FᵤCₖ

✨Call me bird✨ there's only one gender and it's mine. they/them

[mychemicalraymance]

the only time a man has ever been funny is when frank iero said jesus christ could you use a more unattractive picture of me to that tweet from digital tour bus

[mychemicalraymance]

I like this tweet more than any song hes released

[thetrippytrip]

I wish the world would understand..

[bioaccumulation]

God mcrsecrets anons please seek therapy

[vodkasam]

please reblog this if your blog is safe for asexuals

(an ace safe space)

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

This is an acephobia free zone <3

[hispreciouslittlestar-blog]

o'course :)

[airbenderedacted]

[sarahinsaturn]

We love you rainbow dash icon.

[roman-laments-deactivated202308]

Yee

[matobawataru]

[arashichans-moved-deactivated20]

[cikero]

girl let me be your little shrimp

[cikero]

[shaking my phone] grrrr cmon this one’s FUNNY

[tics-deactivated20201202]

[thecommonchick]

THIS IS TOO MUCH 💀😂

[roaringstream]

“Do NOT tell the world about this” 200,000 notes

[glutko]

Homer Simpson has been alive for 66 years.

Do what you must with this information.

[ninjacat64]

wait 3 years so he is 69

[glutko]

Holy shit…

Hommer Simpson 69…

[glutko]

Hommer Simpition 69 this year…

[moved-to-korrigantsionnach-deac]

I want a story about a king whose son is prophesied to kill him so the king is like “whatever what am I supposed to do, kill my own kid wtf is wrong with you” so he just raises him as normal, doesn’t even tell him about the prophecy, and instead of some convoluted twist of events that leads to the king’s murder the son grows up and when the king is very old and dying and in excruciating pain the kid is just like alright I'mma put him out of his misery.

[femonologue]

The king’s son becomes the new king, and is prophesied to defeat evil and bring an age of prosperity. His generals and knights all crack their knuckles but he pretty much ignores them and focuses on strengthening the infrastructure of his kingdom. Forty years later he is old and sick but still hearing his subjects’ grievances, and a general’s like “how will you defeat the prophesied evil now? You’re old and weak.” Another visitor, a teenager fresh out of the kingdom’s public education system, looks at the general like he is an ignoramus. The king eradicated poverty, housed the homeless, taught the ignorant, ended class exploitation by abolishing the nobility and imprisoning the corrupt, and established a highly respected guild of doctors that recently figured out how to cure the plague. There are no brigands because there is enough wealth for everyone to live comfortably; hiding in the woods and taking trinkets from people simply doesn’t make any sense for anyone but the desperate, and the people are not desperate. Evil is a weed, explains the teenager. It grows in cracked roads and crumbling houses and forgotten corners, rooted in indifference and watered by suffering. But the king demands that broken things be mended and suffering people be made well.

No evil lives in this kingdom, says the teenager. It starved to death before I was born.

[femonologue]

Every once in a while, when I’m feeling down, I go and look at the notes on this post and they make me feel a lot better. This is the energy I want to carry into 2018.

[mxbutchtwink]

The entire gay fashion spectrum:

Floral button up

I might be a vampire, who knows?

Too much jewelry

I am insecure about my body :)

Ken/Polly Pocket incarnate

I walked right out of the set of an 80’s sitcom

Shaved eyebrow slit

[tokai-teio]

anyone else ever just read discourse for like 20 seconds then realize “wait i don’t care” and just zoom past it

[logarto]

none of you are allowed to badmouth winnie the pooh. i will find out and i will destroy you.

[rakeshouseparty]

Greetings Human, Just Making A Cawh-Fee ..

[emjineer]

So my boss once robbed a museum to prove a point and honestly, I think she is my new role model. 

[emjineer]

If this gets notes I’ll tell the full story

[marry-and-mirthful]

Storu

[emjineer]

Many years ago, my boss was working at this museum and they had these original Churchill documents on display. These documents are worth millions of dollars… The only thing separating the public from these documents was a sheet of glass secured with 4 philips head screws. Seriously. No security guards in the room, no cameras, just an easily removable piece of glass. 

My boss pointed out the security concern, but she wasn’t taken seriously, so she took matters into her own hands. 

She bought a ticket and  pretended to be a guest. She entered through the main entrance with a huge drill clearly visible on her belt, went straight to the documents and opened the case with the drill. (While  wearing gloves,) she removed the documents, put them in a folder, reattached the glass, and walked out the main exit.  Literally no one even questioned her.

 She immediately went around to the back of the museum, entered using the staff entrance and went straight to her boss’s office.  She dropped the folder on his desk and said “I just stole these in 15 minutes“

Once he was done being mad at her, he listened and the museum increased security. 

[mcrsecrets]