Goblin Advocate

Pronouns: They/them | Age: Too old, I should have died before reaching 20. | Gender: What are you, a cop or something?

[wishing-winter-star]

worst and most embarrassing message i have ever received... im so ashamed...

[dogpuppy]

[goblinadvocate]

Sometimes I'm a snake I think

[goblinadvocate]

Your D&D campaign needs a little guy, but not just a cute little guy, but a fucked up. Like biologically. Stomach acid breaks down steel, had a rust monster break up some enchanted iron so they could use it for constipation treatment, lives solely off arsenic, got eaten by a giant snake and crawled out smelling better kind of fucked up. The kind of gremlin that the party keeps not so much for its safety, but because having it anywhere else is a town's downfall.

[that-house]

partially-managed mental illness is so fucking funny i'll be sitting around doing my job and suddenly think "wow i hate myself" and immediately get confused because, like, that's not TRUE! i love myself so much. who are you to talk to me like that

[goblinadvocate]

You've gotta be your own gentle parent of the most fucked up kid, like "aww do we need a little nap and a snack soon?"

[kumkaniudaku]

And then you can’t even say shit about bc people start trying to put you in a jacket and shit. Like omg it’s so strict???

[goblinadvocate]

Having a cup of coffee on a lazy saturday with my lovely girlfriend, catching myself mindlessly fantasising about jumping from the balcony head first and dying on impact like "woops, not supposed to do that any more."

[goblinadvocate]

The thing about mentioning that you have a handicap is that it exposes to the people around you that every achievement that they have made is due to luck. This makes them feel less proud of those achievements.

Hence, your difficulties suddenly harm their pride rather than reinforce them, and you existing becomes a threat to their egos.

[goblinadvocate]

Don't think about how it's made, dude. In fact, don't think about what it is. Don't think about the people that made it, their working conditions, and the systems you support with your purchase; don't think about the animals that were tortured to death for this, or how they lived their short lives; don't think about the poison in your food, your toys, and your clothes. Disregard the permanent damage to the environment that the next generation is born into, and definitely don't think about who inevitably suffers from the consequences of the decisions made off of he messaging in your media or rhetoric. People fought for this. People died for this. It's not that deep bro.

How the fuck does anybody not break down from guilt from just fucking existing in this world???

[doomedmutual]

[goblinadvocate]

It'll always be wild to me how much it shook up the west that the thing that the USA has been doing every month for at least a quarter of a century happened to them one (1) time.

[goblinadvocate]

Tie up an oil exec and leave them in the heatwave they've caused.

[tepkunset]

Since Canada is currently trying to sell itself as an "ethical alternative" to Iran's oil, I would just like to remind folks / share some quick information:

More than 50% of Indigenous communities in reserve areas in Canada are at high risk of pipeline spills. When there is a spill, reserves are disproportionately impacted.

The National Energy Board and Supreme Court of Canada has a history of declaring the "public interest and economic interests outweigh Indigenous and treaty rights." Basically, Indigenous peoples don't count enough as "public" to matter.

Pipelines are built without proper consent from the Indigenous Nations they choose to occupy. Keep in mind I say choose, because this is the case even when alternative pipeline routes are suggested that could avoid reserve land. This is a direct, constant, and often violent threat to Indigenous sovereignty.

The MMIW crisis is funded by the oil industry through the creation of worker's "man camps" near reserve land. These "man camps" are nothing but pits of sexual violence and human trafficking of Indigenous women and girls. I am not exaggerating; this is well studied and well documented.

Resources & Sources:

To become an ‘energy superpower’, Canada wants to bulldoze Indigenous rights (START HERE!)

Indigenous Resistance to Alberta Oil and Gas Development Report

When the environment is destroyed, you're destroyed: Achieving Indigenous led pipeline justice

First Nations Consent Ignored as Canadians Asked to Subsidize LNG Expansion

Oil pipelines and food sovereignty: threat to health equity for Indigenous communities

Is Violence against Indigenous Women in “Canada’s interest”? Liquified Natural Gas in B.C., Sexual Violence & Narratives of Terra Nullius

The colonial playbook never ended, Canada’s pipeline deal proves it

Stand together: Alberta's First Nations and non-Indigenous unite against Big Oil

[goblinadvocate]

You need to differentiate between pedophiles (people attracted to children - unwillingly, I remind you) and child rapists (all sexual relations with a child is rape)/consumers of child pornography (of real children). You need to, at a fundamental level, understand that the grouping in modern conservative rhetoric goes:

Child rapists, pedophiles, "sexual deviants", everybody, where each subsequent group contains the former, and where the current political rhetoric is currently setting a separator between group 3 and 4, rather than 1 and 2, with political parties using this grouping to take away the rights of EVERYBODY.

Do not fall for the same propaganda that you are fighting.

[goblinadvocate]

Boss said "Keir Starmer is stepping down."

I said "Let's hope the next one doesn't support a genocide."

Apparently my statement was too political.

[goblinadvocate]

Every part of the internet would be better if it had easier sectioning. Sideblogs? Great idea, but why can I not join a community with it? Why do I have to either have my whole ass exposed or be fully covered? In real life, I keep certain parts of my identity and interests separate from other parts, so why does the grand council of data reapers decide to pretend I'm not multifaceted? I'm not jerking off in the grocery aisle.

[citoyen-rouge]

[dogpuppy]

[goblinadvocate]

Man he owed me like twenty bucks

[stackslip]

we're moving to an internet where children would be banned from reaching out for help and friendship online but abusive parents can post their children's every second online to humiliate and expose them for money with no pushback

[roadhogsbigbelly]

"why do men watch porn instead of just having sex with their girlfriends?" is already silly for numerous reasons, but seeing it being used as like. a feminist talking point is so crazy to me because like of the implication that being in a relationship means being available for sex all the time, which you know. doesn't feel great for women i think.

[goblinadvocate]

A reasonable comeback is something along the lines of "dude, she's a person."