𖧷

오분 컷 완벽한 my makeup tutorial When I get super stressed, 공포영화 좀 볼까? 근데 넌 멀었어, oh, I don't like cherry coke 🩷

[goldenhourdairy]

NOT CUTE ANYMORE

용감한 내 가방, no keyring, no hand mirror Oh, rock will never die, 린다, 린다 자장가 한정판 콩국수 matcha보다 고소해 I'm too shy for all these, 데이트 내내 젤리슈즈 I got Suede on my vinyl, 나의 동화책 I'm not cute anymore (uh-uh) I'm not cute anymore (uh-uh), 안 돼 no more 강아지보단 난 느슨한 해파리가 좋아 (uh-uh) 'Cause I'm not cute anymore

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#lettersinmydairy𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ - answering inbox !!

#mypersonalentries˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ - my works !!

#reentries* ੈ✩‧₊˚* - my reblogs !!

[goldenhourdairy]

"Pretending to Hate You"

(Re uploaded)

# CHAPTER ONE

You were the school's perfect student, while Niki was the boy everyone expected to fail, yet tutoring sessions slowly turned into a secret relationship neither of you could let the world see.

❝ SYNOPSIS : You were the perfect student. Niki was the school's biggest troublemaker. What started as tutoring sessions slowly turned into stolen hugs, hidden kisses, and a relationship no one could know about. Between strict parents, impossible expectations, and the fear of being discovered, the two of you are left wondering if love is enough when the world keeps telling you to hide it.❞

ᛝ ꒰ pairing : n.r x fem!reader

ᛝ ꒰ genre : high school romance, tutoring, secret relationship, slow burn, fluff, angst, opposites attract, slice of life

ᛝ ꒰ word count : 4.8k

ᛝ ꒰ featuring : Chaewon, and Megan

ᛝ ꒰ song playing (🎶) : Pink Matter Frank Ocean, and André 3000

ᛝ ꒰ navigation : 002 , 003 , 004 , 005 , 006 , 007 , 008

You were the kind of student teacher's loved. Always prepared, focused, and just a little above expectations. Perfect notes, near-perfect grades, a spotless reputation.

Niki… was the opposite.

You couldn’t remember the last time he opened a book. His work was rushed or missing, he talked back, ignored deadlines, and treated rules like suggestions. At first it seemed normal.

But lately, it had gotten worse.

Bad enough that his mom started calling you.

Again.

You sighed outside his door. When she opened it, she gave you that same tired, hopeful smile. “Please try talking to him. He listens to you… at least a little.”

You nodded, even if you weren’t sure anymore.

His room was exactly the same, bag on the floor, shoes scattered, him sprawled on his bed, scrolling like nothing mattered.

“You’re unbelievable,” you said.

“Hi to you too,” he replied without looking up.

“Niki.”

That got him. He glanced at you, a slow smile forming the kind that made it hard to stay mad.

“What? Miss me?”

You kicked his bag lightly. “Missing assignments. Your teacher emailed your mom. Again. Do you even care?”

“I’ll do it,” he said, stretching.

“You always say that.”

“And I always listen to you.”

“That’s not the same.”

Silence. Then he grinned.

He was enjoying this.

“Niki, this isn’t funny,” you said. “It’s like you’re doing this on purpose. Against your teachers, your parents-” your voice softened, “against me.”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you down. You landed on the edge of the bed.

“See?” he murmured. “All worked up again.”

“This isn’t-” you started, but he pulled you fully into his lap.

“Niki-”

His arms wrapped around you like it was nothing. And the worst part?

You didn’t pull away.

“You’re cute when you’re mad,” he said, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“I’m serious,” you insisted, though softer now. “You need to try.”

“I will.”

“You always say that.”

“Then give me a reason to.”

You froze. “What does that mean?”

“If we went public, I’d study.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“It could be.”

“Niki- no.”

He pouted instantly. “Why not?”

“You know why.”

And he did-his popularity, the attention, your friends, your parents, their expectations. Everything felt too fragile. Too risky.

“It’s not that simple,” you said quietly.

He didn’t argue. Just pulled you closer.

“You always say no,” he muttered.

“Because I have to.”

He buried his face in your shoulder, then leaned back, still holding you.

“You’re still here though.”

“…Yeah.”

Despite everything you stayed.

And every time, it ended the same.

You in his lap. His arms around you. Your anger fading.

He smiled, softer now. “Then I’ll keep asking.”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t move.

“Focus on your work first,” you said.

“Maybe.”

You sighed.

This wasn’t over.

But for now… you stayed.

The next hour was quieter than either of you expected.

With a dramatic groan, Niki finally reached over and grabbed his backpack from the floor.

"There," he mumbled. "Happy?"

"I'll be happy when the assignments are actually finished."

"You have such high standards."

"I have normal standards."

He laughed under his breath before pulling out a crumpled worksheet. It looked like it had been shoved into his bag weeks ago.

You frowned.

"...You didn't even write your name."

"I forgot."

"How do you forget your own name?"

"It happens."

"No, it doesn't."

"It does to me."

You shook your head, trying not to smile.

"Pen."

He blinked.

"I don't have one."

You stared at him.

"Niki."

"What?"

"How do you come to school without a pen?"

"I borrow yours."

"...You've been stealing my pens."

"They're borrowed."

"You never give them back."

"They become emotionally attached to me."

You pinched the bridge of your nose.

"I can't believe you."

"I know."

Reaching into your bag, you handed him one anyway.

"Last one."

"You say that every time."

"Because I keep hoping you'll return one."

"I won't."

"I know."

He grinned triumphantly before finally starting his work.

For several minutes, the room was filled with nothing but the scratching of his pen and the occasional sigh whenever he actually had to think.

You watched carefully.

"...You're doing question three wrong."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm using creative thinking."

"You're using the wrong formula."

"...Same thing."

"It is absolutely not the same thing."

He slid the paper toward you.

"Then fix it."

"You fix it."

"I don't know how."

"That's why I'm here."

He leaned closer, resting his cheek against your shoulder while watching you solve the problem.

"So that's why..."

"See? It's easy."

"It isn't."

"It is if you pay attention in class."

He hummed.

"I pay attention to one thing."

You didn't even have to ask.

"It isn't me."

"It is."

"Niki."

"What?"

"You need to stop flirting every five seconds."

"But it works."

"It doesn't."

He looked at you with the most unconvinced expression imaginable.

"You've been here for an hour."

"...Because your mom asked me to come."

"Mhm."

"And because your grades are terrible."

"Mhm."

"And because someone has to make sure you graduate."

He smiled knowingly.

"So... you care."

"I care that you pass."

"You care about me."

You opened your mouth to deny it.

Nothing came out.

His smile widened.

"I knew it."

"I never said that."

"You didn't have to."

Before you could respond, his phone buzzed on the bed.

He glanced at the screen before groaning dramatically.

"My mom."

"Answer it."

"I don't want to."

"Niki."

With another sigh, he answered and put it on speaker.

"Yeah?"

His mother's voice came through immediately.

"Are you doing your homework?"

Niki looked directly at you before answering.

"...Yes."

"And who's helping you?"

He pointed at you with a lazy smile.

"She is."

There was a pause.

Then his mother laughed softly.

"I thought so. Thank her for me."

You smiled politely toward the phone.

"It's no problem."

"It is," she replied warmly. "He's impossible."

"I can hear you," Niki complained.

"I know."

Another pause.

"And Riki?"

"...Yeah?"

"I'm proud of you for trying."

His teasing smile faded for just a second.

"...Okay."

She hung up.

The room became unexpectedly quiet.

You noticed the unfinished worksheet still sitting in front of him.

Without saying anything, he picked up the pen again.

This time...

He kept writing.

No complaints.

No excuses.

Just working.

You glanced at him, surprised.

"...What?"

"Nothing."

"You've got that look."

"What look?"

"The 'I'm secretly proud of you' look."

"I do not."

"You do."

"I don't."

He chuckled.

"You smiled."

"...Barely."

"Still counts."

You rolled your eyes, trying to hide the small smile tugging at your lips.

"Just finish your homework."

"Yes, ma'am."

"And after that-"

"I know."

"Missing assignments."

"I'll submit them."

"And study for your math test."

"I'll study."

You raised an eyebrow.

"Promise?"

He met your eyes.

This time, there wasn't a teasing grin or a playful smirk.

Just something sincere.

"...Promise."

For the first time in weeks...

You believed him.

You shifted until you were comfortable, sinking into the softness of Niki's bed as the sound of rain began tapping against the window.

Within minutes, the drizzle turned into a downpour.

You let out a quiet sigh.

Getting home was going to be another problem.

Niki looked over from his desk immediately. He knew that sigh better than anyone.

It wasn't because of the rain.

It was because of your dad.

He knew exactly what would happen if you got home late. Your father would question every minute, every excuse, every delay. He barely let you have friends to begin with. If he ever found out you and Niki were anything more than study partners…

Neither of you wanted to imagine the consequences.

That was why Niki never brought it up.

He simply kept working.

A few more minutes passed before he finished the last assignment, setting his pencil down with a satisfied stretch.

"Done."

You smiled.

"See? You actually can do your homework."

"Only because you're scary."

You rolled your eyes.

"I'm not scary."

"You are when you use your teacher voice."

He climbed onto the bed beside you before gently lying down. Without a word, he leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

Then he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you against his chest.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered.

You closed your eyes and slowly nodded.

He always said that.

And somehow…

Whenever he did, things felt just a little less overwhelming.

The rain continued to fall outside while the two of you stayed there in comfortable silence, holding each other.

For a little while, you forgot about everything waiting for you at home.

Then your phone rang.

The peaceful moment shattered.

You looked at the screen.

Dad.

You answered immediately.

"…Yes?"

"Where are you?" he asked, already sounding irritated. "Are you out of that house?"

Your heart skipped.

"…Yes," you lied quietly, hoping you could make it home before he realized otherwise.

There was a brief pause.

"Good," he replied. "Because it's pouring."

The call ended.

You stared at your phone for a second before sitting up.

"I have to go."

Niki immediately frowned.

"So soon?"

You nodded while slipping your shoes back on.

"If I stay any longer, it'll only make things worse."

He sighed dramatically, still lying on the bed.

"I don't like this."

"I know."

"You'll call me before you go to sleep?"

"I promise."

Only then did he finally nod.

As you walked toward the door, you leaned down and placed a quick kiss on his lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

His cheeks lifted into a small smile.

"Be careful."

The second you stepped outside, the rain soaked you almost instantly.

You pulled your jacket tighter around yourself and hurried down the street, practically running through the storm.

-

By the time your house came into view, it was already ten o'clock.

You slowed to catch your breath before stepping inside, completely exhausted.

The moment the front door closed behind you, the atmosphere felt…wrong.

Every member of the household staff glanced in your direction before quickly looking away.

Your stomach sank.

You already knew.

You were about to be questioned.

Right on cue, your father stepped into the hallway.

His expression was unreadable.

"What took you so long?"

The answer left your mouth almost before he'd finished asking.

It had become second nature.

"Niki had trouble understanding today's lesson," you said. "So I stayed a little longer to help him."

You held your breath, waiting to see whether he'd believe you.

The front door had barely clicked shut before your father stepped closer.

“You stayed three extra hours helping him?”

His voice wasn’t loud, but that somehow made it worse.

“The lesson took longer than expected,” you answered carefully.

His eyes moved over you - the damp hair, the rain-soaked sleeves, the way you were still slightly out of breath from rushing home.

“You could have come home earlier.”

“He didn’t understand the topic.”

“He has teachers for that.”

You swallowed. “I know.”

“Then why are you the one staying late?”

The question hit harder than you expected.

You forced yourself to keep your expression steady. “Because his mom asked me to help. That’s all.”

Your father stared at you for a long moment. The staff had disappeared by now, leaving the hallway painfully quiet.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time at that house lately.”

Your fingers tightened around your bag strap.

“It’s just studying.”

Another long pause.

Then he exhaled through his nose.

“Fine. Go upstairs.”

Relief washed through you so quickly your knees almost weakened.

“And next time,” he added, “be home before it gets this late.”

“Yes, Dad.”

You escaped upstairs before he could say anything else.

Once your bedroom door was shut, you leaned against it for a second and let out the breath you’d been holding.

A hot shower helped wash away the rain and some of the tension knotted in your shoulders.

Afterward, you changed into a pair of shorts and one of Niki’s oversized hoodies.

The familiar scent of his detergent lingered in the fabric.

If your dad ever found out you had this hidden in your room, you’d be dead.

But it was too late for Niki to come over and take it back now.

You sat at your desk and opened your homework. Thankfully, most of it was already finished. You’d done nearly everything during study hall because you’d known you would end up helping Niki after school.

By the time you finished the last question, it was late enough to call him.

The phone rang once.

“Finally!”

You laughed immediately.

Niki launched into a dramatic rant about his math assignment before you could even say hello.

“Who invented algebra? I just want to talk.”

“You survived because I helped you.”

“Exactly. Which means tomorrow I’m doomed.”

You giggled as he continued complaining until his eyes suddenly narrowed.

“Wait a second.”

You froze.

“Are you wearing my hoodie?”

“Maybe.”

His grin turned smug.

“Missing me? Hmm?”

You rolled your eyes. “Shut up.”

“Don’t worry,” he said confidently, “I’d miss me too.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

“And yet you stole my hoodie.”

“Borrowed.”

“Sure.”

You spent the next hour talking about everything and nothing. Niki complained about school, you complained about your teachers, he made you laugh until your stomach hurt, and somewhere in the middle of it all the stress from earlier began to fade.

When you finally checked the time, it was 12:35 a.m..

“We should sleep,” you said reluctantly.

“Five more minutes.”

“That’s what you said twenty minutes ago.”

“Okay, but this time I mean it.”

You smiled despite yourself.

“Goodnight, Niki.”

His voice softened. “Goodnight. And hey…”

“Yeah?”

“It’s going to be okay.”

Your chest tightened.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “I know.”

After the call ended, you turned off the lamp and slid beneath your blankets.

But sleep didn’t come immediately.

Your mind drifted back to his question.

If we went public, I’d study. Then I’ll keep asking.

You wanted to say yes.

You wanted to stop hiding every smile, every call, every stolen moment.

But the thought of everyone finding out made your stomach twist.

His fans would hate you.

Your friends already treated him like a joke.

And your parents…

You’d spent months convincing them that going to his house was just tutoring. A harmless side job.

If they learned the truth...

You squeezed your eyes shut.

You wanted it so badly.

But wanting something and being able to have it were two different things.

It’s okay. That’s what you told yourself.

And Niki always said it too.

It’s going to be okay.

Clutching the sleeves of his hoodie, you finally let yourself believe him.

Then, slowly, you fell asleep.

-

The next morning arrived far too quickly.

Today was the big math exam.

For the first time in a while, you felt genuinely nervous.

Math was one of your best subjects, but exams always came with pressure. One careless mistake could cost you points you knew you were capable of earning.

After getting ready, you made your way to school.

As always, your friends were gathered in the library before first period.

The atmosphere was exactly what you'd expected.

Some students were frantically flipping through notebooks, reviewing formulas one last time. Others had already accepted their fate, laughing together as they scrolled through videos on their phones instead of studying.

Chaewon was somewhere in between.

She hurried from table to table with her notebook clutched to her chest, muttering formulas under her breath.

"I swear I knew this yesterday," she groaned.

Across from her, Megan remained perfectly calm, patiently helping anyone who asked a question.

You smiled as you slipped into an empty seat.

"Morning."

A few of your friends greeted you before returning to their notes.

The moment Chaewon noticed you'd arrived, her face lit up.

"There you are!"

She rushed over, nearly tripping over her own bag.

"Please tell me you remember this."

She shoved her notebook toward you, pointing to a problem she'd been stuck on.

You glanced at it before nodding.

"Yeah."

Without thinking twice, you pulled the notebook closer.

"Okay, so don't start here," you explained gently, pointing to the first line. "You have to simplify this expression first. Once you do that, substituting the values becomes much easier."

Chaewon leaned in, listening carefully as you worked through each step.

Rather than simply giving her the answer, you explained why each step mattered, making sure she understood before moving on.

"Oh!"

Her eyes widened.

"So that's why I kept getting the wrong answer."

You smiled.

"Exactly."

Teaching had always come naturally to you.

You loved watching confusion turn into understanding. Seeing someone finally grasp a concept made you happier than getting a perfect score yourself.

It was why you already knew what you wanted to become someday.

A teacher.

The thought made your smile falter for just a moment.

Your parents had different plans for your future.

They wanted something more prestigious, something they believed better matched your grades and reputation.

And as much as it hurt…

You'd always respected their wishes.

Across the library, Niki stood with a few of his friends, only half paying attention to their conversation.

His eyes kept drifting back to you.

He watched as you patiently explained another problem to Chaewon, smiling whenever someone finally understood.

One of his friends nudged him.

"Dude."

"Hm?"

"You've been staring over there for, like, five minutes."

Niki blinked before casually looking away.

"…Was not."

"You absolutely were."

Meanwhile, completely unaware of the attention, you continued helping your friends, too focused on equations and formulas to notice the quiet smile tugging at Niki's lips.

-

By the time first period arrived, the nervous energy that had filled the library seemed to follow everyone into the classroom.

Today was the math exam.

You settled into your seat, placing two sharpened pencils neatly on your desk before taking one last look through your notes. You weren't trying to learn anything new you were simply calming your nerves.

Two minutes until the bell.

You glanced toward the empty seat beside you.

Niki still wasn't there.

You frowned.

Where is he?

Knowing him, he had probably lost track of time...or overslept.

The bell rang.

Your teacher stood at the front of the room with a stack of exam papers.

"All right, everyone. Bags under your desks. Phones away. Once you receive your paper, don't turn it over until I tell you."

The classroom fell silent as the papers were passed from row to row.

You placed your notes inside your bag and folded your hands neatly on your desk.

Just as your teacher was about to begin-

The classroom door slid open.

"I'm here."

Every head turned.

Niki walked in as if nothing had happened, his bag hanging lazily over one shoulder.

He didn't look embarrassed.

He didn't look rushed.

If anything...

He looked far too relaxed for someone who had just arrived late to a major exam.

Your teacher pinched the bridge of his nose.

"...Nice of you to join us."

"My alarm didn't agree with me today."

A few students snickered.

The teacher simply sighed.

"Take your seat."

Niki wandered over and dropped his bag onto the floor beside your desk before flopping into his chair.

Without another word, your teacher walked over and placed his exam paper in front of him.

At this point, there wasn't much else anyone could do.

You watched the exchange from the corner of your eye before shaking your head.

Sometimes...

You genuinely didn't know what to do with Niki either.

As if sensing your thoughts, he turned and flashed you a smug little grin.

You mouthed, You're unbelievable.

He only smiled wider.

"Begin."

The room immediately filled with the sound of pencils moving across paper.

You took a slow breath before turning over your exam.

The first page wasn't too bad.

Neither was the second.

Question by question, you carefully worked through each problem, double-checking every calculation before moving on.

Beside you, Niki's pencil barely stopped moving.

You tried to ignore him and focus on your own work.

Twenty minutes passed.

Then thirty.

You were halfway through checking one of your longer solutions when you heard a chair scrape against the floor.

You looked up.

Niki stood, walked to the front of the room, and set his paper on the teacher's desk.

"...Finished?" the teacher asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Mhm."

The teacher stared at him for a moment before accepting the paper.

"You may wait quietly outside."

Niki nodded, shooting you one last confident smirk on his way out.

The door clicked shut behind him.

You blinked.

Thirty minutes?

Had he actually answered everything...

Or had he simply given up halfway through?

You resisted the urge to worry about him and lowered your eyes back to your own paper.

No.

You couldn't let him distract you.

You carefully worked through the remaining questions before returning to the beginning and checking every answer again.

Then you checked them a second time.

And a third.

Even after you were fairly certain everything was correct, you found yourself reading over each solution once more.

You'd rather spend every remaining minute making sure than walk out wondering if you'd made one careless mistake.

You finished your final check just as the classroom clock hit the one-hour mark.

Satisfied, you set your pencil down.

There wasn't anything else to correct.

Standing, you walked to the front of the room and carefully placed your exam paper on your teacher's desk.

"Thank you, sir," you said politely.

He gave you a small nod.

"Have a good break."

You smiled before quietly stepping out into the hallway.

-

A handful of students who had finished early were already waiting outside, chatting in small groups until the rest of the class was dismissed.

Niki was exactly where you expected him to be.

Surrounded by his friends.

He leaned casually against the wall, laughing at something one of them had said as if he hadn't just walked out of a major math exam thirty minutes early.

The moment your eyes landed on him, you walked straight over.

"Niki."

His head turned immediately.

A grin spread across his face.

"There she is."

Without another word, you grabbed his wrist.

"Come here."

His friends exchanged amused looks as you started pulling him down the hallway.

No one questioned it.

To everyone else, you were simply Niki's tutor-the quiet honor student who somehow managed to keep him from failing every semester.

One of his friends laughed under his breath.

"Looks like you're getting another lecture."

"Good luck."

Niki only chuckled as he let you tug him away without resisting.

He looked down at your hand wrapped around his wrist before his smile softened.

For once...

You'd been the one to seek him out first.

He couldn't help feeling a little pleased.

"You know," he teased, matching your pace, "you're kind of cute when you're dragging me around."

You ignored him, continuing until you reached a quieter part of the hallway.

Only then did you let go and turn to face him.

Your brows were knit together in concern.

"Did you even try?"

The teasing smile on his face twitched.

He let out a small laugh before catching himself.

"I did."

"Niki."

"I did."

"You finished in thirty minutes."

"I know."

"That exam was supposed to take an hour and a half."

"I know."

"So tell me honestly."

You crossed your arms.

"Did you actually answer every question?"

For the first time since leaving the classroom, the smugness faded just enough for him to realize you weren't angry.

You were worried.

He gave a small nod.

"I answered everything."

"You didn't leave anything blank?"

"No."

"You checked your work?"

"...Mostly."

"Niki."

"Okay, maybe not as much as you would've."

You sighed, rubbing your forehead.

"I swear, you take ten years off my life."

He laughed, unable to hold it in this time.

"But I really did try."

You searched his face, looking for any sign that he was joking.

Instead, you found only quiet confidence.

"So..." he said, tilting his head with a grin that slowly returned, "does that mean I get a reward for actually listening to my tutor?"

You stared at him for a beat.

"...A reward?"

"Mhm."

"What kind of reward?"

He leaned down just enough that only you could hear him.

"I can think of one."

Your cheeks immediately warmed.

"Niki."

"What?"

"We're at school."

"So?"

"So behave."

He laughed softly, hands slipping into his pockets as he watched you try-and fail-to hide the tiny smile tugging at your lips.

There it was again.

Even when you were scolding him...

You were smiling.

For a brief moment, the hallway around you seemed to disappear.

Niki was still standing close, that familiar smug smile lingering on his face.

"So…" he murmured. "Where's my reward?"

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn't hide the smile threatening to appear.

"You really don't give up, do you?"

"Never."

He leaned in just a little.

You hesitated.

Then, after making sure no one seemed to be paying attention, you found yourself leaning toward him too.

Just as your faces were only inches apart-

-

"Y/N!"

You jumped.

Niki barely moved.

Your eyes widened as you immediately placed both hands against his chest, giving him a quick shove.

It barely did anything.

He only took a single lazy step back, a smug grin spreading across his face as if your attempt had amused him more than anything.

"I would've moved even without the push," he teased quietly.

You shot him a warning look.

A second later, Chaewon came rushing down the hallway, looking completely frazzled.

Her hair was slightly messy, and she was still clutching her calculator and notebook against her chest.

"There you are!"

Before you could answer, she grabbed your wrist.

"You have to tell me if I messed up question seven because I swear there were two possible answers, and now I'm overthinking everything."

She didn't even spare Niki a glance.

As far as she knew, he'd simply been standing nearby.

You barely had time to respond before she was already pulling you down the hallway.

"C-Chaewon, slow down-"

"No! If I don't ask now, I'm going to think about it all day."

You laughed helplessly as she continued dragging you away.

Behind you, Niki watched the two of you disappear around the corner.

He folded his arms with an exaggerated scoff.

"So that's where she gets it from."

One minute you were dragging him around the school…

The next, someone else was dragging you.

It suddenly made a lot more sense.

Meanwhile, Chaewon finally stopped once she'd found an empty bench near the windows.

She turned to you immediately.

"Okay. Question seven."

You blinked.

"The one with the quadratic?"

"Yes!"

"You substituted the values before simplifying, didn't you?"

Chaewon's shoulders slowly dropped.

"…Maybe."

You smiled sympathetically.

"That's why it felt like there were two answers."

She let out the most dramatic groan you'd ever heard.

"I knew it!"

"It's okay," you reassured her. "That was only one question. You said the rest of the test went well."

"I think so…"

"You'll be fine."

Chaewon sighed before giving you a grateful smile.

"I seriously don't know what I'd do without you."

You smiled back.

"You'd probably still pass."

"Barely."

The two of you laughed together, the stress of the exam slowly melting away as the conversation shifted from formulas and equations to everything else waiting for the rest of the school day.

-

The final bell echoed through the halls, signaling the end of the school day.

Students poured out of classrooms, filling the campus with conversations, laughter, and plans for the afternoon.

You adjusted the strap of your bag and started the familiar walk home.

Well…

Toward Niki's house first.

His mom had already asked if you could help him review a few more topics before tomorrow's classes.

You had barely made it halfway down the sidewalk when the low rumble of an engine slowed beside you.

A motorcycle pulled up alongside you.

You flinched instinctively before relaxing almost immediately.

You already knew who it was.

Turning your head, you found Niki sitting on the bike, helmet tucked under one arm and a crooked grin on his face.

"Need a ride, Sunshine?"

You blinked.

"I'll survive."

He raised an eyebrow.

"By walking?"

"Yes."

"At this speed, you'll get there next week."

You couldn't help rolling your eyes.

"I'm fine."

He leaned against the handlebars.

"Come on."

"No."

"Why not?"

You glanced around to make sure none of your classmates were paying attention.

"I'd rather be caught dead than have someone see us."

His grin faltered into an offended scoff.

"Wow."

"You know what I mean."

"I do."

He shook his head dramatically before looking back at you.

"You're literally coming to my house anyway."

"…"

"So what's the difference?"

You opened your mouth.

Then closed it again.

He had a point.

If anyone happened to see you walking into his house later, it wouldn't exactly make riding with him any more suspicious.

Niki smirked the moment he noticed your hesitation.

"Exactly."

You let out a long sigh.

"…Fine."

"That's my girl."

"Niki."

"I'm kidding."

You accepted the spare helmet he handed you and carefully climbed onto the back of the motorcycle.

For a second, you weren't sure where to put your hands.

"You know," Niki said over his shoulder, "unless you're planning on falling off…"

"I know."

Your cheeks warmed as you slowly wrapped your arms around his waist.

He smiled to himself.

A moment later, you rested your forehead lightly against his back, the familiar gesture coming naturally despite how flustered it made you.

Neither of you spoke.

You simply stayed there, holding onto him.

Niki's smile softened beneath his helmet.

"Comfortable, Sunshine?"

"…Drive."

He chuckled.

"As you wish."

The motorcycle pulled away from the curb, weaving smoothly into the afternoon traffic while you held onto him just a little tighter, hoping no one from school happened to recognize the two of you.

-

The ride to Niki's house didn't take long.

As soon as the motorcycle rolled into the driveway, the front door swung open.

His mom was already waiting.

"There you two are!"

You climbed off the motorcycle, taking off the helmet with a polite smile.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Nishimura."

"Oh, none of that." She waved a hand. "Come inside first."

You and Niki exchanged a knowing look.

The moment you stepped into the house, she disappeared into the kitchen.

She returned less than a minute later with an armful of snacks.

"Here."

She placed a bag of chips in your arms.

"And these."

A few juice boxes.

"Oh! And fruit."

An apple.

Then a banana.

"And some cookies."

Before you knew it, your arms were completely full.

"O-Oh-thank you…"

You adjusted everything awkwardly, trying not to drop anything.

Niki leaned against the wall, watching the entire scene unfold with obvious amusement.

"You look like you're carrying groceries."

You shot him a look.

"Don't just stand there."

He only laughed.

His mom reached for another snack.

"And maybe these crackers-"

Niki finally sighed.

"Mom."

She looked at him innocently.

"What?"

"Give it a rest."

He walked over and effortlessly took half the pile from your arms while hanging both helmets on the rack.

His mother crossed her arms.

"She needs to eat!"

"Mom…"

"She spends all afternoon trying to get you to study." She pointed at him dramatically before turning to you with a sympathetic smile. "And then she has to go home and deal with…well…"

She didn't finish the sentence.

She didn't have to.

"…Her own stuff."

Your smile softened.

"It's really okay."

"No, it isn't," she said gently. "You're a sweet girl."

You couldn't help giggling.

Niki rubbed the back of his neck.

"You're embarrassing her."

"I know."

"And you're enjoying it."

"A little."

Eventually, the two of you escaped upstairs to Niki's room.

The moment the door closed, he flopped onto his bed.

"I don't feel like studying."

You set your bag on the floor.

"You've said that every single day."

"And?"

"And every single day, you end up studying anyway."

He stretched dramatically.

"But today's different."

"How?"

"I still don't feel like it."

You folded your arms.

"Niki."

"No."

"Niki."

"Nope."

You walked over until you were standing in front of him.

"Please?"

He looked up at you with a mischievous grin.

"…Can I hear you say that one more time?"

You blinked.

"What?"

"Beg again."

Your face immediately warmed.

"No."

"Aww."

"You heard me the first time."

"I know."

He rested his chin in his hand.

"But it sounded cute."

"Niki."

"So…one more?"

"No."

He laughed at the way you looked away, clearly flustered.

"Fine, fine."

With another exaggerated sigh, he finally reached for his notebook.

"I'll do it."

"Thank you."

"Only because you asked nicely."

You shook your head, smiling to yourself as you sat beside him.

About an hour later, Niki was working through another set of practice problems on his own.

Satisfied that he was actually concentrating, you picked up your English assignment and began reading the novel your class had been analyzing.

The room was quiet.

Well…

Until Niki broke the silence.

"Hey."

"Hm?"

He looked up from his worksheet.

"There's a party next week."

You hummed absentmindedly, still reading.

"It's at Jake's place."

You nodded.

"…It's a pool party."

That got your attention.

You lowered the book.

"So?"

"You should come."

You stared at him.

"No."

"…You didn't even think about it."

"I don't have to."

"Why not?"

"You know why."

You looked back down at your book.

"My parents would never let me go."

"You haven't even asked them."

"I already know the answer."

"They might surprise you."

"They won't."

Niki frowned.

"Come on."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"I'll be bored without you."

"You'll have all your friends there."

"I want you there."

You smiled faintly but shook your head again.

"I can't promise anything."

He let out the most dramatic sigh imaginable.

"You never make this easy."

"Because it isn't."

He rested his head on your shoulder.

"Pretty please?"

You laughed quietly.

"You're impossible."

"I know."

Silence settled between you for a moment.

Then you sighed.

"…I'll see what I can do."

His head immediately lifted.

"Really?"

"I said I'll see."

His grin was so bright it was impossible not to smile back.

"I'll take that."

You laughed, returning your attention to your English assignment while, beside you, Niki looked far more excited about the possibility of next week's party than he did about the math homework still sitting in front of him.

[goldenhourdairy]

(🩷) Chapter 2 should hopefully be out later this week! I kinda hate it right now, so I might end up rewriting it. 😭 But yeah, sorry for the wait!

[goldenhourdairy]

(📦) Inbox is currently open for suggestions and requests! You guys can let me know which of my works you'd like to see next or send in any suggestions you have!

[goldenhourdairy]

Master List ˚⟡˖ ࣪ 🩷

Reminder : These are fictional stories. They do not represent the actions, thoughts, and personalities of the public figure.

Mail Box ( ✉️ ) : It's open for recommendations of what you'd like to read. But please note that I refrain from writing smut. And usually most of my work is done in multiple chapters !! I also mainly write Enhypen fanfictions.

Key : 🩰 fluff │🦢 angst │ 📖 series │ 📃 ongoing │ 📄 finished │ ⏰ hiatus | 🥛 oneshot | samu (texts) 💐

Lee Heeseung

Gun To My Head (3.5k) 📄 | 🦢 |🥛

Jay Park

More to be written...

Jake Sim

More to be written...

Park Sunghoon

More to be written...

Kim Sunoo

More to be written...

Yang Jungwon

Everything He Isn't (Ongoing) 🦢 | 📖 | 📃 | ⏰

Nishimura Riki

Teenage Dirtbag (Ongoing) 📃 | 💐 | 🩰 Pretending to Hate You (Ongoing) 📃 │🦢 | 📖 |🩰

[goldenhourdairy]

TEENAGE DIRTBAG

'Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby Listen to Iron Maiden, baby, with me, ooh

secretboyfriend!niki × studious!reader

samu (💐) : secret relationship, teasing, tutoring, protective Niki, fluff, chaotic texting, Y/N trying to survive his antics

These texts are inspired by "Pretending to Hate You." You can read them without having to read the series first, though. Ts isn't in correct order. It's my first samu and I can't do layouts for the life of me. I'll try fixing it later. 🥹💔

Pretending to Hate You (001)

Navigation : 002 , 003 , 004 , 005

[goldenhourdairy]

"Pretending to Hate You"

(Re uploaded)

# CHAPTER ONE

You were the school's perfect student, while Niki was the boy everyone expected to fail, yet tutoring sessions slowly turned into a secret relationship neither of you could let the world see.

❝ SYNOPSIS : You were the perfect student. Niki was the school's biggest troublemaker. What started as tutoring sessions slowly turned into stolen hugs, hidden kisses, and a relationship no one could know about. Between strict parents, impossible expectations, and the fear of being discovered, the two of you are left wondering if love is enough when the world keeps telling you to hide it.❞

ᛝ ꒰ pairing : n.r x fem!reader

ᛝ ꒰ genre : high school romance, tutoring, secret relationship, slow burn, fluff, angst, opposites attract, slice of life

ᛝ ꒰ word count : 4.8k

ᛝ ꒰ featuring : Chaewon, and Megan

ᛝ ꒰ song playing (🎶) : Pink Matter Frank Ocean, and André 3000

ᛝ ꒰ navigation : 002 , 003 , 004 , 005 , 006 , 007 , 008

You were the kind of student teacher's loved. Always prepared, focused, and just a little above expectations. Perfect notes, near-perfect grades, a spotless reputation.

Niki… was the opposite.

You couldn’t remember the last time he opened a book. His work was rushed or missing, he talked back, ignored deadlines, and treated rules like suggestions. At first it seemed normal.

But lately, it had gotten worse.

Bad enough that his mom started calling you.

Again.

You sighed outside his door. When she opened it, she gave you that same tired, hopeful smile. “Please try talking to him. He listens to you… at least a little.”

You nodded, even if you weren’t sure anymore.

His room was exactly the same, bag on the floor, shoes scattered, him sprawled on his bed, scrolling like nothing mattered.

“You’re unbelievable,” you said.

“Hi to you too,” he replied without looking up.

“Niki.”

That got him. He glanced at you, a slow smile forming the kind that made it hard to stay mad.

“What? Miss me?”

You kicked his bag lightly. “Missing assignments. Your teacher emailed your mom. Again. Do you even care?”

“I’ll do it,” he said, stretching.

“You always say that.”

“And I always listen to you.”

“That’s not the same.”

Silence. Then he grinned.

He was enjoying this.

“Niki, this isn’t funny,” you said. “It’s like you’re doing this on purpose. Against your teachers, your parents-” your voice softened, “against me.”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you down. You landed on the edge of the bed.

“See?” he murmured. “All worked up again.”

“This isn’t-” you started, but he pulled you fully into his lap.

“Niki-”

His arms wrapped around you like it was nothing. And the worst part?

You didn’t pull away.

“You’re cute when you’re mad,” he said, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“I’m serious,” you insisted, though softer now. “You need to try.”

“I will.”

“You always say that.”

“Then give me a reason to.”

You froze. “What does that mean?”

“If we went public, I’d study.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“It could be.”

“Niki- no.”

He pouted instantly. “Why not?”

“You know why.”

And he did-his popularity, the attention, your friends, your parents, their expectations. Everything felt too fragile. Too risky.

“It’s not that simple,” you said quietly.

He didn’t argue. Just pulled you closer.

“You always say no,” he muttered.

“Because I have to.”

He buried his face in your shoulder, then leaned back, still holding you.

“You’re still here though.”

“…Yeah.”

Despite everything you stayed.

And every time, it ended the same.

You in his lap. His arms around you. Your anger fading.

He smiled, softer now. “Then I’ll keep asking.”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t move.

“Focus on your work first,” you said.

“Maybe.”

You sighed.

This wasn’t over.

But for now… you stayed.

The next hour was quieter than either of you expected.

With a dramatic groan, Niki finally reached over and grabbed his backpack from the floor.

"There," he mumbled. "Happy?"

"I'll be happy when the assignments are actually finished."

"You have such high standards."

"I have normal standards."

He laughed under his breath before pulling out a crumpled worksheet. It looked like it had been shoved into his bag weeks ago.

You frowned.

"...You didn't even write your name."

"I forgot."

"How do you forget your own name?"

"It happens."

"No, it doesn't."

"It does to me."

You shook your head, trying not to smile.

"Pen."

He blinked.

"I don't have one."

You stared at him.

"Niki."

"What?"

"How do you come to school without a pen?"

"I borrow yours."

"...You've been stealing my pens."

"They're borrowed."

"You never give them back."

"They become emotionally attached to me."

You pinched the bridge of your nose.

"I can't believe you."

"I know."

Reaching into your bag, you handed him one anyway.

"Last one."

"You say that every time."

"Because I keep hoping you'll return one."

"I won't."

"I know."

He grinned triumphantly before finally starting his work.

For several minutes, the room was filled with nothing but the scratching of his pen and the occasional sigh whenever he actually had to think.

You watched carefully.

"...You're doing question three wrong."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm using creative thinking."

"You're using the wrong formula."

"...Same thing."

"It is absolutely not the same thing."

He slid the paper toward you.

"Then fix it."

"You fix it."

"I don't know how."

"That's why I'm here."

He leaned closer, resting his cheek against your shoulder while watching you solve the problem.

"So that's why..."

"See? It's easy."

"It isn't."

"It is if you pay attention in class."

He hummed.

"I pay attention to one thing."

You didn't even have to ask.

"It isn't me."

"It is."

"Niki."

"What?"

"You need to stop flirting every five seconds."

"But it works."

"It doesn't."

He looked at you with the most unconvinced expression imaginable.

"You've been here for an hour."

"...Because your mom asked me to come."

"Mhm."

"And because your grades are terrible."

"Mhm."

"And because someone has to make sure you graduate."

He smiled knowingly.

"So... you care."

"I care that you pass."

"You care about me."

You opened your mouth to deny it.

Nothing came out.

His smile widened.

"I knew it."

"I never said that."

"You didn't have to."

Before you could respond, his phone buzzed on the bed.

He glanced at the screen before groaning dramatically.

"My mom."

"Answer it."

"I don't want to."

"Niki."

With another sigh, he answered and put it on speaker.

"Yeah?"

His mother's voice came through immediately.

"Are you doing your homework?"

Niki looked directly at you before answering.

"...Yes."

"And who's helping you?"

He pointed at you with a lazy smile.

"She is."

There was a pause.

Then his mother laughed softly.

"I thought so. Thank her for me."

You smiled politely toward the phone.

"It's no problem."

"It is," she replied warmly. "He's impossible."

"I can hear you," Niki complained.

"I know."

Another pause.

"And Riki?"

"...Yeah?"

"I'm proud of you for trying."

His teasing smile faded for just a second.

"...Okay."

She hung up.

The room became unexpectedly quiet.

You noticed the unfinished worksheet still sitting in front of him.

Without saying anything, he picked up the pen again.

This time...

He kept writing.

No complaints.

No excuses.

Just working.

You glanced at him, surprised.

"...What?"

"Nothing."

"You've got that look."

"What look?"

"The 'I'm secretly proud of you' look."

"I do not."

"You do."

"I don't."

He chuckled.

"You smiled."

"...Barely."

"Still counts."

You rolled your eyes, trying to hide the small smile tugging at your lips.

"Just finish your homework."

"Yes, ma'am."

"And after that-"

"I know."

"Missing assignments."

"I'll submit them."

"And study for your math test."

"I'll study."

You raised an eyebrow.

"Promise?"

He met your eyes.

This time, there wasn't a teasing grin or a playful smirk.

Just something sincere.

"...Promise."

For the first time in weeks...

You believed him.

You shifted until you were comfortable, sinking into the softness of Niki's bed as the sound of rain began tapping against the window.

Within minutes, the drizzle turned into a downpour.

You let out a quiet sigh.

Getting home was going to be another problem.

Niki looked over from his desk immediately. He knew that sigh better than anyone.

It wasn't because of the rain.

It was because of your dad.

He knew exactly what would happen if you got home late. Your father would question every minute, every excuse, every delay. He barely let you have friends to begin with. If he ever found out you and Niki were anything more than study partners…

Neither of you wanted to imagine the consequences.

That was why Niki never brought it up.

He simply kept working.

A few more minutes passed before he finished the last assignment, setting his pencil down with a satisfied stretch.

"Done."

You smiled.

"See? You actually can do your homework."

"Only because you're scary."

You rolled your eyes.

"I'm not scary."

"You are when you use your teacher voice."

He climbed onto the bed beside you before gently lying down. Without a word, he leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

Then he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you against his chest.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered.

You closed your eyes and slowly nodded.

He always said that.

And somehow…

Whenever he did, things felt just a little less overwhelming.

The rain continued to fall outside while the two of you stayed there in comfortable silence, holding each other.

For a little while, you forgot about everything waiting for you at home.

Then your phone rang.

The peaceful moment shattered.

You looked at the screen.

Dad.

You answered immediately.

"…Yes?"

"Where are you?" he asked, already sounding irritated. "Are you out of that house?"

Your heart skipped.

"…Yes," you lied quietly, hoping you could make it home before he realized otherwise.

There was a brief pause.

"Good," he replied. "Because it's pouring."

The call ended.

You stared at your phone for a second before sitting up.

"I have to go."

Niki immediately frowned.

"So soon?"

You nodded while slipping your shoes back on.

"If I stay any longer, it'll only make things worse."

He sighed dramatically, still lying on the bed.

"I don't like this."

"I know."

"You'll call me before you go to sleep?"

"I promise."

Only then did he finally nod.

As you walked toward the door, you leaned down and placed a quick kiss on his lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

His cheeks lifted into a small smile.

"Be careful."

The second you stepped outside, the rain soaked you almost instantly.

You pulled your jacket tighter around yourself and hurried down the street, practically running through the storm.

-

By the time your house came into view, it was already ten o'clock.

You slowed to catch your breath before stepping inside, completely exhausted.

The moment the front door closed behind you, the atmosphere felt…wrong.

Every member of the household staff glanced in your direction before quickly looking away.

Your stomach sank.

You already knew.

You were about to be questioned.

Right on cue, your father stepped into the hallway.

His expression was unreadable.

"What took you so long?"

The answer left your mouth almost before he'd finished asking.

It had become second nature.

"Niki had trouble understanding today's lesson," you said. "So I stayed a little longer to help him."

You held your breath, waiting to see whether he'd believe you.

The front door had barely clicked shut before your father stepped closer.

“You stayed three extra hours helping him?”

His voice wasn’t loud, but that somehow made it worse.

“The lesson took longer than expected,” you answered carefully.

His eyes moved over you - the damp hair, the rain-soaked sleeves, the way you were still slightly out of breath from rushing home.

“You could have come home earlier.”

“He didn’t understand the topic.”

“He has teachers for that.”

You swallowed. “I know.”

“Then why are you the one staying late?”

The question hit harder than you expected.

You forced yourself to keep your expression steady. “Because his mom asked me to help. That’s all.”

Your father stared at you for a long moment. The staff had disappeared by now, leaving the hallway painfully quiet.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time at that house lately.”

Your fingers tightened around your bag strap.

“It’s just studying.”

Another long pause.

Then he exhaled through his nose.

“Fine. Go upstairs.”

Relief washed through you so quickly your knees almost weakened.

“And next time,” he added, “be home before it gets this late.”

“Yes, Dad.”

You escaped upstairs before he could say anything else.

Once your bedroom door was shut, you leaned against it for a second and let out the breath you’d been holding.

A hot shower helped wash away the rain and some of the tension knotted in your shoulders.

Afterward, you changed into a pair of shorts and one of Niki’s oversized hoodies.

The familiar scent of his detergent lingered in the fabric.

If your dad ever found out you had this hidden in your room, you’d be dead.

But it was too late for Niki to come over and take it back now.

You sat at your desk and opened your homework. Thankfully, most of it was already finished. You’d done nearly everything during study hall because you’d known you would end up helping Niki after school.

By the time you finished the last question, it was late enough to call him.

The phone rang once.

“Finally!”

You laughed immediately.

Niki launched into a dramatic rant about his math assignment before you could even say hello.

“Who invented algebra? I just want to talk.”

“You survived because I helped you.”

“Exactly. Which means tomorrow I’m doomed.”

You giggled as he continued complaining until his eyes suddenly narrowed.

“Wait a second.”

You froze.

“Are you wearing my hoodie?”

“Maybe.”

His grin turned smug.

“Missing me? Hmm?”

You rolled your eyes. “Shut up.”

“Don’t worry,” he said confidently, “I’d miss me too.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

“And yet you stole my hoodie.”

“Borrowed.”

“Sure.”

You spent the next hour talking about everything and nothing. Niki complained about school, you complained about your teachers, he made you laugh until your stomach hurt, and somewhere in the middle of it all the stress from earlier began to fade.

When you finally checked the time, it was 12:35 a.m..

“We should sleep,” you said reluctantly.

“Five more minutes.”

“That’s what you said twenty minutes ago.”

“Okay, but this time I mean it.”

You smiled despite yourself.

“Goodnight, Niki.”

His voice softened. “Goodnight. And hey…”

“Yeah?”

“It’s going to be okay.”

Your chest tightened.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “I know.”

After the call ended, you turned off the lamp and slid beneath your blankets.

But sleep didn’t come immediately.

Your mind drifted back to his question.

If we went public, I’d study. Then I’ll keep asking.

You wanted to say yes.

You wanted to stop hiding every smile, every call, every stolen moment.

But the thought of everyone finding out made your stomach twist.

His fans would hate you.

Your friends already treated him like a joke.

And your parents…

You’d spent months convincing them that going to his house was just tutoring. A harmless side job.

If they learned the truth...

You squeezed your eyes shut.

You wanted it so badly.

But wanting something and being able to have it were two different things.

It’s okay. That’s what you told yourself.

And Niki always said it too.

It’s going to be okay.

Clutching the sleeves of his hoodie, you finally let yourself believe him.

Then, slowly, you fell asleep.

-

The next morning arrived far too quickly.

Today was the big math exam.

For the first time in a while, you felt genuinely nervous.

Math was one of your best subjects, but exams always came with pressure. One careless mistake could cost you points you knew you were capable of earning.

After getting ready, you made your way to school.

As always, your friends were gathered in the library before first period.

The atmosphere was exactly what you'd expected.

Some students were frantically flipping through notebooks, reviewing formulas one last time. Others had already accepted their fate, laughing together as they scrolled through videos on their phones instead of studying.

Chaewon was somewhere in between.

She hurried from table to table with her notebook clutched to her chest, muttering formulas under her breath.

"I swear I knew this yesterday," she groaned.

Across from her, Megan remained perfectly calm, patiently helping anyone who asked a question.

You smiled as you slipped into an empty seat.

"Morning."

A few of your friends greeted you before returning to their notes.

The moment Chaewon noticed you'd arrived, her face lit up.

"There you are!"

She rushed over, nearly tripping over her own bag.

"Please tell me you remember this."

She shoved her notebook toward you, pointing to a problem she'd been stuck on.

You glanced at it before nodding.

"Yeah."

Without thinking twice, you pulled the notebook closer.

"Okay, so don't start here," you explained gently, pointing to the first line. "You have to simplify this expression first. Once you do that, substituting the values becomes much easier."

Chaewon leaned in, listening carefully as you worked through each step.

Rather than simply giving her the answer, you explained why each step mattered, making sure she understood before moving on.

"Oh!"

Her eyes widened.

"So that's why I kept getting the wrong answer."

You smiled.

"Exactly."

Teaching had always come naturally to you.

You loved watching confusion turn into understanding. Seeing someone finally grasp a concept made you happier than getting a perfect score yourself.

It was why you already knew what you wanted to become someday.

A teacher.

The thought made your smile falter for just a moment.

Your parents had different plans for your future.

They wanted something more prestigious, something they believed better matched your grades and reputation.

And as much as it hurt…

You'd always respected their wishes.

Across the library, Niki stood with a few of his friends, only half paying attention to their conversation.

His eyes kept drifting back to you.

He watched as you patiently explained another problem to Chaewon, smiling whenever someone finally understood.

One of his friends nudged him.

"Dude."

"Hm?"

"You've been staring over there for, like, five minutes."

Niki blinked before casually looking away.

"…Was not."

"You absolutely were."

Meanwhile, completely unaware of the attention, you continued helping your friends, too focused on equations and formulas to notice the quiet smile tugging at Niki's lips.

-

By the time first period arrived, the nervous energy that had filled the library seemed to follow everyone into the classroom.

Today was the math exam.

You settled into your seat, placing two sharpened pencils neatly on your desk before taking one last look through your notes. You weren't trying to learn anything new you were simply calming your nerves.

Two minutes until the bell.

You glanced toward the empty seat beside you.

Niki still wasn't there.

You frowned.

Where is he?

Knowing him, he had probably lost track of time...or overslept.

The bell rang.

Your teacher stood at the front of the room with a stack of exam papers.

"All right, everyone. Bags under your desks. Phones away. Once you receive your paper, don't turn it over until I tell you."

The classroom fell silent as the papers were passed from row to row.

You placed your notes inside your bag and folded your hands neatly on your desk.

Just as your teacher was about to begin-

The classroom door slid open.

"I'm here."

Every head turned.

Niki walked in as if nothing had happened, his bag hanging lazily over one shoulder.

He didn't look embarrassed.

He didn't look rushed.

If anything...

He looked far too relaxed for someone who had just arrived late to a major exam.

Your teacher pinched the bridge of his nose.

"...Nice of you to join us."

"My alarm didn't agree with me today."

A few students snickered.

The teacher simply sighed.

"Take your seat."

Niki wandered over and dropped his bag onto the floor beside your desk before flopping into his chair.

Without another word, your teacher walked over and placed his exam paper in front of him.

At this point, there wasn't much else anyone could do.

You watched the exchange from the corner of your eye before shaking your head.

Sometimes...

You genuinely didn't know what to do with Niki either.

As if sensing your thoughts, he turned and flashed you a smug little grin.

You mouthed, You're unbelievable.

He only smiled wider.

"Begin."

The room immediately filled with the sound of pencils moving across paper.

You took a slow breath before turning over your exam.

The first page wasn't too bad.

Neither was the second.

Question by question, you carefully worked through each problem, double-checking every calculation before moving on.

Beside you, Niki's pencil barely stopped moving.

You tried to ignore him and focus on your own work.

Twenty minutes passed.

Then thirty.

You were halfway through checking one of your longer solutions when you heard a chair scrape against the floor.

You looked up.

Niki stood, walked to the front of the room, and set his paper on the teacher's desk.

"...Finished?" the teacher asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Mhm."

The teacher stared at him for a moment before accepting the paper.

"You may wait quietly outside."

Niki nodded, shooting you one last confident smirk on his way out.

The door clicked shut behind him.

You blinked.

Thirty minutes?

Had he actually answered everything...

Or had he simply given up halfway through?

You resisted the urge to worry about him and lowered your eyes back to your own paper.

No.

You couldn't let him distract you.

You carefully worked through the remaining questions before returning to the beginning and checking every answer again.

Then you checked them a second time.

And a third.

Even after you were fairly certain everything was correct, you found yourself reading over each solution once more.

You'd rather spend every remaining minute making sure than walk out wondering if you'd made one careless mistake.

You finished your final check just as the classroom clock hit the one-hour mark.

Satisfied, you set your pencil down.

There wasn't anything else to correct.

Standing, you walked to the front of the room and carefully placed your exam paper on your teacher's desk.

"Thank you, sir," you said politely.

He gave you a small nod.

"Have a good break."

You smiled before quietly stepping out into the hallway.

-

A handful of students who had finished early were already waiting outside, chatting in small groups until the rest of the class was dismissed.

Niki was exactly where you expected him to be.

Surrounded by his friends.

He leaned casually against the wall, laughing at something one of them had said as if he hadn't just walked out of a major math exam thirty minutes early.

The moment your eyes landed on him, you walked straight over.

"Niki."

His head turned immediately.

A grin spread across his face.

"There she is."

Without another word, you grabbed his wrist.

"Come here."

His friends exchanged amused looks as you started pulling him down the hallway.

No one questioned it.

To everyone else, you were simply Niki's tutor-the quiet honor student who somehow managed to keep him from failing every semester.

One of his friends laughed under his breath.

"Looks like you're getting another lecture."

"Good luck."

Niki only chuckled as he let you tug him away without resisting.

He looked down at your hand wrapped around his wrist before his smile softened.

For once...

You'd been the one to seek him out first.

He couldn't help feeling a little pleased.

"You know," he teased, matching your pace, "you're kind of cute when you're dragging me around."

You ignored him, continuing until you reached a quieter part of the hallway.

Only then did you let go and turn to face him.

Your brows were knit together in concern.

"Did you even try?"

The teasing smile on his face twitched.

He let out a small laugh before catching himself.

"I did."

"Niki."

"I did."

"You finished in thirty minutes."

"I know."

"That exam was supposed to take an hour and a half."

"I know."

"So tell me honestly."

You crossed your arms.

"Did you actually answer every question?"

For the first time since leaving the classroom, the smugness faded just enough for him to realize you weren't angry.

You were worried.

He gave a small nod.

"I answered everything."

"You didn't leave anything blank?"

"No."

"You checked your work?"

"...Mostly."

"Niki."

"Okay, maybe not as much as you would've."

You sighed, rubbing your forehead.

"I swear, you take ten years off my life."

He laughed, unable to hold it in this time.

"But I really did try."

You searched his face, looking for any sign that he was joking.

Instead, you found only quiet confidence.

"So..." he said, tilting his head with a grin that slowly returned, "does that mean I get a reward for actually listening to my tutor?"

You stared at him for a beat.

"...A reward?"

"Mhm."

"What kind of reward?"

He leaned down just enough that only you could hear him.

"I can think of one."

Your cheeks immediately warmed.

"Niki."

"What?"

"We're at school."

"So?"

"So behave."

He laughed softly, hands slipping into his pockets as he watched you try-and fail-to hide the tiny smile tugging at your lips.

There it was again.

Even when you were scolding him...

You were smiling.

For a brief moment, the hallway around you seemed to disappear.

Niki was still standing close, that familiar smug smile lingering on his face.

"So…" he murmured. "Where's my reward?"

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn't hide the smile threatening to appear.

"You really don't give up, do you?"

"Never."

He leaned in just a little.

You hesitated.

Then, after making sure no one seemed to be paying attention, you found yourself leaning toward him too.

Just as your faces were only inches apart-

-

"Y/N!"

You jumped.

Niki barely moved.

Your eyes widened as you immediately placed both hands against his chest, giving him a quick shove.

It barely did anything.

He only took a single lazy step back, a smug grin spreading across his face as if your attempt had amused him more than anything.

"I would've moved even without the push," he teased quietly.

You shot him a warning look.

A second later, Chaewon came rushing down the hallway, looking completely frazzled.

Her hair was slightly messy, and she was still clutching her calculator and notebook against her chest.

"There you are!"

Before you could answer, she grabbed your wrist.

"You have to tell me if I messed up question seven because I swear there were two possible answers, and now I'm overthinking everything."

She didn't even spare Niki a glance.

As far as she knew, he'd simply been standing nearby.

You barely had time to respond before she was already pulling you down the hallway.

"C-Chaewon, slow down-"

"No! If I don't ask now, I'm going to think about it all day."

You laughed helplessly as she continued dragging you away.

Behind you, Niki watched the two of you disappear around the corner.

He folded his arms with an exaggerated scoff.

"So that's where she gets it from."

One minute you were dragging him around the school…

The next, someone else was dragging you.

It suddenly made a lot more sense.

Meanwhile, Chaewon finally stopped once she'd found an empty bench near the windows.

She turned to you immediately.

"Okay. Question seven."

You blinked.

"The one with the quadratic?"

"Yes!"

"You substituted the values before simplifying, didn't you?"

Chaewon's shoulders slowly dropped.

"…Maybe."

You smiled sympathetically.

"That's why it felt like there were two answers."

She let out the most dramatic groan you'd ever heard.

"I knew it!"

"It's okay," you reassured her. "That was only one question. You said the rest of the test went well."

"I think so…"

"You'll be fine."

Chaewon sighed before giving you a grateful smile.

"I seriously don't know what I'd do without you."

You smiled back.

"You'd probably still pass."

"Barely."

The two of you laughed together, the stress of the exam slowly melting away as the conversation shifted from formulas and equations to everything else waiting for the rest of the school day.

-

The final bell echoed through the halls, signaling the end of the school day.

Students poured out of classrooms, filling the campus with conversations, laughter, and plans for the afternoon.

You adjusted the strap of your bag and started the familiar walk home.

Well…

Toward Niki's house first.

His mom had already asked if you could help him review a few more topics before tomorrow's classes.

You had barely made it halfway down the sidewalk when the low rumble of an engine slowed beside you.

A motorcycle pulled up alongside you.

You flinched instinctively before relaxing almost immediately.

You already knew who it was.

Turning your head, you found Niki sitting on the bike, helmet tucked under one arm and a crooked grin on his face.

"Need a ride, Sunshine?"

You blinked.

"I'll survive."

He raised an eyebrow.

"By walking?"

"Yes."

"At this speed, you'll get there next week."

You couldn't help rolling your eyes.

"I'm fine."

He leaned against the handlebars.

"Come on."

"No."

"Why not?"

You glanced around to make sure none of your classmates were paying attention.

"I'd rather be caught dead than have someone see us."

His grin faltered into an offended scoff.

"Wow."

"You know what I mean."

"I do."

He shook his head dramatically before looking back at you.

"You're literally coming to my house anyway."

"…"

"So what's the difference?"

You opened your mouth.

Then closed it again.

He had a point.

If anyone happened to see you walking into his house later, it wouldn't exactly make riding with him any more suspicious.

Niki smirked the moment he noticed your hesitation.

"Exactly."

You let out a long sigh.

"…Fine."

"That's my girl."

"Niki."

"I'm kidding."

You accepted the spare helmet he handed you and carefully climbed onto the back of the motorcycle.

For a second, you weren't sure where to put your hands.

"You know," Niki said over his shoulder, "unless you're planning on falling off…"

"I know."

Your cheeks warmed as you slowly wrapped your arms around his waist.

He smiled to himself.

A moment later, you rested your forehead lightly against his back, the familiar gesture coming naturally despite how flustered it made you.

Neither of you spoke.

You simply stayed there, holding onto him.

Niki's smile softened beneath his helmet.

"Comfortable, Sunshine?"

"…Drive."

He chuckled.

"As you wish."

The motorcycle pulled away from the curb, weaving smoothly into the afternoon traffic while you held onto him just a little tighter, hoping no one from school happened to recognize the two of you.

-

The ride to Niki's house didn't take long.

As soon as the motorcycle rolled into the driveway, the front door swung open.

His mom was already waiting.

"There you two are!"

You climbed off the motorcycle, taking off the helmet with a polite smile.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Nishimura."

"Oh, none of that." She waved a hand. "Come inside first."

You and Niki exchanged a knowing look.

The moment you stepped into the house, she disappeared into the kitchen.

She returned less than a minute later with an armful of snacks.

"Here."

She placed a bag of chips in your arms.

"And these."

A few juice boxes.

"Oh! And fruit."

An apple.

Then a banana.

"And some cookies."

Before you knew it, your arms were completely full.

"O-Oh-thank you…"

You adjusted everything awkwardly, trying not to drop anything.

Niki leaned against the wall, watching the entire scene unfold with obvious amusement.

"You look like you're carrying groceries."

You shot him a look.

"Don't just stand there."

He only laughed.

His mom reached for another snack.

"And maybe these crackers-"

Niki finally sighed.

"Mom."

She looked at him innocently.

"What?"

"Give it a rest."

He walked over and effortlessly took half the pile from your arms while hanging both helmets on the rack.

His mother crossed her arms.

"She needs to eat!"

"Mom…"

"She spends all afternoon trying to get you to study." She pointed at him dramatically before turning to you with a sympathetic smile. "And then she has to go home and deal with…well…"

She didn't finish the sentence.

She didn't have to.

"…Her own stuff."

Your smile softened.

"It's really okay."

"No, it isn't," she said gently. "You're a sweet girl."

You couldn't help giggling.

Niki rubbed the back of his neck.

"You're embarrassing her."

"I know."

"And you're enjoying it."

"A little."

Eventually, the two of you escaped upstairs to Niki's room.

The moment the door closed, he flopped onto his bed.

"I don't feel like studying."

You set your bag on the floor.

"You've said that every single day."

"And?"

"And every single day, you end up studying anyway."

He stretched dramatically.

"But today's different."

"How?"

"I still don't feel like it."

You folded your arms.

"Niki."

"No."

"Niki."

"Nope."

You walked over until you were standing in front of him.

"Please?"

He looked up at you with a mischievous grin.

"…Can I hear you say that one more time?"

You blinked.

"What?"

"Beg again."

Your face immediately warmed.

"No."

"Aww."

"You heard me the first time."

"I know."

He rested his chin in his hand.

"But it sounded cute."

"Niki."

"So…one more?"

"No."

He laughed at the way you looked away, clearly flustered.

"Fine, fine."

With another exaggerated sigh, he finally reached for his notebook.

"I'll do it."

"Thank you."

"Only because you asked nicely."

You shook your head, smiling to yourself as you sat beside him.

About an hour later, Niki was working through another set of practice problems on his own.

Satisfied that he was actually concentrating, you picked up your English assignment and began reading the novel your class had been analyzing.

The room was quiet.

Well…

Until Niki broke the silence.

"Hey."

"Hm?"

He looked up from his worksheet.

"There's a party next week."

You hummed absentmindedly, still reading.

"It's at Jake's place."

You nodded.

"…It's a pool party."

That got your attention.

You lowered the book.

"So?"

"You should come."

You stared at him.

"No."

"…You didn't even think about it."

"I don't have to."

"Why not?"

"You know why."

You looked back down at your book.

"My parents would never let me go."

"You haven't even asked them."

"I already know the answer."

"They might surprise you."

"They won't."

Niki frowned.

"Come on."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"I'll be bored without you."

"You'll have all your friends there."

"I want you there."

You smiled faintly but shook your head again.

"I can't promise anything."

He let out the most dramatic sigh imaginable.

"You never make this easy."

"Because it isn't."

He rested his head on your shoulder.

"Pretty please?"

You laughed quietly.

"You're impossible."

"I know."

Silence settled between you for a moment.

Then you sighed.

"…I'll see what I can do."

His head immediately lifted.

"Really?"

"I said I'll see."

His grin was so bright it was impossible not to smile back.

"I'll take that."

You laughed, returning your attention to your English assignment while, beside you, Niki looked far more excited about the possibility of next week's party than he did about the math homework still sitting in front of him.

[goldenhourdairy]

"Gun To My Head"

(이희승) L.H.S.

Being divisible It's something we never feel Yes, we were invincible 'Til my second record deal Now I'm in another world I feared I was missing out I gave up loving you To pretend that I'm famous now

❝ SYNOPSIS : When Heeseung's dream of becoming an idol finally comes true, he makes the painful decision to leave behind the person who supported him from the very beginning - believing she deserves better than a life of waiting. A year later, neither of them has truly moved on. When fate brings them face-to-face again at one of his concerts, buried feelings resurface, and they must decide if love deserves a second chance.❞

ᛝ ꒰ pairing : Lee Heeseung x fem!reader

ᛝ ꒰ genre : Angst, Romance, Second Chance, Idol AU

ᛝ ꒰ word count : 3.5k

ᛝ ꒰ featuring : Jake Sim, & Kim Chaewon

ᛝ ꒰ song playing (🎶) : Gun To My Head Malcolm Todd

The apartment used to feel warm

It wasn't because it was expensive or big it wasn't. The tiny living room barely fit the secondhand couch you'd found online, the kitchen light flickered whenever someone turned on the microwave, and the bedroom window never closed properly during the winter.

But it was home.

Because it was yours.

And because of him.

When you first met Heeseung, he was just a boy with impossible dreams.

"I'll be on stage one day," he'd grin, eyes sparkling brighter than the city lights outside.

Everyone else laughed.

You never did.

"I know you will."

From that moment on, you became his biggest supporter.

You sat through endless vocal practices, listened to the same songs hundreds of times, watched him dance until his legs gave out, and stayed awake with him during nights when he questioned whether he was good enough.

Whenever he wanted to quit...

You were there.

"You've got this."

Whenever auditions rejected him...

"You'll get the next one."

Whenever he cried...

You held him until he stopped.

You believed in him long before the world ever would.

And eventually...

The world finally noticed.

His debut happened faster than either of you expected.

His songs climbed charts.

His face appeared on billboards.

Fans screamed his name wherever he went.

You couldn't have been prouder.

"My boyfriend did it," you'd whisper every time you saw another poster with his smile plastered across it.

At first...

Nothing changed.

He still called every night.

Still brought home your favorite snacks after schedules.

Still kissed your forehead before leaving.

Still whispered-

"I couldn't have done this without you."

You believed him.

But fame never stays simple.

Schedules became longer.

Interviews.

Recording sessions.

Dance practice.

Music shows.

Meetings.

Tours.

Sometimes he'd leave before sunrise.

Sometimes he'd return after midnight.

Sometimes...

He didn't return at all.

"It was too late," he'd apologize over the phone. "Management booked a hotel."

"It's okay," you'd answer every time.

You understood.

At least...

You tried to.

Soon, the apartment felt too quiet.

Dinner grew cold waiting for him.

Movies played with only one person watching.

His side of the bed stayed untouched more often than not.

Still...

You waited.

Because that's what people do when they love someone.

They wait.

Rain tapped softly against the apartment windows that evening.

You'd spent almost an hour making his favorite meal.

It had gone cold.

Again.

You were just about to put everything into containers when the front door unlocked.

Your heart leapt.

"Lee?"

The door opened.

Heeseung stepped inside.

His baseball cap hid most of his face.

Dark circles rested beneath tired eyes.

His shoulders sagged beneath the weight of exhaustion.

He looked like he hadn't slept in days.

But none of that mattered.

"Heeseung!"

You smiled so brightly your cheeks hurt.

You rushed toward him without thinking.

Throwing your arms around him the second he stepped through the door.

"I missed you so-"

His hands pressed against your shoulders.

Not gently.

Just enough to push you away.

You stumbled back a step.

The smile slowly disappeared from your face.

He froze.

His own hands lingered in the air as though he'd only just realized what he'd done.

"...Sorry."

The apology barely came out above a whisper.

You forced a small smile.

"It's okay... You must be tired."

Silence.

He didn't look at you.

Instead...

He quietly slipped off his shoes.

Then took a long breath.

"Y/N..."

Something in his voice made your stomach twist.

He finally looked at you.

Those familiar eyes-

The ones that always softened whenever they met yours-

Now looked...broken.

"I really like you."

Your brows furrowed.

"...What?"

He swallowed.

"But I don't want to hold you up anymore."

Your smile faded completely.

"I..."

You laughed awkwardly.

"...What are you talking about?"

He rubbed his face.

"I barely come home these days."

"..."

"You have dreams too."

"..."

"I don't want to keep you waiting."

Your heartbeat slowed.

Everything suddenly became strangely quiet.

As though your brain refused to understand what your ears had just heard.

"...Wait."

Your voice cracked.

"...No."

He stayed silent.

You stared at him.

Then noticed the duffel bag sitting beside the door.

Already packed.

Already waiting.

The realization hit all at once.

"No..."

Your breathing became uneven.

"No..."

Heeseung closed his eyes.

"I'm breaking up with you."

It felt like the floor disappeared beneath your feet.

"What...?"

"I'm sorry."

"What do you mean you're sorry?"

Tears blurred your vision.

"What do you mean?!"

Your voice rose louder than you'd intended.

"I'm not being held up!"

You grabbed the front of his hoodie desperately.

"You can't decide that for me!"

He stayed still.

"I don't care if you're busy!"

Your hands shook violently.

"I don't care if you come home once a week!"

Tears streamed freely now.

"I'll wait!"

You sobbed.

"I've always waited!"

Your chest tightened painfully.

"You can't do this to me..."

Your legs finally gave out.

You collapsed onto your knees.

A broken sob escaped your lips.

Everything hurt.

Your chest.

Your throat.

Your heart.

It all hurt.

"Heeseung..."

You cried so hard your words barely made sense.

"Please..."

For several seconds...

He didn't move.

Then he knelt beside you.

His arms wrapped around your trembling body.

Just like they used to.

"I'm sorry."

His voice cracked.

"This happened because of me."

You clung to him immediately.

As if holding tighter would stop him from disappearing.

"You deserve someone who can actually be here."

"I don't want someone else," you cried into his chest.

"You'll hate me if this keeps going."

"No!"

"You'll resent waiting."

"I won't!"

"You deserve better."

"I deserve you!"

The words echoed through the apartment.

Silence followed.

He squeezed his eyes shut.

You felt his grip tighten for only a moment.

Then...

Slowly...

Painfully...

His arms slipped away.

You reached for him.

"Heeseung..."

He stood.

Picked up the small duffel bag by the door.

For one second...

He looked back.

His eyes were just as wet as yours.

"I'll always be grateful for you."

Then he turned.

Opened the apartment door.

And walked away.

The door clicked shut with a quiet sound.

It wasn't loud.

It didn't slam.

But somehow...

It echoed louder than anything you'd ever heard.

You remained on the floor, staring at the closed door through blurred vision.

The last thing you saw of the boy you'd loved more than anything...

Was his back disappearing into the hallway, carrying a small packed bag.

And just like that...

The apartment that had once felt like home...

Felt unbearably empty.

The first year without you was the longest of Heeseung's life.

Success kept coming.

Another album.

Another tour.

Another sold-out arena.

More cameras.

More interviews.

More applause.

Everyone congratulated him.

"You made it."

"You must be so happy."

"You've got everything."

He smiled every single time.

"Thank you."

The smile disappeared the second the cameras turned away.

Because every hotel room was empty.

Every flight home felt pointless.

Every achievement ended the same way.

With him instinctively reaching for his phone to text you...

...before remembering there was no one waiting for his message anymore.

Today was different.

The date on his phone screen made his chest tighten.

One year.

It would have been your anniversary.

He hadn't forgotten.

Not for a single day.

The dance studio echoed with music as the members practiced the choreography again and again.

"Five, six, seven, eight!"

The instructor called out another run.

Heeseung pushed himself through it despite the ache in his legs.

Again.

Again.

Again.

By the time practice finally paused, sweat clung to his hair and his breathing was uneven.

He walked over to the wall and slid down until he was sitting on the hardwood floor.

His elbows rested on his knees as he stared blankly at the ground.

He looked exhausted.

Not just physically.

Completely.

Jake noticed almost immediately.

He grabbed a water bottle before walking over.

"You good?"

Heeseung didn't answer.

Jake sat beside him anyway.

For a few moments, neither of them spoke.

Only the distant sound of another team practicing in the next studio filled the silence.

Finally, Jake glanced sideways.

"What's up?"

Heeseung let out a quiet laugh that held no amusement.

"...I messed up."

Jake frowned.

"What do you mean?"

Heeseung rubbed a tired hand over his face.

"I thought I was doing the right thing."

Jake stayed quiet, letting him continue.

"I told myself she'd be happier without me."

His voice cracked slightly.

"I kept thinking... if I left first, she wouldn't spend years waiting for someone who was never home."

Jake nodded slowly.

"I convinced myself it was the kind thing to do."

Another silence settled between them.

Then Heeseung whispered,

"It wasn't."

His eyes remained fixed on the floor.

"I broke her heart..."

He swallowed hard.

"...and mine."

Jake sighed softly.

"You still think about her?"

A small, humorless smile appeared.

"There hasn't been a day that I haven't."

Heeseung reached into his pocket.

His fingers brushed against something worn.

He pulled out an old polaroid.

The edges were bent from being carried around for so long.

It was the two of you, squeezed together in front of a tiny café, both laughing because the picture had been taken too early.

Jake recognized it immediately.

"...You still carry that?"

Heeseung looked at it for a long moment.

"I never stopped."

His thumb gently brushed over your smiling face.

"I miss the little things."

Jake listened quietly.

"I miss coming home and hearing her ask if I'd eaten."

A shaky breath.

"I miss watching movies we'd never finish because we'd spend the whole time talking."

Another pause.

"I miss having someone to tell every stupid little thing that happened during the day."

His shoulders slumped.

"This life..."

He looked around the massive practice room.

"The stages... the awards... everything I worked for..."

He laughed bitterly.

"It doesn't feel like much without her."

Jake's expression softened.

"I just..."

Heeseung stared at the photo.

"...I just need to see her again."

The words barely rose above a whisper.

"I don't even know if she'd want to talk to me."

He closed his hand around the picture.

"But if I had one chance..."

His voice trembled.

"I'd tell her she was never holding me back."

Jake was quiet for a long moment before speaking.

"Then maybe... when the time is right, you should tell her."

Heeseung looked over.

Jake continued gently.

"You can't change what happened."

He gave his friend a small, encouraging smile.

"But if you still care about her this much... don't let fear make the decision for you again."

Heeseung looked back down at the old photograph.

For the first time in a year...

He wondered if it was too late to knock on your door.

A few weeks passed.

Life moved on.

Whether you wanted it to or not.

You found a job at a small café downtown, somewhere busy enough that the constant chatter kept your thoughts from wandering too often.

Most days, you worked behind the counter making drinks.

You memorized regulars' orders.

Smiled politely.

Asked the same questions.

"Hot or iced?"

"Anything else today?"

"Have a nice day."

It became routine.

Routine was easier than thinking.

Your friends had tried convincing you to go on dates.

"You'll meet someone."

"You deserve to be happy."

"You need to move on."

You tried.

Once.

The conversation lasted fifteen minutes before you caught yourself comparing the stranger's laugh to Heeseung's.

You never agreed to another date.

It wasn't fair to anyone.

Not when your heart still belonged to someone who had walked away.

That afternoon, your manager switched you to the register while another coworker covered the coffee bar.

The café buzzed with customers escaping the summer heat.

You scanned pastries.

Accepted payments.

Handed out receipts.

Just another ordinary shift.

"Y/N!"

A familiar voice rang through the café.

You looked up just as your best friend burst through the front door.

"Chaewon?"

Kim Chaewon practically bounced over to the counter, barely containing her excitement.

She leaned across it dramatically before tapping your shoulder.

"Girlll!!"

You laughed despite yourself.

"What?"

Her grin somehow widened.

"Guess who got Enhypen tickets!"

Your smile froze.

"...What?"

"I got two!"

She squealed, pulling out her phone so fast she nearly dropped it.

"Look!"

She shoved the confirmation screen toward you.

"I can't believe I actually got them!"

Your stomach sank.

Enhypen.

You hadn't even been able to hear their name without your chest tightening.

Not because of the group.

Because of him.

Chaewon continued rambling, completely oblivious.

"We're going together!"

You blinked.

"Huh?"

"I bought two tickets!"

She pointed between herself and you.

"Us!"

"I..."

Your voice caught.

The thought of seeing Heeseung again-

Even from hundreds of feet away-

Made your heartbeat quicken.

Images flashed through your mind.

His exhausted face.

The packed duffel bag.

The apartment door closing behind him.

You hadn't seen him since.

Not once.

"You'll come, right?" Chaewon asked hopefully.

She tilted her head.

"You like their music."

You did.

Or...

At least you used to.

Before every song reminded you of someone.

Chaewon frowned slightly.

"...Y/N?"

You quickly forced a small smile.

"I..."

You didn't want to go.

Every part of you wanted to say no.

But Chaewon had no idea what had happened between you and Heeseung.

As far as she knew, he was just your favorite member of the group.

If you refused out of nowhere...

She'd only worry.

So you swallowed the lump in your throat.

"...Sure."

The word came out much quieter than you intended.

Her eyes lit up instantly.

"I knew you'd say yes!"

She clapped happily.

"This is going to be so much fun!"

You smiled.

Or at least, you hoped it looked like one.

"I'm excited."

The lie tasted bitter.

Chaewon happily chatted about outfits, fan chants, and which songs she hoped would be on the setlist while you nodded along.

Inside...

All you could think was one thing.

I hope he doesn't see me.

Because after everything that had happened...

You weren't sure your heart could survive looking into his eyes again.

The night of the concert arrived much faster than you wanted it to.

Chaewon spent the entire train ride talking excitedly about the songs she hoped they would perform while you stared out the window, trying to calm the nervous feeling in your stomach.

You told yourself it would be fine.

Thousands of people would be there.

He wouldn't notice you.

There was no reason for him to.

Still, your hands trembled slightly as you entered the arena.

The lights.

The music.

The screams.

Everything felt overwhelming.

Then the show started.

The crowd erupted as Enhypen appeared on stage.

And there he was.

Heeseung.

For a moment, all the air left your lungs.

A year.

It had been a year since you had seen him in person.

Yet somehow he looked exactly the same.

And completely different.

More mature.

More tired.

His smile was still beautiful.

But something about it looked sad.

You hated that you noticed.

You hated that you still cared.

The concert continued.

You laughed with Chaewon.

Sang along to songs.

Clapped when everyone else did.

You tried your best to enjoy yourself.

But every now and then your eyes drifted back to him.

And every time they did, it hurt.

Because he had been yours once.

And now he wasn't.

Near the end of the show, the members spread out across the stage to interact with fans.

You weren't paying attention when Chaewon suddenly grabbed your arm.

"Y/N!"

"What?"

"I think he's looking over here!"

You rolled your eyes.

"There are thousands of people here."

"No, seriously-"

Then you looked up.

And froze.

Heeseung wasn't scanning the crowd.

He wasn't waving randomly.

He was staring.

Directly at you.

The smile on his face disappeared.

For a second, he looked shocked.

Like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Your heart stopped.

No.

No no no.

You immediately looked away.

But it was too late.

You knew.

And judging by the expression on his face-

He knew too.

After the concert ended, Chaewon dragged you toward the exits with the rest of the crowd.

"That was amazing!"

You nodded absentmindedly.

Your thoughts were elsewhere.

On a pair of familiar eyes.

On the way his expression had changed.

On the fact that after a year...

He had recognized you instantly.

"Y/N?"

A voice stopped you.

You froze.

Slowly turning around.

Your stomach dropped.

A staff member stood nearby.

"Are you Y/N?"

"...Yes?"

The woman smiled politely.

"Someone backstage would like to speak with you."

Your heart sank.

Chaewon looked between the two of you.

Then gasped.

"Oh my God."

You already knew.

A few minutes later, you stood alone in a quiet hallway backstage.

The distant sounds of staff cleaning up echoed through the building.

Your pulse hammered against your ribs.

Then footsteps approached.

You looked up.

And there he was.

Heeseung stopped a few feet away.

Neither of you spoke.

Neither of you moved.

A year of missed conversations sat between you.

His eyes looked glassy.

Yours probably did too.

"...Hi."

His voice was barely above a whisper.

You swallowed.

"Hi."

Silence.

The kind that hurt.

The kind that used to feel comfortable.

Now it felt unbearable.

"You came."

A small laugh escaped you.

"Apparently."

He smiled weakly.

Then looked down.

His hands were shaking.

You had never seen him nervous before.

Not even before performances.

Not even before debut.

But now?

He looked terrified.

Finally, he took a breath.

"I think about you every day."

Your chest tightened.

"Heeseung-"

"No."

He shook his head.

"Please let me finish."

His voice cracked.

"I left because I thought I was helping you."

Tears filled his eyes.

"I thought if I let you go, you'd have a better life."

You stared at him.

"I was wrong."

Another shaky breath.

"So wrong."

He laughed bitterly.

"I got everything I ever wanted."

He gestured vaguely around the arena.

"The tours. The concerts. The success."

Then his expression broke.

"And I hated coming home."

Your eyes widened.

"Because you weren't there."

The hallway fell silent.

"I kept waiting for the feeling to go away."

His voice trembled.

"I kept telling myself I'd move on."

He looked at you.

"But I couldn't."

Tears slipped down his cheeks.

"I love you."

The words hit harder than you expected.

"I never stopped."

Your breath caught.

He stepped closer.

Not enough to touch you.

Just enough that you could see how exhausted he looked.

"Every day I wished I could take it back."

Another tear rolled down his face.

"I don't care how selfish it sounds anymore."

His voice lowered.

"I need you to know that leaving you was the biggest mistake I've ever made."

The tears you'd been holding back finally escaped.

"Heeseung..."

"I'm not asking you to forgive me."

He quickly shook his head.

"And I'm not asking you to come back."

His eyes never left yours.

"I just needed you to know."

A painful smile appeared on his face.

"That I still love you."

Silence.

Neither of you moved.

For the first time in a year, there was nothing separating you except a few steps.

And the question both of you were too afraid to ask.

Was it too late?

Or was this the beginning of a second chance?

[goldenhourdairy]

"Everything He Isn't"

# CHAPTER 5

You have a boyfriend, but your brother's best friend keeps noticing things nobody else does. Jungwon knows your relationship isn't as perfect as you pretend it is. The problem is, he's starting to wish you were his instead.

❝ SYNOPSIS : having a crush on your brother's best friend was never part of the plan. especially when you already had a boyfriend. Jungwon was just someone who happened to be around all the time sleepovers at your house, late night gaming sessions, family dinners. yet somehow, he became the person who noticed things nobody else did. the way your smile faded after certain phone calls. the way you always chased after Heeseung whenever he accused you of something. the way you kept convincing yourself everything was fine when it clearly wasn't. Jungwon tells himself it's none of his business. unfortunately, watching you stay loyal to someone who constantly hurts you becomes harder with every passing day.❞

ᛝ ꒰ pairing : y.jw x fem!reader

ᛝ ꒰ genre : brother's best friend, high school romance, slow burn, angst, jealousy, emotional drama

ᛝ ꒰ word count : 2.4k+

ᛝ ꒰ featuring : Heeseung, Jake, Minju, Moka, & Sunoo.

ᛝ ꒰ song playing (🎶) : Evergreen (You Didn't Deserve Me At All) Omar Apollo

ᛝ ꒰ navigation : 001 , 002 , 003 , 004 , 005 , 006 , 007 , 008

You didn't go to school the next day.

Or the day after that.

Your room had become your hiding place.

The curtains stayed shut.

Your phone stayed on silent.

The only times you left your bed were when your mom practically dragged you downstairs to eat something.

Everything reminded you of him.

The flowers from your birthday.

The stuffed animal he'd won for you months ago.

The matching bracelet you still hadn't taken off.

Every memory just made your chest hurt all over again.

You'd spent nearly three years loving someone who apparently hadn't loved you enough to stay loyal.

It was pathetic.

At least, that's what it felt like.

School wasn't much quieter.

Everyone knew.

Nobody knew exactly what had happened.

Only that you and Heeseung had broken up.

Rumors spread faster than anyone could stop them.

Some blamed Heeseung.

Others blamed you.

Most simply wanted the drama.

Jake was sick of it.

"Dude."

One of his classmates caught up to him between periods.

"Is your sister okay?"

Jake kept walking.

"Yeah."

"So... what actually happened?"

Jake didn't answer.

Another student joined them.

"I heard she cheated first."

Jake stopped walking.

He slowly turned around.

"...What?"

The boy awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.

"I mean—that's just what people are saying."

Jake laughed.

A humorless laugh.

"Maybe stop listening to people."

He turned to leave.

"So you're not gonna tell us?"

Jake looked over his shoulder.

"How about you all fuck off and leave it alone?"

The hallway immediately fell silent.

Nobody followed him after that.

—

Meanwhile...

Your bedroom looked like a disaster.

Snack wrappers.

Blankets.

Tissues.

Half-finished cups of tea.

The television played another movie you weren't paying attention to.

You sniffled into another tissue.

A knock sounded at your bedroom door.

Before you could answer—

Sunoo walked in carrying three grocery bags.

Minju followed behind him.

"Oh."

You looked up.

"You guys..."

Sunoo held up the bags proudly.

"Emergency heartbreak supplies."

Minju smiled softly.

"We raided the convenience store."

You looked inside one of the bags.

Your favorite chips.

Your favorite chocolate.

Candy.

Cookies.

And two tubs of your favorite ice cream.

Your eyes filled with tears all over again.

"Oh no."

Sunoo immediately pointed at you.

"Don't."

"I'm trying."

"No crying."

"I literally can't help it."

He sighed dramatically before setting everything on your bed.

"Fine."

Another movie started playing.

The three of you sat together under the blankets.

Well...

You mostly cried.

Sunoo and Minju mostly watched you cry.

Halfway through the movie—

Sunoo finally paused it.

"We need to talk."

You already didn't like that sentence.

"What?"

"The school trip."

You frowned.

"What about it?"

"You're going."

"No."

"Yes."

You shook your head immediately.

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I am absolutely not."

Sunoo crossed his arms.

"You've missed two days of school."

"And?"

"Everyone already knows."

"Exactly."

You sat up.

"I'm probably the hottest topic at school right now."

"So?"

"So I don't want to go somewhere where everyone's just going to stare at me."

"They're going to stare for five minutes," Minju said.

"And then they'll move on."

"No, they won't."

"They will."

"They won't."

Sunoo sighed.

"You hiding in your room isn't helping."

You looked away.

"I know."

"But I still don't want to go."

Sunoo suddenly disappeared out of your room.

You frowned.

"Where's he—"

He returned less than a minute later.

Holding your small travel bag.

You stared.

"...What are you doing?"

He unzipped it.

"Packing."

Your jaw dropped.

"The trip isn't for another two days."

"I know."

"Then why are you packing?"

"Because if I wait until the night before, you'll come up with another excuse."

You couldn't believe him.

"Sunoo."

"No."

"Sunoo."

"You are going."

He walked over to your closet.

"Three outfits should be enough..."

You buried your face in your hands.

"You're unbelievable."

"I've been told."

Minju burst into laughter.

"I kind of love this."

"You are not helping."

"Nope."

While Sunoo happily folded clothes into your bag like he'd been hired as your personal assistant...

Minju sat beside you.

Her expression suddenly became much more serious.

"So."

You looked over.

"So?"

"What are we doing about Heeseung?"

You blinked.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm asking what kind of revenge we're thinking."

Your eyes widened.

"Minju."

"What?"

"We're not getting revenge."

She frowned.

"Why not?"

"Because."

"He deserves it."

"Probably."

"So?"

You sighed.

"I just want to forget about him."

Minju leaned back against your headboard.

"I don't."

You gave her a look.

"He made you cry on your birthday."

She started counting on her fingers.

"He accused you of cheating."

"Cheated on you himself."

"And had the audacity to blame Jungwon."

She shook her head.

"No."

"What?"

"I'm not letting that slide."

Sunoo looked up from your suitcase.

"I don't support crime..."

A pause.

"...But I am willing to hear ideas."

Despite everything...

A tiny laugh escaped you.

Minju immediately pointed.

"There."

"What?"

"That's the first time you've laughed since the breakup."

You smiled weakly.

"It wasn't even funny."

"It was enough."

For the first time in days...

The room didn't feel quite so heavy.

The next morning, you finally went back to school.

The second you stepped through the front gates, you regretted it.

People stared.

Some whispered.

Others stopped talking the moment you walked by.

You kept your head down.

One class.

Then another.

By third period, people had mostly gotten bored.

By fourth...

Things almost felt normal again.

Almost.

Lunch quickly reminded you otherwise.

You sat down at your usual table with your tray, trying your hardest to ignore the knot in your stomach.

Unfortunately, Heeseung had the same lunch period.

So did the girl.

You hadn't even learned her name.

You didn't want to.

Across the cafeteria, they sat together.

You looked away.

Then looked back.

You shouldn't have.

He leaned over and kissed her.

She smiled into it before wrapping her arms around him, laughing at something he'd whispered.

It looked...

Familiar.

Too familiar.

That used to be you.

The hugs.

The laughter.

The little moments you thought were special.

Apparently, they weren't.

Your appetite disappeared.

You kept staring anyway.

Like forcing yourself to watch would somehow make it hurt less.

It didn't.

A light tap landed on your shoulder.

You blinked, snapping back to reality.

Turning around, you found Jungwon standing there.

He held out a cold can of your favorite soda from the canteen.

"I figured you might want this."

You looked between him and the drink.

"You... bought this for me?"

He nodded once.

"It was the last one."

Your chest tightened.

It was such a small gesture.

Yet somehow...

It felt incredibly thoughtful.

Sometimes...

It honestly felt like he cared more about you than Heeseung ever had.

The thought caught you off guard.

You accepted the can with a small smile.

"Thank you."

"No problem."

An awkward silence settled between you.

Then Jungwon spoke again.

"I'm... sorry."

Your smile faded slightly.

"For what happened."

He didn't have to explain.

You knew exactly what he meant.

You looked down at the soda in your hands.

"Thanks."

He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Oh... and I finished our project."

Your head shot up.

"What?"

"You've had a lot going on."

"So I just finished the rest."

"You didn't have to do that."

He gave a small shrug.

"I know."

"But I wanted to."

You stared at him for a second.

"...Seriously, thank you."

He smiled.

"It wasn't a big deal."

To you, it was.

Before the conversation could get any more awkward, he pointed over his shoulder.

"I should probably get back."

You followed his gaze.

Jake and the rest of his friends were already waving him over.

"Jake's gonna complain if I disappear too long."

A small laugh escaped you.

"Yeah... go before he comes looking for you."

"I will."

With one last smile, Jungwon walked back to his table.

You watched him go.

Then looked down at the soda in your hands.

He'd remembered your favorite drink.

Just like he'd remembered your favorite flowers.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a loud voice.

"I'm telling you, the answer was thirty-two."

"No, it wasn't!"

You looked up.

Minju had arrived.

Across from her stood Moka, the two of them arguing passionately over yesterday's math test.

"You forgot to simplify!"

"I did simplify!"

"You literally didn't!"

"I literally did!"

Their argument faded into background noise.

Normally, you would've laughed.

Today...

Your eyes drifted back across the cafeteria.

Heeseung.

Still smiling.

Still talking to her.

Still acting like none of it had happened.

"...Seriously?"

Sunoo's voice suddenly cut through your thoughts.

You looked up.

He was standing beside you with his lunch tray, following your line of sight.

Then he looked back at you.

"You're doing that?"

You blinked.

"What?"

"Staring."

He rolled his eyes dramatically before sitting down.

"Seriously?"

You sighed.

"I wasn't—"

"You were."

He pointed across the cafeteria.

"He is not worth ruining your lunch over."

You looked down at your untouched food.

"...I know."

"No."

Sunoo leaned forward.

"You don't."

He nudged your shoulder.

"So stop giving him free attention."

Despite yourself, you laughed quietly.

"There she is."

"What?"

"That little laugh."

He smiled.

"I've been trying to get that out of you all week."

You shook your head.

"You're ridiculous."

"I know."

He immediately launched into a story about how Minju had nearly started a class-wide argument over the math test.

Within minutes, you found yourself responding.

Then laughing.

Then completely forgetting to look across the cafeteria.

For the first time since sitting down...

Heeseung wasn't the center of your attention anymore.

[goldenhourdairy]

"Everything He Isn't"

# CHAPTER 4

You have a boyfriend, but your brother's best friend keeps noticing things nobody else does. Jungwon knows your relationship isn't as perfect as you pretend it is. The problem is, he's starting to wish you were his instead.

❝ SYNOPSIS : having a crush on your brother's best friend was never part of the plan. especially when you already had a boyfriend. Jungwon was just someone who happened to be around all the time sleepovers at your house, late night gaming sessions, family dinners. yet somehow, he became the person who noticed things nobody else did. the way your smile faded after certain phone calls. the way you always chased after Heeseung whenever he accused you of something. the way you kept convincing yourself everything was fine when it clearly wasn't. Jungwon tells himself it's none of his business. unfortunately, watching you stay loyal to someone who constantly hurts you becomes harder with every passing day.❞

ᛝ ꒰ pairing : y.jw x fem!reader

ᛝ ꒰ genre : brother's best friend, high school romance, slow burn, angst, jealousy, emotional drama

ᛝ ꒰ word count : 2.5k+

ᛝ ꒰ featuring : Heeseung, Sunoo, and Minju

ᛝ ꒰ song playing (🎶) : "Vicious Sensitive Robot" The Marías

ᛝ ꒰ navigation : 001 , 002 , 003 , 004 , 005 , 006 , 007 , 008

Monday morning felt unusually busy.

The hallways buzzed with students carrying boxes of decorations, posters, and supplies.

The annual Spring Festival was only a few days away, and every class had been assigned a booth to run.

Your class was doing a dessert stand.

Naturally, everyone complained.

"Why do we have to decorate?" someone groaned.

"Because nobody buys from ugly booths," your teacher answered without looking up.

A chorus of sighs followed.

Your teacher clapped her hands.

"Same project partners."

You looked up from your notebook.

"So you'll also be working together during the festival."

You didn't even have to ask.

Jungwon looked over from the other side of the room at the exact same time.

"Guess we're partners again," you mumbled.

He shrugged.

"Could be worse."

"Oh?"

"You could've gotten Jake."

You laughed.

"...He's not even in our class."

"I know."

-

By lunch, the gym was already filled with students decorating their booths.

You stood on a small stool, trying to tape a banner to the top of the frame.

"It won't stay."

Jungwon looked up.

"Because it's upside down."

You froze.

"...No it's not."

He stared.

Then silently pointed.

You looked.

"...Oh."

You quickly peeled it off.

"I saw nothing."

"You definitely saw it."

"I didn't."

"You literally corrected me."

"I don't remember doing that."

You laughed, shaking your head.

"You are impossible."

"So I've been told."

As you reached up again, the tape slipped from your fingers.

"Seriously?"

Before you could climb down, Jungwon picked it up.

"Here."

"Thanks."

You stretched again.

This time the banner stayed.

"There."

You smiled proudly.

Jungwon looked at it.

"It's still crooked."

You gasped dramatically.

"I am not listening to another boy tell me my decorations are crooked."

He blinked.

"...Another?"

"My brother."

"Oh."

"He's been tormenting me with banners since my birthday."

A small laugh escaped him.

"You survived though."

"Barely."

-

Hours passed surprisingly quickly.

You painted signs.

Blew up balloons.

Argued over where decorations should go.

Somehow, despite doing most of the work, neither of you minded.

Your phone buzzed.

You immediately reached for it.

You: Are you coming to the festival later?

A few moments passed.

Heeseung: Yeah.

A smile found its way onto your face.

Jungwon noticed.

"He replied?"

You nodded.

"He said he's coming."

"Good."

You looked back down at your phone.

The smile lingered.

-

Three hours later...

He still wasn't there.

You checked the entrance.

Nothing.

Checked your phone.

No new messages.

"He'll show."

Minju appeared beside you holding two drinks.

"He always says that."

Sunoo muttered from your other side.

You shot him a look.

"What?"

"I'm just saying."

You sighed.

"I'm sure he's busy."

Sunoo raised an eyebrow but didn't argue.

-

As the festival officially opened, students and parents wandered from booth to booth.

Business picked up quickly.

You were too busy handing out cupcakes to think much about anything else.

Until...

"You've got frosting."

"Hm?"

Jungwon pointed toward your cheek.

You frowned.

"Where?"

"Here."

He gestured vaguely to his own face.

You rubbed your cheek.

"Worse."

"What?"

"You missed."

You laughed.

"I'm trying!"

Jungwon reached into the supply box, grabbed a napkin, and handed it to you.

"Mirror's behind you."

"Oh."

You wiped your face.

"Better?"

He nodded once.

"Yeah."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

The interaction lasted less than thirty seconds.

But from across the gym—Someone was watching.

Heeseung.

He had finally arrived.

His eyes landed on the two of you.

Then on the napkin.

Then on the smile you hadn't realized you were wearing.

His expression hardened immediately. He walked over.

"So."

You turned around.

"Heeseung!"

Your face lit up.

"You made it."

He barely smiled.

"Mhm."

You frowned.

"I thought you'd be here hours ago."

"I got busy."

You nodded.

"Oh."

Silence.

Then his eyes shifted toward Jungwon.

"You seem pretty entertained."

The comment caught you off guard.

"What?"

"You've been smiling a lot."

"I..."

You glanced toward Jungwon.

He had already stepped back, pretending to organize the cupcakes.

"It was just the booth."

Heeseung laughed quietly.

"Sure."

You blinked.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing."

"It doesn't sound like nothing."

He shrugged.

"I'm just saying."

You sighed.

"Heeseung."

"You've been spending a lot of time with him lately."

Your stomach sank.

"It's because of the project."

"And now the festival?"

"I didn't choose either."

Another shrug.

You hated when he did that. It always felt like he was accusing you without actually saying the words.

"We're just partners."

"I know."

But the way he said it made it sound like he didn't believe you.

Before you could respond, your teacher called your name.

"We need more cupcakes up front!"

You looked between the booth and Heeseung.

"I'll be right back."

He nodded.

"Take your time."

By the time you returned a few minutes later...

He was gone.

You looked around the crowded gym.

Nothing.

No text.

No goodbye.

Just gone.

Jungwon noticed you searching the room.

"He leave?"

You nodded slowly.

"I guess."

He didn't say anything.

Instead, he quietly handed you another tray of cupcakes.

You took it.

Your smile didn't return for the rest of the afternoon.

-

The afternoon crowd only seemed to grow.

Students lined up at your booth, laughing with their friends as they bought cupcakes and drinks.

You slipped on another pair of gloves while Jungwon restocked the display.

"We're almost sold out," you said.

He looked down at the tray.

"That's a good problem to have."

You smiled.

"I guess."

For the next twenty minutes, the two of you worked side by side.

"Chocolate or vanilla?" you asked another customer.

"Chocolate."

You handed over the cupcake with a smile.

"Have a good day!"

The line finally began to thin out.

You leaned against the table with a sigh.

"My feet are killing me."

"You've been standing for four hours."

"So have you."

"I'm used to it."

You rolled your eyes.

"Show off."

A small laugh escaped him.

Before either of you could say anything else, a group of younger students walked past your booth.

"...I'm telling you, I saw them."

"No way."

"I swear! They were in the janitor's closet."

"Who?"

"Heeseung and that sophomore girl."

Your heart stopped.

"No, you didn't."

"I did."

"They were literally kissing."

Your grip tightened around the box of cupcake liners.

"...That's crazy."

"I know."

The voices faded as they walked away.

Silence settled between you and Jungwon.

Slowly, you peeled off your gloves.

Then untied your apron.

"I'm gonna go for a minute."

Jungwon looked up immediately.

"Where?"

"The restroom."

He studied your face.For a moment, neither of you spoke.

Then, very gently, he reached out and caught your wrist.

Not tightly.

Just enough to stop you.

"You don't have to."

His voice was quiet.

Careful.

Almost as if he already knew exactly what you were about to do.

Your eyes flickered toward his.

You forced a small smile.

"I just need the restroom."

He held your gaze for another second.

Then slowly let go.

"...Okay."

You nodded once before turning away.

The farther you walked, the louder your heartbeat became.

They're probably lying.

It's just a rumor.

People make things up all the time.

You repeated those thoughts over and over as you made your way down the empty hallway.

Until you reached the janitor's closet.

The door wasn't completely shut. A quiet laugh came from inside.

Your hand trembled as you pushed it open.

The world seemed to stop.

Heeseung.

Standing inches away from another girl.

His lips pressed against hers.

Neither of them noticed you at first.

"...Heeseung?"

The sound of your voice made them jump apart.His eyes widened.

"You..."

For a second, nobody moved.

Then everything hit you at once.

The late birthday.

The phone call.

The girl's laugh.

The accusations.

The constant suspicion.

"You've got to be kidding me."

Your voice shook with anger.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Heeseung ran a hand through his hair.

"It's not—"

"Don't."

You pointed at him.

"Don't even start."

"You don't understand."

"I understand exactly what I'm looking at!"

The younger girl awkwardly stepped back, avoiding your eyes.

You laughed bitterly.

"So this is what you've been busy doing?""It isn't like that."

"Oh really?"

You felt tears stinging your eyes, but they refused to fall.

Not yet.

"You stood me up on my birthday."

Silence.

"You made me feel guilty for getting paired with Jungwon."

Another silence.

"And this whole time..."

Your voice cracked.

"...you were cheating on me."

Heeseung sighed, clearly growing frustrated.

"You're acting like you're innocent."

You stared at him.

"What?"

"You've been all over Jungwon lately."

For a moment, you genuinely couldn't process what he'd just said.

He continued anyway.

"You think I don't notice?"

The words hit harder than you expected.

Your eyes filled with tears.

"I've done nothing with Jungwon."

The girl beside him let out a quiet giggle.

Something inside you snapped.

You turned toward her.

"What's funny?"

Her smile disappeared immediately.

Then you looked back at Heeseung.

"You've been accusing me for months."

Your voice rose.

"I stayed loyal to you every single day."

"I never cheated on you."

"I never lied to you."

"I never gave you a reason to doubt me."

You wiped angrily at the tears slipping down your face.

"And you're standing here trying to blame me?"

Heeseung opened his mouth.

You didn't let him speak.

"No."

You shook your head.

"You're actually crazy if you think I did anything with Jungwon."

Your breathing had become uneven.

"You don't get to cheat on me and then act like we're somehow the same."

The hallway had gone completely silent.

Neither of them had anything left to say.

You looked at Heeseung one last time.

Then shook your head.

"I can't even look at you."

Without waiting for another excuse, you turned and walked out, the tears you'd been holding back finally spilling down your cheeks as the door slammed shut behind you.

[goldenhourdairy]

"Everything He Isn't"

# CHAPTER 3

You have a boyfriend, but your brother's best friend keeps noticing things nobody else does. Jungwon knows your relationship isn't as perfect as you pretend it is. The problem is, he's starting to wish you were his instead.

❝ SYNOPSIS : having a crush on your brother's best friend was never part of the plan. especially when you already had a boyfriend. Jungwon was just someone who happened to be around all the time sleepovers at your house, late night gaming sessions, family dinners. yet somehow, he became the person who noticed things nobody else did. the way your smile faded after certain phone calls. the way you always chased after Heeseung whenever he accused you of something. the way you kept convincing yourself everything was fine when it clearly wasn't. Jungwon tells himself it's none of his business. unfortunately, watching you stay loyal to someone who constantly hurts you becomes harder with every passing day.❞

ᛝ ꒰ pairing : y.jw x fem!reader

ᛝ ꒰ genre : brother's best friend, high school romance, slow burn, angst, jealousy, emotional drama

ᛝ ꒰ word count : 3.4k+

ᛝ ꒰ featuring : Heeseung, Jake, Sunoo, and Minju.

ᛝ ꒰ song playing (🎶) : "Wish I Didn't Love You" Love Spells

ᛝ ꒰ navigation : 001 , 002 , 003 , 004 , 005 , 006 , 007 , 008

Sweet sixteen.

You'd been waiting for this birthday for months.

The house had been chaos since early that morning.

Streamers.

Balloons.

Gift bags.

A mountain of decorations your mom insisted were "absolutely necessary."

Meanwhile, Jake insisted on being the most annoying person alive.

"Move left."

You adjusted the banner.

"More."

You adjusted it again.

"Still crooked."

You turned around.

"It's literally straight."

"Nope."

"It is."

"It isn't."

You narrowed your eyes.

Jake grinned.

Your eye twitched.

"Mom."

"Jake."

Your mother's voice immediately cut through the room.

"Stop bothering your sister."

Jake looked offended.

"I'm helping."

"You've been helping for three hours."

"I know."

"That's the problem."

You laughed while Jake complained dramatically.

Eventually the decorations were finished.

The house looked beautiful.

And so did you.

The dress you'd picked out made you feel like you had stepped out of an old movie. The satin bodice shimmered softly whenever the light hit it, while the full ivory skirt flared around you in elegant folds. Tiny embroidered details decorated the fabric near the hem, and a ribbon tied neatly around your waist. Paired with a simple pearl necklace, it was sweet without trying too hard.

For once, you actually felt sixteen.

Guests slowly began arriving.

Family friends.

Neighbors.

People your parents had known forever.

You and Jake stood near the entrance greeting everyone as they entered.

Eventually conversations broke out around the house.

Adults gathered together.

Kids your age found places to sit.

The party finally began feeling real.

You checked your phone.

Nothing.

No new messages.

You frowned.

Heeseung wasn't here yet.

You told yourself not to worry.

There was still plenty of time.

Then Jake's friends arrived.

Immediately making the house louder.

You spotted Jungwon among them.

Before you could think much about it, your attention drifted back to your phone.

Still nothing.

A year ago Heeseung had missed your fifteenth birthday.

You'd spent the entire evening waiting for him.

There was no way he'd do that again.

Right?

"BOO."

You nearly screamed.

Your phone flew out of your hands.

Laughter erupted behind you.

You spun around.

"MINJU!"

She was bent over laughing.

Beside her, Sunoo looked equally pleased with himself.

"Oh my gosh, your face."

"You two are awful."

"We know."

Sunoo immediately snatched your phone.

"Hey!"

He held it above his head.

"You're really waiting for him?"

You crossed your arms.

"No."

"You checked your phone seven times while we were standing here."

"Eight," Minju corrected.

Sunoo nodded.

"Eight."

You groaned.

Minju wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

"Girl, he'll get here."

"Exactly," Sunoo agreed. "You're supposed to be having fun."

You glanced at the screen one last time.

Still nothing.

Slowly, you slid the phone into your purse.

"Okay."

"There she is," Minju said.

The three of you headed toward the living room.

Halfway there, someone tapped your shoulder.

Your eyes immediately lit up.

"Heeseu—"

The words died.

Jungwon stood there.

For a split second, disappointment crossed your face.

And strangely enough, something similar flashed across his.

Then both expressions vanished.

Jungwon awkwardly held out a bouquet.

"Happy birthday."

Your eyes widened.

The flowers were beautiful.

And they happened to be your favorites.

A smile immediately spread across your face.

"Oh my gosh."

You carefully took them.

"Thank you so much."

Jungwon rubbed the back of his neck.

"You like them?"

"I love them."

Your smile softened.

"How'd you know these were my favorite?"

He looked caught.

For a second.

Then he laughed.

"I saw you staring at them during the spring festival."

You blinked.

"You remembered that?"

His ears turned slightly pink.

"Maybe."

Behind you, Sunoo squeezed your hand.

Hard.

You looked over.

His eyes were huge.

Minju looked exactly the same.

Ignoring them, you smiled at Jungwon.

"Seriously, thank you."

He nodded.

"Jake's looking for everyone in the game room, right?"

You pointed him toward his friends.

The second he left-

"Oh my God."

You groaned.

"No."

"Oh my God," Minju repeated.

"He likes you."

"He does not."

Sunoo looked personally offended.

"He brought your favorite flowers."

"Because he's nice."

"He remembered flowers you looked at months ago."

"He's observant."

"He's in love with you."

You smacked his arm.

"No he's not."

The argument continued long after Jungwon disappeared.

—

The next few hours passed quickly.

You laughed.

Took photos.

Opened gifts.

Talked with friends.

Tried to enjoy yourself.

Yet every so often-

You'd glance across the room.

And find Jungwon already looking.

The second your eyes met, he'd immediately look away.

Every.

Single.

Time.

It was strange.

But eventually you stopped thinking about it.

Because by 6:30 PM-

Heeseung still wasn't there.

Now you were worried.

You quietly excused yourself and headed upstairs.

The second you reached your room, you called him.

He answered after several rings.

"Hey."

"Where are you?"

"I'm coming."

"You said that an hour ago."

A sigh.

"I know."

"Heeseung."

"I'll get there soon."

"How soon?"

"Soon."

The answer did nothing to reassure you.

Before you could argue, a sound echoed faintly through the phone.

A girl's laugh.

Your stomach dropped.

"Heeseung-"

"I gotta go."

The call ended.

Just like that.

You stared at the screen.

Suddenly all of Sunoo's comments came rushing back.

The Valentine's Day pictures.

The accusations.

The distance.

The girl's laugh.

You squeezed your eyes shut.

No.

Maybe there was an explanation.

There had to be.

After a few minutes, you fixed your expression and headed back downstairs.

Nobody seemed to notice.

Not your parents.

Not Jake.

Not the guests.

At least not at first.

The cake arrived shortly afterward.

Everyone gathered around.

The room filled with singing.

Sixteen candles flickered in front of you.

You made a wish.

Though this year it felt harder than usual.

Then you blew them out.

The applause started immediately.

But your eyes still drifted toward the door.

Heeseung never came.

Later, while everyone was busy eating cake and talking, you quietly slipped away.

"Hey."

You looked up.

Jungwon.

He studied your face.

"What's wrong?"

You forced a smile.

"Nothing."

"That's a lie."

You laughed weakly.

For some reason, that made it easier to admit.

"He still isn't here."

Understanding immediately crossed Jungwon's face.

"Oh."

Silence settled between you.

Then he opened his arms slightly.

Offering.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

A hug.

You accepted it.

Just for a second.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Then the two of you returned to the party.

As if nothing had happened.

You found Sunoo and Minju again.

The second they saw you, their expressions softened.

"Still didn't show?"

Minju asked quietly.

You nodded.

That was all it took.

The tears you'd been holding back all evening finally slipped free.

Sunoo immediately pulled you into a hug.

Minju hurried off to grab tissues.

You couldn't even explain the phone call.

Or the laugh.

Or the sinking feeling in your chest.

Across the room, Jungwon glanced over.

For the first time that evening, he wasn't looking at you because he liked watching you laugh.

He was looking because seeing you cry on your birthday felt painfully unfair.

After a while, the tears stopped.

Your makeup wasn't exactly recoverable, but Minju had done her best to fix it while Sunoo repeatedly threatened to fight Heeseung for making you cry on your birthday.

You appreciated the effort.

Eventually, everyone gathered back in the living room.

It was time for gifts.

The pile was honestly ridiculous.

Boxes of different sizes covered the coffee table while everyone crowded around to watch.

You laughed nervously.

"This is embarrassing."

"Open them."

Jake immediately shoved the closest gift toward you.

You rolled your eyes and started opening them one by one.

A necklace.

Gift cards.

Clothes.

Books.

You thanked everyone while your family watched proudly.

For the first time all evening, you were actually starting to enjoy yourself again.

Then the doorbell rang.

Your heart stopped.

The room went quiet for half a second.

Before you were already standing.

"I'll get it!"

You practically rushed to the front door.

Pulling it open.

And there he was.

Heeseung.

Relief immediately flooded through you.

"You came."

Without thinking, you threw your arms around him.

For the briefest moment, his body stiffened.

Almost like he'd been caught off guard.

Something flashed across his face.

Annoyance.

Maybe discomfort.

But it disappeared so quickly that you couldn't be sure it had even happened.

Instead, he awkwardly patted your back.

"Yeah."

You stepped back.

Smiling despite everything.

"I thought you weren't coming."

"I said I'd be here."

His tone wasn't particularly warm.

But he was here.

That was what mattered.

Right?

"Oh."

He held something out.

"Happy birthday."

You blinked.

A single rose.

Your smile faltered slightly.

Only for a second.

Because immediately your mind wandered elsewhere.

To the bouquet upstairs.

The flowers Jungwon had nervously handed you earlier.

The ones he'd remembered from a school event months ago.

You looked back at the single rose.

Then at Heeseung.

And forced your smile wider.

"Thank you."

You genuinely meant it.

Even if a small part of you felt disappointed.

Maybe expecting more was selfish.

Maybe you were being ungrateful.

So you pushed the thought away.

"You guys gonna stay at the door all night?"

Jake called.

The moment was broken.

You laughed.

"Come in."

Your parents greeted Heeseung warmly as he entered.

Soon enough everyone was settled again.

And gift opening resumed.

Heeseung sat beside you.

Scrolling through his phone occasionally.

Not really paying attention.

You tried not to notice.

Across the room, however-

Someone else definitely noticed.

Jungwon sat with Jake and a few of his friends.

From a distance, his expression remained calm.

Neutral.

But the second his eyes landed on the rose resting in your lap-

His jaw tightened.

Just slightly.

Enough for Jake to notice.

"What?"

Jake asked.

"Nothing."

Jungwon looked away.

Jake followed his gaze.

Immediately understanding.

"Oh."

The response made Jungwon glare at him.

"Shut up."

"I didn't say anything."

"You were about to."

Jake grinned.

Meanwhile, you remained completely unaware.

Continuing to open gifts while chatting with your family.

Every now and then you'd glance at Heeseung.

Trying to convince yourself everything was okay.

That his lateness wasn't a big deal.

That the rushed gift wasn't a big deal.

That the distant attitude wasn't a big deal.

Across the room, Jungwon watched him barely pay attention to the girl whose birthday party he'd nearly missed.

And for the second time that night, he found himself getting annoyed over something that wasn't his business.

[goldenhourdairy]

"Everything He Isn't"

# CHAPTER TWO

You have a boyfriend, but your brother's best friend keeps noticing things nobody else does. Jungwon knows your relationship isn't as perfect as you pretend it is. The problem is, he's starting to wish you were his instead.

❝ SYNOPSIS : having a crush on your brother's best friend was never part of the plan. especially when you already had a boyfriend. Jungwon was just someone who happened to be around all the time sleepovers at your house, late night gaming sessions, family dinners. yet somehow, he became the person who noticed things nobody else did. the way your smile faded after certain phone calls. the way you always chased after Heeseung whenever he accused you of something. the way you kept convincing yourself everything was fine when it clearly wasn't. Jungwon tells himself it's none of his business. unfortunately, watching you stay loyal to someone who constantly hurts you becomes harder with every passing day.❞

ᛝ ꒰ pairing : y.jw x fem!reader

ᛝ ꒰ genre : brother's best friend, high school romance, slow burn, angst, jealousy, emotional drama

ᛝ ꒰ word count : 1.7k+

ᛝ ꒰ other members: Heeseung, Jake, and Sunoo.

ᛝ ꒰ song playing (🎶) : "Separate Ways" Eyedress (feat. The Marìas)

ᛝ ꒰ navigation : 001 , 002 , 003 , 004 , 005 , 006 , 007 , 008

Things with Heeseung went back to normal.

Or at least, as normal as they could.

You still walked together between classes.

He still sat beside you at lunch.

You still got the occasional forehead kiss or arm wrapped around your shoulders.

But after Valentine's Day, there was something sitting between you.

A crack.

Small enough to ignore.

Big enough to notice.

You tried not to think about it.

And for the most part, you succeeded.

Until third period. "Alright, everyone."

A collective groan filled the classroom as your teacher stood at the front.

"We are starting our semester project today."

Immediately, half the class looked miserable.

You included.

"This project will count for thirty percent of your final grade."

Now everyone looked miserable.

The teacher continued talking while passing out papers.

You skimmed the instructions.

Research.

Presentation.

Essay.

Great.

"And before anyone asks," your teacher said. "No. You do not get to pick your partners."

The complaints started instantly.

You barely listened.

Until your teacher began reading names.

One pair after another.

Then-

"And you..."

You looked up.

"...will be partnered with Jungwon."

The classroom grew a little louder.

You heard whispers.

Of course you did.

Jungwon was one of the smartest students in the grade.

Meanwhile, you just stared at the paper in front of you. Across the room, Jungwon glanced up.

His expression didn't change.

He simply nodded once before returning to whatever he was writing.

Like being partnered with you wasn't a big deal at all.

The bell rang shortly afterward.

As everyone gathered their things, Jungwon approached your desk.

"We should probably exchange numbers."

Straight to business.

You handed him your phone.

A few seconds later, he returned it.

"Library after school?"

You blinked.

"Oh."

"To start the project."

"Right."

You felt slightly embarrassed.

"Yeah. That's fine."

"Okay."

And just like that, he walked away.

No awkwardness.

No teasing.

Nothing.

You weren't sure why that surprised you.

You didn't think much of it until lunch.

Heeseung was sitting beside you, scrolling through his phone while you picked at your food.

"The teacher paired me with someone for the project today."

"Hm?"

You took a sip of your drink.

"Jungwon."

His thumb stopped moving.

Only for a second.

Then it continued.

"Oh."

You frowned slightly.

"That's it?"

"What?"

"I thought you'd say something."

He shrugged.

"What am I supposed to say?"

"I don't know."

The conversation should've ended there.

Instead, ten minutes later, he asked-

"Why him?"

You looked up.

"What?"

"Why'd you get paired with him?"

"I didn't choose."

"I'm just asking."

"It was random."

He hummed. Not sounding particularly convinced.

"Couldn't you switch?"

You stared at him.

"Why would I switch?"

Another shrug.

"I don't know."

You suddenly weren't hungry anymore.

Luckily, the bell rang before the conversation could continue.

After school, you headed toward the library.

The place was mostly empty.

A few students sat scattered around studying.

Jungwon was already there.

Of course he was.

You found him sitting at one of the tables near the back.

His laptop was open.

Several notes were already spread across the table.

"You started already?"

"You were five minutes late."

You gasped.

"I was not."

"You were."

You checked your phone.

5:05.

"Oh."

A small smile appeared on his face.

"See?"

"Okay, maybe I was."

He looked entirely too pleased with himself.You sat down.

For the next hour, things went surprisingly smoothly.

Jungwon was organized.

Annoyingly organized.

He already had a schedule.

A list of sources.

A breakdown of responsibilities.

You were beginning to suspect he secretly enjoyed projects.

Your phone buzzed.

You glanced down.

Heeseung.

Where are you?

You typed a quick response.

Library.

Another buzz.

Still?

You frowned.

Yeah?

A third message arrived almost immediately.

With him?

You sighed quietly.

"Problem?"

You looked up.

Jungwon was watching you.

"No."

A lie.

He didn't call you out on it.

Instead, he slid one of the papers toward you.

"You missed this section."

"Hm?"

"You've been staring at your phone for the last five minutes."

Heat rushed to your face.

"I have not."

"You have."

"I was working."

"You read the same paragraph four times."

Your mouth fell open.

"What?"

His smile widened slightly.

"You did."

"That's creepy."

"It's observant."

"That's still creepy."

For the first time all afternoon, you heard him laugh.

An actual laugh.

Not just a smile.

And for a moment, the tension sitting in your chest felt a little lighter.

Your phone buzzed again.

Then again.

Then again.

The feeling immediately returned.

Jungwon's eyes flickered toward the screen.Not enough to read the messages.

Just enough to notice how your shoulders tensed.

"You should answer."

You rubbed your forehead.

"Yeah."

The second you picked up, Heeseung's voice came through.

"Why are you still there?"

You blinked.

"What?"

"The project."

"We just started."

"How long does it take to start a project?"

You glanced across the table.

Jungwon was focused on his notes now, pretending not to listen.

"It's a semester project."

"You're still with him though."

Your stomach sank.

"Heeseung."

"What?"

"Nothing is happening."

"I didn't say anything was."

His tone suggested otherwise.

You closed your eyes.

Already exhausted.

"I'll call you later."

The line went silent.

Then disconnected.

Slowly, you lowered your phone.

The library suddenly felt too quiet.

You stared at the table.

At the notes.

At anything except the growing frustration in your chest.

"You okay?"

You hated that question.Mostly because he kept asking it.

And somehow always knew when something was wrong.

"I'm fine."

Jungwon didn't look convinced.

But he nodded anyway.

A few minutes later, you began gathering your things.

"You leaving?"

"Yeah."

The words came out softer than intended.

"I'll finish my part at home."

He studied your expression.

Your forced smile. Your tired eyes.

The way your hands moved a little too quickly while packing. Then he nodded.

"Okay."

You stood.

"Sorry."

"For what?"

You paused.

You weren't actually sure.

Maybe for leaving.

Maybe for being distracted.

Maybe for feeling embarrassed.

"I don't know."

Jungwon watched you for a moment.

Then shook his head.

"You don't have anything to apologize for."

The words caught you off guard.

Before you could respond, he looked back down at the project notes.

Like he hadn't just said something that made your chest tighten unexpectedly.

"Oh."

You adjusted your bag.

"I'll text you later."

"Okay."

You turned and headed toward the exit.

Jungwon watched you disappear through the library doors.

Only after you were gone did he lean back in his chair.

His jaw tightened.

Not because of the project.

Not because you left early.

But because every time your phone lit up with Heeseung's name, your mood changed.

He told himself it wasn't his business. Unfortunately, that didn't stop him from thinking about it the entire walk home.

The walk home felt longer than usual.Maybe because your mind wouldn't stop replaying the conversation.

Every text.

Every accusation.

Every look.

You kicked a small pebble across the sidewalk, watching it bounce ahead of you.

Beside you, Sunoo glanced over.

"You've been quiet for, like, ten minutes."

You groaned.

"Has it really been that long?"

"Unfortunately."

A small smile tugged at your lips.

Sunoo immediately pointed.

"There she is."

"Who?"

"The girl who remembers how to smile."

You rolled your eyes.

He bumped your shoulder lightly.

"Talk."

You hesitated.

Then everything spilled out.

The project.

The library.

The phone call.

The questions.

The accusations.

By the time you finished, Sunoo looked thoroughly unimpressed.

"Okay."

"What?"

"Heeseung is being ridiculous."

You looked down.

"Maybe."

"No. Not maybe."

You sighed.

Sunoo continued.

"You got assigned a project partner."

"Yeah."

"That's literally it."

"I know."

"So why are you the one feeling guilty?"

You didn't have an answer.

Because honestly?

You'd been asking yourself the same thing.

Sunoo frowned.

"I don't think any of this is your fault."

The words made your chest ache.

Because part of you had been wondering if it was.

"If anything," he continued, "I think he's the problem here."

You stayed silent.

Sunoo shoved his hands into his pockets.

"And honestly-"

He stopped.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, what?"

He grimaced.

"I was going to say maybe he's cheating."

Your head snapped toward him.

The expression on your face made him immediately regret opening his mouth.

"Oh my gosh."

Sunoo covered his face.

"I should not have said that."

"Sunoo."

"Nope."

"Sunoo."

"We're changing topics."

You stared at him.

He pointed dramatically at you.

"Your sweet sixteen."

"What?"

"Your sweet sixteen."

You blinked.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"It has everything to do with everything."

A laugh escaped you despite yourself.

Sunoo immediately seized the opportunity.

"Now. Important question."

You already knew where this was going.

"Sunoo-"

"What are we doing with your hair?"

You groaned.

"Seriously?"

"Very seriously."

The dramatic expression on his face didn't waver.

"You only turn sixteen once."

You finally gave in.

"I don't know."

"Wrong answer."

"Then why'd you ask me?"

"Because I wanted to hear the wrong answer first."

You laughed again.

And for the first time all afternoon, the knot in your chest loosened.

Sunoo smiled.

"There we go."

You nudged him.

"You're annoying."

"I know."

He looped his arm through yours.

"So."

He grinned.

"Hair?"

You thought for a moment.

"Maybe curls?"

His eyes widened.

"Oh."

"What?"

"We're getting somewhere."

You rolled your eyes.

"Nails?"

"Probably something simple."

"Wrong."

"Sunoo."

"Sparkles."

"No."

"Sparkles."

"No."

"Sparkles."

You couldn't help laughing.

The sound echoed down the sidewalk.

For a moment, the project, the phone calls, and Heeseung's accusations faded into the background.

And as Sunoo continued rambling about dresses, hairstyles, and nail designs, you found yourself actually looking forward to something again.

Even if only for a little while.

[goldenhourdairy]

"Everything He Isn't"

# CHAPTER ONE

You have a boyfriend, but your brother's best friend keeps noticing things nobody else does. Jungwon knows your relationship isn't as perfect as you pretend it is. The problem is, he's starting to wish you were his instead.

❝ SYNOPSIS : having a crush on your brother's best friend was never part of the plan. especially when you already had a boyfriend. Jungwon was just someone who happened to be around all the time sleepovers at your house, late night gaming sessions, family dinners. yet somehow, he became the person who noticed things nobody else did. the way your smile faded after certain phone calls. the way you always chased after Heeseung whenever he accused you of something. the way you kept convincing yourself everything was fine when it clearly wasn't. Jungwon tells himself it's none of his business. unfortunately, watching you stay loyal to someone who constantly hurts you becomes harder with every passing day.❞

ᛝ ꒰ pairing : y.jw x fem!reader

ᛝ ꒰ genre : brother's best friend, high school romance, slow burn, angst, jealousy, emotional drama

ᛝ ꒰ word count : 1k+ (based on the chapter now.)

ᛝ ꒰ other members : Heeseung & Jake.

ᛝ ꒰ song playing (🎶) : "The Mourning After" Mac Miller

ᛝ ꒰ navigation : 002 , 003 , 004 , 005 , 006 , 007 , 008

Your older brother, Jake, had always brought his friends around the house. Growing up, you couldn't stand it. They were loud, constantly taking over the living room, and somehow always eating everything in the kitchen.

That changed during freshman year.

One afternoon, Jake came home with a new friend.

Jungwon.

At first, he was just another one of Jake's friends. But unlike the others, he was easy to be around. He was funny without trying too hard, relaxed, and surprisingly kind.

Before long, he became a regular visitor, staying over so often that it almost felt like he lived there. You'd be lying if you said you didn't think he was cute.

But you already had a boyfriend.

Heeseung.

So you kept those thoughts buried where they belonged. Still, it wasn't always easy.

Jungwon had a way of making everyone around him feel comfortable. He listened when people talked. He remembered little details. He smiled often.

He was everything Heeseung wasn't.

Your relationship with Heeseung had become exhausting over the years. He constantly accused you of cheating, questioning every text message, every conversation, every interaction with another guy. Sometimes his accusations became so frequent that you found yourself wondering if he was projecting his own guilt onto you.

But despite everything, you stayed.

Maybe because you'd been together for so long. Maybe because you kept hoping things would get better.

Valentine's Day of your junior year arrived before you knew it.

For once, you were excited.

Heeseung had planned a date, and you spent nearly an hour getting ready. Your outfit was perfect, your hair done, and your makeup carefully finished. As you stepped out of your room in a pair of heels, you couldn't help smiling.

Walking down the hallway, you passed Jake's bedroom.

The door was open.

Jake and Jungwon were inside, sprawled across the room after another sleepover.

Jungwon glanced up from his phone the moment he heard your heels clicking against the floor.

His eyes followed you.

"Where are you going all dressed up?" he asked.

Before you could answer, Jake spoke first. "Valentine's date. She's meeting Heeseung."

For a split second, something unreadable crossed Jungwon's face.

A flicker of annoyance.

Disappointment.

Something.

But it disappeared so quickly you almost thought you'd imagined it.

"Oh," Jungwon said, leaning back against the headboard. "Right."

Then he forced a small smile.

"Have fun."

The date itself had gone surprisingly well.

Heeseung had actually been attentive for once. He'd bought you flowers, taken you somewhere nice, and for a few hours you'd almost forgotten about all the arguments and accusations.

But by the time he dropped you off at home, exhaustion had settled into your bones.

Being dressed up was fun.

Getting unready was not.

The moment you stepped into your room, your heels were kicked off and abandoned near the door. You sat in front of your vanity, carefully wiping away your makeup. One cotton pad became two, then three, until your face was finally clean.

After changing into an oversized hoodie and a pair of shorts, you collapsed onto your bed.

Your phone was still buzzing with notifications.

You smiled slightly as you unlocked it.

Maybe there was a cute picture from tonight you could post.

You began scrolling through social media, looking through photos from the date.

Then your thumb froze.

A post.

Then another.

And another.

Your stomach dropped.

The photos had been uploaded less than thirty minutes ago.

A party.

A party Heeseung was currently at.

The same party he'd apparently gone to right after dropping you off.

In one picture, a girl was practically hanging off his shoulder.

In another, she was leaning against him while he smiled at something off-camera.

Your chest tightened.

Maybe they were just friends.

Maybe it looked worse than it actually was.

Maybe-

You quickly locked your phone.

You didn't want to think about it.

Not tonight.

After taking a moment to compose yourself, you headed downstairs.

The familiar sounds of video game effects echoed from the living room.

Jake and Jungwon were sprawled across the couch, controllers in hand.

Jake glanced over first.

"Well, look who survived date night."

You rolled your eyes.

"Barely."

Jungwon immediately paused the game.

"You wanna play?"

The invitation came so fast that Jake snorted.

"Dude didn't even hesitate."

"Shut up," Jungwon muttered.

You laughed quietly.

"Yeah. I wanna play."

Anything to keep your mind busy.

Jake tossed you a spare controller while Jungwon scooted over to make room.

For a while, things were normal.

You played.

Jake complained every time he lost.

Jungwon laughed whenever either of you messed up.

But after a few rounds, Jungwon's attention shifted.

His eyes lingered on you.

"You okay?"

You blinked.

"Hm?"

"You're quiet."

Jake glanced over.

"Yeah, quieter than usual."

You looked down at your controller.

For a moment you considered lying.

Then you sighed.

"I saw some pictures online."

Jungwon sat up slightly.

"What pictures?"

"From a party."

You swallowed.

"Heeseung was there."

Jake immediately shrugged.

"So?"

"There was a girl all over him."

The room fell silent.

You forced a laugh.

"They're probably friends."

Jake didn't seem particularly concerned.

"Then they're probably friends."

You nodded, though the words didn't make you feel any better.

Beside you, Jungwon's jaw tightened.

Just slightly.

Enough for you to notice.

His gaze dropped to the floor.

Disappointment flashed across his face again that same expression he'd had earlier when Jake mentioned your Valentine's date.

Only this time it seemed stronger.

Like hearing about Heeseung somehow bothered him more than it should have.

"Friends don't usually hang on someone else's boyfriend like that," he muttered.

Jake immediately groaned.

"Oh my God, don't start."

"I'm just saying."

You looked at Jungwon.

His eyes met yours.

For a second, neither of you spoke.

Then his expression softened.

"If it upset you, you don't have to pretend it didn't."

Your heart squeezed unexpectedly.

Not because of what he said.

But because he was the first person all night who seemed to care that it hurt.

And somehow, that made it hurt even more.

The next few days were strange.

On the surface, everything looked normal.

You and Heeseung still spent time together between classes.

You still sat together at lunch. Sometimes he'd throw an arm around your shoulders while walking through the hallways, and everyone else would assume nothing had changed.

But ever since Valentine's Day, something felt different.

Every time your phone buzzed, you found yourself wondering where he was.

Who he was with.

Whether there was something he wasn't telling you.

You hated that feeling.

So you buried it.

Pretended everything was fine.

One afternoon, you were standing with Heeseung near the lockers while he talked about something that had happened in class.

As he spoke, your attention drifted. Across the hallway, Jake was standing with his friends. You immediately spotted Jungwon among them. The others were talking and laughing about something, but Jungwon wasn't paying attention.

He was looking in your direction. His expression wasn't easy to read.

Not angry.

Not sad.

Just...Upset.

Almost envious.

The second he realized you had noticed him, he looked away.

Like he'd been caught.

You frowned slightly.

"Hey." A hand gently turned your face back.Your attention snapped to Heeseung.

"What?"

"You weren't listening."

"Sorry."

His eyes narrowed.

You thought that would be the end of it. Instead, his gaze flickered toward the group across the hall.

Toward Jungwon. Then back to you.

"Why were you staring at him?"

You blinked.

"What?"

"Jungwon."

The accusation in his voice caught you off guard.

"I wasn't-"

"Oh, let me guess."

A bitter laugh escaped him.

"You two are getting close now?"

Your stomach dropped.

"What are you talking about?"

"He spends every day at your house."

You stared at him in disbelief.

"That's because he's Jake's friend."

"Sure."

The way he said it made your chest hurt.

"Heeseung-"

"You looked pretty startled when I mentioned him."

"Because that came out of nowhere!"

His expression only hardened.

"See? Defensive."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing.

"No, I'm confused."

But it felt like he wasn't listening anymore.The more you tried to explain, the more convinced he seemed to become.

Finally, he shook his head and stepped away.

"Heeseung, wait."

He turned and started walking down the hallway.

You hurried after him.

"Heeseung!"

Across the hall, Jake's conversation had long since stopped.

Everyone had noticed.

Jungwon watched as you rushed after your boyfriend.

Watched you trying to explain yourself.

Watched you apologize for something you hadn't even done.

Beside him, one of Jake's friends muttered, "They're arguing again." Jungwon scoffed quietly.

His jaw tightened.

He looked away.

Because seeing it annoyed him more than he wanted to admit.

From where he stood, it looked like you were always the one chasing after him.

Always the one trying to fix things.

Always the one being accused.

And somehow, you still stayed.

Jungwon shoved his hands into his pockets.If he were in that position, he thought, he wouldn't make you feel guilty for looking across a hallway.

He wouldn't make you run after him.

The thought only irritated him further.

So he forced himself to look away and rejoin the conversation, pretending none of it bothered him at all. Even though everyone could tell it did.