HELLYEAH DICKSQUAF

Dead future me wanted to let you know this

[otterandterrier]

this is very unsympathetic of me maybe, but sometimes I see posts that make me go "I think you guys are just making up problems"

[lostcryptids]

[aletheyass]

funniest thing a band called franz ferdinand could do is have their most popular song be titled take me out and by god they did that

[sovietnam]

[margesimpsonannoyedgrunt]

i really wish five hours of sleep was sufficient because going to bed at 2 and waking up at 7 would be heaven but the body keeps score

[valtsv]

i know i can't argue with reality here but it's devastatingly unromantic that blood transfusions only work if you have compatible blood types

[valtsv]

sure i guess it's something that i can transfer my breath to their lungs via a kiss in an attempt to resuscitate or keep them alive but it lacks the visceral intimacy of sharing my blood in their veins you cannot convince me otherwise

[valtsv]

now hold up keep talking actually

[goatfishie]

sorry to be horrifically annoying but this inspired an illustration from me almost immediately

[valtsv]

i know i can't argue with reality here but it's devastatingly unromantic that blood transfusions only work if you have compatible blood types

[valtsv]

sure i guess it's something that i can transfer my breath to their lungs via a kiss in an attempt to resuscitate or keep them alive but it lacks the visceral intimacy of sharing my blood in their veins you cannot convince me otherwise

[valtsv]

now hold up keep talking actually

[ohprcr]

You’re challenged by Outlaw ATEEZ!

[iapislazuli]

idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it

[iapislazuli]

Actually forget what I said. This dream is more important than anything

[marisatomay]

twitter is hell but i really hope it doesn’t actually die because this is in contention for the funniest thing i’ve ever read in my life

[kyatra]

seeing a black and white cow is always so damn awesome it’s like Hey i know that guy.from my kindergarten abcs

[kimtaeraes-deactivated]

ZEROBASEONE Back to Zerobaseone Film

[jame7t]

funniest thing about the “reddit migration” is that I haven’t seen a single post shitting on anyone coming from Reddit. when twitter started bleeding users everyone was firing rent-lowering posts but with redditors skittering about we’ve left the doors open and put out food bowls

[anidealshape]

the r/curatedtumblr -> tumblr migration is so funny to me. it's like going to the zoo and enjoying it so much you climb into the enclosure to live with the monkeys

[spaceboytoy]

White girls

[vympr]

[thesmegalodon]

going from the reddit star wars fandom to the tumblr star wars fandom is giving me insane whiplash. the upside is that people aren’t bitching about every single imperfect detail in the entire franchise, but the downside is that i’ve seen more fanart of obi wan and commander cody tenderly knowing each other than i have ever wanted to in my life in the last three hours and it has probably fundamentally altered the way i interact with the entire franchise

[thesmegalodon]

after the initial shock of being plunged into the icy cold lake of seeing my childhood action figures caressing each others sweaty chests in a gentle, hidden moment after a battle, i’ve been able to get my wits about me and realize that yeah, i’m kinda with it

[datarep]

Average from a million frames of Last Week Tonight

[daggers-drawn]

John Oliver trying to communicate through my dreams to warn me about the oncoming apocalypse.