the notes too that I want to try.

-ancient roman posca: water, red or white wine vinegar, honey, salt, herbs (coriander, mint, thyme)

-switchel: water, ginger, vinegar, sweetener, lemon, salt

-ayran: yogurt, water, salt, mint

-Agua pepino: water, cucumbers, lime, sugar, optional mint.

[libraford]

I have been reminded of:

-shrub: vinegar, sida water, elderberry (or other berry), sugar.

[libraford]

I have now been informed of

-sekanjabin: honey, vinegar, mint, water.

[libraford]

"Wow, I wonder why this post was popular this week."

-sees the reports of the heatwave in Europe-

"... ah."

[thej0ry]

What would you do if you were scrolling through recommended tumblr posts and one was from someone you don't know and it was just a picture of your dad captioned "fucking hate this guy" and it had hundreds of notes

[meshugenist]

reblog it

[auramgold]

google how do i communicate consent without admitting i've ever desired anything in my life

[wosp-reactivated]

Christian babies have so far not found a purpose or use outside of baseball

[catchymemes]

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

You guys ever see a DNI that makes you break out into laughter and almost cry

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

If graphic design is your passion then !!! GET OUT !!! 🚫🚫👎‼️🥶🥶🚫

[gonzos-humansona]

Yesterday my little brother told me something very sweet and touching, that when he was a kid and had nightmares about monsters chasing him or whatever he would be able to end the nightmare by finding me in the dream and I would protect him by fighting off the zombies, or carrying him away. This is adorable, and makes me feel like the greatest older sibling in the world, but the hilarious thing is that when I was a kid I had nightmares of needing to save him from zombies and such. so many dreams where he was in trouble and I needed to save him. Like my nightmares began where his ended. Low key I think he mastered the ability to psychically transfer his nightmare to me as a child and I'm kind of annoyed with him.

[fellator]

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

[nessa007]

[sunbutch]

if you call women “females” i automatically do not trust or like you

[cryptic-crassulaceae]

you really wont like the military then buddy

[sunbutch]

jokes on you, i already hate the military

[bewbin]

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

[2006-honda-civic]

can i fucking help you?

[cognitohazardous]

if i were a pompous self-assured and kind of stupid art student at some california university i would make a 9/11 tribute consisting of a handful of photographs depicting two erect, vertical dicks side-by-side (probably cut because all my friends would be cut (more of an unintended circumstance but i would spin it to seem meaningful)) and successive photos would depict one of the penises during ejaculation proceeding to one and then both flaccid. and i would have some bit about the semen representing the lives lost during the event. someone would inevitably ask if i was making a statement on masturbation or contraception and i, in my kind of stupidity, wouldn't have considered that angle. i would get really indignant and try to fabricate something clever, maybe like "obviously not because I produced this sexually explicit work" and it would haunt me for the duration of my college career. Years later after I had graduated and found employment as a creative director at Coca-Cola or Google, and after one of the aforementioned friends had died in a drunk driving accident and the other had been imprisoned on charges of possession with intent to sell, I would realize that i could have claimed it as a commentary on American society possessing a revulsion to pornography and homosexuality equivalent to our feelings on anti-American terrorism. Still not very good, but that's why I'm working for Coca-Cola or Google.