Peter Solarz

Andulka
Sade Olutola
we're not kids anymore.

oozey mess
AnasAbdin
Game of Thrones Daily
Cosmic Funnies
🪼

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
noise dept.

Janaina Medeiros
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
KIROKAZE
dirt enthusiast
No title available
Claire Keane
Mike Driver
will byers stan first human second
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@goodnitesha
you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.
you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.
instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.
you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.
your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.
because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.
so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.
all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.
Unironically waiting for the bus in the rain rn. Real ones know ✌️🌧️🚌☔
I've been here for over an hour soaking wet and pathetic and a truck driving by fully stopped in the street and reversed into the parking lot behind me. This older gentleman got it and came up to me and said "can I give you a gift?" And I asked "what's that?" And he gave me an umbrella from his truck and left. Now I'm dryer. The world is full of kindness and beauty btw. If you even care. Message to all my sopping wet sweeties
Was talking with my therapist about how I get myself some sense of achievement in everyday life, and I told her that I occasionally give myself little secret self-appointed tasks, where the only goal is to manage to achieve some completely random, pointless, arbitrary goal without anyone else finding out or asking me about the whatever weird shit I am currently in the middle of doing. There's no punishment for failing to do so, I don't dread any kind of an outcome, nor is there any other reward for succeeding the task, than managing to succeed in it - a little challenge with no other goal or purpose than being a little challenge.
She said that this is very interesting, and asked me to name an example of one of these quests that I've given myself. I froze, drawing blank, since my current arbitrary goal is to see how long I can go on without having to explain to her what furries are.
This does not end the way it begins
2003 - 2022 gerard way & ray toro
One of the most important things about mcr, and what makes mcr so awesome, is that not one single member is cool. Not one of them! They are all so fucking lame and weird.
Gerard gets asked about his artistic inspirations and he goes on a rant about Joan of Arc and squid. In lotms he had a perfect replica of some Lord of the Rings sword in his room and a notebook labeled 'Star Wars Notes'. There's literally too much to list.
Mikey is a shivery chihuahua of a human being who got more ass than anyone else in the band and got his first bass by stealing it from Gerard's ex and used to tuck his hair under his glasses and stalked his favorite band up and down the east coast. After he got famous he would invite random dudes he met of WoW to his real life house. His favorite book is IT, and as someone else who's favorite book is IT, that's not a hallmark of a well adjusted human being. He got asked for a joke in an interview and the best he came up with was "a man walks into a bar... and says ouch! :)"
Frank dropped out of a psychology program at rutgers to live in a van with 2 dudes who didn't shower. He's a perpetual motion machine of a man who said in some interview that when he got bored on tour he started reading the hotel shampoo and toothpaste ingredients list for something to do. He posted his whole ass on instagram and cries after shows. He wrote a song inflammatory enough to get the secret service on his ass and his dad drummed on tour for kiss and was maybe the last person to speak to John Lennon.
People like to act like Ray's the normal, well adjusted, cool one. He carried a spider-man action figure with him for like a year. He collected Pokémon plushies well into his 20s. He went to fucking film school and got an alfred hitchcock tattoo and made a movie abt a guy who ate eggs and went insane. We all saw the mr. Pea(Nuts) thing he posted like last week. We've all seen the pictures with James Dewees.
All four of them had an interview with a porn mag and wouldnt shut up about dnd. They wouldn't write a song for twilight but they did for Yo Gabba Gabba. None of them are cool and they don't care and that's the whole fucking point.
gerard saying that if the band all died they would find each other in the afterlife just to play together again. the lyric i’ll find you when the sun goes black in a song about the band
the way danger days was a way for gerard to process the music industry failing them and feeling so constricted and artless. and the way they illustrated that was by casting themself and their best friends as a group of rebels fighting against sanitation and consumerism. even then they knew it was ending. and even then the titular song in danger days is about finding each other even as the world is consumed in flame. i’ll find you when we’re gone. i’ll find you in our grave. and we’ll create again
One day I'll forgive myself for all the years I wasted!!! But today I think I'm going to lay down in my bed and torture myself with it
one of the most important things, perhaps the most important thing I have learned in my life is that nice people can fuck each other up in monstrous ways. people can be bone deep kind and loving and self reflective and still lash out under pressure. people can be earnestly neighbourly and charitable and hospitable and generous and still find themselves in situations where they become selfish. people can be well meaning and easygoing and gregarious and hold deep seated opinions that turn them into vicious little bullies under the right conditions. nobody is just one thing, and nobody stays one way. every person is a kaleidoscope and they will surprise you. you will surprise yourself. it's not a warning and it's not a judgement and it's not an excuse, and it's certainly not a reason to stop trying or to stop trusting. it is just a fact.
i’m going to pick up and level a bunch of gathering/crafting jobs all at once and just keep all those materials in my inventory just in case i need them. this is simply more convenient
by talos this can’t be happening
this is it. that's the whole guy
The fact that Twitter allows porn but not public death threats and tumblr allows public death threats but not porn is objectively funny and the fact that a large portion of us chose the latter over the former is objectively funnier
sorry i was so weird but you invoked a topic i am incapable of being normal about
Oops! You just touched a bad texture! 1000 years of blood and anguish
“Normalize x” “normalize y” I hope we denormalize everything. I hope we all become freaks. And I hope we all die
What the fuck is hand in unloveable hand