untitled
Kiana Khansmith
Doug Jones
No title available
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
𓃗
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Cosimo Galluzzi
Not today Justin
pixel skylines
almost home
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
$LAYYYTER
Andulka
Product Placement
d e v o n
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Xuebing Du
gracie abrams
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Colombia
seen from Indonesia
seen from Nepal
seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Portugal
seen from Croatia
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh
seen from France
seen from United States
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seen from Bangladesh
edward nigma = e. nigma
yeah, yeah. he's slow on the uptake and his abs aren't even good enough to grate cheese. but how great is the pop-up on the bottom right? and how sad is it that after his visit, he didn't even message me.
I bet he makes house calls.
this is my new frequent visitor. not sketchy in the slightest.
I don't know if I'm more frightened by his profile pic/user name combo or the fact that OKCupid thinks we're a 92% match.
I feel a screenplay adaptation coming on...
I was going to respond back, but it appears Don Juan deleted his account once he found a pristine vagina to woo. married at 25, on the internet looking for a hygienic coochie at 32? classic case of the 7 year itch. perhaps in a more literal sense on the wife's side of things.
**tip of the day:
make a left handed fist, squeezing your thumb. say so long to your gag reflex. you can thank me later.
he's baaaaack.
remember Wilson? if not, let me direct you here. I thought he was "breaking up" with me a few weeks ago due to my severe lack of interest. I suppose that would have been too easy.
since I have never responded to a single message from Wilson (the count is now up to 7), this series of corresponding gif's most accurately portrays how I felt about the situation.
message #5
message #6
message #7
had you said "eaten" I might have considered it.
mixed messages
hungary for dick pic?
this shaft has been censored with the Hungarian Crest. you're welcome. if you were curious about Funtron's age, just count the wrinkle rings around his balls. yes, he really is 97.
at least we know he vacuums.
the only problem is my empty glass.
sit and spin doctors
somehow, I don't think he's a real doctor.
ps - pseudo practitioners get their usernames displayed in full.
not if I see you first.
Here is Buc with said faceless child. He was nice enough to masacre the kid's face with the smudge tool all on his own.
The best part? Shortly after the last message I sent (to which he never responded) he promptly changed his user photo to the one below.
I'm tempted to message him one last time to let him know he needs to brush up on his blurring skills. His friend still has more face left than that guy who was attacked by a naked zombie.
I'm really digging the username though. Classy.
this all just happened so fast!
I haven't responded to a single one of Wilson's messages. I think he's breaking up with me.
finally, a post suitable for minors.
seriously, Rich. this isn't Ashley Madison.
summer flingin' had me a blaaaast
Pictured below is my last "summer fling" (I've censored my face for fear of forever being associated with those bangs.)
We spent our summer days on a white Sandy beach in Mexico. Those summer nights? We'd look up at the planets discussing which one was our true origin. He'd go on and on about being from... Xena? Lucy Lawless wasn't available to confirm or deny.
Anyway, we ended up having a threesome with a masseuse at the resort. Name: Juan Carlos. The majority of the romp I was painting my nails and giving tight-closed-mouth-smiles whenever he'd look up searching my face for approval.
That being said, Chocorollo, I'm more down than Travolta was on that masseuse. The fact that you don't even have a profile picture isn't alarming at all.
You had me at Jewfro.
You, my friend, are a lyrical genius. You may want to reconsider your stage name though. Not sure if "Mouth Pipe" is really giving off the vibe you were intending.
Top 10 couples I would rather have a threesome with than some randoms from the internet.
I have a motto. Here it goes...
Make me feel like Sally Field, then you can do me in a field.