Crush on Me 2 | romllis (ch. 4)
pairing: 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝗆𝗎𝗅𝖺𝗌 𝗑 2𝗁𝗈𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗌
tags: 𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗁 𝗌𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗅 𝖺𝗎, 𝗍𝗈𝗑𝗂𝖼!𝗋𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇, 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗉𝗉𝖾𝖽!𝗁𝗈𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗌, 𝗌𝗂𝗍𝗎𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇
summary: 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗇𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗅𝗒 𝗍𝗐𝗈 𝗆𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗁𝗌, 𝗁𝗈𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝖻𝗎𝗂𝗅𝖽𝗌 𝗎𝗉 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗋𝖺𝗀𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖺𝗌𝗄 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇 𝗈𝗎𝗍 (𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝖿). 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝗀𝗋𝖾𝖾𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗁𝗈𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗁𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗇𝖾𝗐𝗅𝗒 𝖽𝗂𝗌𝖼𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝗍'𝗌 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝗐𝗈 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆. 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗁𝖾'𝖽 𝖻𝖾 𝖺 𝖿𝗈𝗈𝗅 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝗂𝗍'𝖽 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍, 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍?
taglist: @girl2wink (this would not have been completed w/o u, ilysm <2) @gabisohot @angelverse222 @osxprincesa @girl2bad @ibelieveinfairyz @m1ndless-thoughtsss @lonelycatontheblock @sippingonsin @2yung2diie @antihumanfooorm thank u all for being so interested in this fic, it means so so much to me <2
a/n: 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝖺 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋 𝗈𝗇𝖾 (𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 3𝗄 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌) 𝗌𝗈 𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾 𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗎𝗋 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒 <2
mind games (until you lose control)
Hollis was proud of the progress he’d made with Roman. Really, he was. He thought it was over before it even began when the boy initially blocked him less than 2 months ago, and now they were facetiming and texting almost everyday without fail. But leave it to Hollis to want something more. It just felt like there was something missing. Besides the fact that Roman rarely acknowledged Hollis’ existence at school.
They hadn’t hung out once since they met. Not a single time. Hollis’ interactions with Roman were limited to brief eye contact in the hallway, the accidental brush of hands in class when passing something over, and their midnight phone calls. Was it wrong for him to just want to see Roman away from everyone else, outside of a screen? Did that make him desperate?
He rolls the idea around in his head for a few days, trying to decide the best way to approach this. There was no doubt in his mind Roman would question him. Maybe he wouldn’t full-on reject the idea, but he’d definitely have stipulations. Every opportunity he had to ask the boy, he talked himself out of it and put it off for another day. ‘Tomorrow,’ he’d tell himself. Tomorrow became two more days, then four, then an entire week.
Hollis contemplated going to the group chat with it, but Nate and Ryan weren’t even fully sure why he still messed with Roman. Ryan especially wasn’t too happy with the idea of Hollis chasing after someone who couldn’t give him the time of day unless it was convenient. He had to deal with this himself.
It all just came out one night. He had been running different scenarios through his head the entire day, and when the phone lit up with Roman’s name, it was as if the words couldn’t hold themselves back anymore.
“What’s wrong?” Roman asks abruptly. They’d been on the phone for less than 5 minutes, and Hollis was already acting off. There was a slight look of concern on Roman’s face that the phone caught, propped up by a pillow as Roman lay adjacent to it.
“It can’t be nothing. You look like you’re thinking about something.” Roman sits up, bringing the phone with him.
Hollis exhales, deciding there was no way around this anymore. Roman would press him about it until he got annoyed and eventually hung up, and Hollis wasn’t in the mood to beg. Hopefully Roman’s reaction wasn’t too harsh.
“I know we don't… like hang out at school or anything, and that’s fine, I guess. But does that mean all hang outs are off limits?” Hollis swallows his anxiety, praying Roman can’t hear it in his voice.
“Are you asking me out right now?” Roman’s face twisted with an emotion Hollis couldn’t quite read, but he hoped it wasn’t disgust.
“It doesn’t have to be a date, Roman. I just want to see you. We only talk on the phone. Think of it as just a casual hang out between two friends.” Hollis feels his desperation building and he mentally curses himself for it. This hold Roman had on him was an addiction and a curse all in one, something he’d never fully wrap his head around.
“So you’re not asking me out?”
“Roman, please.” So much for not begging.
“What do you even wanna do?” Roman’s eyebrows furrow, caving ever so slightly. Progress.
After running over a few different ideas he had, they finally settled on something. They’d go see a movie, some new action film that Hollis had already forgotten the name of, and get something to eat. Roman was hesitant on the second part of the plan, insisting it sounded too much like a date, but eventually caved.
“I’m only free on Saturday, though. Family shit.” Roman yawned as the clock hit 1 a.m.
“Okay. Saturday then. Don’t stand me up.” Hollis teased, watching Roman scrunch up his face again.
“Shut up. Goodnight, Holli.”
Hollis felt his heart flutter once again at the nickname, as if most of his friends didn’t call him the exact same one. It sounded different coming from Roman’s lips. Softer. Intimate.
Saturday rolls around slower than Hollis wants it to, but it rolls around nonetheless. He sits on the floor an hour before he’s meant to be at the theater, deciding on what shirt to wear. This shit was ridiculous.
“You’re gonna be in the dark for most of the date, Holls.” Chessa’s voice emitted from his phone. He’d called her as she was the only friend of his who wasn’t wary of Roman at the moment.
“Not a date.” Hollis mumbled, tossing yet another shirt back into the drawer.
“Yeah, okay, whatever. Date, hangout, whatever the fuck. It doesn’t matter what you wear, he’s not going to be looking at your clothes.”
“I guess.” Hollis decides on a black tank, pulling on a hoodie over it.
“Perfect. You look fine. Now hurry up before you’re late. I don’t need him bitching in my messages.”
Hollis laughs at this, easing up a bit. He had enough to be nervous about today, and his outfit should be the least of his problems.
(He still ends up changing jeans once more before heading out.)
The theater’s lobby is mostly empty except for a mother and her child as well as a group of teenage girls who, thankfully, do not go to Hollis’ school. He scans the area for anyone else and meets eyes with none other than Roman. There’s a softness to his appearance, a slight glow if you will. Maybe that was just Hollis’ lovesick brain. But he could tell he brushed out his hair, leaving it fluffier. Hollis loved the usual curls Roman sported, but this was cute, too.
“Finally you show up.” Roman sets his phone down as Hollis approaches him. “And you said I’d stand you up.”
Hollis feels his face heat up as Roman nudges him, an inch of space between the two. This was more than the accidental brush of hands in the classroom as they passed papers.
“I was like two minutes late, please.” Hollis rolls his eyes, nudging Roman back.
The brunet simply pulls Hollis by his sleeve over to the register, looking at the signs above their heads to see what snacks were offered. Hollis fidgeted with his jeans until he located his wallet, pulling out his card.
“What do you want? I’ll buy it for you.” Hollis leans closer to Roman’s ear to ask.
Roman shakes his head, reaching into his own wallet and handing the cashier $30.
“We can just share popcorn.”
“I was gonna pay for it.” Hollis all but pouts, eyebrows furrowing.
“Aw, you gotta be quicker than that, Holli.” Roman turns to thank the cashier as she hands him fresh popcorn and two cups. Hollis gets a red slushie while Roman gets blue with a little bit of Coca-Cola at the bottom.
They find their seats at the back of the showing room, which is relatively empty. The nearest person is 3 rows up, giving them enough space to talk without being shushed. Hollis’ slushie is almost gone from nervous chugging, while Roman has only taken maybe two sips.
The movie is interesting to say the least. It’s a bunch of bad sound effects and overdone stunts, but it’s entertaining. Hollis’ favorite part was not the actual movie itself but the laughter its stupidity brought out of Roman. His laugh was even more intoxicating in person than it was on the phone, and Hollis felt as if he’d do anything to hear it again.
Since the popcorn bucket rested in Roman’s lap, Hollis finds himself having to reach over the boy frequently. Their fingers touch on multiple occasions, and it flusters Hollis to the point of apology. Roman is as nonchalant as he usually is, but Hollis notices the slightest smile every time their fingertips brush. He wonders if the sensation gives him butterflies, too, or if it’s all intentional and he’s teasing him. After it happens a fifth time, Hollis decides he’s done with the popcorn.
The movie ends after what feels like forever, and Hollis can’t hold back his own laughter as the credits roll. Roman looks at him like he’s crazy but eventually laughs, too, an amused giggle hidden behind his hand. A quiet yet mutual agreement between the two: that movie sucked.
They exit the theater and Hollis squints as the lighting changes, shielding his eyes with his hand as they walk back to his car. Roman doesn’t seem to be bothered at all, not by the burning hot Sun or the warmed metal of the seatbelt’s buckle. He’s been relatively calm this entire hangout, and it’s refreshing. Hollis doesn’t feel like he’s walking on eggshells, trying not to piss him off and get the silent treatment or some other cruel punishment.
“Can we go eat now? I’m starving.” Roman groans, resting his head against the dashboard. Hollis laughs and shifts the car into drive, reaching to turn on the radio.
“I can’t see how. You fucking devoured that popcorn.”
Roman lightly shoves his arm, nostrils flaring. “No, I fucking didn’t, shut up.”
Hollis barks out a laugh and turns up the radio, watching Roman’s scowl turn into a smile from the corner of his eye.
They pull into the drive-thru of a McDonald’s that’s been there since long before Hollis was born, probably, if its condition was anything to go by. The food was mediocre, but it was cheap and Hollis couldn’t be bothered to drive 30 minutes out to a nice diner or something. Roman would probably appreciate a less public spot anyways.
Besides, sitting in the car, blasting music, and stealing fries from Roman was probably more fun. He cackles as Roman swats his hands away, yelling at him to eat his own food.
“Wait, okay, you’ve never heard of Al Green?” Hollis leans back against the driver’s seat, a fry hanging out of his mouth.
Roman scrunched up his nose at the behavior, looking down at his burger. “I’ve heard of him, I think, I’ve just never listened to him.” He shrugs, taking a sip from Hollis’ drink.
“That’s mine.” His face heats up once again, waiting for Roman’s expression to shift to embarrassment or realization. It never does.
“Oh. Okay, um… What about Justice? Have you listened to them?”
“Dude, who are these people?” Roman snorted, shaking his head.
“It’s good music! Here.” He grabs his phone, opening Spotify and pulling up Love and Happiness by Al Green. He grabs his tangled earbuds from his pocket and plugs them into his phone, offering Roman one. The brunet looks at him suspiciously, to which Hollis just sighs and places it in his ear for him.
“Trust me.” He presses play, placing the other earbud in his own ear. The opening chords begin to play, and while Roman’s face doesn’t change much, Hollis notices his hand ever so softly tapping his leg to the rhythm.
“You like it.” Hollis beams, nudging Roman. He rolls his eyes, jerking his shoulder away from him. Even so, he makes no attempt to pause the song or take out the earbud. Hollis’ heart jumped at the idea of sharing something with Roman and him actually enjoying it. A sense of pride, maybe. Or perhaps just pure, unbridled joy.
Hollis contemplates ending the day here, not wanting to step out of bounds by inviting Roman to his house. But, surprisingly, Roman beats him to it, telling him he didn’t wanna go home just yet, that it was still early.
So they ended up back in Hollis’ room, his Mom out and his brother at a friend’s house. Roman peered around the new space like a caged animal newly relocated, curious and a bit intrigued. He kept his hands for the most part, until he saw Hollis’ computer open on the bed to yet another one of his unfinished projects.
“I didn’t know you made music.” He sits on his bed, looking to Hollis as if to ask if he could hear.
“I told you I did.” Hollis sits next to Roman, scrolling to a project he was a bit more proud of.
“Yea, but I thought you meant like… as something to pass the time or some shit. Not seriously.” He turns and blinks at him with an expression Hollis, once again, couldn’t quite read.
“You wanna hear?” Hollis chuckles.
Roman nods. So for the next 30 minutes or so, Hollis shows Roman a few different songs, many of which he’s uploaded. Hollis was not shy about his music, he knew that much. He wanted it to reach millions one day, and he knew the only way for that to happen was to put it out there. But having this boy he felt so strongly about willingly listening to his music and seeming to enjoy it? That was an entirely different feeling, one he was sure he hadn’t felt in a long time. Not like this.
Roman kept glancing at him between songs, like he was analyzing the person who made the very music he was listening to. The looks ranged from a few seconds to full moments, especially lingering on his face. Hollis did his best to pretend he didn’t notice, but he could feel this growing tension between them, the feeling of being watched and admired.
“Hollis…” Roman finally spoke, voice slightly raspy after prolonged silence.
“Yea?” Hollis clears his own throat, taking the risk and turning to him. His pupils are definitely larger than he remembers, and there’s a flush to his face that doesn’t match the cool temperature of the room.
Before Hollis can even process these two factors, Roman’s mouth is on his. It knocks the breath out of him, he’ll admit, but he quickly falls into it, breathing through his nose. Roman tastes like the slushie he drank at the theater and probably ketchup but Hollis couldn’t give less of a fuck. He was kissing Roman. Roman was kissing him.
His heart felt like it might beat out of his chest, the strong burst of adrenaline dizzying. Hollis grabs any part of Roman that he can reach, scared the moment would end as quickly as it began. His right hand trailed up his back, fingers burying in Roman’s hair. His fingers caught onto a single plait, hidden by the rest of the boy’s (rather soft) hair. He feels around some more and registers another braid, just a few inches away from the first. Hollis pulls away from the kiss and laughs, staring into the eyes of a kiss-drunken Roman.
“What’s funny?” He furrowed his eyebrows, already leaning in for more.
“Nothing, nothing…” Hollis pecks his lips, trying to initiate another kiss.
“Something’s funny.” Roman pulls back, a slight pout on his lips. Hollis wants to kiss it off. If only he’d let him.
“It’s nothing, Ro. Just the braids, I didn’t notice them before. They’re cute.” Hollis finally reconnects their lips. Roman makes no attempt to protest or press more, melting into the kiss.
They make out for what feels like hours, and might as well be. Roman ends up straddling Hollis’ waist at some point, the latter’s large hands sliding up his shirt. Roman shivers a bit as his cold fingers grip at his waist, but soon they warm with the effort of his body heat.
He climbs off of him and flops down beside the blond to catch his breath as the Sun begins to set. They stare at the ceiling in silence for a few minutes before Hollis hesitantly reaches out his hand for Roman to grab. The boy stares at it for a few seconds, and Hollis closes his eyes to try and lessen the embarrassment he’s feeling until he feels warm fingers intertwining with his own. His eyes open, head turning to face Roman, who looks back at him.
He looks so soft in this moment, like an angel fallen right into Hollis’ bed. He wishes he could stay here like this forever, with Roman looking at him in a way he never has before. But his mother would be home soon, and Angus would probably bring over a friend or two to play video games, and the moment would be awkward and ruined. He pushed those thoughts out of his head, trying to live in the now, in the present, enjoy Roman’s warmth while he still had it.
He watches the slow rise and fall of his chest, imagining his ear pressed against it, listening to the quiet thumping of his heart. Had it slowed now that they’d stopped kissing? Or was physical contact simply enough to raise his heart rate? Because it was definitely enough for Hollis.
He feels his eyelids growing heavier, exhaling as he closes his eyes for just a second. He quickly opens them again, as if to make sure Roman had not suddenly disappeared. He hadn’t. He stares back at Hollis, blinking every so often. It doesn’t creep him out or unsettle him. Instead, it comforts him, to know Roman’s attention was solely on him.
He closes his eyes again and does not remember anything after that.
When he opens them again after what must’ve been a few hours, Roman is gone. He hears his mother on the phone in the kitchen, and Angus yelling at his game, but no Roman. He groans and reaches for his phone, pressing the side button just once. 10:15 p.m. Hollis feels a deep ache in his chest, a mixture of disappointment and longing. He pulls up Roman’s contact a few seconds later.
Hollis worried about Roman. Did something happen when he went home? Had he gotten in trouble for being out so late? Had he heard his mom or brother coming in and got scared? So many different thoughts at once, endless scenarios and possibilities. Hollis scanned through each one in his head until he grew tired and fell asleep again, phone resting face down on his chest.
Contrary to what he told him the previous day, Roman did not text or call him at all on Sunday. Not in the morning, not in the afternoon, not in the evening to explain his absence. Midnight rolled around and there was no facetime call. He checked his phone every time it pinged but found only app notifications or texts from the group chat. Where was Roman?
He waited up until almost 2 am, hoping and praying Roman would just send a text or try to dial his phone. Nothing. Hollis had to be up for school in a few hours, so he sighed and set his phone on the dresser, rolling over. He stared at the spot Roman lay less than two days ago, now cold and empty the way he left it. Hollis fell asleep imagining he was there again, holding onto his hand the way he did that night.
Hollis’ concern turned into irritation and frustration when he saw Roman in the halls that Monday morning, talking to Chessa and a few of his other friends. He looked perfectly fine, not dejected or out of it. He laughs at a joke a girl Hollis remembers to be named Hailee makes. Nate settles beside Hollis near the lockers, but he doesn’t tear his eyes away from Roman. He stares so long he wouldn’t be surprised if he burned a hole through him.
When Roman finally feels eyes on him, he follows them and is soon staring back at Hollis. There is no nod or smile this time. His eyes do not light up ever so slightly the way Hollis began to notice they did recently. He stares at him for a few seconds before he looks away, back to Hailee, Chessa, and the others.
All that progress on Saturday, what was it for? The jokes, sharing food, Roman being the first person outside of Hollis’ friend group to hear his music? The kiss? They made out for almost a fucking hour in Hollis’ room, in Hollis’ bed, when no one else was home and now Roman was scowling at him?
Hollis tried not to let it affect him. He didn’t want to overthink this or believe that Roman would pull something like this after everything they did together just two days ago. Because that would then lead him to finally see him how Nate and Ryan did. And Hollis didn’t want to see him that way. He liked Roman. Really liked him.
So he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind and carried on with the school day, hoping Nate or Ryan had something entertaining to distract him.
But the final straw would come no more than a few hours later, when he texted Roman once he made it home. It made his heart drop to his stomach, and he could feel the rose-colored lenses start to fall. Hollis felt stupid. Helplessly and utterly stupid.
a/n: 𝗎𝗆 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗁! 𝗄𝖺𝗒, 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝗎𝗒𝗌! 𝖽𝗈𝗇'𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝗆𝗂𝗅𝖾! (𝗓𝖾𝗇𝖽𝖺𝗒𝖺 𝗋𝖾𝖿) 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅 𝖿𝗋𝖾𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝖾𝗅𝗅 𝖺𝗍 𝗆𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌 𝗂𝗍 𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗌 𝗆𝖾 <2
