a/n: I really love 500 days of summer...
But walks in and is very impressed
Keeps talking your ear off about how well it’s designed
“I really love the layout - they definitely did their research.”
“Who was on their product management team? I should give them a call sometime.”
Even impressed by the food.
“Hey can we hire these people for Wayne Enterprises?”
Ends up talking to the manager about buying the store
“Hey, are you guys interested in selling this by any chance?”
Just let the Swedish man make bright happy furniture in peace ok
Probably collabs with the guy and makes a Bruce Wayne furniture collection
Feels like he’s on a movie set
“Honey, dinner is ready!”
Yeah sure like Dick Grayson even knows what a spatula looks like
“Oh wow you didn’t burn the kitchen down this time”
Will sit on every single bed
“Dick you can’t jump on the bunk bed!”
Loves to imagine every room is somewhere in your apartment together
Doesn’t matter where cause he always feels at home with you
“Um honey, why is there a family in our bathroom?”
Definitely pushes you around the warehouse in the shopping carts
Trips to Ikea are totally somewhere on your top ten dates
Doesn’t know why more places don’t do this
“They would definitely get higher customer satisfaction!”
Checks out the beds cause he got to make sure they got a good bounce ;)
“See? They know how to please their customers.”
You pretend you’re not there together
Later you realize he’s not with you anymore and have to search the whole store for him
“Hi, have you seen this man? He’s 6 foot 4 and very attractive but scary, yes he has this resting bitch face and I love him”
Find him asleep on one of the beds
“Come on Jay, let’s go home.”
“Ok, but can we buy this bed?”
Runs for that coffee first
Doesn’t leave the cafeteria for a solid twenty minutes
“I have to get my money’s worth!”
Finally lets you drag him around the store
UNTIL HE GETS TO THE DESKS
“HOLY COW THIS DESK CAN GO UP AND DOWN”
Keeps playing with the buttons
“This is so much healthier than sitting all day - omg Bruce needs one in the batcave!”
“Cool can you find one in black?”
jesus tim if you want to be healthier stop drinking all that coffee and actually sleep
Loves the computer chairs
“Wow these are so comfortable”
Goes around the store with his hands clasped behind his back pretending he’s in a museum or art gallery
“Well, this color is a bit too dark; see, humans tend to release more dopamine when they see a lighter blue”
Now you have to start dragging him out of the store
Definitely on top of that building shit at home though
Doesn’t even have to look at the manual
Kind of confused why everyone is so obsessed until he gets there
Freezes when he sees the whole display area
“Beloved we have to buy this whole set for our living room!”
This dude is really into designing and art
Planning out your entire apartment while scanning all of the room’s
Calculating the area of all of the furniture and wall space
“Damian we haven’t even moved in together yet”
Ready to throw hands when he sees the cow rugs
“THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE I ACTUALLY LIKED THIS STORE”
You have to hold him down because he’s about to lose it
Finally calms down when you buy him a succulent
Alfred trys the food and is just like what?
They thought this Rösti was better than my potato fritters?
Judging everyone who loves to eat there
“Some of you have never eaten my food and it shows”
