As someone who works with small children, Alice absolutely nailed Olly’s complete lack of personal space and inability to sit still for more than 2 seconds.
I think it’s very powerful what you put on Twitter the other day actually, where you said “apparently some people on here know my sexuality better than I do”, because I just don’t think that anyone on this planet has a right to anyone’s identity on any level. I think that was such a powerful statement to put out there.
This fic is written in collaboration by @sorry-i-ship-drarry and @drarrywords on an anon request.
Part one available here
Part two available here
Part three available here
Part Four (12K words)
warning: character death.
"You will remember memories because memories are whispers of fantasies that became real, memories are stories and a trace of the memories, shimmers within you.
In dusk, or in the light of dawn in the cities or in the semi-slumber at twilight. Memories will remain with you forever, beyond the fickle world of supernovas of stars and the slow collapse of our universes.
You will remember them because memories are whispers of fantasies that became real, memories are stories and a trace of the memories, shimmers within you.
In dusk, or in the light of dawn in the cities or in the semi-slumber at twilight. Memories will remain with you forever, beyond the fickle world of supernovas of stars and the slow collapse of our universes."
Pale, soft sunlight rustles through the clouds, raindrops on the bedroom window, dew on the leaves and soft mist in the air and there is a sweet scent of petrichor in it.
He searches for his name in his contacts and dials him. On the other end of the line, he can hear the sound of his soft breaths, “Harry?”
A tear slides down his cheek when he hears the sound of his voice, a voice he has wanted to hear in the silent nights or in the hours of dusk. But he can't string together the correct sequence of words to describe it, “You broke up with me over this?”
“I’m sorry, I thought if you heard the truth, it’ll break you.”
“But we would’ve had more time together.”
Now, there is a silence on the other side and he can hear his own heart break and soon, he might break too, “Is there a chance that you have more time?”
“Yes, yes eight days, all yours.” Draco whispers into the phone with a soft sob and it clenches at his heartstrings a bit too tight because he doesn’t want to hear him cry. Or he might cry, too.
“Major swoon.”
“Harry, where are you?”
Harry reaches out, a slight tremble to his hand and rings the doorbell.
He hears the sound of his faint footsteps through the phone and soon, the door opens and Draco stands there, his mouth caught open in a small 'o'.
He has semi-dark rings underneath his eyes, his skin has lost the soft, warm tone. He is in a maroon sweater, soft and pristine with a golden H in the centre. It's his sweater.
Harry inches closer to him and in the silence outside, he reruns the voicemail he had received.
“Hey, Harry. It's Draco, I'm sure you remember me. Or not. If I were you, I wouldn't remember me. But I'm sorry, Harry. I'm sorry I said that I don't love you. It wasn't true, none of that was true. I once said that I love you more than starlight, that we could be in other universes and in other timelines and I will love you there and in the different timelines and that was the truth. I said don't doubt that, don't believe me if I say otherwise but you did and I'm sorry for that.
But why did you believe me, Harry?
Or why did you believe me when I said that the universe where we travel to Paris, Munich and Amsterdam and fall in love over and over, a universe where we're together isn't ours? I want it to be ours, it could've been ours. But there is a reason it isn't. I don't have much time.
Harry, if we had more time together, that universe would've been ours and now, I wish it would've been ours sooner. In other universes, we're together, side by side and in one, we're not together. In one, I might be on my way to you. But in this one, I won't be here with you.
I don't want you to doubt if I love you or not, because I do. I love you more than starlight and throughout our lives, if I say otherwise, it won't be the truth. We could be in other universes, in other timelines and I would love you there and through different timelines and I want to hold on to that love.
The stars and the infinite universes will collapse before I cease to love you. I'm sorry, we could've had it all. But the universe has become too huge now and I want to hold on to you. One last time.”
He whispers, with a soft crack to his voice while tears trickle down his cheek. A small knot forms in his throat, “I'm here.”
“You heard the voicemail.” The words come out choked and in a soft whisper and his fingers tremble on his side, his phone held in his hand a bit too tight.
He holds out his hand to him and with a soft sob, his arms curl around him as he pulls Harry into a tight embrace, his face buried in his neck, “You heard it, you're here now.”
He wants to resist the desire to return it because there is much to be said but he is here now and he has wanted to be with him, to hold him for months now and he wants to do that, “Yes, yes I heard your voicemail and I'm back home, I'm back home to you.”
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
The small wisps of cloud swirl in the sky, with a soft tint of tangerine and pink and the wind hums in a soft tune and with it, there is a scent of the oncoming night.
"Details, I want the details. I want the what and the when and I want the why."
“Oh, what is it? It's because of the cruciatus curse and because it was cast on me over and over for such long durations and that is fatal. The when - when I was back home from London, that is when I had the results back and I'm not sure what details you want in the why."
Oh, he wants several details in the why but he can't string the words together because there is a constriction in his throat and tears in the corners of his eyes, "Harry?"
Draco reaches up and presses his hand against his cheek. He turns his face into the curve of his palm and kisses it while tears slide down his cheeks, "Baby, what is it?"
"Isn't there a fraction of a chance that we can reverse this? Isn't there a cure we can find? Or a charm or a new potion or -"
"Harry, baby," He places a finger underneath his chin and tilts his head up towards him with the softest smile and tears in his own eyes, "we can't reverse this and now, there is no more time - eight days, not more and I want to be with you."
"But why did you do that?" Harry turns his head and the tip of his nose brushes his cheek, "you said you didn't love me and you broke both our hearts when you could've been honest and we would've had more time together."
Draco reaches out and interlaces their fingers together, "Because I couldn't do that to you, I couldn't break your heart with the truth. But I could break it with lies. Question is, why did you believe them, Harry?"
"Oh, no, not once did I believe your lies or doubt your love, or that you love me more than starlight because love isn't words, Draco. It's more than that."
"If it's not words, what is it?"
"Oh, love is a secret language between two hearts, a language without words. You can hear the whisper of love in the silence. You've heard mine and I've heard yours."
Draco rests his forehead on his shoulder, his fingers curl into his shirt and tighten when he whispers, "Yes, love might be a language but words are beautiful, Harry and I want you to hear that I love you, I love you, I love you."
"Draco." He brushes their lips together, light and soft but it sends a faint shiver down his spine. He wants to return that with an I love you of his own but he becomes wordless. He wants to build a universe, one where there would be more time, where there would be cities and secret destinations where he can fall in love with Draco over and over. A universe where he comes back home to him.
“I hear you,” Draco whispers as he clinks their foreheads together, his hands tentative against his chest, "Stay with me?"
“Until the end.”
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
“I read about prisms and the physics of it.” Draco whispers into the soft silence of the night, his head tilted up at the night sky. The moon casts a faint, yet desolate light in the sky, clouds drifting like veils across it. Flecks of stars dot the lilac-grey sky.
“Mhm, what did you find out?”
“The basics of it, that when light passes through a prism, it forms a spectrum of seven colours and I thought more on that and I thought that water droplets are the small prisms in the sky and when sunlight passes through the infinite water droplets, it forms a rainbow in the sky,”
“Yes, the more scientific term for that is the dispersion of light.”
Draco breathes out a soft breath and it forms a cloud of air in front of him, “Sure, but isn’t it brilliant that those small droplets and the sunlight together can result in such a beautiful phenomenon?”
Harry intertwines their fingers together, “Mhm, now to break that down into a more non-metaphorical sentence, the smallest reasons can light you up and colour your world?”
“No, that is a shit logic because none of that is true and if you believe that, it’s tragic.”
Harry inches closer to him, his mouth close to Draco’s ear and whispers, “Oh, but is it tragic that you’re all of those small but infinite reasons for me?”
A faint shade of red tints Draco’s cheeks.
“Oh, now don’t flatter me and hear me out - the water droplets are small pieces of you, of your heart and soul and the sunlight is the one you love and when you’re with them, light falls on those small pieces and that colours your skies in those seven vibrant shades.”
Harry hums, “Yeah, that is more beautiful logic than mine and by the said logic of yours, you are the light that falls over the prism of my heart and soul and your light colours my skies in those vibrant shades.”
A beautiful, remarkable light fills his silver eyes and there, that light falls over his heart and soul and colours his skies in more colours than the seven vibrant ones. He is the music within him, beautiful like the rustle of light between leaves, a tune of his heart, soft like the song of the stars and a stanza of his favourite poem, the one that he holds within his heart, “Is that so?”
Harry places a small kiss on his cheekbone, “Yes but because I’m sort of curious, do I happen to be the light that falls over the prism of your heart and soul? Is it mutual? It better be mutual or I will be heartbroken.”
It elicits a soft laugh out of Draco.
“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know?”
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
“Do you remember our date?” Draco whispers that night while he reads out poems from a book with his head on his chest, the book between them. The soft timbre, the cadence of his voice when he reads poems - it's beautiful.
“Baby, we've had a thousand dates over the years, which one?”
“Our second date, you were such a charmer.”
Harry brushes a light feather light kiss over his cheekbone, "Yes, I remember that date."
"Remember when you decided to change the crosswalk symbol lights for me and I said that it was romantic?"
"Yes, I remember that I said I would move mountains for you in the name of romance."
Draco inches closer to him and their lips brush together when he whispers, "I would do the same for you - move mountains in the name of romance."
"Oh, would you, now?"
"You shouldn't doubt that, I would change the crosswalk symbol light for you."
"No, you won't, that isn't your style of romance, it's mine."
"I would rewrite the name of our favorite stars and change it to your name instead?"
The corners of his mouth curve into a soft smile, "Now, that is more your style of romance, love."
But by now, his mind traces back to that summer night with clear skies and a thousand stars - the night of the second date.
A sweet scent in the night air, ice cream parlours around every corner, even the french windows wide open, the rhyme of psithurism so vivid in the heat haze. Summertime is a beautiful dream, it's the brush of the warm air on your skin, clear skies and the soft flow of rivers.
On this summer night, he is outside his office with a date in mind.
Harry breathes out a slow, trembling breath while he checks the time in his wristwatch. It reads 9:52:02 PM. Now, with eight more minutes to spare, he dials him. It rings five times before Draco is on the other end of the line, “Harry?”
“Hey, I assume you’re still in the office by yourself with a stack of paperwork on your desk that you don’t want to do or care about, for that matter?”
“Yeah, it’s rather unfortunate.”
“Not that I want to bother you but do you have moments to spare for a call?”
He hears a soft rustle of the said paperwork and the click of his pen, “Well actually, the break starts in four minutes or so -you know, never mind, work can wait for once - yes, yes I have a few moments”
“So, how much time do you have?”
“Oh, eight minutes, all yours.”
Harry can’t resist a small smile of his own here because that might’ve not been intentional but it endears him, “Major swoon, it’s romantic of you to sacrifice your work hours for a call.”
“Harry, I will block your number.”
“Will you, now?”
“I - no, yes, what the fuck, Harry?”
It elicits a soft chuckle out of him, “Now that we’ve established you won’t block me, what plans do you have for dinner? Same old black coffee and chicken salad?”
“Harry, you make it sound so dull but if you must know, I’m heading out for burgers and chips, there is a small burger joint on the corner of the street and I’ve heard that it’s the best burger in the city - what are your plans?”
Shit, that he hadn’t thought of but right off the top of his head, he says, “Oh, I - chicken pasta with wine and dessert and a movie but I’m waiting for someone to show up, he isn’t here yet.”
“You - wait, you have a date?” His voice is light, clipped and superficial, a tone that was all too familiar to him and now, he has to resist the incessant desire to laugh here because if he does, it’ll ruin the surprise and you can’t blame him for this, not when Draco rescheduled four dates.
“Mhm, yes I do.”
“He isn’t there yet?”
“No, not yet.”
“Well, it’s not good etiquette if you have to wait for him.”
“I’m sure he has his reasons”
Draco remains silent for a moment but Harry can hear the sound of faint footsteps, “Well, are you afraid he stood you up?”
“Not really. I know he’ll show up.”
“Oh, how are you so sure?”
The door in front of him opens and there he is, in front of Harry. Small strands of blond hair fall over his forehead and one rests over his right eye. It trembles in the faint wind. His steps falter while the door closes behind him with a soft thud, “Because, he’s here.”
“Oh I bet, I bet.” He whispers that into the phone before he ends the call and slips it back in and inches closer to him, the corners of his mouth curving into the softest smile. It's contagious.
“Can I take you out on a date?”
“Yes, but remember, no more than eight minutes, Harry.”
“Good, ‘cause those eight minutes are all I need.”
Not that he wants to oversell himself here because most of his spontaneous plans turn out to be delightful or turn into one of the worst case scenarios one couldn't have thought of and the only worst case scenario here would be rain in summer. Or a meteor crash.
“You’re sure that 8 minutes will be enough?"
"Yes, I’m sure.”
The time in his watch now is 9:58:00.
Harry holds out an arm to him and a subtle smile graces his face while he curls his fingers around his arm with a tight but gentle grip, "Our date starts soon, we should rush."
He rushes to the curb but the crosswalk lights show a red hand and he must've done the calculations wrong because it shouldn't show that and because he has no patience, he casts a charm on it to cross the street and it's not his proudest moment because he is 99 per-cent sure that isn't legal and his defence might not hold well in court but is on a clock here.
"Romantic of you to change the crosswalk light symbol for me."
"Oh, I'll move mountains for you in the name of romance.”
It elicits a soft chuckle out of Draco.
The two of them cross the intersection to the other side of the curb and towards one of the buildings on that street, in a row of the same worn-out, red-brick ones, "Wait, why here?"
"Not here but the rooftop and I would reveal the specifics of ‘why’ if we had more time here but we're in a rush, I said it would be an eight minute date and there is a staircase involved, too."
“Oh, well that is fair.”
With that, the two of them reach to the rooftop through the stairs with a soft, light-hearted flirt-fest between them and outside, on that rooftop, the soft summer breeze brushes over their skin and the clear skies hold several stars. It’s 10:00:00 and the next few minutes are now theirs.
The rooftop was fairly decorated with golden-silver fairy lights and the light shaded parasol.
On the floor, there is an array of pillows, blankets and sheets and there is a radio on one corner and a slow music drifts there, a song that he hasn’t heard before but the instrumentals are soft and light-hearted.
“Harry, it’s beautiful out here.”
“Yes, but this isn’t the main reason we’re here, I have a surprise for you.” Harry rushed towards the entrance of the door and picked up the flower crowns in his hands and walked back to Draco.
“A flower crown?”
“Bouquets are overrated, I would do that but I’m sure you find this much better.”
Draco smiles that beautiful, brilliant smile of his and leanes down nonetheless so Harry can place the crown over his head. “Yeah, there, you look pretty.”
“So do you.”
Harry takes Draco by his arm towards the sheets on the floor and settles down there with him and with that, he whistles into the silence there, slow and soft, “Wait, was that a whistle?”
“Wait for it.”
A small bark sounds at a distance and three puppies run towards him as if they were in a mini race of their own with a metaphorical line to cross. But while the other two slow down and halt there, Louie races towards him instead and stumbles over the blanket and falls in front of him.
“Draco, this is Louie and we call him Lou.”
Draco holds out his palm to Louie, who wags his tail and places a paw in his hand and the softest smile, softer than the feather crosses his lips and his eyes light up, too and there, their eyes meet once more, “You remembered.”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”
One night, over a call and in a silent moment, he had mentioned that he wanted puppies in his house, too and that it was tragic that he didn’t have one,“Because I thought I was subtle, I thought you wouldn’t remember.”
But he did because he had committed it to memory in the nights filled with endless chatter, texts and bright screens. Or when the morning sun would soothe him out of slumber and when his eyes would focus on the texts of the night before when his phone would light up with one more text, “But I do.”
“Now, you have not one but three puppies here but since we’re on a clock, you have six and half minutes with them and I want to introduce you to the other two since our Louie here introduced himself.”
“Oh, but he is a delight.”
Harry holds one of the other puppies that stumbles towards him and strokes her red, silky coat while she reaches for his fingers to chew on them, no doubt, but in vain. Instead, he reaches out for a box on one side and removes a ball for her to chew on, “Now, this is Artemis, she is like the baby of the trio.”
Draco scratches the back of her ear but she is too invested in her own tactics here and Archie is more interested in the treats in the box because he is on a mission to open it with his small paws and whatever strength he has in him, “Question, which one of the two is you?”
“Oh, not you, too.”
Draco kisses the top of Louie’s head before he stumbles out of his reach and runs towards Archie to open that box of treats with him, “Sue me if I’m incorrect here, but in this mini-trio, Louie is you.”
“Oh, is that why you have a sudden obsession with him?”
“Why, yes that is the reason but he has a sudden obsession with me, too.”
A delicate shade of crimson blossoms across his cheeks.
“I must mention this, Artemis and you are similar, you’re both such babies.” Harry tells Draco and in response he receives a mock-gasp in return.
“Well and I must mention that Bella would not be too thrilled now that you’re with them.”
“Oh well, when has Bella ever been fond of me? Not that it matters all that much but she is more fond of you than me and it shouldn’t be that way, I deserve more love from her.”
“I’m more lovable than you.”
The next two minutes dissolve in soft laughs, light banter and the sound of music echoing there and the sounds of the moving city more distant. The tilt of his smile, the crinkles by the corners of his silver eyes, or the soft sound of his laugh while Louie troubles him with Archie and Artemis. It’s more beautiful than the night itself. “Now, the moment of truth - this was the best, thank you.”
“Wait, who said there isn’t one more surprise left?” On his side, he texts a ‘now’ in all caps to one of his friends and right on cue the fireworks went off in the distance, a magnificent sight, the vivid red, orange, purple and green colours on the canvas of the night sky that shatters into a thousand sparks.
Draco interlaces their fingers together once more, his voice breathless as he whispers his name. A slight touch of those lights catches in his silver eyes, glimmering with awe and his smile ever so contagious.
Harry strokes Artemis’ silky coat with a slight smile of his own as he watches the mini-trio side by side, together, their eyes on the fireworks, curious and fascinated by the vibrant lights in the sky.
One final, brilliant flash of light went up in the sky and broke into sparks and with that it’s over.
“Harry, that was beautiful,”
“No, it wasn’t as beautiful as you are.” A brilliant shade of crimson colours his cheeks and for that, he places a kiss on his cheeks, shy and tentative, which turns it into a much brighter shade.
Harry checks his wrist watch once more and tilts his head towards the beautiful view of the skyline and he wants to stay here, he wants the clocks to cease for one night and be here until the darkness clears and the sun rises filling the sky with shades of hazel, golden and red but he knew he can’t, so, he enjoys the last one minute he have with Draco under the lights of hundreds silver stars that float overhead.
“The night will be over soon, we’re out of time.”
Now, with that the two of them return back there, a soft silence between them and their fingers interlaced and once they reach the destination, they stay there with no more than thirty seconds left for the night to be over, “It was a beautiful night, thank you.”
“Is there a chance that I might’ve earned a goodnight kiss?”
Draco inches closer and brushes their lips together in a light manner — and still that light touch sends shivers through his spine and his body trembles in the slightest, “Goodnight, Harry.”
When the 30 seconds were over, he went back in with the flower crown and a slight smile of his own.
It’s a beautiful summer night.
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
A beautiful amethyst-purple tint invades the late night summer skies, with the soft lights of a thousand stars and a crescent moon. The wind brushes over their skin, warm and tender.
"I read a myth that the wishes on the lanterns we release in the sky are caught by the stars and that our wishes remain there but as soon as the wishes are fulfilled, the stars fall."
Draco lights the fuel source of the lantern when he does, he traces his fingertips over the wish he had written on it in his elegant cursive.
He wants to hear more of that.
Because it's beautiful that he has read the myths, stories, ancient legends or that he has his own theories.
Harry reads it once and he wishes that the stars catch the wish, one that was decided together, and that it falls when it becomes true, "Oh, but we wish on the falling stars too, don't we?"
"True, but it's said that when a star falls, it carries one last wish with it."
He tilts his head with a soft hum while the two of them hold the lantern at the bottom, around the structural ring, "If that is true, a star better hold catch our wish."
He sends him a slight smile, his eyes softer around the corners while he whispers, "It will."
Together, they release the lantern into the air and it's beautiful, warm light is vibrant while it ascends in the night sky, "Beautiful, isn't it?"
Harry reaches out and brushes the back of his fingers over his cheek, "Yes, it's beautiful."
Draco kisses his fingertips, a feather light brush of his lips and it sends shivers down his spine, "I want you to have it back."
"You want me to have what back?"
"Turn around and close your eyes." He whispers into the silence, his voice soft and a touch hesitant with a slight tremble to it.
He tilts his head at the sky, towards the lantern that is much smaller now and with a soft hum, he turns around and closes his eyes.
A cold metal touches his skin, over his chest and his fingers reach towards it. A single tear trickles down his cheek while he holds it close.
It's the moonstone ring.
Draco's warm breath brushes over his neck while he clasps the chain there, "You once said that your heart will be with me. Mine will be with you, too. Always. It's yours. All of it."
He places his fingers over Draco’s wrist so tightly that he can feel the throb of his pulse against his fingers, the press of his skin against Draco’s veins, "All of it?"
"All of it."
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
The flames of the fireplace dance through the amber liquid of the glass in his hand, the hearth fire has now burnt down to embers and it casts a soft, warm light over the room.
The sound of the movie is drowned out by the soft laughs and the lighthearted banter in the room but there was a weight over their hearts.
"Question for you now - when and where did you first realise that you were in love with Harry?" It's delivered by Narcissa with a slight amusement in her voice and a subtle smirk that she has whenever she has one of her wins.
A faint shade of red tints his cheeks and he hides his eyes behind his cards. It might take a while before he caves in, "No, no, no."
Lucius scrunches his nose, "What do you mean no? You decided to call her bluff and you didn't win, rules state that she can ask you whatever she wants to and you must answer."
Harry whistles, unable to hide his own amusement here because it's the highlight of his week, "Oh, how the tables have turned."
"Harry, don't encourage them more."
"Oh, no, I want to find out when it is that you first thought you were in love with me, I have to encourage this."
Harry receives a high-five from the both of them for that, "Oh, you're outnumbered, love."
"Oh, fine. It was 24th May, 2004, he wrote a poem for me and sent it with blue orchids, a picture of four puppies and a small note that said: because work was a magnificent headache for you and since you have to stay overtime, here is a poem for you but don't you dare trouble me over its quality, it's the first poem I've written."
Oh, shit - not that story.
"Oh, no, wait, do not continue that story." It wasn't the smartest tactic because now, by the reaction he had, he will have to hear it and Draco is more interested in it now than he was.
"No, no, now I must continue the story if it embarasses you, shouldn't I? Besides, I'm outnumbered and rules are rules."
"Oh, now rules are rules?"It is now his turn to hide behind his cards or wish for the floor to open up and swallow him. Or be six feet under.
Draco reaches out and interlaces their fingers together, "Yes, but I want to continue it because out of all the stories that you and I have, it's the best one, isn't it?"
Lucius whistles, "If it embarasses the chosen one, it is the best story you can offer and you can print it out, it'll be on the front page."
Narcissa delivers a light punch on his arm,"Lucius, I love you but I swear, you have no sense whatsoever, why must you intrude on their moment?"
"I'm offended that you said I have no sense."
"Yeah, full offence intended there."
The banter fades into the background when his eyes are caught in the silver ones and he can hear him recall 24th May, 2004.
Draco holds the folded piece of paper in his hand with a slight smile while he reads the poem over and over and his heart softly stutters in his chest. It's the words he wants to commit to memory because it's beautiful, because the words are for him.
✵°✵.•✵
"If I could have one wish,
It would be to stay with you on rooftops and watch the skies,
Skies that will hold colours but none of them will be as beautiful as the ones in your eyes.
Or when there is a brighter light,
when the skies are tinted with the soft colours of hazel, golden and red,
there will be several words between us in the light of dusk, left unsaid.
Because we have our own language,
one that is silence and not the twenty six letters,
It writes itself between us, in the soft wind of the summers.
On that night, when there are shooting stars in the sky,
Know that I'll have made a wish for time to cease, but if it doesn't, we'll meet where the falling star lives.
✵°✵.•✵
"You wrote a poem for me?"
"Yes but the poem is cliche and the absolute worst, isn't it?" Harry says on the other side and the sound of his voice is a medicine and it's a voice that he can hear for hours.
"Quite the opposite, it's romantic and the absolute best poem I've read in years and the best gift I could've received." Draco reassures with the paper in his hand, the words right before him.
"Now, that isn't true."
"Oh, but it is and you should consider a career in it because this deserves an A+ and you've definitely earned yourself one more date and a kiss."
He can hear the trace of a smile in his voice when he says, "Oh, have I now?"
"I'm sorry I had to reschedule our movie night, I did want to watch Titanic with you and cry whilst I was at it and hear you call me a crybaby."
"No, don't be sorry, it's no trouble, you had to work overtime, it isn't your fault but yes, it's true, you are most definitely a crybaby."
He hears a soft bark on the other side of the line, a loud crash with it and more barks and that elicits a variation of curses out of Harry. "Trouble at work?"
Draco can sense that he is in a rush on the other side by the sound of his faint footsteps through the phone, "Yes, I'm sorry but raincheck?"
A weight settles over him and the tone of his voice changes in the slightest, "It's no trouble, you can call me whenever you want to."
"Will do, I love you."
But time ceases there and he can hear the soft tick of his watch, a small, small knot in his throat because it's the first time he has said that to him.
The words turn in his mind over and over and soon, in his own sky, the stars align to create a new, beautiful constellation and that sky holds more light than it has in years.
'I love you.'
Draco is out of his train of thought when his cell lights up and vibrates with a new text and it's from him: I recall that I said I love you but that wasn't me, that was Louie.
"Oh, was it, now?"
Wait, no, that is the worst excuse in the history of worst excuses, I'm sorry?
Because he is shallow and wants to trouble him, he leaves it there, on read, and right on cue, there are two frantic texts from Harry: Draco???
The second one elicits a laugh out of him with a trace of fondness in it and that is where he realises it: Don't break up with me otherwise I'll cry.
'I love you, I love you, I love you.'
Because why wouldn't he?
He receives one more text: Nevermind, I'm not sorry I said that because I do love you.
He wants to send him a text, write 'I love you' back to him but no combination of twenty six letters can capture a sliver of it. Not here.
Instead, that night, at 12:00 AM, he sends Harry a poem of his own with a blue box and in it, is a small badge that is familiar to the both of them and it says: "I love you, you stubborn pain in the ass."
Soon, his screen lights up with one more text from him: A stubborn pain in the ass?
Well, you are, aren't you?
"Oh, the beloved chosen one embarasses himself way too often, doesn't he?" Lucius had that slight, self-satisfied smirk on and it's worse now that he has heard that story.
Harry sets three cards down on the table, facedown when the new round starts with the aces, "Three aces and says you. You were once lost on the bus to the shops."
"Now, that was one time."
Bella races back towards Draco when she is done with the chase of her own shadow in the corner of the room and he lights up in the slightest, "Oh, what did you find in your shadow hunt, love?"
She meows, reaches out for his hand and holds her tongue out. He scratches the back of her ear and says, "Who's our lil' baby?"
It's true, if he could have one wish, it would be to stay here with him, "Harry?"
He turns back towards Narcissa and brushes off the tears on his cheeks but there are tears in her eyes too, "Yeah?"
"When did you first realise that you were in love with him?"
Harry tilts his head towards Draco and he is caught in the faint light in his eyes like a thousand fireflies, the crinkles by the corners.
Tousled hair, moonlight pale skin, and beautiful eyes. He is caught off guard by the way the light of the room reflects over his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. Caught off guard in a way that he often was, simply by how beautiful he is, “Oh, there was never a moment that I wasn’t."
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The light of the sun cascades into the kitchen, wafting through the window and dust modes float, suspended, in the room. Soft music sounds through the radio in the silence with the occasional sizzle of bacon.
Arms wrap around his torso and one hand slides to his chest with a feather-light kiss on his shoulder, his voice hoarse when he whispers, "Good morning, Harry."
Harry turns towards him with a slight smile, his back on the counter and hands around his waist, "Because it's not 10:00 AM you're not irritable today, I must pose a question - who are you and where is Draco?"
"I'm not that irritable in the morning."
"No, you're worse."
Draco places a kiss on his cheek, his eyes softer around the corners, "I had a dream."
"Is that dream the reason you're in such a brilliant mood?"
Draco's lips brush over his, softly, delicately, like butterfly wings and his heart stutters in his chest, "Yes, that might be it because it was a beautiful one."
"Mm, what was it about?"
Draco trails his fingers down his arms to his own hand and he interlaces their fingers together, "I want to show it to you with charm through which you and I can relieve that dream together."
"Wait, I'm in it?"
He brushes a strand of hair out of his face with a soft smile of his own, the one reserved for him, "No, you're it."
"Now, I want you to show it to me because you've become such a romantic."
"No, I'm more romantic than you are."
"Baby, you won't win."
Draco inches closer to him and their lips brush together when he whispers, “Sure, but because I come home to roses, the dirtiest notes on post-its, kisses on the forehead and date nights. Or slow dances in the kitchen but I might win because I'm more romantic than you. True story."
"Sure, you might because you burn our dinner on accident, gift me a self-annotated book of poems, visit new cities with me on weekends, or because you lose in scrabble or chess on purpose when I distract you with kisses but you're not because I'm the romantic one between you and me"
"We can have this debate over breakfast but now, I have to show you that dream."
"Wait for five more minutes or our breakfast will burn."
"Breakfast can wait."
"No, it can't."
Draco widens his eyes, raises his eyebrows and sticks his bottom lip out, while tilting his head a little downward for more persuasion and it works like a charm because it crumbles the weak defense that he has around his heart, "Oh, fuck you."
"Now, can I show you it?"
"Would it matter if I said not now?"
"No, it wouldn't because I have several methods of persuasion and you'll have no choice but to relive it with me, now can't your breakfast wait?"
Not that he doesn't want to relive it, it's that the breakfast might burn. But because it's him, it can wait or burn for that matter, "Sure, it can wait but if the breakfast burns, it's on you and you're on breakfast duties for the rest of the week."
"Spare yourself and don't do that, I burn our breakfast more often than not - seventeen times, to be precise."
"No, it was eighteen, did you count the treacle tarts?"
"Oh, yes it was eighteen."
"Yes, it was but now, show me that dream of yours." He said with an endeared undertone and a small, soft kiss on his forehead.
Draco interlaces both their hands together and whispers a charm and a soft string of light binds them together. A white light swirls in the room and soon, he is in a fragment of his mind, the one with dreams.
Soft music sounds from the radio, a slow, beautiful tone.
On the refrigerator, there were post-its with small, scribbled notes and there are photo-frames on one of the walls - one from the vacation to Paris, India, Australia and other countries. Cities, towns and beautiful villages and more.
Harry pours the hot cocoa into a black ceramic cup with and sifts a dash of cocoa powder over mini-marshmallows and casts a charm on it, for it to remain warm.
The door opens with a small whistle of the wind and there is a soft hum in the distance, the tune of the song on the radio. It closes with a small thud. The sound of his footsteps echoes behind him, "Is that for me?"
The sound of his voice causes warmth to course through him and settle in a soft, delicate pattern around his heart, "You wish."
Draco inches closer to him and brushes their noses together, "But work was a magnificent headache today, I want hot cocoa, too."
"No, this one isn't yours or mine. It's hers and if you want it, it will be troublesome for you because she is stubborn and I'm on her side."
"But I'm your husband."
"Sure but no."
In a distance, he hears her faint footsteps and she rushes into the kitchen, towards Draco and he crouches down to catch her and spins her around once, pure adoration in his eyes, "Hey, munchkin."
"You're back home, you're back home, you're back home."
"Yes, yes, I'm back home but, I want a favour from you, will you be a sweetheart and do that for me?" He places her down on the counter, his hands on her side.
"Sure, I can do that for you." Lili tilts her head towards him to be sure of that deal but because he is shallow, he has turned her on his side and he directs a firm 'no' in a subtle manner, "But I'll hear you out first."
"Mhm, your dad has turned you to his side."
"He hasn't, you were the one who said that we should hear a deal first."
Oh, she is a smart one.
"You're five, since when did you become that smart, munchkin?" Draco is much too endeared by her now and it's beautiful to be here for that, for that light in his eyes and the slight tilt of the corners of his mouth, for the love he holds for her in his heart.
"Now, there is a warm cup of hot cocoa here for you but because work was a magnificent headache, can I have it instead?"
"But what will I have in return for that?"
"I will tell you a secret, but you have to promise me that it remains between us."
"A secret?"
"Yes."
She tilts her head towards the cup of hot cocoa and towards him and back towards Draco, "It's yours, I want to hear a secret."
"It's a deal, munchkin but you promise it stays between us?" He holds out a pinkie finger to her and she entwines her own pinkie with his to signify that promise.
He covers her ear with his hand and whispers purposefully loud to her, "I have a crush on your dad."
"On dad?" She whispers with a soft laugh, far too amused with that secret and with that, she crawls over to Harry on the counter and she raises her arms for him to hold her. So he does.
“Dad, father said he has a crush on you.”
“Oh, did he, now?”
A light catches in in soft, silver eyes.
He is the music within him, beautiful like the rustle of light between leaves, a tune of his heart, soft like the song of the stars and a stanza of his favourite poem, the one that he holds within his heart.
"Now, you can't reveal this secret, you have to promise me that you won’t, but I have a crush on your father, too." He whispers to her, loud for him to hear it.
It elicits one more laugh out of her and she tilts her head towards him, “Dad has a crush on you, too.”
“Oh, does he, now?” Draco sends a soft smile towards him with a hint of a smirk in it.
“You can't have the hot cocoa now because I broke your promise and now, I have your secret with me and hot cocoa too.”
"You’re such a traitor.”
“I’m not a traitor.”
“Yes, you are.”
She sticks out her tongue, stumbles out his hold and on the counter towards the cup of hot cocoa, “Lili, you'll burn your tongue - why don't you stay in your room and I'll be right there with your hot cocoa.”
"But what if he drinks it?"
"Oh, he wouldn't dare."
She reaches out to him once more and he twirls her once before she runs back to her room, "No hot cocoa for me now?"
"You wouldn't dare to touch hers now, would you?"
"No, I wouldn't but our daughter is a traitor, she revealed a secret to you."
"Oh, I'm sorry, what secret?"
Draco catches his fingers, places a hand on his waist and pushes him back and pins him on the wall, "Oh, that I have a crush on you."
"But you do, don't you?"
He tightens his hand on his waist and a breath is caught in his throat, "Why, yes I do and I hear you have a crush on me, too."
Harry twists the positions and now, Draco is on the wall. He trails his fingers over the soft fabric of his shirt, over his arms and down to his hands. He interlaces their fingers together, pins his arms above his head, "Oh, yes I might but what will you do about it, baby?"
But soon, he hears Lili's voice from her own bedroom.
“Dad, it’s time for hot cocoa and bedtime stories, where are you?”
Draco rests his head on his shoulder and laughs into the soft fabric of his blue sweater, a faint laugh and warmth surges through him, “It’s hot cocoa and bedtime stories hour, not pin your husband on the wall hour.”
“But when is that hour?”
“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know?”
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
“I'll always love you.”
"Always?" A beautiful light catches in his silver eyes and it softens around the corners.
Harry trails his fingers closer to Draco's heart and whispers, “I'll love you in the snow, in the rain, autumn and winter. I'll love you in all seasons. I'll love you on the moon or on other planets, too. I'll love you in our universe or in other universes, in our timeline and in other timelines because there is no version of this where I don't love you. Always, I'll love you.”
“Always, I'll love you, too.”
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
“The stream had washed away all regret for her lover, and she saw now that he had been cruel and faithless, and that -”
Harry halts outside the room and leans on the doorframe with his arms crossed and he hears the sound of his voice while he reads to Rose, the fountain of fair fortune. He has the book between them, one arm behind her.
The light of the bedside table lamp caught in his silver eyes, over his skin and the scars on his arm. He has that trace of a smile which is all the more beautiful.
But it reminds him that there isn't more time and a crack slices it’s way into his heart because he won’t have this. The illusions, the flight of fancy of a forever that he wants is broken here and he can’t save it. But he can be here now because it’s the last time.
He doesn't want to hear the sound of heartbreak.
But his heart is stained with sadness and it taints his cheeks with tears. He has to hold it together but he can't because soon, none of this will be here. He won't hear him read stories to Rose. Or to him when he has nightmares, “Read me one more.”
“Sure but do you want me to read one from here or do you want to hear a new one?”
“A new one.”
“Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess, her name was Rose and she went to bed - the end.”
“No, that isn't a story.”
“Yes it is, you're princess and you went to bed, that is the story and it's your favourite one, isn't it?”
“No, it’s not, I want to hear one more story.” Rose says and holds out the storybook to him for one more story before bedtime and now, that is his cue to intrude and conclude the bedtime story fest here because Draco can’t refuse. Not when it’s Rose.
“You can hear more tomorrow, love - it's 11:00, well past your bedtime, yeah?” Harry says and heads towards the bed and beside Draco while he smoothes her hair back and kisses her forehead and he hears him whisper ‘I love you’ to her one last time.
“But I love you the mostest.”
“Oh, do you now?”
Harry turns out the lamp and holds out his hand to Draco and he interlaces their fingers together with a hint of a smile, ``Nighty night, sweetheart.”
The door closes behind them with a soft thud and with that, the two of them walk to their bedroom, past the photo frames on the wall - one of Bella, from the mini-vacations out of town, the one from Tokyo, and the more recent ones. More memories.
Once the door closes, Draco catches his belt loops to hold him close and brushes his lips over the scar on his forehead and it causes a smile to settle over him, one that hasn’t been there since four days or more, “You remember our dance on the beach on one of our anniversaries?”
“Oh, why wouldn’t I when you said I’m the worst dancer?”
Draco brushes a strand of hair out of his eye, “I don’t believe those were the actual words but yes, you’re the worst dancer but if it’s a consolation, I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
“No, those were the actual words.”
“I’m not that rude, don’t be such a bitch to me.”
“But you are that rude.”
Harry rests his head over his chest, over the soft fabric of his sweater, to hear the sound of his heartbeat. Draco places a hand on the small of his back to hold him there and bends down to whisper into his ear, “Not to you. Never to you because I’m soft for you.”
“Oh, is that so?”
“Yes but it’s true, you can’t dance.”
Harry raises a hand to Draco's face, a slight tremble to his fingers and traces his thumb across his cheekbone and it might be love that is stuck there in his throat or the rambling passion he has for him that he couldn't form words, “No, but you’ll teach, won’t you?”
Draco places a single finger under his chin, tilts his head up to kiss him, soft and slow, and the constriction in his throat flows out like a tidal wave, “Sure, if you insist but remember it this time, yeah?”
He has to remember because it’s his last dance with him and to dance together amid the light in the bedroom, amid the soft tune in mind, one of love and heartache. One last time, "I'll remember."
Draco interlaces their fingers together once more and twirls him round once and his hand trails down to his waist in a firm, yet gentle grip, "Now, I've said it before, you dance in the beats of four - one, two, three, four," He demonstrates while he dances to a tune in his own head, one that is familiar to him, "It's a box."
"Sure but I've said it before, it's not a box, it's more than that."
Draco brushes a kiss on his cheekbone, "Don't be such a baby, it's not more than that and it's a slow dance, it's not that hard."
“No, it’s hard but why would you relate when you're such a brilliant dancer?”
“Oh, it's all natural talent.”
“I bet, I bet.”
He dances with him in the bedroom to the soft hum of a tune in his ear, one that he had invented himself, with a tandem of his own accord and there, in the moment of closeness, their hearts beat in a sync and soon, as their hearts follow each other's lead, they beat as one and with them, their hearts dance too, “You're much better now.”
Harry whistles, “Oh, the pure bliss to hear the words I thought I would never hear - such a surprise.”
“Yeah, I'm full of surprises.”
“No shit.”
"Do you remember the nights we would dance on the duvet or on top of the table to my chemical romance on the nights we were drunk out of our mind?"
Draco rests his head on his shoulder while he dances that silent tune, a weight over his heart, "Oh, yeah you would sing the wrong lyrics but with full confidence."
Draco is silent for a heartbeat before he whispers, "But now you have to sing the wrong lyrics all by yourself."
"It won't be the same though."
"No, no it wouldn't but there won't be more of you and I now, would there?"
The words tilt his world and the weight on his heart intensifies and increases until it covers every inch of him, inside and out.
"You remember when you once said that Astronomers have heard a song in the cosmos and it's said that it's a tune of the stars that went out, that it sends out a wavering note which is a ghost of it's song?"
“Yes, I remember.”
“I believe that our love will remain here when you and I won't. A ghost of the love we had will stay behind and dance on the duvet or the table to a tune of it's own and it might be the one you and I dance to.”
“A ghost of our lost love?”
“Yes, because lost love is still love but it's not the same. It's said that when one of our senses weaken, the other heightens and here, when your presence weakens, our memories will heighten and I'll hold it, I'll love it and I'll dance with it.”
“Harry, if tonight is the last time we'll be together, stay close to me.”
“I will.”
Draco reaches up to kiss him and his eyelids close. It's soft, slow and tentative but he is one with galaxies in his mind, the sun and the moon in his heart and stars in his eyes and when he kisses him, it's like the tender touch of the infinite universe itself.
But a soft shatter sounds in the room and all of a sudden, he hears a soft sob, “No, no, no.”
It's the watch.
Draco reaches out for the watch and holds it in his hand. He traces his thumb over the inscription on the back once and turns it over. The watch has cracks on it, on the crystal case outside. He closes his fingers around it and whispers, “It's broken.”
Harry crouches down in front of him, a breath caught in his throat and his hand trembles when he reaches out to touch his arm, “Draco, no, we can cast a charm on it and it'll be the same as it was before and -”
“No, no, it's broken.”
It's broken.
Harry weaves their fingers together and rests their hands over his thigh and in the silence of the night, he realises that it's not only the watch that is broken.
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
Together, the two of them are buried under the pile of blankets, his face in the crook of Draco's neck, his breaths much softer now. Draco cards his fingers through his soft curls, combing the knots, brushes a kiss to his ear and whispers, “I love you.”
Harry can't remember when it had turned into this. Into this mundane, soft confessions in the silent moments but he has heard that over and over because he wants to reimburse for the time he hadn't said it.
But it's because he had once said otherwise and he thought that Harry had believed him. He hadn't. Because not once had he doubted the love that Draco held for him. Not once.
“I want to be where you will be,” Harry whispers while he places a kiss to his collarbone, “Home is where you are, I want to be with you, wherever you are.”
One of Draco's hands slides down the length of his spine and to the small of his back and he rubs small circles there with his thumb, "What if I'm in some other universe?"
“I would cross other universes to be in the one you'll be in.” If he was honest, he would cross stars, galaxies, other universes and whatever he has to if he has the chance to be with him.
Because he wants more time with him.
“Oh, no you don't have to because I'll always be with you.” Draco touches his chest, over his heart with a soft smile, “Always.”
But the words, the touches and the soft smile break his heart because soon, it'll be the last and he can't hold onto it now.
Harry reaches out for the hand over his chest and interlaces their fingers together, held close to his heart and to the moonstone ring there. Soon, he won't hear his voice, the sound of his soft breaths or his heartbeat. Soon, he won't dance with him to the songs on the radio. Soon, he won't be here.
Draco brushes a soft kiss on the back of his hand, tears in the corners of his eyes, “You remember the time we went to that chapel and I said that I wanted our wedding there and you said that we can have all of it?”
He traces his thumb over his cheekbone, a knot in his throat when he says, “Mhm, I remember it, I remember it all too well.”
“Be our cartographer and show our universe to me. A universe where the sky is pink, where I love you, where we dance under the light of a thousand stars and where we have more time together. All of it.”
To describe that universe is like an effortless intake of breath. “I would propose to you first with romantic confessions of love and soon, we would plan it out together. We would have a wedding there in summer or autumn and you'll quote pride and prejudice to me, in your vows.”
Draco places a small kiss over his scar and with the softest laugh, he whispers, “You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. And wish from this day forth never to be parted from you.”
Harry brushes their noses together while his heart clenches in his chest, “Yes, that one and I would cry when I hear your vows and you will cry when you hear mine.”
“I might, I'm a crybaby and because I love you and tear up over love confessions.”
“No doubt.”
The thin, pale fingers slip underneath the fabric of his shirt and trail over to his chest. Trails of warm calluses over his skin. A warm hand rests over his heart with a slight tremble.
“You remember the dream you had, where we had a daughter and where you said you had a crush on me and she revealed your secret to me and mine to you?”
“Oh, that I have a crush on you?”
With a soft hum, he brushes one strand of hair out of his face, the one that rests over his eye, “Yes, now if we were to have children, would we have one or?”
Draco traces his own name over his heart with his fingertips, “One daughter, one son and you can choose the names.”
“Isn't there a tradition that you have to name them over a constellation or a star?”
“True but traditions don't matter much.”
“Yes, but do you remember that night when we were on the rooftop and there was that one constellation that you and I both thought was beautiful?”
“Scorpius?”
Harry caresses his cheekbone, “Yes, Lili for our daughter and Scorpius for our son and we can renew our vows when we have them.”
“Harry, that would be beautiful but I won't be here with you for that, would I?” Draco whispers into the soft silence of the room while tears trickle down his cheek.
“Draco, you'll always be here with me, remember?” Harry says with a slight tremble to his own voice, a knot in his throat while he wipes his tears with a soft brush of his thumb. He cradles Draco's hand, places it over his own heart, “you'll always be here. Always.”
“I'm sorry, we could've had it all.”
It cracks his heart down in the middle while his own tears slide down and his hands tremble. He wants to hold it together for him but he can't because there is no more time left, soon it'll be over. But he doesn't want it to be over yet, “We'll have that, we'll have all of it.”
“But we don't have more time, Harry.”
Harry traces the back of his fingers over his cheek and now, his eyes are red-rimmed, a soft shade of silver that has a trace of restrained emotions and Harry can't breathe.
“I want to stay with you.” He places a kiss on his forehead and lingers there but it is there that he can't control it, it's there that he can't hold it together and soon, he breaks.
“You and I, we had it all together. All of it. I love you, you're all that I want to have and we can have the rest of it in other universes, where we have more time together. I'll change the crosswalk light symbol for you there, do eight minutes dates, or quote romance novels to you and I will love you.”
Draco clutches his shirt, tightens his grip on it while he trembles, shatters in his arms, soft gasps and sobs and Harry can't hold it together, "You promise?"
“Cross my heart.”
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Beams of sunlight break through the clouds in the light of dusk. A slow, soft tune sounds in his car but it's distant to him now. Because he remembers the lyrics, the soft voice in the car.
But he doesn't want to remember.
The wind is light and warm over his skin in the windows down hour while he races down the road but it wasn't the same now. It's beautiful outside - the soft touch of autumn, a slight mist in the air and the lilac sky but it isn't as beautiful as it once was because the lighthouse of his universe isn't here on this drive.
Draco has his head out the window, a slight touch of awe in his eyes. It was natural for him to become a part of the landscape, "Isn't it beautiful that the colours change with the light?"
Harry turns to him with a subtle smile with a trace of fondness in it because it's a rare privilege to witness this, the lights in his eyes, the softness to his voice and the way he becomes when he is out of town with him, "Wait, what do you mean by that?"
"Oh, it's that when the seasons change, the lights change and what surrounds us changes with it. When we were here the last time, it was winter and the lights were harsh and white but it's autumn now and the lights are soft and red. It all changes."
It's true, the lights aren't the same now, the way it sifts through trees, the colours of the skies or the leaves - none of it was the same. "True, true but you know what doesn't change with the change in seasons or the lights?"
Draco reaches out and brushes the back of his fingers over his cheek, in a tender, feather-light touch and whispers, "Is it your love for me?"
He drives, his eyes caught in the beautiful silver ones, "Yeah, it's that and it will never change."
The season and the lights were not the same but the ghosts of that drive out of town in autumn remain here with him. But he isn't.
The car halts outside the burial, one that is beside a chapel, with a faint screech and other than the soft tune in his car and the sound of the birds, there is absolute silence out there.
The chapel isn't the same one that was shown to him but the sight of it brought it all back.
"All of it?"
"All of it."
A weight settles over his heart and he stays in his car, his hand on one side of the steering wheel. He reaches out and brushes his fingers over a small polaroid that rests on the visor.
It was one of them together on a drive out of town in the autumn season, when it was all red.
Red is often referred to as the colour of love but he had once said that there were shades and love has one of its own, that there were 99 shades of red and love was the hundredth shade.
"The hundredth shade of red is love but that shade isn't the same for all of us, it's a shade we create ourselves and paint a canvas of love with it."
Harry thought that it's beautiful, to have a shade of red for love and to paint a blank canvas with that shade, "But why isn't it the same for all of us?"
"Because love exists in different forms, because for some love is violent or dangerous or toxic but for some, it's beautiful, it's patient and soft. Why would the shades be the same when love isn't?"
"What is our shade of red?"
"Oh, it's whatever you want it to be, you can combine whichever colour you want to and it'll become your own shade of red."
"Describe yours to me."
Draco brushes their noses together with the softest smile while his thumb caresses his cheekbone in a feather-light touch, "Oh, the shade is soft, vibrant, warm with a tint of pink and a touch of magenta. It's new, rich and beautiful and for whatever reason, it has the light of the stars in it."
Harry trails his hand down to his waist, "Mm, that would be a beautiful shade to paint with but shades have names, what is the name of that shade?"
"It's a blend of two words – Apricity, which is the warmth of the sun in winters and Elysian, which is beautiful or divine. The shade of love is Aprisian because you're the most beautiful warmth in the coldest winters."
"Oh, that is creative and euphonious."
It elicits a soft laugh out of Draco and it's the most beautiful sound he has ever heard, "You said euphonious because you wanted to show that you know such words too, didn't you?"
"Well, when you said words like Apricity and Elysian and Aprisian, I thought I should contribute a word that was beautiful to hear."
"Your name is beautiful to hear."
"More than Aprisian?"
Draco brushes a kiss over his scar, his voice a soft whisper when he says, "Harry, you are Aprisian."
Soft sunlight cascades into the car and over the broken wristwatch in his hand and he can hear its soft tick in the silence that surrounds him.
He turns it over to read the inscription on the back, traces his thumb over the words with a slight tremble to his hand - we can have it all.
He rushes out of his car and closes the door behind him with a soft thud.
The crispy leaves crunch underneath his shoes while he treads towards the burial, the watch held tight in his hand.
Harry winds through the stones covered with red and brown leaves, to his grave and when he reaches, there are wreaths of roses, lilies and more flowers, bears and photographs.
He reads his name and a knot forms in his throat, tears in the corners of his eyes and his hands tremble on his side.
In the loving memory of
Draco Malfoy.
5 June, 1980 - 6 September, 2006.
He bends down to set his own wreath of blue orchids in the centre while tears slide down his cheeks and his heart clenches in his chest and while he stands there, all of it reruns in his head. The silent confessions, the soft whispers in the night, the last dance - all of it.
If he had the chance to turn back time and do it over, he wouldn't change the stories because it was beautiful. But he might rewrite the epilogue into a softer one. Because those stories can't be rewritten and there is no version of it that will be more beautiful than the one that is written down there.
He holds onto the memories, too.
It’s all he has now.
He rests his forehead on one side of the stone and his hand over the name on it while he whispers and the memories embrace him, hold him, anchor him, "It didn't change."
It's the love that would remain the same when the seasons or the lights change.
He withdraws a small velvet pouch, and from inside it he removes the omamori charm with the intricate patterns and an inscription written on it and sets it down.
He remembers it all.
The vacation to Tokyo and the omamori charm he had brought for Draco, the soft touches, the whispers of 'I love you', the dates, the lanterns and the rest. Because a ghost of it, of the love, of the memories are there with him and he will hold it, love it and dance with it.
He will remember it.
All too well.
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
tagging some people for boost, can ignore if you like <3 @phoebe-delia @rockingrobin69 @nv-md @krystalliumm @missdrarrydawn @slytherinnbitch @jooncookie @sitp-recs @drarryboosterclub @ladderofyears @thecornerofbelu @silver-de-vonne @just-ineffable-things @harryandginnydeservesbetter @textrovert-01 @draco-and-harry-malfoy-pottah @chinike @cissa-bee @confictura-210 @l0vegl0wsinthedark @cluelesspigeons @littlebodybigheartttt
This fic is written in collaboration by @sorry-i-ship-drarry and @drarrywords on anon request
~ Part One available here!
~ Part Two available here!
Part Three ( 9.2k words )
TW ⚠️- Angst
“I think, love is in the walks that we take, it’s in the mud shoes get dirty in, it’s in the morning coffee, it’s in the queue at a coffee shop, it’s in the back pocket of a jeans, it’s on the rooftop of a broken house, it’s in the wagon of an empty train, it’s in the snow that touches the skin, it’s in the rain that falls, it’s in the smile the strangers share, it’s in the water that is in the sea, it’s in the sun rays that touch the skin after a long day, it’s in singing in the shower, it’s in the palm of your hands, it’s even in walking away from life. Love is everywhere, it’s on us how we find it, and when we find and maybe even why we find it. We love, because we don’t know how to do anything else but maybe that’s why we fear love, because we don’t know how to do anything else”
But that’s about love, It’s a highland. It’s a long mountainous land and the mountain has slopes that run up and down.
When you circle through the mountain and you reach the top, there’s nowhere left to go but down.
“Hi, This is Draco Malfoy and I’m not available right now, leave me a message… Beep”
“Hi, Draco, hi. How are you doing? I just wanted to say sorry for several previous calls. Just want to know if you’re okay? I haven’t heard from you in a while. Call me when you’re free.” And he ended the voice message there.
He slid the cell back in his pocket and walked back into the restaurant, plastering a smile on his face.
“Come on Harry, we’re cutting the cake.” Ron yelled from afar and Harry immediately walked faster to the table. It was only moments later when his friends broke out into a congratulatory song for Ginny on making it to the team.
It was a good day, the celebration, the people, and being with friends. It was certainly a great time to be with friends and a good time for Harry to take his mind off things.
“Hi?”
Harry turned to see Ginny have joined him at the bar while he was checking his cell, again “Oh, hi. Didn’t see you there”
She chuckled, “It’s okay. I just want you say thanks to Draco for the gift he sent”
“The gift-” he frowned “-oh right, yeah the gift. For sure. I’ll tell him” he nervously laughed.
She frowned at Harry herself, “Is everything alright with you two?” she asked.
Harry nodded his head, “Oh yeah. It’s just he’s been pretty busy at work so we’ve been talking less but otherwise we’re great”
“Are you sure?” she asked and Harry nodded, assuring her affirmatively.
He sighed when she left and checked his cell again.
That same night while Harry was staring up at the ceiling at 3 am, that was when his cell rang and he picked up to see it was Draco.
“Draco?”
“Did I wake you?”
Harry remained silent for a moment. He was slightly mad at Draco for not calling him in a while at all but he was too exhausted to even be mad at him.
“No”
“Are you mad at me?” He asked from the other side.
This fic is written in collaboration by @sorry-i-ship-drarry and @drarrywords on an anon request
~ Part one available here!
Part Two (8.2k words)
TW ⚠️- mild angst
“When we talk about love, we say falling in love, we never say rising in love because perhaps love isn’t about rising at all. Because maybe when you fall in love, you realise there’s so many miles to fall in and you don’t know how much more you can fall, It’s like an endless myriad and you’re scared to see its depth because you know it can kill you. Maybe that’s why we fear love, maybe that’s why some of us don’t want to fall in love but those who do, do they ever come back once they’ve reached the end or do they remain waiting for the one they fell for to take them back up or do they remain stuck there forever until the they are left with nothing but the bones of a skeleton? Or is it so that they come back and they wait for the void to fill in?”
It was easier to pretend it didn’t ache him anymore than it did on the night Draco first confessed that he needed to move away. It worked very well as he liked to put it with any random stranger he’d start talking to because he didn’t want to sound like an insane clingy boyfriend who could not be away for so long but it did hurt when he’d stay up by the phone waiting for him to call like he promised he would. He remembers the day very vividly in his head when he had said that they should perhaps do long distance relationship because he didn’t want to end whatever it was because it was entirely too good to end, because they made more sense to Draco than anything ever had in his entire life and he wasn’t willing to give up trying to make it work and despite that Harry agreed, he knew his fears called him home very often.
He stays by the dialler, waiting for it to ring back like he had promised he would but it had been 45 minutes and Harry was still waiting by the phone reading the new article in the witch weekly on the new advanced broom and all that there is to know of it, he might’ve even read the article 3 more times because he lost track a few times until he was finally done reading the article and turned his head to look at the watch on his wrist and he sighed. He flipped the page reading another headline about the new furniture that was too comfortable for the elderly when the phone suddenly rang and he immediately picked up.
“On a scale of 1 to 10, how mad are you at me for keeping you on hold for 55 minutes and 7 seconds ?” He asked from the other end and with every word his shuffling deceased as if he was shutting everything off so he could just be with Harry.
Harry’s face dissolved into a small smile as he was finally able to hear his voice and all that he previously thought of this whole thing evaporated in thin air “How about I say a 3 to 4-ish ?”
“Then I would say that if I were there I’d fix it 3 to 4-ish times to make it up to you” the smirk was entirely too clear in his voice and Harry blushed even though he knew his boyfriend couldn’t see him.
Then came a sigh “I’m sorry- I know its all hard but I try my best to make time for you as much as possible”
Harry’s heart filled with guilt doodling on the corner of the magazine on his lap “ I understand- you don’t have to be sorry for anything, I’m proud of what you’re doing there and you know your happiness is my happiness”
“But it still doesn’t give me an excuse-” a breath “I wish it all were easier or I was there to just be with you for just one night or just one day- maybe just an hour just so I could be there with you”
Harry smiled to himself tugging the phone closer to his ear “It’s okay- Maybe we will meet soon and when you do come back, we’ll have the best time”
There was pause too long as if he was contemplating something but was still there because his breathing could still be heard very vividly and then he said “Maybe we will meet soon ”
Harry smiled again and then forgot all about the distance and finally asked how his day was and Draco went to town mimicking and imitating a few of the people who worked under him and then exhaustingly went on about how stupid those people were and Harry but all laughed at most of it. Draco loved his laugh, as he always did.
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
Days turned into a couple of weeks and their calls became so much more frequent than they had been before, like there was an urgent need to hear others’ voices as if, if they didn’t, their universe would implode. Some days they talked so much that one day Harry almost got threatened by his boss to look after the pets or he’ll lose his job and despite the fact that he did end up terminating the call, they called each other again an hour later just because they couldn’t end it with an ‘I Love You’. Harry got overtime as obvious.
“ So yeah-you were saying- sorry that stupid menace of my cat thought ruining the pillow again would be an entire dream- you were saying-talking about time” Harry sighed
“Yeah- I love Bella though. Anyways I was talking about how time is a social construct. We perceive it as a motion through space, if motion ceases, time ceases as well. That’s why we call a photograph a snapshot in time, isn’t it- because that moment gets locked forever not just in photographs but in time as well- are you still there?” Draco interrupted himself in between fearing that Harry’s line got cut off again like a few minutes before and Draco would keep on rambling to himself in the air.
“I’m here” Harry smiled “ What have you been reading ?”
“Just some muggle stuff- hearing a bunch of nerds talking in the office too”
“Oh nerds you say-” Harry chuckled
“Of course- some of them are, all they do is talk about science facts that are entirely out of point but mind blowing-” There was a pause too long when he discovered why Harry had started laughing in the background “I heard myself” He grumbled
Harry kept laughing until Draco threatened that he would find a way to pull his ears during one of these phone calls from such a distance apart if he didn’t stop laughing.
“-I think it’s adorable” Harry cut him off. Draco immediately stopped with his false threats and went too silent.
“I also think you sound cute when you just ramble on about this science stuff” Harry added smiling.
“you’re bluffing” Draco mumbled
“Oh so if I am complimenting you, its bluffing” Harry teased
“Of course it is, nobody sounds cute” Draco replied
“But you do,” Harry complimented again.
There was a pause long enough for Harry to know that Draco was blushing doodling over his leg like normally does while he is blushing and doesn’t know how to take a compliment.
“I love you” Harry chuckled
Draco groaned on the other side as if he was done with Harry but in an adorning way “I love you too”
And Harry laughed again.
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
There were times when Draco got too busy that he would send Harry flowers next morning to make up for not having called him the night before or not having called enough, Harry loved those gestures even if it meant that he was bribing or spoiling him.
“You didn’t have to send those flowers” Harry had tried to hide his smile one of those mornings when Draco was getting ready while they were still on the call.
“Are you kidding, I would’ve stood before your door with a radio in my hand and played your favourite song to make it up to you” Draco chuckled, then immediately swore because he stubbed his toe against the nearest stool.
this fic is written in collaboration by @drarrywords and @sorry-i-ship-drarry on an anon request
Part One (8.1K words)
“Because when you are in love, you understand love songs, you understand the beauty of kisses, of slow dances in the kitchen. But you understand heartbreaks too, the voids that one can leave that you want to fill with their voice, the memories you share with them. It’s beautiful, but it can ruin you.”
The first date might not be the most beautiful, oh-so perfect story that concludes with the softest kiss that lights up the corners of your heart. It’s too mainstream, too normal. Since when was a first date with him normal? But it’s a story that he cherishes in his heart because to him, it’s perfect, it’s beautiful.
It’s a Thursday night, the city lights reflecting off the sky: orange tinted clouds that press the summer heat against the sidewalks like a flower between the pages of a book.
Harry walks the length of the floor of his apartment with whiskey in his hand and wonders, with what amounts to only mild interest, if he is about to be stood up by his date.
So, now he had to be in his house with his cat who wasn’t too fond of him.
He isn’t sure why he had said yes. It was a surprise to him too. But at the time, he had said yes because he had wanted to. It was possible, however, that he might’ve said yes because he was out of his mind. Yes, that must be it.
The night before, he had told himself that the date would be a bit of an excitement, different from his routine and not more.
His mind traces back to the way Draco had said: I want to take you out on a date with that soft smile, a touch nervous. So, if he couldn’t form coherent, sensible sentences, it was Draco’s fault. But, he said a simple ‘yes’. It was a feat in itself that he didn’t stutter. But with the relief on Draco’s face, it was clear that he was as nervous about it as Harry was. More so.
He had, however, insisted that he do the reservations and the two of them had decided that Draco would come over to his place first because there was a chance that Draco might have to stay back at work.
He had called for a reservation at a fancy restaurant on that day itself, selected a date outfit of a navy blue dinner jacket and a white shirt that fit his form well. But it had been a waste because Draco had stood him up.
He was one hour late to the date so it was fair to assume that he was struck at work. Or that he had decided that Harry wasn’t worth his time (he had a low self esteem).
His cat was on a new mission for the night: ruin the couch, the pillows and cause more destruction in the house. He adores her with his heart and soul but she is such a menace, “Bella, can you not tear the new pillows to shreds and behave because if he does show up, I don’t want the house to be in a bad state.”
It startles him when the buzzer sounds at the front door.
More so when Draco hurtles through the door.
Draco’s blond hair is ruffled, small strands on his forehead. His chest rises and falls rapidly under his black shirt, a light sheen of perspiration on his face. He waves his hand at him in a way that Harry shouldn’t find half as adorable as he does.
“I’m so sorry, I had to stay back and finish some paperwork.”
The relief when you’re not stood up by your date is different. So he could find it in himself to forgive Draco for once. Sure, he wasn’t on time but it’s better late than never, “No, it’s - you’re here now, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, but I’m sorry.”
“Oh, don’t be.”
Bella curls up on the sofa and meows at him. She stretches with a yawn and buries herself into it. He strokes her fur, proud of her because she had left his pillows intact for once.
Draco closes the door with a soft thud. He paces over to him, a hand in the pocket of his trousers. It’s too much of a distraction, to be honest. Because Draco is - ethereal in that outfit of his.
Harry takes the final sip of his whiskey. So now, he has a date. A hot, ethereal, handsome date. He is more nervous about the date than he thinks because he almost fumbles with his glass before he places it down. But he isn’t sure he is so tense. It was new to him, “So, dinner?”
“Yeah, dinner sounds fantastic but I have a gift for you before we leave - brace yourself, don’t throw the nearest object at me when you open it.” He takes out a small blue box out of his pocket and holds it out to him, “Wear it to our date though.”
Harry takes the said box from his hand. He turns it over once and opens it. He can’t wear this on his first date to such a posh restaurant. In retrospect, he wants to throw the nearest object at him. Or this box for that matter, “Oh, you can’t be serious.”
“I’m serious, I dare you to wear that to our date tonight to that restaurant.”
It’s one of Draco’s most brilliant creations which Harry wasn’t too fond of, to be honest. The badges he created in the fourth year in the Triwizard Tournament. Such a charmer. The blond inches closer to him and taps on the badge. It turns from ‘Potter Stinks’ to read: ‘But he is hot.”
A delicate blush blossoms across his cheeks.
Draco scrunches his nose as he takes the badge from his hand and pins it on the top of his chest. So now, Harry has no choice but to wear it. So be it. “Isn’t it a fantastic gift? I modified it so that you don’t cancel this date but it’s true, you’re hot.”
“Says you. You’re a sight for sore eyes.”
Harry curses under his breath.
He wants the floor to open up and swallow him. Or disappear. Who says that on the first date? It was true but if he went on to describe his magnificence, he might write a poem about it and embarrass himself further because it might be a task to take his eyes off Draco tonight.
“Mm, creative.”
“No, it’s not and before I do more of that, we should head out for dinner.”
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
The restaurant was on West 13th and 3rd, near a records store.
It was an Italian restaurant. He would’ve chosen a wizarding restaurant but it has been a while since he has been out in public there. He does not wish to be on the front page of the prophet because he was there more often than not.
He wasn’t too fond of being the topic of the conversation for weeks because people were more invested in his personal life than their own. But then again, what was the alternative? So, he remains out of the public eye instead.
A faint light falls over his eyes.
Harry thought of what colour they might be away from the shadows and artificial lights of the restaurant. Now that was a bad sign. You don’t wonder about the colour of someone’s eyes for no reason. It’s sort of close to a small crush if you do.
“You can’t be serious,” Harry says. He refuses to believe that. It can’t be true. Because no one has Mean Girls as their favorite movie. Doesn’t matter if it’s a personal preference, “Draco, no.”
“Or the notebook, that one is brilliant.”
“Mm, now that is a brilliant movie but I cry whenever I watch it so I would rule that out too. But to be honest, out of the movies that came out this year, Spiderman 2 was the best.”
“Debatable stance.”
Harry scoffs, because there is no way he will take criticism for that movie, “It’s not debatable, it was the best movie. It has romance, perfect action sequences and an excellent storyline so I’m 99.9 percent sure you share the same opinion.”
“No, we don’t have the same opinion on that movie.”
“I won’t take a movie critic from someone who’s favorite movie is Mean Girls and sure, why wouldn’t it be your favorite movie? It’s so you - you’re mean, you’re such a Regina George.”
Draco arches a brow, “Oh? No, I’m sure why Spiderman 2 is your favorite movie because it’s about a spider who is in some sort of trouble within the first two seconds because his survival instincts are of a kitten on crack - sound familiar?”
Yes, it sounds familiar. Who here is a) the chosen one b) had to save the world because he had superpowers (he did not have superpowers as such but the villain thought it would be cool to traumatize a child and turn him into a horcrux) c) had such top-tier survival instincts - Oh, wait. It’s him, “I’m sorry if I prefer a fight over a blonde barbie being mean, Draco.”
“I’m sorry if I prefer the said blond barbie over someone who was bitten by an unstable crime-fighting spider who shoots webs out of his hands and chooses to cope with half the problems in his life with humor or sarcasm.”
“Ouch, that is such an indirect way to say that you don’t like me.”
It elicits a boisterous, carefree laugh out of Draco and well - shit. Half an hour into the date and a pretty smile, and Harry was singing like a lovable urchin on a barricade in France. Oh fuck, this was the sort of stuff that ended up in the papers.
“Oh no, I do. Sarcastic brunettes with pretty green eyes and glasses and have an incredible amount of sass are the ones I’m attracted to the most.”
A delicate blush blossoms across his cheeks.
So, he has pretty eyes.
Oh, what a time to be alive.
He couldn’t sound much confident in return (it’s the nerves) or flirt, for that matter. But before he can come up with a response, a waiter walks up to their table, “Good evening, I’m Jacques - what would you like to drink today?”
Harry skims through the wine list, relieved that he can conceal the faint line of pink on his face for now. He could only hope that the nervousness wouldn’t clamber to climb out of him in static bursts of magic, “What is the best red wine you have?”
“I would recommend the Domaine Loubejac Pinot Noir, sir.”
“Sounds brilliant, we’ll have that please.” Draco says, as he hands him back his own wine list, a trace of faint amusement in his eyes at his reaction, his mouth curved into one of his self-satisfied smirks, “we’ll take the bottle, yeah?”
“Yeah, sure.” It was the most he could muster in that moment because that smirk causes his heartbeat to quicken in his chest and he can’t so much sort out the thoughts in his head, “that sounds brilliant.”
“I’ll be right back with your drinks, Sir.”
Draco nods, “I thought that you would choose some other place for our date and not a posh restaurant. A movie or a park or a bookstore date but you never cease to surprise me.”
Not the best options for a first date though.
Harry brushes a strand of hair out of his face, “We don’t share the same taste in movies, we’re not that old yet to have a date in the park and a bookstore sounds brilliant but I didn’t consider that.”
“Maybe our second date can be in a bookstore.”
If his heart fails to function right now, it will be Draco’s fault.
No, because he would love that date. It sounds much better than a posh restaurant because it’s ten times better. It was too domestic but while he was on that topic, might as well have that second date in a bookstore instead, “Yeah, yeah I would love that because I want to buy some books so -”
“Since when do you read?”
“I read more often than not, why does that surprise you?” He says as Jacques comes over to the table with a bottle of wine and holds it out for him to read the label.
“Would you like to taste it before you purchase the bottle, Sir?”
“Oh, sure but he would be a better wine taster than I am.”
The waiter nods and uncorks the bottle, pouring a teaspoon size portion into Draco’s wine glass. Draco picks up the glass and swirls it around and inhales it before he sips it, “Oh, yeah it’s perfect.”
“I’ll be here whenever you’re ready to order.” Jacques says while he pours the wine into the glasses, places the bottle in the middle of the table before he paces over to the other side.
Harry swirls his own drink around, takes a sip while he tilts his head back and the sweet, oaky liquid spreads out over his tongue. Yeah, it’s perfect. But he doesn’t have wine too often.
Draco flips through the menu, his nose scrunched up in the way it is when he reads. Harry decides to not focus on that (adorable) nose scrunch and pretends to be interested in his own menu instead. He has several options and he is somewhat indecisive. It’s hard to choose.
It isn’t the place he prefers but he doesn’t mind that since his date is rather proper and he wants it to be right.
If he is honest with himself, he should’ve chosen a better place.
Harry sneaks a glance at Draco from behind his menu and catches a hint of a smile on his face. He is rather cute when he smiles, with those dimples and the soft light in his warm eyes, “Harry?”
“I’m sorry, what?”
Draco takes a sip of his wine, “Say, if we were to ditch the restaurant and instead, take our date somewhere other than here to a place that you and I both find better, would you be open to that idea?”
Shit, perhaps Draco can sense his discomfort. Now, he isn’t sure if he can form an articulate sentence but yes, if he has the choice, he would much rather be somewhere other than here, “I - can you read minds?”
He closes the menu and places it in front of him, “No, I’m not a mind reader but I’m observant and Harry, it was thoughtful of you to choose the most fanciest restaurant here, you have impeccable taste but I can sense that you’re out of your element here. So, if you want to take our date to some other place, there is a bookstore down the street that you might love.”
Harry has a burst of fondness in his chest; it’s like a small explosion which is pleasant but it startles him too.
But the reason he chose such a posh restaurant is because he wanted the date to be perfect and now, a bookstore would sort of be a bust but he would prefer that over a mainstream restaurant date, “Oh, I wouldn’t mind that, by the way. Bookstores are perfect, no matter what the occasion. I live and breathe books, so don’t overthink it, Harry.”
Harry fishes out his wallet and places the money for the wine on the table (more than he should) and stands up and holds out his arm to Draco in faint amusement, “So, shall we?”
It elicits a soft laugh out of him.
Draco straightens up and curls his fingers around his arm and the two of them head out of the restaurant, off to that bookstore down the street. Though it was sort of far, it was perfect to walk on a summer night with the beautiful city lights, the warm air and Draco’s hand around his arm.
“Thank you for that, it was a fantastic choice but for future reference, you don’t have to choose places that you aren’t comfortable in for me.”
“I wanted it to be perfect.” Harry says. Perhaps, he has placed a lot of power in Draco’s hand but he found himself possessed by an impulse to be honest with him, “Oh, did I seem too - I’m sorry.”
Though he wishes he could hold himself back, words come out of his mouth in a rush, “I wish that it could’ve been better and that we didn’t have to leave because I’m so - nervous for no reason and you’re - oh, you’re brilliant.”
“What?”
Harry turns to him, stricken, and thinks that he has it wrong once more. “No, I was the one who was half an hour late to out date and you must’ve thought that I stood you up and you wore that badge because I wanted you to which was sort of too much and I’m sorry that I was such an -”
“Oh no, don’t be sorry for that, it’s one of your most brilliant creations and I can’t not wear it and you said that I’m hot in a suit so I have to show off.”
Draco tips his head back and laughs and it was the most beautiful sound he has heard.
No one has to be sorry.
Not tonight.
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
A soft music drifts in the store.
Harry was on the floor with Draco in the corner, on a soft carpet, with several romance novels open in front of them.
The two of them had decided to play a small game to amuse themselves.
You had to skim through the books and read the dirtiest line out loud. So far, it was 2-0 because Draco had only read the most romantic, beautiful lines so far. “Oh, hear this out - what is love? Oh, we have different definitions for that word. But where most of us search for our own definitions, I found mine - it’s him.”
Harry lifts his brows, “So profound but you misunderstand the point of our game, we have to read the dirtiest line - for instance, why doesn’t your mouth work? Now, that is one more point for me, you are a loser and I swear, if you read one more line from Romeo and Juliet, I will cry.”
“But soft! What light from yonder window breaks? ‘Tis the east and Juliet is the sun -”
“I will throw that book out of the window.”
“Arise fair sun and kill the envious moon, who is sick with envy. I take thee at my word,” Draco whispers in a soft voice with a small smirk (which causes those small bursts of fondness in his chest once more), “call me but love and I’ll be new baptized.”
“No comments on the fact that I said you’re a loser?”
“No, none but here, I found one: I want to come but the decision has been quite hard on me - now that is one point for me and here is one more - I found a position that I like, that is two points and he took it better than I thought which makes it three.”
The fact that he called him a loser must’ve struck a nerve.
Harry covers his face with a book to hide his futile attempts to conceal his laugh but Draco takes the book from his hand with a scoff, “Harry, you have the dirtiest mind, I swear.”
“As if yours isn’t.”
“Debatable stance,” Draco inches closer to him with a book in his hand, his features much softer now and a breath caught in his throat with a touch of hesitance in his voice as he says, “do you want to read together?”
“If that isn’t Romeo and Juliet, yes.”
“No it’s not, don’t worry.” Draco rests his head on his shoulder with a soft sigh, the book in his hand while he reads out the first chapter in his poshest voice and it didn’t matter what the storyline was but the fact that he can bask in Draco’s presence in a bookstore on a summer night was the most beautiful place to be.
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
The warm light of the sun filters into the room through the cracks in the blinds and casts subtle shadows over the room. It cascades over Draco and that adds a beautiful colour to his moonlight-pale skin. Golden. He reaches out and trails his fingers over his bare back, over the smooth skin.
Harry retracts his hand, a small knot forming in his throat.
“Good morning,” Draco whispers as turns over to the side to face him, his warm, silver eyes much softer now. The flecks of blue in his eyes were visible too.
He can’t resist the small smile that threatens to form on his face.
“Oh, what time is it?”
Harry casts a tempus without his wand (sometimes he is shallow and wants to show off) and it reads 7:40 AM, which surprises him because he hasn’t slept that well for a month which is because his mind tends to wake him up with nightmares. But it’s the first night that Draco spent with him, so that might be the reason he slept well and didn’t wake up because of a nightmare.
“Can I tell you a secret?”
The suddenness of it startles him but he nods once he recovers from it.
But Draco seems somewhat hesitant now and it might be because he said it in the spur of the moment. It was understandable because he did that often himself, “It’s that - this is the best sleep I’ve had in a while.”
It was mutual.
“Same.”
“Since I told you mine, why don’t you tell me one of your secrets?”
A frown creases his forehead. He did have secrets but he couldn’t voice them out-loud. It wouldn’t be a secret if he did. He isn’t ready to do so, “But what kind of a secret?”
“Any kind.”
It’s soft next to you, it’s safe if I come close. Because there must be a destiny here, in your hands. When you walk in, my heart beats in a different way. The corner of your smile, the one towards me when you’re in the driver’s seat, the way it lifts when you look over me - it’s beautiful. I’ve never seen the stars like the one in your eyes.
“I don’t have secrets, Draco.”
“Oh no, we all have secrets of our own.”
You’re in the thoughts or the dreams that I have. I’ve learnt the slant of your brow, the sound of your voice, the rhythm of your steps and your scent. I would know you in other universes too, without a doubt. I would find you. I would choose you in a thousand lifetimes.
“If you insist, here is a secret: I’m scared.”
“Of what?”
Of crowds, of dark places and of isolation and of you. I don’t want to lose you and I don’t want you to break my heart. It’s yours to break but I want you to love it, to keep it safe, to keep it with you forever.
“Of those balloons which have a smiley face on them.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“No, I’m serious - it’s not a pretty smile because it haunts me.”
“Tell me one more.”
I love you.
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
Draco closes the door of the car behind him with a loud thud, which reverberates in the silence of the night. He tilts his head up at the sky, breathes a slow breath, "It's your fault, you wanted to take this route because you thought it would be adventurous and now, we're in the middle of nowhere and our car broke down."
He decides to chime in with a quip to lighten the situation, which might've not been the best idea but he can't fix the car or do much here, "It is adventurous, we're in the middle of nowhere."
He receives one of Draco's most infamous stares but it's somewhat half-hearted, which translates to a silent treatment. But it would only ruin the night for the two of them. "Draco, I'm sorry."
But sorry doesn't cut it.
"No, you're not sorry, Harry."
Harry slides in next to him, interlaces his fingers with Draco's but Draco pulls his hand back and crosses his arms over his chest. It was worth a shot, but he has to do more than that if he wants Draco to break his silence and there is a chance it might not work.
"I - fine, I'm not sorry, Draco."
He breathes out a small breath and it forms a cloud of cold air in front of him. The scene out here is beautiful. Infinite stars cover the night sky. The moon illuminates the water below, over the serene waves that crash over the shore.
"Do you remember when we said we wouldn't do anniversaries?"
Because he remembers it well.
"You said you didn't understand the concept of anniversaries, of the celebration of love but in the first month, you went out of your way to recite those lines from Romeo and Juliet that you did in the bookstore on the night of our first date.
We danced in the kitchen in the refrigerator light on our favorite song and now it's our tradition to dance to it on our anniversaries.
You gifted me a poem that you had written for me and that badge in that blue box once more, but it said 'I love you, you stubborn pain in the ass' instead of what it said before because you weren't sure if you could've said it out-loud for the first time. But you did. You did when we were in bed that night, when I told you to teach me some phrases in French and the first words you taught me were Je T’aime which translates to ``I love you.”
It was one of his fondest memories of them.
"Oh, love," Harry leans closer and whispers into his ear, well aware of the fact that Draco has a weakness for that endearment (sometimes he is sort of shallow), "It's beautiful out here and more so because I'm here with you. So no, I'm not sorry that I chose to take the other route instead because you and I - we're here together."
He can sense that he has made some sort of a breakthrough here.
He turns to stand in front of Draco, with a small, apologetic smile.
"But I'm sorry that I ruined your plans for the night." He places his hands over Draco's own and rubs small circles on his forearm before he uncrosses them and to his utmost surprise, Draco doesn't resist.
He cradles Draco's hand on his own and places a small kiss on the back of his hand, "Hear me out, Juliet?"
Now, he has but one chance.
“But soft! What light from yonder window breaks? ‘Tis the east and Juliet is the sun -”
One more kiss on his forehead. “Arise fair sun and kill the envious moon, who is sick with envy.”
“I take thou at my word.” He trails his hands down to Draco's waist while he pecks his eyelids, his cheeks and the tip of his nose, which turns into a rich shade of crimson. He can't decide if it's because of the cold or not.
“Call me but love and I'll be new baptized.”
Draco resists the smile that threatens to form on his face, but it's sort of a futile attempt, "It's thee not thou."
"I said that on purpose, Juliet." Harry has a soft smile of his own on his face while a familiar warmth curls up in his chest.
It elicits a soft laugh out of him.
Draco's arms curl around him as he pulls Harry into a tight embrace, his face buried in his neck, "I'm sorry, I don't want to ruin it. Our anniversaries, it matters to both of us and I don't - I want it to be perfect."
Harry places a kiss on the top of his head, holds him close for a moment before he whispers, "It is perfect, I'm with you - what more do I want?"
He receives a light shove from Draco, "Now, don't be such a sap, no more sentiments."
His laugh filters out and he finds himself to be entranced by Draco's features once more, by the soft, silver eyes and the slight slant of his brow and that fond smile.
"Dance with me, Juliet?" Harry reaches up and pressed his hand against Draco's cheek, his brown bejeweled fingers a contrast to Draco's moonlight pale skin. Draco turns his face into the curve of his palm and kisses it.
"No, not if you call me Juliet and you can't dance well."
"I can dance better than you now, I've taught myself to be better than I was before." He says with a soft laugh while he leads Draco by the hand, closer to the water.
The moonlight soothes the beach into a soft, vibrant blue. The noise of the waves crashing the sand, the slight murmur of the wind.
Draco dips his head forward. Harry stays there - he has become a master at that by now - but his face heats up, "Prove it, Potter."
But Draco's hand is back on his waist and he pulls Harry close without warning and his hands are on Draco's shoulder and their hands are intertwined, "Who said you could lead, Malfoy?"
"Harry, you and I both know that you can't lead a dance, but you lead well in the bedroom when we-"
"Not now, Draco - don't do this to me." His movements are mismatched and he misses the four oh-so obvious beats that he has been counting in his head.
"You said you can dance."
"It's a warm up, the point stands."
Draco moves with more precision now with a rhythm in his head that Harry can't follow. Or figure out, for that matter. He stumbles, trips over his own feet and Draco's feet, "You're worse than before."
"By all means, teach me to dance."
"You dance in the beats of four - one, two, three, four," Draco demonstrates as he drags Harry around the area and because of the sand, it was sort of hard to follow him, "It's a box."
"It's not a box, it's more than that."
Draco places a finger underneath his chin and tilts his head up, his smile a touch hesitant and soft, "Move with me, yeah?"
So he does.
Draco leans forward, his mouth over his ear and starts to sing a song, under his breath so that Harry can make out the words and his own movements are swift now. It was a waltz, slow and sweeping and romantic in a way that made his heart almost flutter.
"Put your head on my shoulder
Hold me in your arms, baby."
It's that one time throughout the day when he wants time to cease and be here forever.
"People say that love's a game, a game you just can't win
If there's a way, I'll find it someday
And this fool will rush in."
Harry closes his eyes, leans his head against Draco's as the words wash over him.
Yes, it isn't one of the best ways to spend such an occasion but for now and to him, it's perfect because he is with Draco and with him, it's a beautiful, rose-colored world.
"Put your head on my shoulder
whisper in my ear, baby
words I want to hear, baby."
In all, it wasn't the worst way to spend one of your anniversaries, stranded in a beautiful place with your partner because your car broke down and you don't have a spare tire or a charm to fix it. Not the best, but it's not the worst. It's a fine line, "Oh, did I mention that I'm a fool for you, sweetheart?"
Draco dips him once more and holds him there only for a second, "You mentioned that several times over the month, yes."
"Brilliant, did I mention that I love you?"
"One hundred and four times this month, to be precise - voicemails and post-it notes and drunk confessions considered."
Draco slows down and brings their steps to a halt. He stands there for a moment while Harry leans on him more than he supports his own weight, "Oh, for the - why do you have to mention those drunk confessions of love?"
"No, I must mention the drunk confessions because you wanted to publish an article in the newspaper to proclaim your love for me."
"It's on the new to-do list of the year, I will do that one day."
"So, Harry - out of curiosity, is there a chance that I might be in that to-do list of yours?"
"You wish but there was one more task on the said to-do list and I suppose it's time to cross that off now."
Draco arches a thin, pale brow towards him, "One more task - wait, do you plan to propose tonight because if you do I -"
"I - what? No? What? No, I don't."
"Oh, I - I thought you were - I'm sorry, I'm not sure why that was the first thought that occurred to me."
Harry hums, "No, there is no proposal tonight and if there was, I'm sure I wouldn't've been so discreet about it and that you would've pieced it together for sure."
"True story."
"But, I have a gift for you and yes, I know we said we wouldn't do gifts on our anniversaries either but I couldn't resist so here," He takes off the concealment charm on the box which now rests in his hand and holds it out to Draco, "but be careful, it's delicate."
"But Harry, we said no gifts on our future anniversaries."
Harry kisses the back of Draco's hand, turns it over, places the box in his palm and encloses his fingers around it. "Yeah, yeah we did but don't consider this one, consider the anniversaries after this one."
"But why?"
"Because I love you?"
"Oh, you and I both know that isn't the reason, Harry."
"I - fine, do you remember when we went to Japan for a trip, I gifted you an omamori charm for luck and protection and you said that no one has done something so thoughtful for you before?"
"Yes, I remember that and I said that Tokyo had turned you into an absolute sentimental idiot, too."
"Oh, if I'm such a sentimental idiot, why do you have the omamori charm with you now?"
"Harry, I carry it with me everyday."
"You - wait, why?"
Draco softens as he takes out the said charm, turns it over in his hand. It's blue with a small inscription on it, "Because it reminds of that thoughtful gesture. Because whenever we have a fight, it reminds me of that time in Tokyo when you bought this charm for me and thought that I didn't notice. Because it reminds me of you."
A knot forms in his throat.
Harry caresses Draco's cheekbone with his thumb while pressing their foreheads together as he whispers, "You're more sentimental than I am, for the record."
"Now, that is a discussion for the near future because the point stands, you're more sentimental and we'll take our friends' opinions into consideration, which, by the way will be -"
Harry places his palm over Draco's mouth to cease his incessant ramble because now isn't the time to discuss who is a sentimental one here, "Open the gift, will you?"
Draco swats his hand, "You could've chosen to kiss me instead but no, this is what you decide to do to shut me up."
"I'll return your gift."
"No, wait, I'll open it but don't you dare threaten to return it, Potter."
Draco breathes a slow breath and small nose scrunch, he opens the box which elicits a soft gasp out of him. Not that Draco had mentioned that he wanted that but Harry is observant when it comes to him. But Draco doesn't treat himself with such gifts and Harry has to do it for him instead since self-love is a concept that is somewhat of a sensitive subject with Draco, "I - wait, is this the -"
"The watch you've wanted for months? Yes, it is."
Draco traces his fingertips over the dial, the corners of his mouth curving into a delicate smile, "It's - it's beautiful."
"Turn it over."
On the back of the watch is an inscription. He did consider fifty four options, to be precise before he decided on the one engraved on the watch. Yes, it was simple, but it was significant, "We can have it all?"
"Yes, we can have more bookstore dates where you and I read lines from romance novels or Romeo and Juliet, in your case. We can have trips to new cities, new counties and we can fall in love more and more in the new places. We can have nights where you paint while I read out your favorite poems to you. Or blanket fort nights. We can watch sunsets together, we can be under the night sky and select our favorite stars. We can dance to our song in the kitchen in the refrigerator light. We can have more of our anniversaries, more of our movie nights and the fights that we have when we have to choose a movie, we - we can have it all."
The tears in the corner of Draco's eyes are visible and he can hear the slight tremor in Draco's voice when he manages to whisper one word with some trouble, "Profound."
"Draco, love - do you want to cry?"
"I - you can't be -" Draco clutches the watch tighter in his hand, words struck there, soft whispers of them in the space in between the two in the silence, "you're serious, yeah because if you're not I -"
Harry places his hand underneath Draco's chin, "Yes, I'm one hundred percent serious, love. I want to have it all and more with you."
He presses Draco into his chest and Draco's hand clutches fistfuls of his shirt, the watch held tight in the other. It must be heaven because his body hums. He can't catch his breath or manage to form a sentence but he takes pride in that because it's the first time that he has rendered Draco speechless, "I can't believe you."
"Why, don't you want that?"
"I - no, yes - wait, yes I want it all with you, too."
It's one of those moments where you're sure that the stars and the planets must've aligned themselves because this is where you were meant to be.
So here he was.
“We can have it all.”
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
The pictures are on the coffee table in front of him, some of them scattered and some in photo albums. He has a black leather-bound album in his own hand, an inscription in french on it that translates to our baby munchkin.
"So, he was such a crybaby, he would cry for hours and hours and because it would endear Narcissa so much, there will be several pictures of him crying in here."
Harry opens the album and sure, the first picture of the said munchkin is swollen eyes, tears on his cheeks and a red nose, "No difference now, he remains the crybaby he was or more so - we tolerate him though."
"No doubt, no doubt, he will remain a crybaby no matter what."
Narcissa sends a half-hearted stare towards her husband, "You both trouble him too much when you're together - is that the only common ground you can find?"
"Oh, thank you, mum." Draco sends a cold stare of his own towards Harry but it doesn't hold the intended effect because he is immune to them by now, "But if you do more of that, father, I swear -"
"What will you do? Cry?"
"No, if you do more of that, Harry and I will not visit you two."
Lucius turns over the page and shows him one more picture of Draco on Christmas with a small maroon sweater, the soft light of the tree on him, "Harry, you can come here whenever you want to and without this crybaby, if you will."
"Harry won't come here without me."
"I will."
"No, you won't."
"Yes, I will and you were a cute baby by the way but who cries on Christmas?"
"Narcissa and I decorated the tree without him and he did not take that too well so he decided to cry for an hour."
Narcissa is far too amused by now to so much as take Draco's side now, "Oh, yes and we had to take down the decorations because he wanted his ornament to be the first one on there - a crybaby, indeed."
"I wasn't that bad."
"No, from what Lucius and Narcissa told me, you were much worse."
"Yeah, your mother wanted to cast a 'silencio' on you once because your crying wouldn't cease and I was on her side but I thought we should be more patient."
"I - father, no."
The banter went on for a while.
The album had more pictures, too. Draco on his first toy broomstick, in the kitchen with Lucius and Narcissa, one where Draco is opening his presents, more pictures of them together and those pictures had stories.
But there was one more story to the last picture in the album.
It was one of Harry with the other three on Christmas, near the fireplace in sweaters where the four of them are invested in cards and he can't recall when it was taken but below that, in Lucius' elegant cursive are the words: Our family Christmas, 2004.
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
“It's said that when you're in love, to you, it's a gift beyond measure and that love paints your skies in the most vibrant colors and fills it with the most brightest stars.
But love instills a fear in you, that hides in the small corners of your heart. You might not realize it, but it's there. It threatens to shatter your heart, threatens to leave your skies colourless and without those stars.
Because what do you do with a sky that loses it's stars and colours?
What do you do with a heart that loses the one it loves?”
The truth is, you can’t locate the exact moment such a fear threatens you for the first time because there are several of those and for him, it’s no different.
It could be one of those drives where the two of them would be out of town together to their safe haven. Or it could be that one night in the back of the car when his fingers had walked in his hand.
Or the night Draco had taught him the names of the stars and the constellations, the night when he had told Harry of his favorite stars in the sky.
Or it was now.
“So, I read that there is an area of space that is devoid of galaxies and it’s called the Eridanus supervoid which is one billion light years across and there are theories that it is the imprint of a parallel universe.”
Draco reads such theories more often than not. A month ago, he went on this site on the internet which convinced him that humans live in stimulation and decided to mention whatever he had read on date night and that had screwed with his head for weeks. But it endears him so he hears him out, “A parallel universe?”
“Yes, and our universes can’t meet and if we were to reach the said parallel universe, our own selves in that universe will reach our universe too.”
“So, we can’t meet our parallel universe selves?”
“No, because if it’s a parallel universe, the occurrence of events there must be the same - so if we’re here on the rooftop at the moment, our parallel universe selves might be on the same rooftop, in the middle of the same conversation.”
“Debatable, I’ve read that there are absolute points in time which must remain the same in a timeline of a certain universe - so, what if that absolute point in the timeline of the parallel universe isn’t the same as ours?”
“But, it has to be because it’s a parallel universe and if it isn’t, wouldn’t that be an alternate dimension or an alternate timeline instead?”
“Mm, true.”
He stares into the sky in front of him, a sky with an absence of stars because of the light or air pollution of the cities. He can count the stars in the sky here - there are fifteen stars in the sky and it’s not much. Because there was a time where it would take nights for him to count the stars in the sky.
“So, do you suppose there is an alternate universe where I stay here with you, in a universe where we can have it all together and in a universe where I don’t have to move 6884.9 miles from you?”
It will be a rose-colored universe if it exists. He wishes that was his timeline because he is that selfish. A timeline where Draco stays with him, a timeline where the two of them can have it all. But it isn’t and now, he has to live with that. “I suppose there is.”
“It could be our universe, we can make it ours.”
“Do you want to make it ours, Draco?” Harry whispers into the night as Draco lays on the rooftop by his side. He hears him shift so that he can look at Harry, and he mirrors him.
Draco pushes himself up on an elbow so that he can look down at him, a trace of sadness on his face and his voice a soft whisper as he says, “Harry, I would rewrite the stars to make that universe ours but on a more realistic note - I wish we could.”
Harry turns his head to the other side, tears on the corners of his eyes. Might as well have the conversation that is overdue, “So, what will that entail for us?”
“I don’t want to break up.”
Harry wishes he didn’t need so much of him but he does because now, he has so much to lose and it renders him defenseless, “It might not work out between us with the distance.”
“Harry, I can have that heart of mine break a thousand times over if it’s you who breaks it but for once, for the both of us, don’t break it.”
The fairy lights along the edge of the roof casts a faint light over his moonlight-pale skin and his heart clenches in his chest. He wants to remember this forever, the way these lights dance over his skin, the way it adds more colour, “I don’t want to break your heart or mine.”
“But?”
Harry reaches out and places a hand on his cheeks, “But you won’t stay here and yes, I don’t want you to stay here because of me but the prospect of this new distance between us - it’s hard to process and it might break our hearts soon. You were a constant throughout the years but now, you won’t be here, you won’t be with me and when you move, you’ll take a piece of my heart with you.”
“So, I’ll leave a piece of mine with you.”
Draco removes the ring that he wears around his neck with a pearl white stone on it, the one that is in a delicate silver chain. “It’s a birthstone ring, mine is a moonstone and it’s tradition that we wear it over our hearts and if you hand it over to your partner, you hand over a piece of your heart to them and so, here is a piece of mine - it’s yours. Yours to break, yours to love.”
A knot forms in his throat.
Draco places the chain with the said moonstone ring in the palm of his hand. It’s a piece of his heart in his hand, “It’s yours, but promise me that you won’t break it.”
“Cross my heart.”
✵•. ✵°✵.｡.✰.｡. ✵°✵.•✵
tagging some people for a boost, you can ignore this if you like<3 @phoebe-delia @rockingrobin69 @nv-md @krystalliumm @missdrarrydawn @slytherinnbitch @drarryboosterclub @thecornerofbelu @jooncookie @silver-de-vonne @harryandginnydeservesbetter @just-ineffable-things @sitp-recs @textrovert-01 @chinike @confictura-210 @l0vegl0wsinthedark @draco-and-harry-malfoy-pottah @ladderofyears
Is it just me that thinks Harry is actually gay but makes fun of everyone who is because he knows people will make fun of him and his parents will disown him? Like we don’t know about his family. I’m not saying I like him because you shouldn’t make fun of people just because you hate your life, but I think we really need to think about this.
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