hii welcome to my sideblog. i post the art from my main art blog @verfalne as well as a lot of other stuff i enjoy.
if you found this blog because you like my art, feel free to follow me here if you like! 🌌✨i enjoy sharing more about the things that matter to me and making friends and mutuals!! 🌻 i dont really like having to have separate blogs tbh lmaoo
ever just want to give up your own entire identity and just replace yourself with a fictional character because who fucking cares at this point , everything sux and it sux being you?
need to vent about something even though I think I'm the asshole in this scenario.
tl;dr i think i was scammed by someone pretending to be an animal rescue.
cw animal illness ?
I regularly donate to a struggling animal rescue in the Phillipines and I am friends with the owner on Facebook , and when they post donation requests on Facebook I usually reply 'donated!'
(ftr im a broke ND trans artist whom no one will hire so I can't spare much at all but my empathy is a little overloaded)
but this has resulted in several other animal rescues (mostly in the Phillipines) trying to add me as a friend on Facebook, and usually I decline them because I can see they run shelters and I genuinely can't afford to regularly donate to another shelter or see their aid posts
but I gave in and added the latest one as a friend and it went sideways
I just want to preface that I don't begrudge animal rescues doing absolutely whatever they have to to get food and meds for their animals. (eg I paid an urgent aid request in full when my rescue posted about it, but they messaged me asking if they could keep the post up to still get some donations and I was like of fucking course you can omg)
but kind of what happened is this new person messaged me asking if I can donate for their cats with distemper and parvo and I didn't open it until they started sending me Facebook calls that I didn't answer. eventually I replied saying "my friend forgive me I can only donate this once" and sent 50 aud (they sad reacted but thanked me)
and then I muted them. but I got another call the next day and saw they'd been messaging again asking for 170 Usd or something and had sent a PayPal money request because their cats were vomiting blood and uhhh
idk I kinda broke a bit (I know I'm the pathetic one because the pain these rescues go through is like 1000fold what I will feel) and had a stupid anxiety attack because I HAVE to help, I couldn't not help, but this was money we really didn't have and it's my job to be responsible with it.
so anyway after i finally calmed down I sent them the money (couldn't bear the thought if these animals on my conscience) and my dear ladywife messaged them for me to let them know we can't do this again and I think we blocked them after that on FB and PayPal
Paypal was like "this might be a scam" but from everything I could tell it was legit (I may have been completely wrong which also sucks) anyway I thought that would be the end of it
but the next day I get another Paypal money request for a larger amount from a man with. an email that looked like the name of the previous rescue so I blocked him as well
idk maybe scammers crawl these aid posts looking for a hyperempathy mook like me to take advantage of and yet...... I feel like I'd rather be wrong than not help?
but also we're more broke than usual rn which is my fault. I hate the guilt I feel if I don't donate (and even blocking that last guy, I'm like, are there cats that aren't alive anymore because I didn't help?) but I don't begrudge legitimate animal rescues doing what they need even if it requires a little emotional manipulation. like what is my anxiety attack and guilt compared to what they have to do to care for helpless creatures who suffer worse in developing nations that have poorer animal welfare laws in every way. maybe they were just fucking desperate
maybe it's cognitive dissonance somewhere. I'm supposed to find a way to help as much as I can while still taking care of myself, but their needs are far greater than mine.
that anxiety attack and experience fucked me up a bit. there's that "you can't pour from an empty cup" aphorism shit. but it's very difficult for me to find (and maintain) the balance.
idk why I typed all this shit out like people just like "well if you care about this why don't you care about this" and that's mostly why I don't do long personal posts anymore (like literally who cares) but oh well. off this goes into the ether and I have released it from me for a while.
"I think that for Hannibal, it was love at first sight. He found that young man so fascinating and he knew right there that he had a future with him somehow." -Mads Mikkelsen
i dont rly like to go out without shaving my facial hair but i Actually got gendered correctly by not shaving and that was a strange experience for me lol
very entranced and enamoured with this deeply mad rant post I read about leon kennedy erectile dysfunction and how physically impossible it would be for leon kennedy to have erectile dysfunction and how according to consulted medical and fitness experts erectile dysfunction is impossible for leon kennedy to have. if I am honest I cannot stop thinking of the improbable case of leon kennedys impossibly limp penis
Of the two Zooble is the most *agreeable* trans rep because they’re out from the get-go, funny, and are also largely considered morally acceptable in their actions.
