True Story.

[serenasaystoday]

me when i finally watch the old hollywood classic that everyone berates me about never having seen before

[savethebeesbby]

bdsm stands for

Bees Do So Much for the environment

[meladoodle]

if i become a drug dealer i’m gonna say to my customers ‘now put THAT in your pipe and smoke it” and we’d all laugh and then i’d call the police because drugs are fucking illegal

[evaunit08]

@ rude people it cost $0.00 to change that attitude 

[sunshineysprinkles]

Saying no doesn’t make you a mean or bad person. It doesn’t mean you’re insensitive or that you don’t care. You’re allowed to put yourself first and sometimes saying no can be the best self care. You don’t need to do everything people ask of you.

[gemmarosity-deactivated20180906]

i cant believe americans on tv really say rock paper scissors like???? its paper scissors rock omg do u irl americans actually say rock paper scissors????

[gemmarosity-deactivated20180906]

rb this with whether u say paper scissors rock or rock paper scissors

[doing-talking]

me normally: linguistic differences are so interesting and cool! I love hearing different dialectal variations.

me, reading “paper, scissors, rock” with my own two eyeballs: the lord is testing me

[racingbarakarts]

I used to have geese so here’s a tip for everyone:

If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count

[myblogisnotinteresting]

I can’t tell if this is a shitpost or actual advice. But I do know geese are the fucking worst.

[racingbarakarts]

Actual advice! Just yeet a goose

[61below]

Yeet the geese

[palmtreecorner]

YEESE

[buzzfeed]

This Restaurant Has The Wildest Wing Pricing Structure And People Are Doing Math To Try To Figure It Out

[papasmoke]

In her essay Tik Tok the great philosopher Ke$ha declared that ‘the party don’t start till I walk in.’ which is clearly meant to convey that any recreational gathering is not truly a party until Ke$ha herself arrives.

But what if Ke$ha were to leave the party for some period of time only to then walk in again? This paradoxical scenario in which a party must simultaneously already exist and not exist yet is known as Ke$ha’s Quantum Party and has stumped theoretical physicists for decades.

[selkiesomber]

Actually, while Ke$ha does in fact declare that “The party don’t start till I walk in”, she later goes on to explain that, in fact, “The party don’t stop, no”. This means that regardless of Ke$ha’s later exits or reentries, the party will continue existing in its current state of being.

[loloftheday]

Some next level snitchery

[thorffour-deactivated20190920]

Before vs After Adoption

[source]

[monkeysaysficus]

[larry-david-lynch]

Please adopt

[greekgodohair]

There’s something to be said for the way a rescue animal looks at you. It’s like they know or sense what you’ve done. Even though they’ll never be able to say it I feel as if they make up for it with that look.

[dorites-deactivated20241117]

that scene in the second Harry Potter where Harry has no bones in his arm is probably the most disgusting use of cgi

[moscowdiscow-deactivated2017011]

that wasnt cgi they literally removed daniel radcliffes bones for that scene

[dorites-deactivated20241117]

I hope he got them back

[moscowdiscow-deactivated2017011]

they didnt have the budget to put them back in so for the rest of the movies in the franchise they used cgi to make it look like they did

[beastygimmick]

am i even good at kissing this is a serious concern of mine

[fxa]

so my chemistry teacher has a playful rivalry with the other teachers on her hall and yesterday a teacher anonymously left a note on my teacher’s board that said “my students are better than your students” so instead of guessing who it was my teacher went around the entire hall and stole pens out of every classroom and, as “an experiment in chromatography”, got us to drop water and rubbing alcohol on the note and sample marks made by the stolen pens to see what color the ink turned and when we figured out whose pen was used to write the note she went to the teacher in the middle of class and confronted her about it

[rarabro]

siri read a message from my mom (2017)

[harlequinesque]

i think we’ve gotten as close to a real life Howler as we can get

[discogolfmagazine]

this is literally the funniest thing Ive ever seen in my life

[foolish-masterm1nd-deactivated2]

[lonely-silhouette-blog]

[eleanor-hates-pedos-blog]

This video,,,, made me so happy? thank????