good hearted weirdo

el' | 22 | bi-dyke girlie experiencing the horrors | they/them | bbc sherlock hater (/hj) | bbc arch-nemesis (true) | nerdy about dw, go, wtnv, hannibal, sandman, ofmd, dbd & tma rn !!!! | currently using my blog to takes note on tma episodes i'm silly here

[goodoldfashionedvillain]

now that i have a blog, lowkey hoping some weirdo will appear out of nowhere and take me on adventures because theyd be lost w/o their blogger

[vivid-sector]

doomscrolling thru the weather app

[annabelle--cane]

yknow I'm feeling a bit brave so I will venture to say what this blighted essay's pitch actually is: reading project hail mary (novel and film) as a ravishment fantasy. in both main threads of the narrative grace is brought wildly out of his element and pulled into the orbit of a mysterious foreign stranger who is significantly stronger / richer / more powerful than him, forced to accept unsolicited lavish gifts and personal praise despite protests and discomfort, and made to live in isolated locations in extremely close proximity to these people with no say in the matter, all of which are common motifs in ravishment fantasies. on her own, stratt also brings in other common motifs of restraints, drugging, being above the law, multiple kidnappings (I'm doing crazy things with the classical definition of "rape" as in "abduction" and its shared etymology with "rapture" as in "being taken to the heavens"), and the very specific yet still common motif of "otherwise trustworthy partner goes too far and doesn't take 'no' for an answer." rocky on his own brings in the overprotective flavor common to a lot of dark romance novel heroes, i.e. "I make sure you sleep and I like to watch you while you do it, I make sure you eat enough even if you've got baggage about it, I make inhuman displays of strength when you're injured, and as long as I'm around I'll make sure nothing bad ever happens to you ever again."

the issue I was running into with researching this a few weeks ago is that almost all of the scholarly writing on the content of people's forced-sex fantasies focuses solely on women's fantasies and starts with the research question of "why would women enjoy imagining such a horrible misogynistic thing?" despite surveys often showing that men have force-fantasies (where they are the one being forced) at very comparable rates to women. my hypothesis for a bit was "either men's fantasies are exactly the same as women's or they're completely different in [x] way," which was disproven interestingly when I did finally find something about men's force-fantasies: in content they are almost exactly the same as women's fantasies but the emotional motivations are often different in [y] way, which I hadn't expected. and [y] also super applies to my buddy ryland, perhaps even more than my original [x] hypothesis.

my hopes for writing this are twofold: a) to address the question I sometimes see phm audience members come away with of "if grace likes his life by the end and doesn't seem that mad about all of that, is the message supposed to be 'violation of bodily autonomy is good, actually?'", and b) to lightly resist one of the prevailing notions in the study of forced-sex fantasies, that ravishment fantasies are solely abstracted and fantastical and pleasurable and are completely 100% separate from fearful paranoid imaginings of / flashbacks to realistic sexual violence.

[annabelle--cane]

oh also: the most common interpretation of why people have ravishment fantasies is that it allows the fantasist to disavow a desire they feel ashamed of because, in the fiction of the forcing, they don't *want* it at all, they're being made to do whatever it is and can't be considered at fault. as I allude to in my final paragraph of the original post, I think it's a tad more nuanced, but there's definitely a lot of truth to that. grace can tell stratt that he's not smart or important or capable or brave or selfless enough to do what she wants, but she'll ignore it, make him do it anyway, and kit him out with skilled staff members and expensive lab equipment and coffee just the way he likes it. it's a fantasy of being respected and heroic and good whether he likes it or not.

with rocky, the fantasy is of being forced to be loved and protected. rocky decides to initiate contact, he decides that he's moving into the hail mary, he decides that he's always going to watch grace sleep even if grace says he doesn't need it, he decides to gift grace the fuel to get home even when grace pretends he doesn't want it, and he decides he's not going to let grace die to save him even when grace says he's made his choice. the two scenarios allow grace to experience the rewards of being selfless without needing to be so gauche as to ever say he thinks he's that good of a person AND to experience the rewards of being selfish without saying he thinks he deserves to be cared for.

[thefernhands]

If you're fifteen or older an still sleep with a stuffed animal please reblog this.

My friend is embarrassed and thinks she’s the only one and I said id prove her wrong.

[kerink]

fit check! i was sick of having to look up references for what clothes grace has on the mary/erid so i compiled them as best i could.

some notes: 1) i couldn't find a white long sleeve that looked the same, but it's such a simple thing i didn't feel it was that important. 2) there's a logo on his shorts but i couldn't figure out what it was, i'd guess a nasa one. 3a) i couldn't find the same bucket hat, but there's the logo. 3b) i couldn't find that tie dye shirt to save my life. 4) the jumpsuits are exactly the same except color and i could only find the full ref for white. 5) couldn't find either ilyukhina's dress or his track suit. again, the track suit is easy so no ref needed.

obviously this is just what we can be 100% certain he has, who knows what else yao and ilyukhina had packed. honestly, i would also assume he has everything he had while on the stratt vat and in baikonur since they probably just loaded all his belongings when he was shipped off.

[replicated-archive]

you know what's wrong with me? i like information

[hexadonis]

something crazy

[inkskinned]

before you make fun of a person doing something brave and vulnerable like dancing or singing or reading poetry in front of a lot of people:

don’t.

[lobstabear]

To my 25 - 35 year olds, you've reached the age where people around you are starting to give up on themselves because they think it's too late. Don't let that energy rub off on you. It's not too late.

[knittingontheroad]

I became a tattoo artist at 49.

Married the love of my life at 50.

Got my Class A CDL at 59.

You've got time.

As long as you're breathing, you've got time.

[saltwater-goldfishy]

ok I know everyone’s considered Ryland grace wearing an “I put the ace in space” t shirt but. have we considered the infinitely funnier option of putting this shirt on eva stratt

[raviolireptile]

I had to draw this

[ikimaru]

they hug but at what cost :')

[play-now-my-lord]

going on HRT is a serious decision you should make with the utmost gravity. people might think you're cool, badass even. You might find yourself happy with your life, approaching the world with newfound wisdom one way or another. It might be what you want. It might get you off. It might just be a cool story to tell people. I, myself, found the initial experience was like I had sleepwalked through a nightmare for a quarter century - and for the first time, not just the first time I could remember but actually the first time, I was awake, and the sun was shining, and the world was beautiful. So obviously all of those are risks

[wizardnaturalist]

a book should be $5 a little drink should be $2 and museum access should be free and all hours

[erodingsinner]

once you learn about pseudoscience you're forever doomed to get angry when people talk about like. love languages or stockholm syndrome. but forced to stay quiet lest your lose your mind trying to correct millions of people

[isuggestgetfatter]

BMI IS FAKE. BMI MEANS JACK SHIT. I AM GRABBING Y'ALL BY THE SHOULDERS THIS METRIC IS COMPLETELY USELESS AND IT WAS MADE BY AN EUGENICIST

[andyztoyz]

happy pride

[hinoneko]

*sigh* fine, fine, i'll be the new doctor who showrunner. bring me two twinks, britain's tallest woman, and 1000 pounds worth of alumininamian foil

[hil-arrr-y]

Two job-hunting resources that changed my life:

This cover letter post on askamanger.com. A job interview guide written by Alison Green, who runs askamanager.

[curliestofcrowns]

useful

[blownfromthesunintothesurf-blog]

Alison Green’s advice works. 

[sw-or-gtfo-deactivated20211219]

Alison Green got me all my interviews from 2012 onward, I am reasonably sure.

[vanitycats-deactivated20170527]

Alison Green is basically my life guide.

[intentandinvention]

Mine too - she was my most visited website for the first few years of my working career, and I cannot emphasise enough how much her advice helped me navigate how to behave in a work environment. You name it, she has an answer for it. Definitely a life hack.