Gemma

[vinesnow]

[penis-hilton]

i tried jus one chili and it set my mouf on fawr and i had to drink a 2 liter of moun'n dü¨ª˙ÌÍ¥

[sw-or-gtfo-deactivated20211219]

my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator

my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency

they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”

and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”

and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”

“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”

“oh i’m having a heart attack”

my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes

like, “what is your emergency?”

“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”

“… is it… your blood?”

“yes i think so”

“do you know where it’s coming from?”

“probably the stab wound”

“have you been stabbed?”

“oh yah definitely”

[lizawithazed]

In all fairness shock is a hell of a drug

[bob-belcher]

[afrogay-deactivated20130525]

if i die my funerals gonna be the biggest fucken party and you’re all invited 

[aidn]

if

[14th2]

great, the only party ive ever been invited to and he might not even die

[dioynsus]

appreciation post for broccoli, thanks for bein so tasty u tiny trees

[dioynsus]

[mirlain-deactivated20161021]

the world will try to convince you that feelings make you weak, but fuck that. never let this cruel world steal your spark.

insp

[gemmaharsley]

anyone ever: It's getting hot in here.

my brain: ......so take off all your clothes ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

me: wtf why??? still? what year is it??????

[since1969]

[fyeahherminald-blog]

I DON’T EVEN CARE IF I’VE REBLOGGED THIS BEFORE

[rowling]

Its surreal because this entire generation can probably quote half of those movies word for word, and for them it’s like, ‘Oh I remember saying that line five years ago!’

[neilnevins-deactivated20240617]

hey tumblr remember the Puss in Boots movie

[baybop]

That last image might be the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen

[mycheeto-deactivated20171112]

what int he fuck

[s00005aa55yah-deactivated201308]

[sw-or-gtfo-deactivated20211219]

my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator

my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency

they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”

and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”

and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”

“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”

“oh i’m having a heart attack”

my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes

like, “what is your emergency?”

“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”

“… is it… your blood?”

“yes i think so”

“do you know where it’s coming from?”

“probably the stab wound”

“have you been stabbed?”

“oh yah definitely”

[lizawithazed]

In all fairness shock is a hell of a drug

[ifihadthewords]

[maleksrami]

Leonardo DiCaprio getting his Oscar engraved and making a Leo joke™ (x)

[kazmoloves63]

one last Leo has never won an oscar joke made by the man himself 

[certan]

Don’t drink and drive your dog won’t understand why you never came home

[skinxpapi]

Aw fuck damn my heart

[theonewheretheyblog]

[wannajoke]

[iguanamouth]

i havent shaved my legs in a really long time and while i was babysitting my skirt edged up a bit and the seven year old i was watching said “ew you should shave that hairs not supposed to be there” and i said “well if its not supposed to be there then why does it grow there?” and he was really silent for a long time and then finally said “lets watch sonic the hedgehog”

[level27rogue-deactivated2020112]

tumors grow, are they supposed to be there?

its called “evolution”, just because its there doesnt mean its useful or wanted.

[geekandmisandry]

Local Man Compares Leg Hair To Cancer, Genuinely Thought It Was A Smart Argument. More At Six.