the comeback kid @gentlethorns - Tumblr Blog

thinking . .. thoughts. what if i start a literary magazine. what then

FUCK IT LOL i did it. Flash & Dazzle is now live!

#she bork #2026 #literary magazine #lit mags #i fawking did it. crazy work

FINALLY finally finally watched true detective season one. i forgot matthew mcconaughey was more than a romcom love interest

#she bork #tv #true detective #rust will be w me forever actually. always in my heart

fuck dude i gotta lock IN. i'm prediabetic again BUT ALSO i asked my bf how hard i need to lock in relative to like how soon he's proposing and all he said was "...lock in 🤫." like what!!!!!!! so now i'm like oh fuck okay cutting sugar hitting protein goals going on walks doing workouts. need to go grocery shopping so that we can start cooking healthier foods and i need to buy vegetables i can snack on. bc by the time i get proposed to i will be HOT idc

#she bork #tbd #ahhhhhhhh FUCK GOTTA LOCK IN

i think the only person in the world who understands pain the way i do is jenny holzer. she gets it

#she bork #jenny holzer #holzer #like pain as an agent of change / pain as a catalyst / pain as something shiny and not inherently bad but incredibly powerful. pain as #something intimate and unknowable. she knows

flashanddazzlemag

DOG DAYS: WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR.

Simply put, for Flash & Dazzle's second issue, we're looking for work about dogs. However, to elaborate:

- TALES OF INNOCENCE. Oftentimes, dogs represent innocence. Whether you think of your childhood hound or a friendly stray, we want your stories of naïveté (and/or its death).

- TALES OF LOYALTY. Dogs are often loyal to a fault. Where has your loyalty been well-earned? Where has your loyalty been poorly given?

- TALES OF LOSS. Dogs' lives are so much shorter than ours. Such love ends in such loss; it transcends description. But try to describe it anyway.

- TALES OF REDEMPTION. Lost dogs find their way home. Lonely people find companions in their canines. How have dogs redeemed you?

Submissions are open until May 15 via our Linktree.

#btw submissions are open!#flash & dazzle #she bork #tbd

sigh i don't talk about this super often anymore bc my health issues have largely been treated effectively but goddamn my body is in bad condition lol. and it saddens me as someone who used to be an athlete and used to push myself physically (to a healthy degree). like yeah, i've found treatments that enable me to function, but i'll never be seventeen and running a 7.5 minute mile or diving to dig a serve, rolling, and popping back up, ever again. and bc now i suspect that i'm actually hypermobile and may have eds, those are feats i'll likely never accomplish again

#she bork #tbd #just sucks lol bc i'm not in the right condition for it and idk how i'd even get there without inuring myself lol but i really miss being a #part of team sports. i would love to do volleyball at an adult club or something. bc i feel like a big part of why i struggle to #consistently exercise and lose weight is bc movement feels like a chore bc i'm doing it just to do it/for the health benefits. which doesn't #negate its necessity but i think i'd have a way easier time if the focus was somewhere other than the act of exercising. but again idek how #i would get back to that point of conditioning without injuring myself so i guess it's a pipe dream 😌#sorry lol i just watched season two of cheer (the netflix documentary) and also earlier today i did workout and i BARELY exercised my #shoulders (i did some planks) and now my traps and neck are so stiff and keep cramping and i can hardly move. so those two things in combo w #one another just makes me think about how poorly my body functions now. like i said bc of medication and occasional physical therapy (i #stopped going last year but tbh i probably need to go back again) i can live my daily life but it makes getting to and staying at a healthy #weight so difficult. bc if i can't exercise then the only other option is to starve myself and i'm not doing that. so

man lol media literacy has just gone down the fucking shitter tbh. like sometimes idek about being a writer bc people don't understand anything but fucking pre-k level slop anymore. sorry if that sounds pretentious but the idea of writing something and releasing it to the world just for it to be scorned bc it's above most people's comprehension makes me want to rip my hair out

#she bork #read a decently-written short story on threads where the cab of a truck was mentioned as in like 'i got in my truck and drove. the silence #in the cab was deafening.' and MULTIPLE people were like 'oh inconsistency! if he's in a truck then why is he in a cab? 🤨🫢 point and laugh'#and it's like no you fucking idiot try reading a book sometime. sorry you missed your vocab tests in elementary school lol. idk i lose faith #every single day including in my ability to do what i want to do w my life for reasons both internal and external. and this is one of them

flashanddazzlemag

Flash & Dazzle's inaugural issue is now available to download here!

#!!!!!#she bork #flash & dazzle

flashanddazzlemag

Big news:

Flash & Dazzle’s inaugural issue, “Convenience Store Quarterly,” will release digitally on Tuesday, April 7!

I know the process of this issue’s construction has not been widely advertised here, but unfortunately life has come at me fast recently and I have been more focused on doing the work than discussing it. However, it’s paid off – I’m really proud of what I have made (in tandem with our incredible contributors, who are named above, on the issue’s back cover) and am so excited to share with our audience.

When the issue is live, you’ll hear about it here first! Until then, have a happy holiday weekend. (And if you want to stay entirely up-to-date on Flash & Dazzle news, I tend to be more active on F&D’s Instagram or Tiktok.)

#she bork #flash & dazzle #my magazine 🫦 super excited about this issue!!! looks and feels great to have a finished product!!!!

introspective tonight. thinking of who i am and who i used to by and why the latter is better than the former. diminishing returns

#she bork #tbd #can't write anymore look ugly have no friends my dog's getting older my grandma's going senile. decay decay decay

seventeen going under by sam fender has one of the strongest lyrical starts i've ever heard. "i remember the sickness was forever / i remember snuff videos." love that line

#she bork #music #sam fender #truly it evokes being 17 so well. like the sickness WAS forever. i DO remember snuff videos.

novel update, not going super well lol. like, it is, bc i have one more chapter to go according to my outline. but i've been super inconsistent w my words bc my heart is not in it. it's very short (technically not even a novel, it's sitting at like 33k words rn and i'm not sure my last chapter will bridge that last 7k words to actually make it a novel) and ik edits are gonna be crazy bc i feel like i've phoned it in a LOT. but once i finish the first draft (hopefully this week) i'll take like a month off to focus on other stuff (exercising consistently and releasing the first issue of my magazine) and then come back and hopefully shine it up

#she bork #novel 2026 #aaaagggghh ik no writing is wasted bc no matter what you're practicing and creating but i really #hope this wasn't just a waste of my time. :)

just got my first query response - a rejection. pour one out

#she bork #novel 2024 #pain and suffering but it's fine we're fine

btw, i did in fact finish my outline last night and start drafting my second novel today!!!! shitting myself lol

#she bork #novel 2026 #this one feels a little different . .. but it's fully plotted (w a few fuzzy spots that i can fill out as i go along) and we'll see where it #goes. 2k a day as always and it'll get me where i need to go #sorry in advance bc yall know i won't shut the fuck up until it's finished. :D

gentlethorns

plotting another novel???????

gentlethorns

and what's crazy about this one is this time i went LOOKING for inspiration. i set out with the purpose of conceptualizing my next novel, looked through my inspo tag, and found something that set me off. which is revolutionary to me in the same way that plotting out my first novel was revolutionary to me. turns out i don't have to wait for inspiration to steal me away - i can hunt it

#she bork #novel 2026 #!!!!!!!!!!!!! getting that squirmy feeling in my gut that tells me i have something alive wriggling in my hands. delicate and fickle but #alive.

plotting another novel???????

#she bork #AHHHHHHH maybe maybe maybe. we shall see. but it's looking good (knock on wood).#novel 2026 #<- tentative tag lol. hopefully this momentum builds and i'll keep using it

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS:

- if i feel stagnant or like i'm doing nothing, DO SOMETHING. this is probably my biggest one. i feel awful and stuck and hopeless at least once a month (damn you menstruation) and i'm tired of doing nothing but crying and bitching about it, bc yes hormones play a part, but if hormones provoke the same feelings and concerns over and over, clearly it's not JUST the hormones. i've started on this one by starting my literary magazine and by starting to send cold queries to agents about my novel (gulp).

- seek/foster connection. i feel lonely a lot of the time bc my bf and i don't see each other as often as we used to due to opposing schedules, a lot of my friends now live out of town, and the friends i do have in close proximity are more introverted/have their own shit going on and don't want to hang multiple times a week (or even once a week sometimes). i'm starting by trying to build a better community for myself online and trying to connect more w the people i already know, and i hope to then extend into finding new in-person spaces (writing circles, clubs, etc.).

- get fit. this one is taking a backseat for the time being bc i'm so focused on writing/career-centric stuff but i do at some point need to lock in about it bc this may or may not be the year i get a ring lol and when it happens i need to be hot

- pay down my credit card. i'm not like CRAZY crazy in debt but my balance is at an uncomfortable level for me and i need to get it to a more manageable level. ideally i'd like to pay it off completely but i fear that may not be a timeline that realistically fits entirely into the 2026 calendar year

#she bork #2026 #lol not these resolutions being late as fuck lol but these are my focuses for the year

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