ast

19| she/they/disaster| indian| bi-chaos|

[goalgappa]

gender crisis is when your maa asks "ladki hai ya aafat" & you choose aafat 🥲

[amygdalae]

we're having sex and you pull out at the end to discover your cock is entirely gone, dissolved (ive digested it like a pitcher plant). bye!

[amygdalae]

You'd unfollow me for my pitcher plant pussy post? After the beautiful night we shared???

[toonlink1210]

WASNT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT. PESIS IS GONE.

[shakespearesdaughters]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

do i ship these characters or do i want them to form a sketch comedy duo

[animentality]

[pukicho]

Unfortunately Q4 of the fiscal year was a disaster so my tumblr posts will be extremely low budget starting now.

[the-disemvoweler]

nfrtntly Q4 f th fscl yr ws dsstr s my tmblr psts wll b xtrmly lw bdgt strtng nw.

[pukicho]

What the fuck is your problem

[oldbutchdanielmolloy]

hey guys if you’re planning on making a vaguepost on the dashboard can you message me with the details and some of the lore behind the vague post you’re making. a vaguepost for the dash and a detailedpost for me. because i like to know what’s going on. if you do this i will automatically take your side because you’ve done the right thing by letting me know what’s up. thanks in advance ❤️

[pukicho]

woke agenda killed my son. They came down and killed him with rocks. They bashed him with rocks.

[princelangqianqiu-deactivated20]

The 'I got to travel to another world and got an existential crisis / trust issues' duo.

[iamonlyhereforthefreefood]

When Everything Everywhere All at Once said “The only thing I do know is that we have to be kind. Please, be kind, especially when we don’t know what’s going on" 

When the Good Place said “Why choose to be good every day when there is no guaranteed reward now or in the afterlife… I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone.” 

When Jean-Paul Sartre said ”‘Hell is other people’ is only one side of the coin. The other side, which no one seems to mention, is also ‘Heaven is each other’. Hell is separateness, uncommunicability, self-centeredness, lust for power, for riches, for fame. Heaven on the other hand is very simple, and very hard: caring about your fellow beings.“

[rosa-nne]

*looks at a girl* oh wow

[dootznbootz]

It saddens me that Helen of SPARTA is mostly known as Helen of TROY. As if she wasn't born, raised, and most likely, died in Sparta. Yes, she was of TROY for a while...But she was able to go back home to where she WANTED TO BE.

[dootznbootz]

I hope you know you just punched me in the fucking face

[dearest-loveliest-elizabeth]

I was fully prepared for mean girls 2024 to not be queer at all, just having Damian and Reneé’s lesbian vibes but oh my god

Gretchen??

Karen just being surrounded by girls

The whole Janis and Regina thing + Janis being canonically queer

All the background queer couples

Damian and that guy

This girl’s reaction to Regina being wet with the water

+ Regina keeping the pride pin

[just-late-roman-republic-things]

So, apparently Emperor Julian wrote what historians call a satire, and what I call a "crossover crack-fic in which the Greek gods get all the Roman emperors together in a room and make them argue about who's the coolest."

This crack-fic has, incredibly, survived. It's about 90% Julian roasting historical figures through the mouth of Dionysus' boyfriend. Favorite bits:

Julius Caesar, Augustus and Tiberius show up and are appropriately shit-talked. (And, for Tiberius, kink-shamed.) Caligula steps through the door and is immediately yeeted into Tartarus before anyone can say anything about him.

Nero comes in with his lyre and Apollo promptly knocks the laurel wreath off his head.

Alexander the Great crashes the party and he and Julius Caesar hate each other on sight.

The gods ask Romulus if any of his descendants are a match for Alexander and Romulus is internally like "Aw, shit."

Alexander almost storms out of the party because he doesn't get to monologue first.

When it's Augustus' turn to make a speech Poseidon doesn't let him have a cup of water because he's still mad about that one time Augustus blasphemed against him 400 years earlier.

The gods tell each of the emperors to Explain Themselves and Marcus Aurelius is like, "But you gods already know everything about us," and they're like "...That's fair."

Cameo appearance from Jesus at the very end, who's apparently best bros with Pleasure in a sort of "sin with one, get forgiveness from the other free!" deal.

[staff]

we fucked up

[pukicho]

how are you successful on tumblr!? You aren’t even in any fandoms

I am the fandom, babe

[fullmetalfisting]

Arguably one of the funniest ways to begin a novel