Donnie wishes he could write this down, because beneath all the sarcasm and power, Donnie is just a curious little mind.
He fights the urge to nudge Leo awake and furiously spill the thoughts that trickle through his head. He wants to document this, to organize it, put it in his huge amalgamation of data and bask in the knowledge. More than that, more than his curious little mind, Donnie wishes he didn’t have to leave them. His dum-dum brothers have never lived without him, how will they cope? How will they manage all the responsibilities he’s piled on his plate?
He knows they’ll be okay, no, not because facts, but because they have to be, because he will kill god if he messes with Donnies fucking family.
Donnie wishes he could somehow record what it feels like to die.
It’s like nothing he’s ever experienced, like a gentle numbness that seeps over his limbs, like he’s floating away from his body. Its been tingling through his muscles through the past couple days as he pushes out the last dregs of his energy.
He knows this is it. By his estimates, he’s got five minutes.
A geniuses mind reduced to the most merciless limit of them all, time. All he’s created, all he’s killed, all he’s loved and hated, just… soon to be gone. The inventions, the mechanics and projects, they will be all that’s left of him.
When he’s gone, dead, and his body is just a worthless piece of machinery with no functioning computer, all will be left is the words he’s told his brothers, April, Casey, his assistants and rebellion members. He will be the impression he left on them.
And what even was that impression? The narcissistic, self-centered and cold engineer, hiding away in his lab? He tries not to think that way, to let his demons win in his last minutes. No. Who matters is the people who love him, who will remember him as level-headed, selfless and calm.
Leo matters, all muscle and determination, Mikey, burning with mystic power, Raph, a powerful heart despite no longer having one. April, focused and stubborn and beautifully impatient. And Casey, the future of them all.
What impression did he leave with them? What will he continue to say when he’s gone, speaking through jars of honey and prosthetics, age-reversing formulas and scarred hands? He knows what he hopes he says, but if he’s learned anything, its never that simple.
He hopes it says I love you.
What more is there to say than that?
To the wonderful @somerandomdudelmao who ripped out my heart and stomped on it in the best way possible.
Personally, I loved the decision to leave Donnie with no last words. Donnie is so damn smart and he has so much to say, and I love that at the very end, he would rather not speak at all than to taint the moment with his thoughts. In that moment, despite it all, his family is enough. Sobbing. SOBBING.
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