Things Said To or About My Dog:
“KEEP YOUR BUTT TO YOURSELF!!”
“Did you just spit out your medicine?!”
“He acts like he’s never been fed in his life.”
“Stop having sex with inanimate objects!”
“He’d hurl himself into a volcano just to eat a French fry.”
“Don’t look at me like that!”
“Give me some room to breathe, would you?”
“Oh my god. Please tell me you didn’t eat that.”
“You just do the opposite of everything I say don’t you?”
“It doesn’t need a pulse for [NAME] to get busy with it.”
“Really? You’re gonna do that right now? We have company.”
“I’m telling you, you don’t want to eat this. You won’t like it.”
“Look how cute your butt is!”
“Just because you peed on it doesn’t mean it’s yours.”
“He brings his toys wherever he goes, then forgets and pees on them.”
“This idiot just ran into the middle of the street and almost got hit!”
“Why are you so out of breath?”
“Sorry, he’s kind of racist.”
“Why are you so antisocial? Can’t you get along with anyone?”
“Believe it or not, sniffing someone’s butt isn’t very polite.”
“It’s not time to play. It’s time to go to bed.”
“Just because you can’t sleep doesn’t mean you should wake me up.”
“What’s that in your mouth?”
“Oh, so now you’re ignoring me?”
“Look at that cute face!!”
“Just because it’s your birthday, doesn’t mean you can act like this.”
“Why is he running around like a lunatic?”
“You only eat under the table?”
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