TUMBLR IS BAD BUT FUN IT'S LIKE LIFE

Hi, I'm Stephan. I post snakes, pretty/amusing things, and my thoughts on various forms of media I consume.

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[isawken]

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

[sreegs]

full screen, no description or any words on the ad whatsoever.

[hobgoblinhero]

So what? Are you too good to see Oprah's Device?

[crystal072619]

Had to share

[tatzelwurming]

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

[e-102]

you’ are biased against my skull

[tatzelwurming]

i’m not having this argument again man

[quasi-normalcy]

Can we all agree in advance that, when Woke 2 hits, we need to make government penis-milking factories a reality, rather than just Jordan Peterson's paranoid fantasy?

[quasi-normalcy]

Woke 2, in fact, needs to *actually* do all of things conservatives claimed Woke 1 was doing.

[quasi-normalcy]

We WILL make litterboxes available in classrooms for children who identify as cats. We WILL introduce tax incentives to film and games studios to depict straight white men as evil and recast legacy characters as Black women with nose rings. We WILL punish your child for assuming male pronouns when referring to Julius Caesar.

[quasi-normalcy]

We WILL replace all corporate HR departments with cultural Marxist political officers enforcing critical race theory-informed diversity-equity-and-inclusion policies, and you WILL go to prison for misgendering trans people.

[covertfolklorewarfare]

[airoehead]

[ducissatenebrarum]

Hieronymus Bosch

[archiveswizard]

He looks a bit different than I imagined.

[doyouknowwhatimeme]

[in-heavens-trenches]

That tag sent me

[grimeclown]

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

[texcritterspizzajamboree]

serious question: can anyone else see this post? am I hallucinating?

[meme-loving-stuck]

this is like Schrodinger’s fucking meme because half the time the pic is deleted and the other half it’s visible

[kaban-bang]

[theehorsepusssy]

[cryptotheism]

Sometimes I get wizard high and pray to god that he doesn't take away the beauty of the world.

You are our last line of defense. If you don't get high and pray it all falls apart.

[sandmandaddy69]

[cali]

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[chilewithcarnage]

[ten-and-donna]

the utter ecstasy of “is that lavENDER?” is what sells it for me

[pulling-aggro]

a level of appreciation for charcuterie the likes of which has never been seen before

[shutinthenutouse]

[estro-boi]

Dammit Scully, 8 young men have inexplicably vanished in this small town alone in the last 3 years, replaced by female doppelgangers who appear to be converging on New York and Portland. We've been getting reports like this from across the country and you just keep laughing and telling me it isn't an X-file. Well I want answers

[vforvalensa]

Scully you're never gonna believe this