if i look back, i am lost
Love Begins
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art blog(derogatory)
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Misplaced Lens Cap
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dirt enthusiast
Monterey Bay Aquarium
roma★
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
noise dept.
almost home
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@gleefulabandon
My birthday is tomorrow! <3
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Now is a really great time to support me, especially as I'm navigating platform censorship! There are so many ways to do this and get things in return! THANK YOU!
In the Fog: Living with the Uncertainty of Making Consent Decisions
There are a lot of people who are sure they can detect AI generated images. Just look for the weird fingers, they will tell you. Or the reflections in the eyes, or imperfections in regular textures. Other people don't use rules like that, but strongly believe their gut will tell them when an image was AI generated. (I'm one of those people - I deep-down believe I can always tell an AI image based on an indefinable something, or at least I did until someone pointed out to me that an image I'd scrolled past, of the pope wearing a Balenciaga puffy jacket, was AI generated)
There is software that claims to be able to detect AI generated images, but even in their own marketing materials, none claim to have 100% accuracy. And the errors take two forms, both of missing images that were AI generated, and falsely marking human-generated artwork or photos as the work of AI. In the realm of detecting AI-written prose, I have heard that false alarms have been reported by some neurodivergent people, for their writing being too well structured, grammatically correct, or using the em dash.
Balancing those types of errors is called setting the detection threshold, in the field of detection theory: the study of how to make decisions in the fog. It was originally formalized for radar technicians in World War 2, who needed to think about the uncertainty of deciding whether a blip on the radar scope was an enemy plane. It's useful across many fields, and I think it's useful for organizers handling consent issues including reports of consent violations. The awful uncertainty for organizers can take many forms: which of two versions of events is true; is someone a dangerous creep or just awkward; was something a one-time mistake or part of a deliberate pattern; can someone become ok with feedback on their actions or not. If an organizer does it long enough, they will face all those kinds of decisions, and that means choosing their threshold.
"It is better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer." is a statement about detection threshold, maybe appropriate for the legal system which is backed by threats of prison. "Always believe survivors", is another one, although few if any organizations ultimately follow this: acting on all consent reports as literally true. Recently I have seen statements such as "[believing victims] does not mean that everything anyone who claims to be a victim of abuse is guaranteed to be true, or the full story." (link) and by someone else, "You can't 'Believe Survivors' before you've decided who the Survivor is".(link)
Detection theory says that thresholds can't be set without thinking about the consequences of both kinds of mistake, misses and false alarms. There is no objectively best place to set the threshold. Letting a bomb through an Xray security device is such a disastrous miss that airports are set up to have thousands of false alarms a day, whereas accusing a scientific article of being falsified makes such waves that it is usually only undertaken with a stack of overwhelming evidence - false alarms are rare. Banning the wrong person, besides being unjust, can tear apart a community, and even act as a tool of oppression against marginalized groups. On the other hand, though the destruction is less immediately obvious, failing to ban someone can mean allowing a predator or creep to operate freely in a community, with long-lasting harm - again, often starting with the most vulnerable groups.
Some have written that it's important that all consent reports get a full-scale investigation, or at least that "both sides of the story" are formally collected. The hope with this is to thin the fog, make decisions with more certainty. I'm neutral about this - even if they have the time and energy to conduct an investigation worthy of the name, organizers don't have training in investigating, or access to resources like CCTV footage, phone records, or forensics. And because of the nature of most consent violations, so often you will deadend at two conflicting statements by the people involved, on something that happened in a private room with no one else there. There are even cases where hypothetical hidden camera footage of the incident wouldn't settle it, because the important part happened on the inside, or in the context of a long relationship. And determining someone's intent or future safety is even more difficult. I think asking a few questions can be a good policy, but even if the investigation is extensive, fog will still remain.
Everyone entering a consent decision-making role needs to know about the fog - not just in kink, because every group will eventually face consent violation reports. They need to think in advance about how they will deal with it.
Differing positions are ok! It is a defensible decision to only ban based on the equivalent of an AI hand with 7 fingers, a high detection threshold. That's what I hear when organizations say things like, "in 10 years we've never had to ban someone, don't be the first!" or "we can only act on incidents that happened at our event". I don't really get that, but the message is clear. Conversely, a group could announce that it bans on a hair trigger, a low detection threshold. The vast majority are going to land in between, with different long term outcomes. The important thing is to communicate that threshold truthfully, so potential attendees can make an informed choice. (one of the worst ways it can land is a group advertising fierce protections, which then chickens out when first faced with uncertainty and does nothing - in particular, "zero tolerance" is always an empty promise)
The fog is one of the main reasons caring organizers burn out. The ambiguity, the worry about being manipulated, sometimes having to wade into a complex multi person situation with abuse accusations in multiple directions. And in general knowing you have likely made mistakes, of both kinds, both of which can cause harm. In most cases they will never know for sure what was the right call, but they have to make it. There is no safe or neutral choice when handling consent violation reports, there is only thresholds.
That's just part of being an organizer. Looking into the fog, and making decisions with your whole heart and mind. Beware of people who say they can always see through the fog. Beware of people who say you don't have to stare into the fog, you can follow some simple rules to guide you through every time. Beware of people who, if the fog around a person or event is eventually cleared away, say you should have been able to see clearly before.
If you want to organize, prepare to live in the fog.
Now taking art commissions :)
Hi everyone! I'm excited to share that I've opened art commissions! This is to help pay for a big life thing coming up!
$60 regular illustrations, $120 commercial use logo/design work!
More info/examples on my website: https://sleepingirl.info/#commissions
New Article: Filling Hypnosis Scenes
I'm VERY proud of this article about a ton of things you can do to fill time with play IN TRANCE.
I think a lot of us struggle with "So they're in trance... Now what?" And we often feel like we need to wake people up in order to enjoy play and triggers. But the reality is that there is SO much available to us to play with in hypnosis -- all really amazing, unique stuff!
It is 4.5k words; essentially several mini-articles in one, on topics like:
Deepeners
Flow-state hypnosis
Waking trance
Brainwashing
And more.
Please check it out :) https://www.patreon.com/posts/132445483
Pre-recorded hypnosis is FUNDAMENTALLY different from live hypnosis, and we learn bad habits by conflating the two.
I think live hypnotists are not done any favors by being led to believe that their patter and narratives need to be "perfect," coherent, and static.
CONGRATULATIONS to everyone for a huge showcase of writing!
28 essays is amazing. I'm seriously proud and grateful.
(I will be contacting people individually but please if you want your essay in a potential online collection/zine, email me!)
Read some amazing works: https://itch.io/jam/psychospiritual/entries
JUST UNDER THE WIRE, I got in my zine for @h-sleepingirl’s hypnokink/spirituality jam. It’s about a formative fetish moment in Bible class and how I have reckoned with respecting that experience. Enjoy!
How one word from the Torah has followed me throughout my kink journey.
I'm excited to announce that PSYCHOSPIRITUAL: a hypnokink/spirituality essay jam is now open for submissions!
Post your writing to the jam, and/or to social media now through Friday! Tag me and I'll boost you :)
I can't wait to read everyone's writing!
A game jam from 2025-06-01 to 2025-06-06 hosted by sleepingirl. Welcome! This is a nonfiction writing-share exploring and honoring your pers
Hypnosis is really good for trick mind reading, but you have to be careful because it DOES sometimes cross into real telepathy
"Haha funny joke" but I guarantee you the people who know what I'm talking about are like "yeah"
Hypnokink Article: "Breaking the Rules"
...We take (and teach) well-meaning axioms at their word in the hypnosis community. But really, to become more advanced, we should learn how to explore the boundaries of the "rules" we take for granted.
Includes many concrete examples of breaking rules :)
On Patreon <3
Hi everyone! I'm excited to share my new personal site with you. This year, I'm working hard to update everything to make it all more accessible.
It links out to everything I've done for the hypnosis community -- books, articles, games, video class, podcasts, zines, art, erotica, more. If you're curious about all the things I've done or looking for new learning material, take a look!
>> https://sleepingirl.info/ <<
Looking for community input :)
After two years, I'm planning some major updates to LearnHypnokink.com and I would love some input from the community!
I'm soliciting for feedback on a) what parts you think need expanding, and b) what concepts you think need to be added.
Thank you so much for your help! Form here :)
New Article: "Elements of Bimbofication"
3k words exploring some philosophical meta-elements to bimbofication! Great stuff to add to your hypnotic patter, or to your own self-identity transformation!
On Patreon (along with dozens of other in-depth hypnokink articles!)
IT'S HAPPENING!
PSYCHOSPIRITUAL is an upcoming nonfiction essay jam (May 4-9) accepting submissions on the overlap between spirituality and hypnokink.
This is an amazing opportunity to create a wholly new pool of shared knowledge!!! I'm so excited! Tell your friends!
Link
I freehanded this mind control poppy because I'm extremely me
(I'm very new to embroidery and I kind of love it)
I talk a big game about my desires but it's like this sometimes
After all this time, hypnosis is still truly incomprehensible to me. How does it feel indescribable like that? How can it be that intense? How can it be real?
And if there isn't still wonder and mystery, what's even the point?
