Show & Tell

[gepoht]

There was a time when I was into foods that were proxies for the original. Substitute meat, substitute sugars, substitute everything.

I thought it was better for me.

But now, I'm more inclined towards the most authentic version of itself. The real thing. Because the real thing, when unfettered with the additives and weird preservatives, is pretty amazing.

Like have you ever tasted a real tomato? It's vibrant and quizzically meaty. A real lemon? Sweet whilst still being edgy with tartness.

And maybe this near simultaneous realization and transition can be extrapolated to more. If not, that's okay, too.

[gepoht]

The mind matching the heart matching the mind. Sometimes it's about not missing the bold print, not the fine print. All that is meant for one is to find one. Sunglasses with personality. It's so crazy to me how I used to hate peanut butter... and tomatoes... and beans!!! April, I'm ready to put you in the rearview mirror so bad. Those words must have been an impeachable offense, no???? Off white/white jeans. The time of musicians with lyrics that are on point. Museum craving. Let's be humble experts. Más piercings. Dyson Air Wrap or nahhhh. Am I developing ADD? lol Can we talk about Jack Harlow's transition to semi-lo-fi?

[gepoht]

March 17, 2026

The last thing I thought I'd do today is cry. I mean truly, the very last thing. But I guess grief has a way of percolating to the surface as tears even when you really thought it was dealt with and squared away. Yet here I am, pressing a towel against my eyes to absorb this melancholy.

And it's so... funny, how my nephew entered this earth today. The very day you did, years ago. It feels so unbelievably twisted right now, but in time, maybe I'll see it as a blessing, and as even more time goes on, maybe I won't see it anymore at all.

I only wish you the happiest birthday. Full of comfort and love and an awakening sense of newness. To only the brightest days and future ahead--

[gepoht]

Is Manhattan Beach the new Abbott Kinney? The warmth and gratitude floating inside me to be able to give in that way. I want to take my parents to eat at the Ritz in London and I want to take the kids to somewhere pastoral and oceanic. Obscene amounts of tea. Earpods FOUND. Looking forward to these new reads. 90's blowout seems to be my proxy for healthy hair to a fault and maybe it's time for a new haircut, maybe not, maybe yes. Spring approaching. Clean looks. Benophie5ever. Affable, available, able... Top Jaw. I wish to be in Europe so badly, so viscerally. A gallon of iced matcha please.

[gepoht]

A meal with 엉클. Hawaii, Canada, Europe, ?Sea Ranch?, Japan, redwoods. Baby blue, steel blue. I will neeeeever get over how the kids organically reach for my hands when we're out and about; given that I’m almost always outnumbered, I always always wish I had more hands to hold on to each of their's. The rabbit hole of the Young and European series most impressed upon me how they're all so grateful to live where they do. Continuing my quest to get stronger. Finally simmering down on the Korean dramas... because I'm turning it up on the period pieces ahem BRIDGERTON SEEZUN 4. Still living with the consequences of having my Burt's Beeswax chapstick in the laundry. How'd I go from 4+ Sonos speakers to 1. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT IS CHO CHANG!!! Lentils on toast is my druuuug. Hot showers and dance breaks as therapy. Winter Olympics, Superbowl, and Valentine's Day goodies. Must return to the books. I just want to be the very best in my craft I can be and that is my prime focus. Chanel.

[gepoht]

The tit for tat that can be had and the minute nuances that flux in significance aren't what I want to dwell on.

I knew I prized the friendship but I'm being reminded regularly that it was my pearl, the nucleus of what I held dear. Not being able to press send on reflexive messages about odds and ends of things... well, it's been kind of surreal and while not cognizant minute-by-minute, my body seems to be. My skin of all things has been violently reacting to it, as if it's caught an illness. Which, surprisingly, I almost did as well. Funny how I've had to be vigilant and fend off impending sickness not from being in multiple plane rides with virus-ridden passengers, not from squirming past the dense sardine can of Europe during the holiday flu season, not from working a series of sleepless 28+ hour shifts, but the deep heartbreak realizing that perhaps I was alone in wanting to preserve one of, if not the most, consistent friendships I've ever had.

And I'm most aware that I wasn't the best companion someone could have. Over the last five years especially, I've become increasingly self-absorbed and the last half year has been dominated by work with no foreseeable reprieve. So in some ways, I think, lucky you, you've really made it out of something that wasn't the best you deserved. But it still doesn't change that I miss my friend.

I just miss my friend.

[gepoht]

On 2025

Did I really skip reviewing 2024? Yes, I did.

Ohhh 2025, what a year of faith. Faith that there was provision both in the "meanwhile" and awaiting ahead, that there was good on the other side, and that perhaps the thinning line between me and God was still intact. And boy oh boy did God deliver big time.

Capping it off with a multi-year yearned for trip to England was quintessentially good. I still have overwhelming gratitude about the experience and the conviction that it's first class or bust for these international trips. The extravagant imbibition of history and art pointed out how much of the well-roundedness I'd kind of lost while focusing on my craft and revived the desire to be fluent, though humbly not expert, in the arc of history and the arts.

I keep saying 2026 doesn't start for me until Monday the 5th, when I return to work. And the spirit of the new year really does begin tomorrow. Yet with it comes a little timidity. For the last decade, I've received a word each year that hasn't failed to actualize. This year's is so hard to swallow but it's been paired with a verse that offers both balance and meaning, and encouragement to pray ever more fervently for the miraculous to co-exist with the challenge of the word.

[gepoht]

I'm perpetually being reminded of the word intentional, yet equally as often not acting on it. Masseter botox, please and thank you. Rosalía, your new album is not pop, it is otherworldly and beautiful, and please accept that. You gotta really want a pomegranate to go through the labor of extracting all of those little seeds. Vintage John Mayer and Jessie Ware. To become less self-absorbed. This whole getting dark at 5pm thing is not it, but on the bright ha side... ~holiday season~. Patrick Ta's She's That Girl is yes core. Pumpkin and cinnamon everything. Gosh I really really miss the kids. Time to buckle up!!! Craving pizza. Just think, T-1 month. T-1 MONTH. T-1 MONTHHHHH. Good books, good shows, good times. Tailored pieces, long lasting purchases. The uptick in prayers about health.

[gepoht]

Book Review Haikus 86-91

Babel by R.F. Kuang

Italy purchase Diligent, vigilant prose Though not really sold

Divine Rivals by Rebecca Ross

It's like The Fourth Wing But with prose that feels Y.A. Imaginative

Ruthless Vows by Rebecca Ross

Ruthlessly lengthy The writing was somewhat meh Glad it's all over

Heartless Hunter by Kristen Ciccarelli

Finished it too soon Am I a young teen at heart? Yay fantasy reads

Rebel Witch Kristen Ciccarelli

My obsessive traits showing Read in place of tv shows It's all the same though

Inner Excellence by Jim Murphy

Needed to read this Might be worth reading again Orbiting Jesus

[gepoht]

"Hailey's Comet" was just about the perfect song to use for that ending (!!!!!!!) and now I'm totally, completely, helplessly obsessed. I know I made the right choice. Everlane jeans are impressive in their perfection. Closing the gap means being more consistent. Dear winter travel. Lunging into generosity. A sense of normalcy. Homecooked meals and a shower go a long way and it makes me think about those who don't have a place to call home or access to what we qualify as simple and maybe it's the simple things that color and warm the definition of human dignity. This whole toasted sesame seed rolls craze is valid, yes sir. I'm here for this Pamela Anderson and Liam Neeson togetherness. Lord, help me.

[gepoht]

It makes no sense and so much sense at the same time. I can't believe I fell into the vest trend. Adidas Samba Janes. The humor and dare I say cunning of the Lord still tickles me. To be who God called you to be and no one else! Does the bob calleth? Copenhagen taught me that cities can be designed for citizens to make good choices and that quite frankly, American cities are largely constructed for unhealthy, perhaps even lethal, decisions. It was also shocking to return and, as if for the first time, see how truly and stunningly pervasive corpulence is. A list of things for this year's birthday hehe. The garlic and black pepper almonds from Trader Joe's are addiiiiicting. Would it feel different if this was elsewhere? Everyone's in Italy. The power of a good chili oil is borderline profound. Let it slide off. Giving people their flowers. The story of Joseph. That peak state where there are no split thoughts, no kinked feelings, no internal discomfort, only certainty that when the words I trust You are said, they're wholly true. It's interesting but moreso disappointing and heartbreaking to see what happens when the times get rough. Short chain fatty acids. A love that is of utmost intimacy.

[gepoht]

The only thing that seems to really make sense this year is Dua Lipa's Chanel ad. Health is more time with the kids, it's energy, it's a life force, it's the ability to be lucid and level-headed, it's a wealth that can't be given but easily taken away, it's the strength that flows, not trickles. The person I've become over the last four years isn't the person I once was, which would be fine, if it wasn't for the simultaneous truth that it isn't who I want to be either. Well, that really didn't work out. I've learned the most about humanity. Regenerative farming. I don't want to play the game, I want to tune in and manifest the Jesus way. Yes, let's try a spray tan. Dual citizenship aspirations and summer in Europe dreams. An outpouring of Your spirit. Inner Excellence is so drenched in fundamental Christian tenets that it feels like plagiarism. Tea, santal 33, letting go and making space, trust. It's only Wednesday and the fluctuation since Sunday is humbling.

[gepoht]

My tolerance and immunity towards pastries, carbs, and dairy in Europe really makes me wonder what poison is in American counterparts. Also, they do vegan cheeses SO much better there--how sly and quirky is that. The amount of personality and love in the kids is a treasure. There's no other way to describe this rendition of "Shout to the Lord" other than heavenly. Maybe I’m not as comfortable in my own skin as I’d previously thought or like to think. It's peeling myself away from the true but limiting thought cycle of what could have been better said in retrospect. Perhaps this is what is was, when I sensed the tides changing. Strength. I don't like who I am without You. Community, community, community. Help me, Jesus. Sweat it out. For special days, you eat special things. Spy thrillers but episodically paused and fast-forwarded, then rewound to watch again in real time after ensuring nothing scary's happened OR played on mute with my eyes covered over everything but the captions. So... Inner Excellence?

[gepoht]

Book Review Haikus 82-85

Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel

I was team John Brown Surrounded my aromas Sprung from page to page

The Friar and the Cipher by Lawrence and Nancy Goldstone

Informative is How I'll remember this one And thesis delayed

Beyond Ivy Walls by Rachel Fordham

Finished to finish Sometimes closed an eye and cringed Maybe for the young

Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders

Cried way too early! Magnificent, heartbreaking True triumphant prose

[gepoht]

Thankful Thursday 228

The generously kind librarian who has come through for me twice now.

[gepoht]

The October cycle was one for the books and maybe it was the turmeric easing some of the November PMS. London, Cotswold, Oxford, and mostly any place in England. Soup season! Lord, I pray. The power of protein. I still think this $10 milk frother's the best purchase I've made in a long while. That personality of inquisitiveness, knowledge, rumination, and appreciation. I've wanted to watch Wicked since its trailer release, but the unnecessarily incessant marketing almost dims my interest. Still Twisters! Lying by omission is still lying. The DGAF is so strong that I wonder if it's actually burn out. When will I learn once and for all that Candy Crush is never the move. Gotta fix this right MCPJ and arm. To stay close to my lifeline, Christ.

[gepoht]

Book Review Haikus 77-81

The Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros

Indulgent teen read Catalyst to read again Jaw dropped at the end

The Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros

Prose became quite dull A gnawing finish cut deep 2025

The Pearl by John Steinbeck

A tragic detox Though the end is perhaps known The truth still pained me

The Crucible by Arthur Miller

Ask, already read? Our humanity History repeats

Fates and Furies by Lauren Goff

Every now and then Prose that cut like sharp razors Furies more than fates