Gillman's Gilravage

s/he | nonhuman | adult swim free, swim forever

[gone-fish-mode]

𓆏 | introduction

last updated: 11 / 05 / 2025

about me 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

Gillman | s/he | Adult

I am Gillman or Gill or G or any other name you know me by. I use this blog to talk about being nonhuman and to interact with the community. At the moment, I'm perusing a career in technical writing and communication! My goal is to work with research journals and publication.

I don't remember when I awakened, there has always been something nonhuman about me. I discovered the community back in 2016 and understood its relevancy to me, but didn't join. In 2020 I started lurking in the tumblr community and by the end of 2021 I actively identified with multiple nonhuman terms. I made this blog in 2023 to finally start interacting with the community.

Anon asks + DMs open

Find me on -> Nonhuman National Park -> Dreamwidth -> Personal Website (with a lot of cool resources!)

'types 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

-> Gillman -> Jersey Devil -> Physically Archaeosapient -> Transspecies Gargoyle Otherkith -> Fictionfolk -> Minotaur Archetrope Full List of types with their respective tags

tags 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

I currently only use general trigger tags when needed. If you would like me to tag a topic a specific way, please reach out to me.

-> #blub blub: posts that have my own words -> #blub answers: asks that I've answered -> #blub asks: asks that i send -> #blub stars: things that make me happy -> #fish food: nonhuman food and meals -> #gillmans reading room: archival tag -> #info: all information posts about my blog

* posts in my archival tag are not always representative of my opinion on any given matter. I use this tag to document the events, conversations, discourses, and discussions going on in the current community.

before you follow 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

I have no DNI, but I block freely.

My blog is safe for alterhumans of color, all systems regardless of origin, physical nonhumans, pshifters, CLZL, schizospec, and many others.

I am willing to talk to nearly anyone, however I am unlikely to form close relationships with those under 18.

I can not interact with reality shifting safely. Those apart of the community are free to follow and engage with me, but do not talk to me about reality shifting.

[zith-ipeth]

Hey folx

Please ignore anything @rareblackcat posts for a bit, her account got hacked, and she's working on trying to get it back as we speak

Thanks everyone

[a-dragons-journal]

hi, asking, because I can't find many resources on this: What's with starseed community? I've heard that it is problematic and I also saw that some state it is a Nazi thing. Do you have any info (and resources) on what is going on with this community and why is this problematic?

Boy, I admit I don't have much in the way of resources onhand for that specifically; it's a bit out of my scope. I probably can't tell you anything Google can't. It sums up to, starseeds are a New Age concept proposing that certain people are extraterrestrial souls sent to Earth to guide humanity to some kind of ascension. It purports that certain people are born inherently "higher" while others are more "primitive" spiritually speaking, which is already a pretty yikes concept even before you get into the history of this movement and ones like it being deeply steeped in racism and eugenics. Suspiciously, whenever you see physical descriptions of these "higher races," the ones who aren't just bog-standard "greys" always seem to be pale-skinned and often blonde, at least from what I've seen (Pleiadians, one of the most well-known and "highest" races, are literally described as "Nordic aliens" or "indistinguishable from Nordic people").

It's also heavily linked to the idea of aliens "seeding" earth in the past, which is itself a concept steeped in racism and the ideas that a) different peoples are literally different species (some of which are of course "higher" than others) and b) historical people of color of course couldn't actually accomplish anything impressive or significant, it must have been aliens. It's also linked to the idea that Someday Soon™ there will be a great purge, I mean ascension, where the enlightened and spiritual starseeds will rise to a New Earth and everyone else will be left behind (which doesn't sound like the Rapture or like every dream of the Grand Revolution which conveniently doesn't care how many people it leaves behind or kills in the process of creating its new dream).

So. yeah. There's more to it, but that's about all I know off the top of my head and with minimal research (all of which comes up in the first few links of google results for various starseed-related searches). I don't really have any spectacular resources that have all this information in one place, but it's not hard to turn up with a little searching.

Tl;dr, the big difference between starseeds and otherkin and the reason one is kind of problematic and the other isn't is that otherkin aren't generally claiming to be "Nordic aliens" sent to "guide humanity to ascension".

[lighthouseharbor]

it reminds me of Indigo Children which was a similar, if not related, concept from back in the 90's

[roguevexvoid]

Both the Stareseed and Indigo/Crystal/Rainbow/whatever Child movements were also ways for a particular type of middle class suburban parent to lable their very clearly autistic child. It was like the Changeling myth, almost, but in a more "benevolent" new age way.

No of *course* my child isn't autistic, they are a special new form of humanity meant to lead us to a higher state of being ect ect ect

And the two communities, while perhaps starting separate (I don't actually know) did at least definitely become intertwined.

[abyssalmaw]

also a lot of overlap with “earth angels” (distinct from angelkin).

and yeah it’s very frequently both white supremecist and ableist. Physical “signs” of bei g a starseed/indigo child/earth angel are often being blonde, having blue eyes, being pale, being very empathetic, being very passive, facing persistent cruelty, and being able to easily “read rooms/intentions”. You might notice that these might also raise red flags for a kid being abused.

often comes with a lore background of being an alien or future being or spirit inhabiting a human body for the purpose of protecting/saving/educating/guiding humanity. They’re seen as paragons of kindness, gentility, and virtue. This often leads adults around them who believe this shit to outsource morality and decision making, use kids to vent to, and punish them for failing at these things.

adults who believe theyre one of these archetypes often have a savior/superiority complex around it and see themselves as above those around them.

i fucking hate these concepts/communities with a passion. I dont think theres any healthy way to engage with them.

[arethinn]

Most of this is good which is why I chose to reblog this far down the chain rather than directly from Rani, but I wanted to pick on one thing a little bit:

otherkin aren't generally claiming to be "Nordic aliens" sent to "guide humanity to ascension".

Not the first part, but the second part -- here to spiritually guide humanity in some way, reunite this world and the otherworld, or variations on that theme -- has definitely been put forth both by individuals about themselves and as a theory about otherkin as a whole.

[a-dragons-journal]

It has, but it’s not the foundation of the community in the same way it is for starseeds. That’s something that’s inherent to the definition of a starseed - not so for otherkinity. Individuals hold that belief, but it’s not an inherent part of otherkinity or even a significant majority of the community that believes that (especially these days; I know it was once more widespread than it is now). Hence the “generally” in the sentence. :P

[lizardywizard]

Going off on a bit of a tangent, but I definitely remember those beliefs being pretty widespread back when I first joined the otherkin community (1999-2000).

Certainly less so these days, yeah. But encountering that attitude early on definitely contributed to me getting caught up in the starseed and earth angel communities for a brief while. (Though even my clueless teenage ass could tell they were racist as fuck, so thankfully it didn't last.)

[smol-paw]

What do you do once the Hype is over?

Something that is a constant point of talk in the Alterhuman community is "Where are the Elders at?" "Why don't Elders post as much anymore?"

And as someone who's been in the community for over 10 years now, I distinctly remember thinking "Hah, that'll never be me. I love posting about my alterhumanity" But low and behold, I've kinda fallen off from posting daily. Heck its a miracle if I make a post once a month! Sure I lurk around the tags and forums. I'm active in the comments at least. But I've definitely noticed my presence in the community falling to the back burner.

So I'm calling all "Elders" and "Greymuzzles"

Go ahead and pick a couple of questions from the following and answer them (or answer them all, I'm not a cop) vvvvvv

What are some ways that you still struggle with Alterhumanity?

What are some Alterhuman Success stories you have? (Whether it be finding a neat hack for dealing with species dysphoria or a fun affirming encounter you had such as coming out to a friend)

What are some lessons that you've learned after all these years?

What are some writings that you've done that you think are still relevant now? (feel free to link to them!)

What are some major differences in what the community was like when you discovered it vs how it is now?

How did you deal with the "Hype" of discovering your Alterhumanity wearing off?

What have you learned from the newest generation of Alterhumans? Feel free to tag people, respond directly to this post, or to make your own post!

[tiercelgreen]

Hello! Haven't been in the actual online community very long but I've been aware of and actively engaging with my alterhumanity for 10 years at this point. To answer some questions!

1. I still struggle a lot with my alterhumanity namely in that I feel like I'm acting too human a lot of times! While I believe myself to be nonhuman down to a physical level, the fact that I still have to walk around mimicking a human routine and doing human actions can be pretty distressing. I catch myself feeling and thinking "I'm not even a human I shouldn't have to do this I could just run away right now." quite often, but less so than I did when I was in my teens. Especially early teens.

There is also an ever present worry that I've made it all up even though I've been reminded again and again by everything about my life that I absolutely am not. I don't know if it will go away, but it's gotten much easier to ignore.

2. This is more of an Adult Money Can Be Used For Goods And Services type deal but I got a human sized dog bed and set myself up a den with a nest inside of it beneath my bed so that I have a comfortable, dark, and cozy place to relax and hide away when I'm feeling stressed out and unable to function around others. My roommate very much so understands as he is a dog in some way, and so he's very supportive overall of my lack of human behavior and need for space.

3. Don't worry about it. It's very basic advice but it's the one I stick to the most closely. Constant worry and examination of your own identity will only lead to more doubt and distress in the long run. While I do participate in a bit of discourse from time to time and generally encourage people to use the correct definitions and terminology, I am not the identity and microlabel police. If that's what works for you, good on you, but please don't feel pressured to attempt to label and explain away every aspect of your identity. Also, Write. Please write. I already have a whole post detailing this but please write about your experiences. We lose out on hearing the voices of our whole community if they refuse to speak.

4. My neocities holds all my essays I think are relevant and some that are outdated but I keep up for posterity and archival reasons. I actively encourage anyone who may read this to keep a Neocities, Dreamwidth, Strawpage, Carrd.co, etc. About themselves.

5. In a way I feel the community now is both more open and less policed/harshly restrictive towards new members. I remember the 2000-2010s Period in which every new member was holding up Thorn of Therian Territory as their primary source of advice and the older community had reactively closed off in response to the very unflattering and rude portrayal of Naia Ōkami in the documentary she featured in as well as the rise of "therian" documentaries that depicted our community as being weird and cringe which in turn encouraged folks on tumblr to begin making otherkin and therian cringe posts. (Take this with a grain of salt. I was born in the early 2000s. I mostly experienced the 2010s aspect of this which had a huge uptick in bullying over youtube.)

We were policing the community out of a need to protect our own. And while there is certainly less now, I think we may fall back into a level of gatekeeping with the uptick of bullying on tiktok and us being present in the news now. I don't think we'll ever be allowed the same level of privacy and secrecy that we once had again, but I fear we may repeat ourselves out of perceived necessity.

I enjoy, genuinely, how open this community is. But between the misuse of terminology that's been around for ages, the attempted re-coining of some terms by certain individuals or the coining of new terms for experiences we already have words for (ie. The whole "Faunaluna" situation that went down on Tiktok late last year/earlier this year.) or the rise in folks claiming others are "larping" their alterhumanity, I think we may backslide into restrictive attitudes again if we cannot handle these with grace.

6. All that was exciting will eventually become mundane. I did feel disappointment and disconnect after the "wow" of discovering my alterhumanity wore off, but through keeping up with myself(selves) and engaging with my nonhumanity in little ways each day I've been able to keep that connection. Through how I dress, speak, act, eat, make art, etc. This is how I stay connected.

I also remind myself (and others) that it is well ant truly ok to feel disconnected some days. It will happen. Be gentle and kind to yourself.

7. I think from our newest generation I've rediscovered a bit of the spark I used to have back around when I was a similar age. Which again, not very long ago, but so much has changed. The emphasis on gear and masks and quads especially, and I do love the crafty part of our community.

My biggest takeaway really has been freedom of self expression. I think the newest generation of alterhumans is spectacular at being individuals and displaying that through everything they do and every space they occupy. And I really do think we can take their propensity towards individuality and adopt it for ourselves.

[juice-wings]

HAPPY PRIDE MY BEAUTIFUL CREATURES!

Remember, you are loved, you are worthy, and you are safe here. Celebrate and be as loudly and proudly yourself as you possibly can.

There is no pride without trans people, there is no pride without disabled people, there is no pride without BIPOC people.

[silverrdagger]

whatever 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

[encyclope-dae-a]

One thing I think is important for understanding the daemian community – especially if you're coming from an alterhuman perspective – is that daemonism is not a word for a shared experience, nor a shared identity.

Daemonism is a practice. The concept of it can be used by anyone: alterhuman or not, plural or not. It can be pure playfulness. It can be imaginary, and that's okay! That's a beautiful experience in its own respect!

There's no universal daemian experience because we accept and embrace that our minds, and our experiences, are ours alone.

The community isn't built on a shared experience – just a shared idea which we all create unique versions of.

Some people stick closer to the basic idea we started with. Some just take what they like from it and throw out the rest. Some only take vague inspiration from it. Some people adapt it more than others, sometimes due to being neurodivergent, plural, and/or alterhuman.

It's still daemonism because daemonism isn't defined by us all "doing the same thing" or "having the same experience".

Daemonism is, for the most part, defined by a person deciding that they want to call what they are doing or experiencing daemonism.

And a large part of that is often in connection to the community, whether directly or in a peripheral way, by taking inspiration from the practice, making use of the community's writings, and so on.

This is why I think daemonism is often misunderstood in an alterhuman context. Daemonism is not an experience, it's not an identity – it's just an idea we each take and make our own. And that's what it should be. That's the beauty of it!

Anyone could be a daemian if they want to. There's no requirements. A lot of people get started with daemonism purely because it sounds fun! A lot of people start with only their imagination, and many people remain so.

For others, it might become something else in time, or they might discover there was something underlying their imaginings all along. It's no more or less a practice of daemonism, either way.

A lot of alterhuman concepts don't apply to daemonism because of this. Fact is, there's plenty of daemians who are orthohumans too, and plenty of people who specifically see their daemonism as an orthohuman practice.

I see it get included under the alterhuman umbrella a lot, and I feel like it gives the wrong first impression to come at it from that angle by default.

Really, it's more comparable with being a furry. For some people, it is a deep, impactful, life-altering experience, and the people who feel that way are a vital part of the community. But equally, for some it is an exercise in whimsy, playfulness, or creativity – and those people are no less members of the community for it.

We're not united by being plural, or having thoughtforms, or being alterhuman. We're united by being a bunch of people who were inspired by some books (or a film or TV show) to play around with the idea of daemons, and ended up sticking with it for one reason or another.

While the individual experience can be very deep indeed, that isn't what makes daemonism what it is.

[wandering-star-sailor]

I may not be a Sapiens but boy am I Homo

[racehorse-get-married]

I wish there were more hog and boar kins out there 😔 I must sniff out wild berries and onions alone 💔 snorf

Sneef 💔

[indornaga]

Species-Based Misgendering

The goal of this survey is to gather information of on incidences of species-based misgendering within the Alterhuman community. Please do

Introducing a survey on Species-Based Misgendering, hosted by Duranos of The River System.

     Species-Based Misgendering: the assumption of one's gender and/or pronouns based on the expectations of one's species, stemming from biases, when the expected gender does not match the individual's gender.       Gendered Expectation: the expectation set for a species' gender, whether this bias comes from a cultural or folkoric background, establishment in a media, a linguistic framework, etc.

The survey is open both to the identities underneath the alterhuman umbrella, as well as nonhuman/human+ folks within plural conglomerates. While this survey is primarily looking for responses from those who have been misgendered based on their species, those who have not experienced species-based misgendering are welcome to complete the survey as well. Interpretation of what counts as species-based misgendering is open to interpretation by each individual, and there are long-form fillable responses throughout the survey to accommodate this.

The survey is set to close on July 31st, 2026. I welcome folks to share the link to the survey wherever you are active in the alterhuman community.

[courtkossai]

this june , please do sincerely listen when intersex people talk about issues , life experiences , and identities .

some words have violent history directed towards intersex people . if one would not argue that cisgender people can freely say tranny , then should not argue that perisex people can freely say hermaphrodite . no , scientific term is not defense for this , as even sciences phase out use of this term for alternatives with clearer definitions . hermaphrodite was always meant to devalue humanity and deviation from " human standards " - scientific use for animals come as result of that devaluation , not just coincidental .

ASAB indicate nothing about one's actual life circumstances . this is label for what doctors decide sex to be based on infantile measurements , and that decision may include surgical force . even so , external anatomy do not always match expectations for internal anatomy , chromosomes , and/or hormones . phrases like " AFAB chests " mean nothing : say breasts , say breast tissue , speak clearly . 

ASAB is also not indicator of how childhood go . some intersex kids will grow up with gendered expectations that change between places and time periods , never really just one . some will grow up with gendered expectations , but always lower class of this gender , free for others to take away and wave around as threat . some will grow up and have puberty that defy these expectations , then get legal reassignment to correlate . several of these things , as well as others not stated , may be true at once . if intersex person say that childhood relationship with legal sex , personal gender , and/or gendered expectations was complex , do not pretend that this is too uncommon to care about - stand for one another , not against . 

if intersex person identify with genders that do not seem to make sense , do not disregard this as simple troll . some intersex people will be cistrans , where experiences of gender fall into both modalities . some will be transfemmasc , or even cisfemmasc , because of how people degender and/or inconsistently gender . understand that most free and intersex-friendly definition of transgender is not one which rely on personal deviation from AGAB , but on personal deviation from any form of gendered expectation - be that legal , societal , or simply personal history . 

understand that personal freedom from gender binary is not enough - need universal freedom from sex binary .

[gone-fish-mode]

an increasing phenomenon where someone follows and regularly interacts with this blog, but has my main blocked

i, by being blocked, can not make the block mutual. very awkward situation. i respect blocks.

my main is @actualamadeus . just so we're aware. you're free to continue to follow and interact while having my main blog blocked, but I just want everyone to be aware of that. Because I can not actually reach out to folks to let them know.

[otherconvention]

New Website + Forms Open

The full news post can be found here:

But to summarize: The new website is up! Artist, panelist, and staff applications are open right now and can be found here. Those forms auto-close on June 30th at 11:59pm (US East). This year's mascot vote is also open, and can be found on the same page. The mascot vote only lasts a week, so get your votes in! The email newsletter is also being retired in favor of RSS, with more details available on the news page.

[tiercelgreen]

I am on my paws and knees begging folks to realize they don't have to be the world's most amazing writer ever to write! The alterhuman tags have been feeling really devoid and empty of a lot of the usual interesting essays lately and that makes me really sad! I love it when you all write! I love reading about the experiences of people! You also don't have to be interesting to write about yourself. Most people, I find, view themselves to be quite boring and are more fascinated with the lives of others. The reality of this is that you think you're boring because you've lived with yourself/selves your entire life! Of course you're going to seem mundane to yourself. But the secret is, nobody else is you. And no matter how utterly boring you find yourself or your thoughts or your particular relation to the alterhuman community I can assure you, you are interesting to others out there. Your voice DOES matter. Your thoughts and experiences DO have value. You ARE valuable. So please, please write. Please draw. Please share your experiences through literally whatever form you possibly can! I LOVE to read about everyone's unique experiences. Some of my favourite essays and writings out there have been from people who are so entirely and vastly different from myself that I could never have even conceived of the way they viewed things and how they experienced the world around them until I read about their experiences. Some of my favourite artworks are from people who's styles and preferences are wholly different from my own. I promise you, you do not have to be talented or skilled or amazing or perfect to create something of meaning and worth that revolves around your experience. Whether that be a handful of sentences attempting to verbalize a way you felt during a shift, or a several thousand word essay on your particular experience as a spiritual therian. Whether that be a simple pen scribble or a 16+ hour finished piece of work. Whatever it may be. It has meaning because you made it with your own digits with your own hands with your own claws and its yours. Please write.

[therian-study]

Hi there! I am back. Unfortunately life has gotten in the way for a little while but now having finished with university for the summer I am now able to get on with working on the data gathered in the first stage of the study and design a second stage.

In the mean time here is a small personal project I have worked on. This is a collection of poetry relating to therianthropy, categories and my own experiences of species. I hope you can all enjoy and thank you for being so patient with me.

Downloadable Zines

Free to download zines created by myself. Transition As A Spiritual ActDownload On Descent, Becoming, and ReturnDownload Species: UnstableDo

[gone-fish-mode]

hard to hold shit with webbed hands

[gone-fish-mode]

the tags have felt different these past few months.

[talon-dragonbeast]

could you elaborate? (/nf) i think ive noticed something similar, but im interested in hearing your thoughts :>

[gone-fish-mode]

more crossposting, less and less relevant to the topic. nothing feels substantial. perhaps i've just been in the tags so often for the past 3 years that it all feels the same now but also.... I could scroll for a bit and find something interesting. But for the past few months it's just very shallow. not to drag the folks posting in it now, but i will not lie. it feels flimsy.

this is also the time of year that content in the tags drops, when everyone goes outside and is busy with life. but it's been happening before the warm months imo.