Too Old For This College Life

Going back to college 10 years later. My my how things change. These are my exploits and daily challenges.

[markruffalo]

Monday Mood feat. Robert Downey Jr. 

[go-back-to-college]

I would jump in this car in a heartbeat.

But... I have too many time points for anything longer than a 45 minute drive around.

[go-back-to-college]

Why is this so much harder going back to school, working, and doing the mom thing? Exhaustion isn’t even the start of it.

[go-back-to-college]

If I were an enzyme, I’d be a DNA helicase!!

[go-back-to-college]

The Semester Is Coming!!

[go-back-to-college]

I fixed it:

[go-back-to-college]

Buckle up, commrades. It’s story time. I know I always rant about the younger generation, but today, this is all about the older generation.

So, in one of my classes, I have this older woman (older than me!!) that I seem to have had a beef with since the first exam, really. She seems to have a severe power ego problem and only hangs with other people in graduate programs, shunning everyone else. No. Seriously. Everyone that has interacted with her that is NOT in graduate studies often claim she is rude, some going so far as to call her... a bitch.

So, things really started with me trying to be a good neighbor in the beginning. She often sat next to me as both of us are not so well equipped for large classrooms. She obviously has problems seeing, as can be attested by the glasses she keeps putting on and whipping off. I’m legally blind without mine, and mine don’t correct as well as they should (I still squint when the professor writes to the side of the boards) and I am partially deaf in one ear (having just been corrected with a hearing aid, and I’m still adjusting). Okay. Cool. Her cronies often save her a seat up front which often ends up next to me and that’s cool. I can appreciate that. I do similar for a friend of mine.

Now, I always try and be friendly. Smile. If she is asking people behind her questions and they don’t seem to know and I do, I pardon myself and help by giving her the answer which she accepts with disdain or, often, just nods so she can further ignore my poor undergraduate ass and go back to her grown up graduate conversation.

Now, the class before our first exam, I noticed she often used a graphing calculator which, on our syllabus, is strictly forbidden. So I said, “Hey. I know it says we can’t use those, so I just want you to know I keep a spare in my bag just in case you need it.” Those words, honest to god, woke the devil, complete with eye rolling and huge sighs of exasperation.

“Oh my god! I will take out the batteries! I’ve used this in all my calc classes and no one ever had a problem with it. Oh my god! Are you serious! I’ll take them out right in front of you!”

Holy fuck. I was just trying to be nice. I asked the teacher if my calculator was okay to use because I was generally concerned and she was being a fucking drama queen.

Alright. War on. Let’s go, bitch.

Now, she seems to have this idea that she gets to sit directly center of the front row. The class before us has the chairs all piggly wiggly because, well, they are all on casters and you can roll them anywhere you want. It is a very casual feeling classroom. So, as I come in and gather my seat and the one for my friend, there are two people who always sit beside her. Always. I mean, that’s a line up of four people and then the other four grad group sits on the other side. Great. Perfect. Whatever. No problem.

Well, for awhile.

Then she started looking at me. “Can you just move down a smidge?”

Some days I can. I scoot about two centimeters and she seems pleased her power trip worked and shuts up.

Some days, the other three people say, “No. We can’t see the board if we do.” And she hems and haws and sighs and leaves it be... until today.

Now, I have made really good friends with the professor in the class right before. He teaches a super interesting subject that I otherwise never would have been able to take because it wouldn’t fit in my schedule, and I am grateful that he lets me sit in if I want and says, “At least you wont be fighting in the seat scramble for your next class.”

Today, I took him up on the offer. I sat. We discussed Nethack and Linux and other programming noodlings. It was a delight. I was in my seat. I had my seat saved for my friend. I was sitting happy and comfortable, not prepared for the hell that was about to take place.

In comes ol’ Greater Than Thou and pulls her desk FLAT UP AGAINST MINE. As in... our desk tops were touching and she was enjoying erasing every other letter and flicking her pencil dust on me. Honestly, I didn’t care. I was paying attention to the lecture. But she certainly did seem to be erasing a lot just to wriggle both desk tops. But, I was unperterbed!

At one point during lecture, she finally let out an annoyed sigh. “Can you please move over?” Now, my friend and I sit fairly close. We have enough space for one of our bags to sit between us. And this lady usually puts hers between she and I. Had she today, she would not have recieved this comment.

“Actually, it appears you have a lot more room than I do.”

“I’m on top of all her things! I can’t move!”

“Well, neither can I.”

And I went back to lecture. She huffed and puffed. “Wow!” I could hear the eye rolling in her stage whisper while I continued to take notes. And then... SHE MOVED OVER! Because, guess what? There was room!

Now, we were nearly done with lecture and and she suddenly decided to press her desk back against mine.

“Can’t you just move over?”

“I really don’t have space.”

She angrily sighed again, knocking into me. “What kind of game are you playing?!”

“Well, you decided where you wanted your seat, not me.”

Thankfully the teacher ended class not long after, but I will tell you, I was shaking as I was thinking of how to respond to this woman if she decided to approach me after class.

“Aww, here I was thinking that you had the hots for me since you decided to push yourself up so close to me.”

“I’m not sure I understand what kind of passive aggressive power ego game -you- are playing, but you are going to have to decide on your seat AROUND mine as I was here before you. I am not going to suddenly move because you decided after the fact you were unhappy with your choice. Maybe other undergraduates fear you, but I just feel sorry for you.”

“You want a war? Its on, bitch.”

Either way, I have an open invitation at the previous class and plan on taking it up for the rest of the semester. And now that I have finished venting about Ol’ Greater Than Thou, I feel a lot better and plan to return to studying to my finals.

[memesandlaughs]

[go-back-to-college]

Legit. I would love if this were on my exam.

[memesandlaughs]

[go-back-to-college]

Beats Biochemistry!

[memesandlaughs]

[go-back-to-college]

This is too important not to share, hence I am making this visible fully so people may share.

If you’re around my age, you were just on the cusp of HPV vaccines. And by that, I mean you could have one, but they weren’t covered by insurance, and then you quickly aged out of availability within a year or two.

Some information about HPV: the human papilloma virus is one of the most commonly seen STDs with a whopping 1 in 5 women having it. Men don’t even know if they are carriers since it isn’t testable for them. Normally, it isn’t too big of a deal. You will have an abnormal pap smear and they will run it and give you further information about the disease. It may be a version that gives genital warts or has no symptoms. About 90% of cases clear up on their own. But! There are variants. HPV 16 and 18 both carry the ability for cervical cancer. And once you have it? You have it. Those 90% of cases that clear up on their own do not always cover the cancerous varieties. It can lay dormant in your body, unnoticed, and flare up at random. It is difficult to find out where it came from for just that reason, so unless you have a flare up, you may not even test abnormal. But once you do, OBGYN appointments mean watching for any changes.

But the good news is that if you are a kid up to age 27, you can get a vaccine! And yes, those versions are in the vaccine! Isn’t that great?

Well, unless like me, you couldn’t get it and have long since aged out.

Until now! The United States has decided to open the vaccine up to age 45! Already have HPV? Get the vaccine so you don’t get 16 or 18!

This is a super recent development and they are waiting for the updated vaccines, but keep on your doctor’s about it. Let them know you want the vaccine, which is now covered by insurance and not hundreds of dollars.

Why the change of heart? Australia had made it mandatory for all kids just like MMR and other vaccines and they have seen a HUGE decrease in cervical cancer.

So share this with your friends. Talk to your doctor and ask they let you know as soon as the vaccine is available. Get the vaccine. Keep yourself safe and healthy.

And hey, men out there? You can get vaccinated too! My genderless loves can grab up those vaccines as well.

Make love, not cancer!

[go-back-to-college]

***EDIT OF ADDITIONAL INFORMATION QUOTED FROM SOME OF MY AMAZING FRIENDS***

Think you are in the clear because you do not have a cervix to recieve the cancers? Check out these stats a friend gave!

"Virtually all cases of cervical cancer are caused by HPV... About 95% of anal cancers are caused by HPV. ... About 70% of oropharyngeal cancers are caused by HPV... HPV causes about 65% of vaginal cancers, 50% of vulvar cancers, and 35% of penile cancers."

Added bonus for those who missed the vaccination but are thinking of having kids:

"It’s not just cervical cancer. It also helps with laryngeal papillomatos... a condition children can get in utero if their mom has HPV."

That's right, all my little ponies! This vaccine can be a GAME CHANGER! Thank you to everyone who has been reading, talking, and keeping up the dialogue.

[go-back-to-college]

This is too important not to share, hence I am making this visible fully so people may share.

If you're around my age, you were just on the cusp of HPV vaccines. And by that, I mean you could have one, but they weren't covered by insurance, and then you quickly aged out of availability within a year or two.

Some information about HPV: the human papilloma virus is one of the most commonly seen STDs with a whopping 1 in 5 women having it. Men don't even know if they are carriers since it isn't testable for them. Normally, it isn't too big of a deal. You will have an abnormal pap smear and they will run it and give you further information about the disease. It may be a version that gives genital warts or has no symptoms. About 90% of cases clear up on their own. But! There are variants. HPV 16 and 18 both carry the ability for cervical cancer. And once you have it? You have it. Those 90% of cases that clear up on their own do not always cover the cancerous varieties. It can lay dormant in your body, unnoticed, and flare up at random. It is difficult to find out where it came from for just that reason, so unless you have a flare up, you may not even test abnormal. But once you do, OBGYN appointments mean watching for any changes.

But the good news is that if you are a kid up to age 27, you can get a vaccine! And yes, those versions are in the vaccine! Isn't that great?

Well, unless like me, you couldn't get it and have long since aged out.

Until now! The United States has decided to open the vaccine up to age 45! Already have HPV? Get the vaccine so you don't get 16 or 18!

This is a super recent development and they are waiting for the updated vaccines, but keep on your doctor's about it. Let them know you want the vaccine, which is now covered by insurance and not hundreds of dollars.

Why the change of heart? Australia had made it mandatory for all kids just like MMR and other vaccines and they have seen a HUGE decrease in cervical cancer.

So share this with your friends. Talk to your doctor and ask they let you know as soon as the vaccine is available. Get the vaccine. Keep yourself safe and healthy.

And hey, men out there? You can get vaccinated too! My genderless loves can grab up those vaccines as well.

Make love, not cancer!

[go-back-to-college]

When your professor wants you to succeed:

“Dear all, you will need a proper calculator for the exam. I have only one. Please bring extra pens and take enough sugar before the exam. Best luck!“

Take enough sugar. Hell, take ALL the sugar!

[go-back-to-college]

Dear person dressed up as a T-Rex and taking a stroll near Indian Quad at 9pm tonight:

I think I love you.

Signed,

A very entertained senior who needed that good natured feeling that life was going to be all right.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Mothers silently bringing you food when they see you have been studying for a long time will always be the purest form of love.

[go-back-to-college]

And we all have that one roommate or college friend that does the same. There was a day a professor walked into a waiting area in the physics building with a platter of cookies and basically said “a gift on behalf of the faculty” and wandered away. Perhaps not love, but down right fairy magic! Just like running into a bake sale just when you are craving a cupcake.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Teachers will be quick to say that a classroom isn’t a place to sleep, but by that logic a house isn’t a place to study.

[go-back-to-college]

Logic!

[kawuli]

There’s something sort of depressing about looking at a figure and going “yep, two goddamn years of fieldwork went into that.”

Not pictured: bugs, GPS foulups, “who has the measuring tape?”, learning species names in Bambara, sweat, how many people can you fit in one 1980s-era landcruiser? mud, fights about budgets, finding wild honey made by the bugs that incessantly try to get into your eyes/nose/ears and hating them 12% less, explaining the concept of random sampling in French, 14-hour days, walking through waist-high wet grass, why the fuck is “sixty-twelve” a number in French?, how many different ways can you spell one species name?, 37 calls/emails/conversations to get a botanist to match photos and local names to latin species names, hours on @jstor Plants, where the fuck did I put that one excel spreadsheet, why are there two samples labeled the same?, entire rooms of my house full of drying grass…

Science is hard, y’all.

[jstor]

But worth it. Good job!

[go-back-to-college]

I have so much love and understanding of this.

[memesandlaughs]

[go-back-to-college]

How many other ways can you say “this is an invasive species”?

[just-shower-thoughts]

College professors are just regular students who graduated with a degree but never really left

[go-back-to-college]

This is what I want to do! I would love to stay at UAlbany forever!