🪼🪼Hang loose, silly goose🪼🪼 Krista | 35 | gothic stories and cryptid filled fairy tales | degrees in literature, linguistics, and ethnology... and like... bones or whatever 💀🪨✨
The fastest way to accomplish The Project is to cease being afraid of The Project. The Project cannot maim you. The Project cannot kill you. The Project is more afraid of you than you are of it. It is okay if The Project turns out differently from how it was in your head, and it is okay if it has flaws. You are capable of engaging with The Project.
♪ Good morning Baltimore! There’s the fish man who lives next door. There’s the lady who rides the bus. I think they’re boning but I won’t judge. Good morning Baaaaaaaaltimore…. ♪
I do think the ability to emoji-react is a net win for human communication. not only does it give you an outlet for 'I see and acknowledge this but don't have a verbal response' but it also adds a pleasing alethiometer element to things
my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say
My handwriting is the same style as the teacher’s who I had when I was nine. I’m now twenty one and he’s been dead eight years but my i’s still curve the same way as his.
I watched the last season of a TV show recently but I started it with my friend in high school. We haven’t spoken in four years.
I make lentil soup through the recipe my gran gave me.
I curl my hair the way my best friend showed me.
I learned to love books because my father loved them first.
How terrifying, how excruciatingly painful to acknowledge this. That I am a jigsaw puzzle of everyone I have briefly known and loved. I carry them on with me even if I don’t know it. How beautiful.
And then sometimes you have to go to therapy to learn that the pieces left in you are yours and you can do what you want with them now. Even when it's not pretty, it's beautiful.
Kim Eui Gyeom is a superego character, living a strict life adhering to every expectation and guardrail of the world's making, following the road laid out for him, fully understanding that it will inevitably lead to the same downfall as his brother but passively waiting anyway. Kim Yoon Gi is an ego character, observing and collecting information about the rules of the world, then acting on them as he sees fit. Together, they face the "id" students and teachers (+father), who are instinctive, toxic, and animalistic in the fight for power and authority. Bully Kim Seung Jun reflects first, and his change, as well as Yoon Gi's friendship, allows Eui Gyeom to believe in a future and fight for justice, identity, and his own direction, because forgiveness is not owed to survival.
The use and withholding of diegetic sound in this show was masterful, creating a constant state of disorientation that matches Kim Eui Gyeom's suffocation, silence, and growing desire to survive in a better world. With the thriller-blue color grading and the misuse of warm light (at home, a false security) combined with hypersaturation of reds and pinks when he finally starts acting on his agency (like exploding the dissociation-plane), really solidifies the theme that hope and justice are two sides of the same coin and that a poisoned will pride kill its host. Our identities change over time, but who we are in any moment is also a reflection of time and experience. Kim Eui Gyeom's loneliness comes from a complicated grief, but this is the story of him learning to define his own reality.
I adore this show. The messaging is obvious (our social tropes and understanding of marriage via popular sitcom portrayals vs the real horrors of the marriages they reflect), but every episode twists the knife a little deeper, makes the characters a little more dimensional, blends the shift between tones so its a little more subtle, and soon the worlds are going to collide and I know this because in so many ways it is my parents.
A-ha, I just yelled at my husband that he can't be my opp over inanimate objects or strangers on the internet (gaming lobbies), he has to be on my side for those two things specifically, everything else is up for scrutiny. I started pointing out all the times there's an annoying thing and he tries to fix it, by going "there you go, opposition," and it worked!
I tripped the other day, and he kicked the crack in the sidewalk and we just kept walking and talking like nothing happened, and then we got home and he said "I yelled at the sidewalk instead, did you see that?" And then we giggled cus it was so stupid but I DID see it!
We eventually had an actual conversation about those little moments and how we can balance his desire for accountability, and how much of that is over-responsibility trickling in from work (more than he thought), with my want to be validated that we're in the same universe and on the same side, so that when he does have an observation about bettering myself, I can hear the authenticity and trust the intent—like how I DO trip a lot lately, because an old ankle injury is flaring up, and I didn't wanna do the exercises cus they're boring, but because he kicked the sidewalk instead of telling me to do the exercises, I wanna get better at not tripping, because I know it's not the sidewalk's fault (okay, it is a little, but trees just do that). He didn't trust that I knew I was being dramatic and blaming an outside problem, so I didn't trust that he was on my side to fix it, and it just got in a weird habitual over-correction about the way the world is because he wants the freedom to change it and I want the grounding that we both understand accidents happen.
Anyway, now when I get irritated by inanimate objects not functioning as desired (ex. a bowl exploded in the dishwasher), he says "aww, that sucks," instead of "well, was it dishwasher safe?" Because he wants to fix/protect/change for the better/ understand what happened, and I would feel a false sense of responsibility (yes, it's dishwasher safe, we've had it for eight years, it was not touching any other dish, no metal was rattling, yes it was pre-rinsed, blah blah, defensive checklist cus shit just happens sometimes). Now, because there was empathy/sympathy, I say something like "hmm, well, it's been eight years, maybe it was cracked somewhere," and we clean it up while learning about vibration frequencies of dishwashers because we're both curious about what even happened. Same universe, same reality, shared struggle, shared solution. Then when the big struggles come, I can talk to him about them and he can trust me to figure them out.
Anyway, I don't know if that all made sense. I made it sound all dramatic, but it was just a bad habit and a sensitivity having a chemical reaction in our marriage, and it was solved by very childishly yelling "STOP BEING MY OPP!" and kicking cracks in the sidewalk until he stopped trying to be responsible for my emotions and is getting much better at leaving the (very good, liked, and respected) manager version of himself in the car when he gets home.
After a childhood of failure, consequence, burnout, and exhaustion, how do two lonely people unlearn the expectation of loneliness? What is the role of society in isolation and agency as we traverse instable paths with no idea where we're going? Can we call it love if it binds us? This show says that our dreams and hopes and desires are all bound by freedom, and real love and care will not feel like a cage, but like hope.
This C-drama is a coming of age story that embodies the feeling of falling in love with being understood for the first time, realizing you can build an entire universe with someone if they love you, that freedom comes with scars, and that loneliness is a habit. I adore the first 11-15 episodes or so, but the tension shifts from discovering self to maintaining self, which is an important theme, just a little slower with lower stakes. The themes of agency, awkwardness, co-dependence, and communication in relationships remain through to the end, and ultimately, though we shift focus away from our FMC's independence (an argument could be made that this was part of her healthy recovery to trusting people/herself), the core story of reaching freedom remains.
I wrote a scene years ago where this exchange happens (in context it's funnier, I swear):
Character A: you look like you have thick blood.
B: um..... Thanks?
C: no, she's calling you dehydrated.
B: oh....
A: tsk tsk, can't even take care of one body.
So anyway, sometimes I yell at my husband that he's getting "thick blood" when he forgets to drink water, and he has no idea about this scene, he's just in biomedical science and he thinks it's funny.
My characters' inside joke became ours for different reasons of funny, and I think that's just what marriage is.
I have a fabulous lasagna recipe that calls for either make your own marinara or Classico (brand name specific because the flavor profile is known + it's gluten-free).
The old family recipe: add 1 cup 3/4 c 1/2c 1/2 cup + 2T but it's in old cursive and also pencil, and the photocopy is from over twenty years ago, there's a grease stain over how many eggs—but you already know that part. Or you thought you did.
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