gay slut paradise

rory / 26 / they/it

[gaymarioo]

hi i’m rory, they/it, 26, and you want to kiss me on the mouth from my transsexual fag looks and autistic swag

[cyanocittae]

my friend keeps sending the groupchat voice notes of her eating bussy and calling it "asmr"..... bro go study for your physics exam 😭

[cyanocittae]

hi sorry uh. incredible miscommunication on my part lmfao.

my bad yall

[theehorsepusssy]

[ryebreadgf]

yayyyy

[jomiddlemarch]

[plentyblush]

They churned me, Jerry

[streetkit]

it does suck that the government defunded PBS but it's also so fucking funny that now that they don't take uncle sam's slavery dollars they're running videos like "How america's foundation was built on genocide"

no more being polite about it fuck the USA

[girldixieflatline]

[human-pet-they]

They’re adding soulslike elements to Grindr

[spadefish]

[gondorrevealparty]

duckduckgo Are camo pants secretly leftist or ironically fascist

duckduckgo Can pants be fascist

duckduckgo Most leftist type of pants

duckduckgo Camo bell bottoms

duckduckgo Will girls make fun of me at the gun range

duckduckgo When girls make fun of you is it good or bad

duckduckgo Are bell bottoms fascist

duckduckgo Is ironic fascism secretly leftist

duckduckgo Are pants fascist

[rioblitzle]

i go to the shop and I ask if they have any raspberries. they say no, they used to sell raspberries, but they haven't had any in stock in the last 15 years. I ask if there's somewhere else I can go to buy raspberries. They say no, with confidence and pride, they're the only shop around who has ever sold or will ever sell raspberries. Other shops might sell other fruit, sure, but they have a monopoly on all raspberries forever. I ask if they're possibly planning on them selling them again in future? they say they can't tell me that.

on the way home, I encounter someone eating raspberries. I ask and they tell me that they grow their own, they got some seeds from the shop back in The Raspberry Days and kept them. They take me to a field of many beautiful raspberry plants and invite me to pick my own, they're free for all the town to pick whenever they'd like.

someone comes up behind us. It's the shop manager, President of Nintendo Shuntaro Furukawa. he hatefully throws a bob-omb that blows up and kills both of us instantly for stealing 200 trillion dollars worth of potential Raspberry Shop That Doesn't Do Raspberries Anymore profits that they weren't making and then he turns around to the camera with a big thumbs up and says don't do piracy or something ok please

[terraswallows]

I was confused you see.

[hotcrossedfangs]

He listened to her ❤️

[joleneghoul]

[Courier voice] "An unemployed bisexual widow with crushing ocd/ptsd is exactly what my team I'm building to take the legion down needs, welcome aboard."

[youweremovingyourfeet]

Happy senator death day (not the one i was expecting)

[unadulteratedhideouttrash]

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

You have became this medieval role, how do you feel about it

you are in the medieval era and you have this role!

How do you feel?

great!! I love this

good!

It's okay

So bad. I hate this

This is similar to my real job!

Results/other

Remaining time: 4 days 7 hours

[devilishdescent]

you sit down at the plastic table because your partner likes being outside at the bar even though it’s 90 degrees and 60% humidity at 10pm and you thought this corduroy dress was soooo cute but now youre all sweaty and so one of your balls has escaped your panties but youre wearing fishnets so your loose nut is now dying like a sea turtle in a six pack ring and youre the desperate diver trying to save it but blind and one handed and stone faced cause you can’t draw attention to the fact that youre doing a high stakes wildlife rescue on your stupid scrotum in public because it might turn into a six month news cycle and desantis might fly out to personally bulldoze the bar. and its a thursday