has it already been a year?
A year ago today I was barreling out of my dorm room to my car and speeding down Highway 52 to get to I-95 so I could get to JM Hospital.
A year ago today my mom called me fifteen minutes after the first phone call and told me that it was too late.
A year ago today I pulled over at an Exxon station, because I couldn't see the road anymore through my tears, and cried until my throat hurt, until my eyes were red and I couldn't speak.
It started raining as I pulled back onto the highway. I cried the entire drive to the hospital.
A year ago today, my grandma died.
I don't know where the time went, or how it went by so fast, or how you're still gone, Grandma, because it doesn't feel like you are. I still think that I'm going to see you at family gatherings, and its like a punch in the gut, like there's someone who has a hold of my heart and is squeezing until it hurts, every time I remember that you're not there waiting to hug me and hold my hand and ask me how I've been, to tell me that you missed me.
I know that you're better now- your body is renewed, you're no longer in pain, you're happier now than you were for the last ten years of your life- and that makes me happy. But it doesn't make me miss you any less.
Because I do- I miss you every single day, so much that it hurts, so much that I have to stop and catch my breath sometimes because you can't actually be gone. But then I remember that you're not gone- you may not be with us presently, but I know that you are here with me every single day.
RIP Grandma Violet. I love you and I miss you.
And also- thank you to all of you here. A year ago today, you guys were what kept going, to be honest. You were there for me, and you were encouraging, and you never let me forget that I wasn't alone.
You guys have been there for me since she passed-more than my friends that I see every day have been-and I just wanted to say thank you for it. It's meant a lot, and I love you guys.
prguitarman
pixelskylines
areudirty
jbbartram-illu
izzy806
