I found my heart. Mike, oh my god, I found yours too. And it was still beating.
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@genderimpala
I found my heart. Mike, oh my god, I found yours too. And it was still beating.
To be aware you might be trans but unwilling to do anything about it is to create endlessly bigger boxes within which to contain yourself. When you are a child, that box might encompass only yourself and your parents. By the time you are a gainfully employed adult, that box will contain multitudes, and the thought of disrupting it will grow ever more unthinkable. So you cease to think of yourself as a person on some level; you think not of what you want but what everybody expects from you. You do your best not to make waves, and you apologize, if only implicitly, for existing. You stop being real and start being a construct, and eventually, you decide the construct is just who you are, and you swaddle yourself up in it, and maybe you die there. There is still time until there isn’t.
This reading of TV Glow’s deliberately anticlimactic, noncathartic ending cuts against the transition narrative you typically see in movies and TV, in which a trans person self-accepts, transitions, and lives a happier life. Owen gets trapped in a space where he knows what he must do to live an authentic life but simply refuses to take those steps because, well, burying yourself alive is a terrifying thing to do. The transition narrative posits a trans existence as, effectively, a binary switch between “man” and “woman” that gets flipped one way or another, but to make our lives so binary is to miss how trans existences possess an inherent liminality.
Humans’ lives unfold in a constant state of becoming until death, but trans people are uniquely keyed in to what this means thanks to the simple fact of our identities. You can get lost in that liminality, too, forever trapped in a midnight realm of your own making, stuck between what you believe is true (I am a nice man with a good family and a good job, and I love my life) and what you know, deep in your most terrified heart of hearts, is real (I am a girl suffocating in a box).
And yet if you want to read the film as being about the dangerous allure of nostalgia, you’re not wrong. I Saw the TV Glow totally supports that interpretation, too! But in tempting you with that reading, the film creates a trap for cis viewers that will be all too familiar to trans viewers. Somewhere in the middle of Maddy’s story about The Pink Opaque being real, you will make a choice between “This kid has lost it!” and “No. Go with her, Owen,” and in asking you to make that choice, TV Glow is simulating the act of self-accepting a trans identity.
See, the grimmer read of the film’s ending truly is a nihilistic one. It leaves no hope, no potential for growth, no exit. Yet you must actively choose to read that ending as nihilistic. If you are cis and the end of I Saw the TV Glow left you with a gnawing sense of dissatisfaction, a weird but hard-to-pin-down feeling that something had broken, and a melancholy bordering on horror — congratulations, this movie gave you contact-high gender dysphoria.
In an infinite number of possible universes, there is at least one where I am still living “as a man,” embracing my fictionality, avoiding looking at how much more raw and real I feel when I “pretend” to be a woman. I think about that guy sometimes. I hope he’s okay.
Consider, then, my cis reader, that TV Glow is for both you and me, but it is maybe most of all for him. I hope he sees it. I hope he breaks down crying in the bathroom afterward. I hope he, after so many years locked inside himself, hears the promise of more life through the hiss of TV static.
Emily St. James, “I Saw the TV Glow’s Ending Is Full of Hope, If You Want It to Be,” Vulture. June 4, 2024.
i think that's what i saw the tv glow did honestly.
that moment when you're watching it as a trans person, and every cell in your body is begging her to not stop, to not run away, please please please. you need to see it more than you've needed anything. and then she does. she sees everything inside herself in a bathroom all alone where we've all been, and she closes it all up, her emaciated and sickly body barely holding her up, and she walks back into an arcade room apologizing for her outburst to a building full of people who refuse to see or hear her.
and then you realize, while your chest feels like it might just cave in under the pressure, that this film refused to afford you the relief of seeing someone else do what you must, to give you that false and fleeting pressure eased. no. if you want this film to have a good ending, you have to make it yourself. you have to do what she could not, because otherwise, well. you just saw your future.
Mike Wheeler Birthweek 2026
April 4th: Hidden Hobbies
Chef Mike anyone? Ft. The Party
Mike had a cooking phase (with a lot of fails) but once he was confident about his skills he would make The Party try some of his dishes :3
diva down
it was brought to my attention (by me) I never drew girl miwi and this canon event in every saphhic's life came to mind
Thinking about how Mike jumped where they found Will's fake body.
noah didn't even need to confirm that mike would have explored. i watched with my own eyes mike wheeler putting in vampire fangs and saying he'd bite will. that boy was already exploring.
dare i say. dustin and lucas both arguing over who will had a crush on. both think its themselves. mike asks if it could be him. lucas says no way definitely not. mike is hurt and asks why. lucas says "because he said it wasn't requited and the guy wasnt gay,"
mikes brain then produces a singular thought.
"mike would've explored"
girl he had already done his research plotted his course and packed his bags be so fr
yesterday i had a nice southern teenager call me "ma'am" and then look at me and go, in a well-meaning tone, "uhhhh, if you go by ma'am. sorry if not." and i had to be like yeah man ma'am is fine. appreciate you being inclusive though. i could almost see the little warning pop up in his UI-- hold up! people with blue hair often have pronouns. are you sure you want to address this individual with a gendered term?
door one: you take your own life
door two: you accept your fate
door three: you escape
Will occasionally gets postcards in the mail.
No name. No address. No matter where he is.
Always of art.
Postcards of paintings from all around the world.
He likes researching them and learning about the artist, what the paintings mean, where the paintings hang now.
He knows she wouldn’t be there if he went, but he still looks into the cities that the galleries are in. Reading about the history and imagining her telling him about it. Imagining her exploring. Learning. Existing freely.
He doesn’t tell anyone because he knows she trusts him not to. Trusts him to not try and find her.
He likes to think she still checks in with him as occasionally the meaning or subject of a painting will hit too close to home with him and whatever the current thing that was bothering him.
He wishes he could write back. Wishes he knew how to check on her as she checks on him.
But since everything ended, his powers lay dormant. Only evidence they still exist are the small ‘electrical faults’ that are perfectly timed with big emotions and always end in a nose bleed.
Yeah so I made a new tumbler just to promote a lawless Byler fanfic I wrote.... please dont let this flop im shy and nervous 👉🏼👈🏼
Summary:
“Why’d you stop?” Will whines, hands going to cup Mike’s face to bring him back to the moment.
Before he can change his mind, Mike reaches over to the nightstand and picks up the vibrating phone. He turns it so Will can take a look for himself and see the caller ID. “It’s Carlton.”
Will’s hands drop. He groans, “Please don’t bring him up right now. I’ll block him later.”
A grin spreads on Mike’s face, shocking Will at the odd reaction but what Mike says next makes his jaw drop. "No, no. Why don’t you answer it?”
“You want us to stop fucking so I can answer his call?” Will inquires, tremendously bewildered at the suggestion.
Mike’s smile diminishes into something more taunting, his irises twinkling with mischievous excitement. Will’s stomach drops.
“Oh, baby. Who said anything about stopping?”
He tilts the phone so they can both watch as Mike presses down on the green button with his thumb, sliding it across the screen to answer the call.
Mike hands him the phone and harshly thrusts back into him.
Or,
Will's shameless coworker, Carlton, doesn't know how to stay in his lane. Mike teaches him a lesson by fucking Will during a phone call.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Zelda tries to prank Link, not considering how a traumatized knight might react to being stabbed by really the only person he has left to care about
the answer is not good
Henderhop is an amazing contrast to lawless Byler while Mike and Will are having intense sex in Wills bedroom El and Dustin are a few feet away holding hands or making friendship bracelets.