guess what, itâs time for an all-new exciting episode of Weird Biology! today weâre investigating this lovely flower that I just found. it was just sitting innocently on a tree branch and itâs a lovely shade of pink, so I-
what the fuck. lemme justâŠ
aaand it just stabbed me in the finger. sorry folks, turns out we arenât dealing with a flower at all! itâs the frilly, fashionable master of disguise,
AHA! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG! STAB!
the first westerner to describe the Orchid Mantis in 1879 (a journalist from Australia) thought he was seeing a moving, carnivorous flower! obviously he was wrong, as flowers absolutely donât do that! ha ha! (the point is, itâs an easy mistake to make. especially if youâre a journalist from 1879.)
the Orchid Mantis is a perfect flower mimic, with a dazzlingly sinister sense of fashion.
the Orchid Mantis is found in the rainforests of Southeast Asia, from Malaysia to Thailand. they are small and delicate, covered with High Femme pastel frills that conceal their deadly mantid forelegs. (mostly. itâs like seeing the outline of a switchblade under a fancy skirt.)Â
females grow to be about 3 inches long, while males barely reach half that. they range in color from delicate pinks to lacy purples to eggshell white to that obnoxious pale yellow you only see in Easter decorations.
and except for the giant alarming eyeballs, they look exactly like, well. orchids.
THE BETTER TO SEE YOU WITH, MY DEAR.
like all praying mantids, the Orchid Mantis is a carnivore who feasts on the flesh and possibly souls of lesser insects. but with their fantastically flamboyant fashions, how are they supposed to hunt? well, the answer probably wonât surprise you!Â
because the Orchid Mantis looks so much like a flower, the pollinators come to it. butterflies, bees, moths, you name it. they buzz in, thinking theyâll get a mouthful of nectar and some pollen like good buggy citizens. and what does the Mantis do when these well-meaning helpful friends show up?
THE BETTER TO STAB YOU WITH, MY DEAR.
also like all praying mantids, the Orchid Mantis worships the silent gods of Slice nâ Dice. when a delicious butterfly or bee bumbles too close, the Mantis promptly stabs the fuck out of it with a lightning-fast strike, and chows down.
in other words, theyâre three inches of Death Metal contained under a thin veneer of tea party.
maybe a tea party where the hostess stabs you in the chest.
when they arenât victimizing kind and helpful insects who only wanted to see a cool flower, the Orchid Mantis goes about the business of continuing the species. since adults only live about 8 months in the wild, this is more of an urgent matter than you would expect.
because Orchid Mantises are pretty rare and not studied often, weâre not actually sure how the deed is done in the wild. (IâM FINE WITH THAT.) if itâs anything like captive breeding programs, most of the dudes just get straight-up eaten. the Orchid Mantis lady is in complete and terrifying control of the situation, and often prefers a snack to the gentle embrace of a lover.
mantids are just kind of like that.
if the dude mantis is successful in his efforts, the lady mantis will then go off and lay 50-100 eggs clustered on a stem surrounded by a gross protective foam. in 5 to 6 weeks, the baby mantises will emerge and begin eating each other immediately.
seriously though, the babies (which look like itty-bitty adults) are red and black when they hatch. they disperse rapidly into the underbrush, at least the ones who donât get cannibalized by a sibling. (that was real. did you think that wasnât real?)
in a few weeks, the babies will molt and grow out of their Goth phase, emerging in the true High Femme style of their parents.
WE WILL NEVER SLEEP! âCAUSE SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK!
because Orchid Mantises are so rarely seen, weâre not actually sure how theyâre doing in the wild. it is believed that they are under threat from habitat destruction, as many of the rain forests they live in are plowed over. these frilly creatures need protection and support if we want them to still lurk stabbily in the wild.
however, the Orchid Mantis is extensively bred in captivity for the pet trade. it is the most popular kind of Mantis in the pet trade (for very good reasons), and its beauty and stabby nature will likely be around for a long time yet.
whether you like it or not.
thanks for reading! you can find the rest of the Weird Biology series here.
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img1- Discover Magazine img2- Science Friday img3- Wannabe Entomologist img4- featuredcreature img5- Entonation img6- NPR img7- US Mantis img8- Discover magazine