Call Me Kiwi @glitteringkiwi - Tumblr Blog

I’m doing the dishes

it’s a warm spring day

I watch out the window as my neighbours wiener dog wanders out into the garden in its little blue bandana

I stop, mesmerised.

It’s sniffing flowers — carnations, I think — for quite some time until it becomes excited by a bird overhead and bounces around to chase it’s shadow

the dog returns to the sunlit spot by the flowers and flops over, belly up, to bask in the warm light

“I want to be that dog” I say to myself. “I want to share with the world the peaceful joy that dog must be feeling right now.”

I try to take a picture; my zoom is not enough. I get weird and grab my pigeon-watching binoculars to get a better zoom, line my phone camera up with the lens. And I take one single, illicit, sleepy dog picture.

I hope the ends justified the means.

I bet that dog is having a really nice day.

banchie

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

forest-woman

bigandlong

If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

jae-felidae

Oh hey! Haven’t seen this in forever! Didn’t reblog it when it came across me before, not gonna skip it this time, I need some good vibes.

greentrickster

Dreams and wishes or not, this is too beautiful to ignore. <3

cowgirlpower

cheddar-baby

In cyclops world the teens have a trend where they play "we are young" by fun and when he says "give me a second i" they put a second eye on random celebs like cyclops shane dawson

chilewithcarnage

you craft such intricate tales

owlandfox

mollybeenoel

going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi

my greatest accomplishment in life is that I inadvertently made my friend break up with her shitty boyfriend by throwing her a really fucking awesome birthday party

going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi

okay so I fucking love event planning and decorating and hosting and baking, aka all the elements of a banger birthday party. I am so freaking happy to throw people parties because it means I get to throw a party, then go to a party! yippee!

so my friend's birthday rolled around and I knew she wanted a party because I'd done them for her before, but I wanted to make it extra special because she was turning the big 25. so I did all the regular stuff I am So Excited About: had her roommates let me into her apartment while she was out, put up balloons and homemade garlands and streamers and table decor, made her favorite cake and snack plates and cocktails, ordered catering from a restaurant she loves, got a bunch of our friends to come over to surprise her, wrote her a disgustingly heartfelt card, etc. and then because it was the big quarter century, I was like I gotta do something extra.

now. I do not like clowns. my friend loves clowns. we've gone to the circus together and she's seen me literally close my eyes and hide when the clowns are out in the audience, meanwhile she's screaming and waving at them. so obviously I hired a clown for her birthday. (btw seeing him out of clown costume made me less freaked out because now I knew that the guy under there looks like someone's uncle.)

so she showed up after work totally expecting a party because I'm too paranoid to throw a real surprise party, and obviously loved it. and then I was like btw. there's a clown.

she lost her mind. she was sooo excited. she loved the party and she loved the clown. I was like haha yes I'm getting a good grade in birthday parties and didn't think much of it because frankly I do this a lot, and it's so much fun for me that I don't consider it work. like, I love doing all that for my friends. it's not any kind of sacrifice.

two days later, she texted me that she broke up with her boyfriend.

naturally I was like omg tell me everything I hated that guy let's get coffee. so we did and she told me that for her birthday, her boyfriend of nine months 1) forgot about it and didn't get her anything, 2) got mad at her for not texting him while she was at her party, 3) got mad at her for telling him about the party because it was "passive aggressive", and 4) called her immature and stupid for being excited about a clown at her birthday.

this was all very in character for him. but she'd just come from a lovely birthday party full of her friends who love her and want to put effort into making a nice day for her, where her friend who hates clowns hired a clown just to make her happy even though the party alone would've been plenty. and suddenly this wasn't a boyfriend being kinda forgetful and lazy, it was a glaring incongruity with everyone else in her life. so she finally dumped his ass. and I was soooo freaking happy. so clowns can be good.

impossiblepackage

that relationship was already over, she didn’t even bring her boyfriend to her birthday party at her own apartment

going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi

actually it's worse than that! she knew there would be a party, but not what day. I invited her boyfriend to the party. he said no.

husbanddaughter

hard pill to swallow here but. the normal number of people to have their accounts removed from your platform, without being given any warning or an opportunity after the fact to request any kind of appeal, based solely off of the false reports being made by open and proud bigots and serial harassers, is none. that shouldnt be happening to anyone. and it certainly shouldn't be happening almost exclusively to an extremely vulnerable minority demographic, to the extent that it is noticeable and verifiable that this is the case. and in the event that all of that did happen, repeatedly and consistently, for months on end without reprieve, recourse, or restitution, you should probably have a response a little better than "oopsie woopsie im sorry you feel like we're targeting u tee hee! but please feel secure in the knowledge that we aren't doing any of that ^_^"