[dafancyuhinspiration]

[ginniemouse]

grabe ka na june

[ginniemouse]

so naiinis ako kasi frustrated ako pero it's just me and my own expectations kaya mas lalong hurtful. hindi kasi valid kaya wala ako masabihan.

so i told him na wala akong pasok on monday and we planned to go sa beach kasi sabi niya matagal na niya ko naririnig na gusto mag beach so we cancelled the Azure plan and mag beach na lang nga. edi ang happy ko na. pero kasi nga di pa naman din sure on his end and bigyan ko daw siya til Thursday, which is kahapon nga.

so ako, syempre kahit si pa super sure, natuwa na ako, nag expect at naghanap ng Airbnb. he hyped me din kasi and it looked it was 80% sure.

then kanina, i followed up tapos sabi niya, hindi na daw kasi parang may paglalaanan nalang siyang iba sa pera niya.

so... like, okay.

nasaktan lang ako siguro kasi uno, gaga kasi ako at matampuhin. hahahaha. at kasalanan ko naman na nag expect ako eh hindi naman nga sure tsaka sino ba naman ako para diktahan kung saan niya gagastusin yang pera niya.

siguro masakit lang kasi, ako, willing ako to spend and even willing to spend more like the usual, duh. just to be with him and this is not even the first time na i'd bend for him and he knows that.

masakit lang na, sobrang laking bagay ba at super inconvenience ba for him na ituloy tong trip na to. can't he do it for me? can't he spend the day and share money for me? ni hindi ko man nga siningil kasi expect ko na ako ang gagastos din. lol

i guess, deserve ko naman to and this is what i will get naman talaga kasi pumapayag ako sa ganito.

sakit lang talaga when you feel, generally, na hindi ka talaga importante. or hindi ka mahal.

anyway. i wanna cry.

[coffeeandcigarettesv9]

[ginniemouse]

ang sad at nakakagalit yung mga nangyayari sa paligid. nawalan ako ng dalawanf sneakers kasi nilabhan ko tas naiwanan ko sa may garden namin.

then i found out, ang dami na talaga magnanakaw sa area namin na pati mga case ng softdrinks, ninanakaw. haynako. nakaka-lungkot tapos ang dami pa sa news na balita about sa nakaw.

not to mention yung mga corrupt officials.

super se-selfish and ang sad to realize how mean people can be.

[ginniemouse]

nagmukha nanaman akong tanga hehe

[scorpionlafemme]

[honorblue]

so many people have inspired me to be nothing like them

[scorpionlafemme]

[ginniemouse]

bigla na lang akong may kapatid. di ko alam mafi-feel ko.

okay, kase, ganito. alam ko naman na may mga kapatid ako sa tatay ko. but never really interacted with them in the past. tapos, kung di rin naman medyo bobo yung tatay ko no, nag-ampon later in his life.

ngayon kase, may comms kami ng family ko sa father side and kahapon in-add ako nung ampon ni papa. he's 15 year old na. tapos he messaged me, kinukumusta ako, tinatawag akong ate, kung kelan daw ako uuwi doon. syempre, nagre-reply naman ako politely. haha.

one of my biggest regrets was burning the bridge and it took me my pride to reconnect and rebuild. i know, di naman sila galit sa akin kasi why would they be? lol. but like, di ako nahirapan kasi ako naman etong nagalit talaga sakanila.

later in my life na i realized na hindi dapat. kasi... pamilya ko pa din sila. alam ko naman din yon and minsan, seeing their facebook story getting together, travelling, eating out... nakaka-inggit. kasi i wanted that kind of family. kaya medyo lumapit ako.

and now that it is happening, hindi ko alam ang mararamdaman ko esp. dun sa ampon ni papa kasi for sure, i am introduced to him as his sister.

wala akong nakagisnang kapatid at never akong naging ate to someone kaya di ko siya masyadong ma process. pero... ang cute that he calls me ate and that he cares.

but yeah, nakakapanibago.

[ginniemouse]

hi, malaki ba dede mo

haha detachable

[ginniemouse]

really love this IG flash filter 😌🩷

anyway, hi. who is still up? or already up? or still working like me? 😅😭

[ginniemouse]

nafi-feel bad ako kasi i just feel so exhausted physically. i know naman na kami lahat, pagod for this trip pero i just feel like, i am more pagod kasi pagod din ako mentally kasi kargo ko lahat sila for everything. navigation and all. ako lahat. ni hindi mo maiwanan kasi baka maligaw. tapos feeling ko iba iba lang kami ng amats kasi pati si tito ko, buryong buryo talaga.

now, iniwanan ko na sila kasi diretso na lang naman sa hotel namin yun at kaya naman na daw. nafi-feel bad lang ako pero like, huhu. i grew up doing things on my own and independently kaya para akong nasasakal for being so tied up with them. i feel sooooo bad. jina-justify ko nalang yung sarili ko by saying that... i am just built this way and they let me be this way naman kasi di naman din nila ko sinamahan growing up sa mga bagay na gusto ko. hahahaha. sheeeet

anyway. im here sa SB tapos ang sarap ng black sesame frappe. ang mahal lang dito sa HK. 🥲

[the-wrong-team]

You can only reblog this today.

[ginniemouse]

pagod 🥱

[ginniemouse]

👋

[hellish-daddi]