goop gorp shloop

just a silly lil guy

[lutalical]

[crabussy]

"I'm so lazy for lying down so often" "I'm so greedy for eating such a big meal" MY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND!!!! YOUUUU ARE A GIANT OMNIVORE. YOU'RE MEGAFAUNA. DO YOU KNOWWW HOW ENERGY EXPENSIVE IT IS TO KEEP A GIANT OMNIVORE WITH A HUGE BRAIN RUNNING. very!!! very energy expensive!!! eat that burger take that nap. holy moly. you wonderful animal. your species is made for frequent meals and daytime rests and long sleeps. let yourself be a human.

[lanrre]

relax bro aint nobody taking it away from you

[hilsonlover-57]

HOLY MOLY SILHOUETTES

They're divas your honor.

[goopiestgloopygoobster]

the angel and devil on my shoulders except they're stareing deeply into each others eyes and I feel like I'm intruding on something

[thepolyamorywriter]

Recently started watching Hannibal and oh god that show is truly for freaks like me

[goopiestgloopygoobster]

should do a curl routine on my armpit hair

[goopiestgloopygoobster]

me: you know what I am bragging when I say over 75% of my wardrobe is thrifted

*presses clap button*

*robot I made out of several kiwico pingpong gun kits shakes and shudders begging me to end its misary yet claps all the same* creak clap

me: that's my boy

[goopiestgloopygoobster]

a hiku by me:

you know what they say

a bagel a day keeps the

demons at bay .. yay

[bbbunnygutsss]

*sighs dejectedly* okayyy you got me, I care *smashes head into nearest wall with such force my skull is crushed like a beer can*

[dasloddl]

op disabled reblogs but I think the point still stands

[oddandalarmingsexualfeelings]

they should invent a headache that goes away the second you drink any water at all

[serregon]

I know we make jokes about the proverbial asexual pervert who has written hundreds of thousands of words of smut on ao3, but also shoutout to the aces who aren’t perverts. to the aces who skip the sex scenes and wince at sex jokes and awkwardly leave the conversation when your friends start talking about sex. your boundaries aren’t childish and fuck anyone who says otherwise.

[ravioliet]

i literally love saying "ON IT BOSS!!!!!" whenever someone asks me to do something like i'm some sort of henchman. it doesn't matter if they're my boss or not for real even because in the moment they are, and whatever they requested of me i'm on it

[stuckinapril]

This this this this!!!

[goopiestgloopygoobster]

walked to a river and biked to a pond going to the beach tommorrow I'm strait up watermaxxing and I think I've healed something somehow

[2productive]

I always loved how back in the day before cellphones, people were unreachable if they weren’t at home. You can call but I won’t be there to answer. You can leave a message but you don’t know how long it’ll be until I hear it. You don’t know if I’m home, but you will have to make the trip to come to my house and knock on the door, hoping I’ll be there. And if I’m not…you can’t reach me!! Now that everyone has a cellphone the expectation of being reachable 24/7 is so disastrous. And let’s not even get into read receipts. I think one of the worst times of my inner peace is when I had an apple watch and suddenly every text and phone call and notification was on my freaking wrist, even if my phone was giving the illusion of distance by being in my pocket or bag or charging in another room. I stopped using it in 2022 and I’d rather eat a jean jacket with no water than ever be so connected again. “oh you can just turn off notifications!” not the point.

[goopiestgloopygoobster]

i feel compleatly and utterly oiled up ready to be cooked put in a stew broiled #justputonlotion