Loving someone with an addiction truly fucks you up. In the beginning, he was perfect. I never knew he had a past with heroin. When he decided to tell me he had been clean for a year. 365 days. Sober. I decided he was worth the chance. If he had relapsed, it wasn't because he was weak. It would be choice. After a couple months together we found out we were expecting! Due April 2015. So excited, and nervous, we were both 22. This would be my second child and his first. Our families weren't happy at first but became excited quickly. From the day of the positive pregnancy test he said "it's gonna be a boy. He's gonna be a badass like his daddy. I can't wait to teach him guitar, music, and baseball". A few months later in December we learned it was a boy!! We were having a son! Joy quickly turned to heartbreak. As everything with my pregnancy was perfect, my relationship was not. On New Years morning I received a phone call from my boyfriends father. He said he caught him in bed with another woman. I was devastated. Weeks later I found myself learning more and more. He had relapsed on heroin, he was still cheating on me with a 37 year old woman with 7 kids, who 2 of them are our age. He became emotionally and verbally abusive towards me and had me kicked out of my moms. He would tell me to get an abortion or put the baby up for adoption. He left me at a McDonald's to go be with this woman. When he was with me, he was brutal. At one point I was in tears, begging him to not shoot up anymore, but he would make me watch him. It broke my heart every time. After weeks of abuse and cheating, I had enough. One night again he left me at a McDonald's and someone called the police. An officer arrived, got my information and say me down and just talked to me. Having very bad anxiety, I started contracting. He called my parents and called an ambulance. My dad came and picked me up and I went home. I stayed away from him. For the next 2-3 months I built my relationship back up with my family and also his. His family is amazing. They've been so supportive, as have mine. I had to build myself back up also. I felt so broken. April 19th came and I went into labor. Everyone was by my side except for the one person who should have been, my sons father. He was with his old girlfriend. My son was finally here. After 26 brutal hours of labor, on April 20th, he was here. He had a big family that loved him. Everything in that moment was perfect. Now, my son is 10 months old. His father is still not around, still with the same girl he left me for, and still on drugs. He doesn't see his son and hasn't been there when necessary. That's okay, because he has my family and his dad's family to love him. He has everything he needs and more. As for me, I have my 2 beautiful, healthy, perfect children. I feel great and stronger than ever.
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