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@goosewriting
🪿 hello! i’m goose (they/them)
🪶 this is my main account where i write!
🪶 please also follow @goose-nest where i reblog art, written pieces and other things i like :D
→ requests are: open! (check this post before sending something in)
[masterlist] × [join my tag list] × [read on ao3] × [WIP list]
tags and request rules under the cut!
browse tags
#goose honks : mod posts, additions, just me talking
#goose feathers : finished written pieces
#goose scribbles : art by me
#goose mail : asks
#gosling gift : gift art by you!
rules for requesting
only reader inserts
reader is always gender neutral
reader’s ethnicity is always unspecified (as in skin colour, cultural background, etc.)
reader with specific physical traits is okay, please specify! (e.g. height, build, hair length, etc.)
mutant/non-human readers are okay, please specify!
in general, the more specific, the better!
no smut, only platonic/romantic
no blood-related reader (where the reader is the requested character's biological sibling, parent, kid, etc). sibling-like relationship through friendship/found family is ok!
no witch/sorcerer reader or demonic themes. reader with powers (think superhero/x-men mutant) is ok, please specify!
be nice :’)
if you've read the rules, add a chick 🐣🐤🐥 emoji to your request! <3
ah i totally forgot to tell you guys that i went to watch the mando movie last weekend!! it was fun :'D
admittedly i could not care less about rotta but zeb had way more screen time that i allowed myself to hold out hope for, so i was very pleased with that!! and i'm understandably zeb brained rn hehe (got another wip for him cooking 👀)
there were parts that felt like they were just more episodes of the series smushed together to make a movie, yes, but i really had a good time. and the visuals just hit different on the big screen. so if you're on the fence, go watch it! :D
Eugh
That scene in Pirates of the Caribbean where Will and Elizabeth get married mid fight. That but with ND and his (future) space spouse
Like, in the middle of a fight he just
ND: Reader!
Reader: YEAH?!
ND: Will you marry me?
Reader: I DON'T THINK NOW IS THE BEST TIME!
ND: Now might be the only time! I've made my choice, what's yours?
Reader: I- Kay! Marry us!
Kay, actively fighting off some guy™: I'M A LITTLE BUSY RIGHT NOW!
Nd anon
i had to rewatch this scene on yt because it's been a while that i've seen the movie but shdfkf hilarious omg i love how barbossa stands on the railing as if addressing everyone on the ship lol
kay: okay everyone, we're gathered here today-- *an enemy approaches, and turns to them, shooting from the hip* to get rid of you pests! reader and ND share a confused look, taking matters into their own hands. ND: reader! do you take me to be your husband? *grabs an enemy by the collar and flings them across the room* reader: i do! ND: good! reader: ND, do you take me to be your space spouse? *shoots someone twice right in the chest* ND: i do! kay: i now pronounce you-- *shoots another enemy* --you may kiss-- *punches another dude and knocks him out* --you may kiss-- *shoots yet another guy and sighs in exasperation* --just kiss!! ND shoots someone approaching reader from behind and picks them up, twirling them in the air as reader places a big smooch on his face.
Easy Promise
summary: when reader gets trapped in a time loop, they set out to save the Discovery and her crew, but also confess their feelings to Rhys amidst the chaos
relationship: Gen Rhys x gn!reader
warnings: mention of blood and wounds, character death (it's okay he comes back), time loop shenanigans, hopefully in-character banter, well-deserved kisses
word count: 6.7k
A/N: you're telling me there's not a single fic for rhys out there?? with that face card?? pls 😩🙏 this one's inspired by that one episode of agents of shield. set in st:dis S2 with pike as the captain. also don't quote me on anything here nor pay too much attention to the time tables; i'm no scientist ok xD
[all masterlists] 🪶 [star trek masterlist] 🪶 [ao3]
(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
A laugh escapes your lips as you talk to Rhys over comms while you gather data on a nearby asteroid. You continue your mission, diligently scanning different samples to find the ones best suited for your project, but your thoughts are filled with the Lieutenant Commander's face. You're glad he can't see yours right now, as your fond expression surely gives it away.
You've been dancing around each other for a while now, and the conversation while you work seems to be heading a way you weren't expecting, but welcome nonetheless. You'd rather talk in person though, and since you're almost done with your data collection, you tell him you'll talk more when you're back on the ship. Rhys says he's on his way to the transport bay and he'll meet you there by the time you're back. After hanging up, you quickly finish up your work and check your equipment one final time, then ask to be beamed back onto the Discovery.
There's the familiar flurry of lights, the scene before you disintegrating momentarily and reattaching itself again, now showing you the transport bay of the ship. The technician stands at the controls, but there's no sign of Rhys.
You ask her if she saw him, and she says everyone has been called back to the bridge as the Discovery was hit with something. Quickly stashing your equipment away, you hurry over, and it doesn't look good. Pike asks for a status report, but no one can quite make out what exactly hit them, as the monitors are all jumbled.
The captain commands the helm to get them out of there. However, there's not only something pulling the ship in, but there also seems to be an energy emanating from the anomaly, disrupting the warp core. Detmer informs everyone that if they engage it, it might blow.
Right then, Michael arrives at the bridge to announce that the spore drive is out of order, and engineering is trying to get it to work.
Detmer points out a wave quickly reaching for the Discovery, Pike orders to brace for impact. The ship is shaken abruptly, everyone holding onto whatever they can. Tilly slips, hitting her head on the console and falling to the floor, unconscious.
The Discovery stabilises, there's a hiss, and before anyone can react, a panel in the wall gets blown off its hinges by an exploding pipe. The piece of metal is torn into smaller pieces by the pressure, and the chunks go flying in all directions. One smaller piece grazes Pike's face, leaving a cut on his cheek.
You turn to Rhys to ask if he's okay, but he only manages a look of surprise before collapsing to the ground. Rushing to kneel down next to him, you watch in horror as blood starts to pool around him, staining your hands and legs as you pull him up into your lap. The panel piece hit him in the back of his head, killing him instantly.
Pike appears at your side, telling you there's nothing you can do and summons some nurses to take Tilly to sickbay, as well as move Rhys' body away. He orders you to go help with the spore drive, and you leave the bridge but never make it to engineering, collapsing in a hallway on the way, fresh blood still on your hands as you curl into a ball and cry inconsolably.
You stay there for a while, trying to process what just happened. It's only when Reno finds you, and you look up at her, trembling, that she helps you up and hugs you tightly. She walks you to a shower room to get cleaned up, generating a clean uniform for you to change into. Then she tells you to come to the lab whenever you're ready. But you just stay there, once again curled up in a corner. After a moment, there's another violent shake of the ship, and you fully fall on the floor. You can't find the strength within you to get up.
Finally, the comms crackle, and you hear Pike give the order to start evacuating the ship, but he barely manages to finish his sentence when there's a high-pitched ringing, everything goes white, then black.
— — — — —
You find yourself back on the transporter pad, and you fall to your knees as you weren't expecting to be standing all of a sudden. The transporter technician hurries to your side, helping you up to your feet. You're still trembling.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
You sob. “Rhys, he's-he's–”
“He got summoned to the bridge, like everyone else,” she assures you, a hand on our trembling shoulder.
“W-what?” you ask, looking down at your hands, still gloved by your exosuit. You quickly shed your outer layer, and look at your bare hands; they're clean. There's no blood.
Confused, you hurry to the bridge, where you find Pike asking for a status report just like before. Detmer answers there's been an anomaly, the spore drive is unresponsive. The warp core is unstable. You look over to Rhys' station, and see him typing on his monitor, images all glitching. You let out a sound of surprise and relief, and Pike turns to you.
“Gen!” Ignoring the captain's order to get to your station, you run to Rhys and hug him tightly, crying into his chest. He hugs you back, slightly flustered but mainly confused.
“Lieutenant!” Pike calls to you. “You will have plenty of time to hug after we–”
“No, you don't understand–He was–Rhys was dead, captain, how…?”
“I'm very alive, as you can see,” the man in question says, a reassuring smile on his lips. You cup his face, just glad to see him still standing.
The doors to the bridge whoosh open and Michael walks in, announcing that the spore drive is out of commission at the moment.
You turn to her, and she gives you a confused look as you're still in Rhys' arms. But your confusion is a different one. Didn't they already know this? Everything is happening again… But then that would mean… You look at Detmer's monitor, spotting the incoming wave before she does.
“Everyone, grab onto something, it's about to get shaky!” you call out. The urgency in your voice makes everyone follow suit, and as the ship rumbles violently, everyone is more or less stable on their feet. Tilly slips but catches herself before falling, and you breathe in relief.
As everyone gets back up, you hear a hiss. It's coming from the panel.
“Not yet! Duck!” you call out again, and without losing a second this time, you push Rhys out of the way and against the wall, shielding him with your own body.
The panel explodes again, hot steam exiting the hole in the wall. Once more, Pike's face is grazed by one of the flying chunks. The one that hit Rhys last time flies past where he was standing, getting lodged in Detmer's arm instead, and she cries out in pain.
Pike orders her to get to sickbay, and she stands up on wobbly feet, Tilly helping her to the lift. Owosekun takes over, getting a reading on what's out there. You peel yourself off a very flustered and confused Rhys.
“Whatever hit us, it's emanating from the anomaly,” Owosekun says. “If there's any more waves, it could end up destabilising the warp core entirely, sir.”
“Is that what happened?” you ask, turning to Pike. “Captain, I don't know how to explain it but this… This has all happened before.”
Pike grimaces slightly. “You'll get your head checked later at sickbay, and that's an order,” he retorts. “For now, go help with the spore drive.”
You want to explain yourself, but his stern gaze makes you bite your tongue.
“Yes, sir,” you say reluctantly, then turn to Rhys one last time. "Don't die? Again? Please?”
“I-I'll do my best?” he replies, brows furrowed in confusion, but a smile playing on his lips nonetheless.
You smile back at him, then turn and take your leave, nodding at Michael as you pass her. As you're entering the lift, you hear Owosekun announce that the anomaly is approximately 12.000 kilometres away.
When you get to the lab, after picking up Jett Reno on the way, you find Stamets barking out orders at the technicians. A tank on the opposite wall is leaking a blue fluid, and they're trying to contain it.
“What's going on?” you ask, trying to assess the situation to see where you can help.
“Whatever hit us disabled the mycelium network,” Stamets responds, rummaging through a box of tools with urgency.
“I didn't know what was even possible,” you say.
“Yeah, she said the same thing last time.” He points at Reno without looking up.
The woman shakes her head with furrowed brows. “I didn't say anything.”
You're about to ask what tool Stamets is looking for when you register the meaning of his words. “Wait, ‘last time’?” you ask, approaching him. “Stamets, are you… Are you experiencing all of this again, too?”
He pauses immediately and looks at you. “Yes. Wait, You too? How?”
“I have no idea,” you say with a defeated sigh. “But why is it just us?”
“What are you talking about?” Reno interjects, and you turn to look at her.
“Stamets and I, we've already been through this, it all happened already. I don't know how to explain it.”
“Like a time loop?” she proposes.
You and Stamets share a horrified look.
“Exactly like a time loop,” he confirms.
“How many runs do we get before the warp core explodes again?” you ask, the severity of the situation starting to sink in.
“Oh, is that what happened?” he asks matter-of-factly. “I was wondering what took us out.”
“Wait, the warp core is gonna blow?” Reno asks.
You take a deep breath to parse this new information. “We need to make a plan,” you start. “With the anomaly, the warp core is unusable. We need the spore drive.”
“I know, but I can't access it,” the man laments. “It's like it's on cooldown or something.”
You look down at the floor, brows furrowed, then back at him. “Can we jump-start it somehow?”
“Maybe? But where do we take the energy from?”
Reno has been closely following the whole exchange like a tennis match, her head going back and forth between you two. The possibility of a time loop doesn't seem to faze her at all. “Even if the warp core is unstable, we might be able to generate a precise charge,” she offers.
“But we'd have to physically lay the wires from the warp core all the way up here,” you say, then turn to her. “By the way, you're taking this surprisingly well.”
“Yeah well, with everything that happens on this ship, it was only a matter of time before we came across one of these. What else is new,” she says with a shrug and a half-smile. You can't help a chuckle at that.
“I still don't understand how you're unaffected though,” Stamets circles back, looking at you. “My tardigrade DNA leaves me mostly unaffected by time…shenanigans.” He gestures vaguely in the air. “Where were you when the anomaly hit?”
Your hand comes up to lightly scratch your face as you think back. “I… I think I wasn't,” you conclude.
Both Stamets and Reno shoot you a confused look.
“Yeah, that must be why…” you continue. “Just when the first wave hit, I was being beamed back onto the ship. Being in the buffer for that split second left me out of bounds, I guess.”
“Huh, what are the odds,” Stamets points out.
“You've already given up on fixing anything on this run, haven't you,” Reno says after a moment, and both of you nod, Stamets adding, “Yeah, pretty much.”
“Last time I was...distracted,” you confess, not wanting to add much more detail. “Do you know how long it takes for the final wave to hit?”
In that moment, the second wave hits the ship, and you all struggle to keep your footing. Some of the leaking mass falls through the gutter on the floor, and there's a short-circuit.
“Guess that answers my question,” you say with a sigh. “Not a lot of time until the last one.” You point to the leak. “You need to get that under control.”
“I know,” Stamet huffs, then thinks for a moment. “Let's do the following: we time every instance. That way if they're getting shorter, we'll know. I'll stay in the lab to get the drive running. You stay on the bridge and try to figure out how to get the warp core stable again. And you know, keep our crew alive.”
“Good idea. That way we only need one of us to find a solution to get out of here.” You ignore his last comment, knowing that you failed last time. But you promise yourself no one else will get hurt again while you still keep your memories of what's happening.
“You should ask for a time loop code word,” Reno says suddenly.
“What?”
“You know, if you told me to say something only I could come up with to signify you've already talked to me, I'd say 'triple tribble trouble',” she explains. “Tell me that next time and I'll know you're serious about the time loop and we can get to work faster.”
“That's...a great idea, actually. I need to ask the captain that.” You turn to Stamets. “See you on the other side,” you say and give his shoulder a squeeze, and he smiles at you.
You know there's not much time left, so you run all the way back to the lift, crashing into the wall as you enter it at such a high speed. You jump from one foot onto the other until you arrive. When you step out into the bridge, Pike turns around, getting up from his chair to give you a stern look.
“I told you to stay in the lab,” he says, but you ignore it, knowing it'll all be over soon anyways, and approach him, making him recoil and fall back into his chair. You lean in maybe a little too close, your hands on the armrests at his side, and look him in the eyes.
“Captain, we're stuck in a time loop,” you start. “Tell me something only captain Pike would know, so I can say it back to you next time and we'll save time to find a solution.”
He holds your gaze, somewhat perplexed, and for a moment you think he's decided you've gone insane, but then his shoulders relax ever so slightly.
“Misty.”
“What's that?” you ask, pulling back a little to let the poor man breathe.
“Misty,” he repeats. “My first horse.”
You smile. “That's a good name.”
“She was a good horse.”
Owosekun swivels around in her chair. “Captain, there's another wave incoming–”
“Yes, the last one. That's the one that makes the warp core go boom,” you explain, your words hurriedly leaving you as the clock is ticking. Then you look at Pike. “We're out of time. But we'll make it next time. All of us. I promise.” You look over to Rhys, an unreadable expression on his face. You give him a sad smile, feeling the ship starting to rumble underneath your feet. Once again, there's a deafening ring, a blinding light, heat and then darkness.
— — — — —
This time you're ready, standing on your feet as you're beamed on board yet again. Without a word, you shed your suit and beeline towards the nearest lab. There, you grab a cooling spray and a chronometer, which you start and clip to your belt, then head to the bridge.
“Captain.” Your voice booms through the room as you enter, and everyone's attention is on you in an instant. You approach him. “We're stuck in a time loop. Think of something only Christopher Pike would know, something that isn't in a file anywhere.” You look to the side then, and mumble, “At least I don't think it is.”
“Something only I know?” The confused look on his face reveals that he's not sure if he should humour you or send you off to get your head checked. But he thinks it over for a moment, then nods. “Got it.”
“It's Misty, your first horse,” you say. “She was a good horse.”
His face goes completely slack, mouth agape. “How did you–”
“You told me last time,” you interject, not loving the feeling of interrupting your Captain like this, but every second counts.
“How many times have you had?” he asks.
“I'm currently on the third, and I hope it doesn't get much more than that.”
The doors open, and in comes Michael. Before she can speak, you point at her.
“Yes, the spore drive is out of commission.” You turn to Detmer. “And the warp core is unstable, the third wave blows us all into smithereens. Here comes the first one, so grab onto something!”
Before anyone can ask what's going on, said wave hits the Discovery, shaking it violently. You quickly walk towards Detmer's side of the helm and grab onto her station. Once the worst of it is over, you find your balance again and head to the panel which will explode imminently.
“Gen, help me get this open,” you call Rhys over, and he's surprised at your use of his first name in front of everyone, but he comes to your aid quickly, and you pry it open. “Everyone get down just in case,” you say, and pull the tab of the cooling agent, spraying it onto the already deformed pipe. After some sizzling and some steam, it seems to have passed, and you sigh in relief, letting the empty can clatter onto the ground.
“Lieutenant, what's going on?,” Pike asks.
You turn around and face the bridge, talking to everyone this time. “We're stuck in a time loop. Only Stamets and I are unaffected. No time to explain. The thing is the warp core is unstable, and the spore drive is out of commission. We're trying to find a solution in parallel. The first to succeed is the one that gets us out of here.”
“How much time do we have?” he inquires, his stance and tone showing that he's taking your claims seriously.
“Not much.” You check the chronometer. “Maybe twenty-five or so more minutes? It's the first time I'm timing it.” You clasp your hands together. “So, ideas people. How do we stabilise the warp core?”
Everyone pitches in, occasionally checking in with Stamets over comms as well, running simulations, doing calculations, trying to find a solution. You don't have any final plan but at least you're getting a lot of non-viable things out of the way, which you can set aside from the get-go the next time.
Once the time is up and the final wave is imminent, you run your hands over your face. You look over to Rhys, running another simulation, clicking his tongue as it doesn't give the desired result.
Screw it, you think. They're all gonna reset soon, anyway. You make your way to him, grabbing him by the collar, and pull him in for a kiss. A sound of surprise leaves him, and before he can melt into it and kiss you back, you pull away. You chuckle at his bewildered face, flushed from the blatant PDA in the bridge in front of everyone.
You turn to look at Pike and laugh again, he looks just as surprised. Then you face Rhys again, his hand coming around your waist.
“I've been wanting to do that for a while,” you admit. “Even before the time loop.”
“It's unfair I won't remember it,” he says in a low voice, violent blush still on his face as he can feel everyone's eyes on you two.
“Then I'll just keep kissing you, hoping it's the time you do,” you assure him, a warm smile on your face that he mirrors.
“Final wave incoming,” Detmer announces.
“How far is the anomaly?” you ask her, still in Ryhs' arms, realising you've only been tracking time but not distance.”
“11300 km.”
“It's getting closer every time…” You run some approximate calculations in your head. “That gives us around fifty more instances.. Probably even less.”
“Hey, you'll figure it out,” Rhys says, his free hand coming up to your face to cup your cheek. “If anyone can, it's you.”
You take his hand and turn to the rest. “Us, all of us together,” you announce. “We'll make it.” You feel the rumbling under your feet, and you lean back into Rhys, hugging him tight.
This sucks, you think before everything goes black.
— — — — —
The next instances always start the same: cooling agent and chronometer, confronting Pike and using Misty as a code word to get everyone's attention, no questions asked. And after cooling down the pipe to keep it from bursting, you keep coming up with possible solutions with the crew, bouncing off of each other's ideas. Most are discarded as the simulations fail time after time. Stamets seems to be in the same predicament with the spore drive. He's gotten into several arguments with Reno and Tilly over the course of the loops.
There's only one constant for you; by the time the third wave hits, you'll end up in Rhys' arms after surprising him with a kiss, enjoying his flustered face.
Soon you start to lose count how many times you've rematerialised in the transport bay. The distance between the ship and the anomaly keeps decreasing however, as does the time between waves. The team comes up with good and plausible ideas, but for every simulation that ends in failure, you can feel your initial confidence chipping away bit by bit.
At some point, after your whole spiel with Pike, you throw the cooling canister to Detmer.
“The pipe behind panel A-18 is about to blow and you get hurt,” you tell her. “Freeze it down before Michael gets here.” You turn to Pike. “We've tried everything and we're getting nowhere. I need a different approach. Have Stamets explain the frequency cancellation idea and keep working on that. Rhys, you're with me.” You wave him to you and step into the lift.
“Frequency cancellation?” he asks, and as you exit the lift, you explain how by now you've figured out that the anomaly irradiates some sort of frequency that destabilises the magnetic fields responsible for containing the core's antimatter. You've tried simulations with different frequencies to counteract it in an attempt to make the warp core usable again, but it's either not powerful enough, or not feasible to engineer given your time constraint before the explosion.
“So what do you need me for?” he asks, looking around the hallway, trying to figure out where you're going.
You don't reply immediately, and instead cut a sharp corner to enter a supply closet, pulling Rhys in with you. Once the door closes, you wrap your arms around him in a tight hug, burying your face into the crook of his neck.
“I need a break,” you whisper, and you can feel yourself starting to tremble. “Can you just…hold me for a minute?” His arms wrap around you, unsure at first, but when you tell him 'tighter', he pulls you closer, softly pressing his cheek against your head.
You stay there for a few minutes. You'll have to sacrifice this run, but you don't care right now.
When you pull back to look up at him, he loosens his grip but doesn't let go completely. Your hands go to his chest, and you smile sadly to yourself.
“You know, the first time, before I knew about the time loop…you died, Gen. In my arms.” You look up at him, tears threatening to fall. Behind your closed eyes, you can still see his face, frozen in surprise, as the blood pools around his head.
He frowns slightly. “I'm sorry you had to go through that,” he says. One of his hands comes up to cup your face, wiping away a tear that rolls down your cheek. “But you won't have to see that ever again. Because Stamets and you will get us out of it. I'm sure of it.”
You hum, leaning into his touch as he ever so gently wipes every single tear from your face.
“I need to confess something,” you say after a moment, bringing your own hands up to hold his face as well. “I've been stealing a kiss every single time since then. Because I couldn't bear the thought of losing you again without ever letting you know how I feel about you.” His brows rise in surprise, then he clicks his tongue in mock annoyance.
“It's unfair that I don't remember,” he remarks, an adorable blush on his face.
“Yeah, all the previous times you've said that too,” you say with a giggle.
“Then…can I give you a kiss for you to remember?”
Unable to say anything with the way he's looking at you so tenderly, you merely nod. He leans in, capturing your lips in his, and you sigh into it. The pecks already had your heart fluttering, but now that you're experiencing this, you know you won't be able to settle for anything else. The way he gently pushes you back against the wall, the heat of his hands seeping in through your uniform wherever he touches you, the hunger and urgency in his ragged breaths as he dives back in time after time; if the warp core blew up right now, you wouldn't care.
Except that you do, because he wouldn't remember this moment. You've used up too much time already anyway; this run was almost for naught. At least you'll cherish this kiss forever.
Rhys finally pulls back, both of you catching your breaths.
“I've been wanting to do that for a while,” he admits with a bit of a smirk, and you decide that you like his confident side, a lot.
“Glad the feeling is mutual,” you say with a chuckle, thinking back to how you said the same thing the first time you kissed him.
“You owe me now,” he remarks, placing one last lingering kiss on your cheek.
“What do you mean?” you ask as you trace his jaw, your fingertips gingerly caressing his skin, making him exhale a shaky breath.
“When the loop resets, I won't be able to remember this,” he says, leaning into your touch. “So you have to promise me you'll let me kiss you like that again.”
“Easiest promise I've ever made.” You beam at him.
There's a rumble which quickly intensifies, and you two hold onto each other and the shelves to not fall over.
“That's our cue,” you say, straightening your uniform and fixing his hair, which became a bit undone earlier. “I really hope Stamets had some sort of breakthrough.”
You two exit the closet and make your way to the lab, where you find Stamets talking to Reno and Tilly, who was on the bridge earlier.
“So, where are we at?” you ask them.
Stamets turns to you, opening his mouth to talk but stops before anything comes out. His eyes dart from you to Rhys and back to you, and he sighs.
“Seriously? When we're so pressed for time?”
“What? I needed a break.” You cross your arms defensively, evading the knowing looks Tilly and Reno are giving you. “Besides, don't think I didn't notice you sneaking off at the tenth instance or so–”
“Okay!” Stamets interrupts you with a nervous laugh, and you shake your head amusedly. Then you bring your focus to the monitor over the work station.
“Got anything new?” you ask, pointing at the words 'SIMULATION: FAILED' on the screen.
“Well, yes and no. The antimatter in the warp core is still too unstable to use.” Stamets walks over to the monitor and you all follow, watching as he points to the diagram. “The type of frequency emitted by the anomaly is also affecting the spore drive to a degree. The problem is that the core acts as a resonance chamber of sorts, making the drive completely unusable.”
“What if we turn off the warp core?” Rhys asks.
“It's better, but still not enough,” Stamets replies, crossing his arms.
“We need to ditch the warp core entirely,” Reno proposes.
“Sounds easy enough?” you ask, looking from one to the other.
“The problem is that when the antimatter collides with the anomaly, we are not sure what the reaction will be. It could either cancel each other out or rip a tear in space-time.”
“Of course.” You sigh, wondering why it's always the Discovery that attracts these kinds of catastrophic events every time. Tilly is visibly holding something back, so you raise a brow at her. “Yes, Tilly?”
“In theory, there's a way to ensure it will cancel each other out and not cause a black hole.”
“Which is?”
“Speed,” she says.
Stamets inputs a new set of variables, showing the warp core being ejected at different angles, but the simulations fail.
“If I may.” Tilly adds more parameters, and you see the warp core symbol doing a donut in the air before exploding, then hitting the anomaly. 'SIMULATION: SUCCESSFUL'.
“That's a very precise move,” Reno points out.
“Detmer can pull it off,” Rhys assures her.
“Not just that.” She replays the simulation and points at the explosion. “We have to program the core to detonate at just the right second. And we have mere seconds before the shockwave hits us.”
“The moment we disengage the warp core, I think I can reboot the spore drive just in time to be out of there just as it detonates,” Stamets says, and just as he finishes speaking, the third and final wave hits. You almost fall, but Rhys catches you. You check the chronometer on your belt, it'll be a very close call at this rate.
“The next one is the one,” you say. “It has to be.”
“It will be.” Stamets takes your hand and gives it a squeeze. “Just one last time.”
“Yeah.” You return the squeeze, then lean into Rhys and close your eyes, knowing what follows.
— — — — —
Once again at the transporter bay, you know the drill. You don't lose time with the chronometer this time, every second counting, so you just grab the cooling agent and run as fast as your legs will take you to the bridge.
This time you use the code word while you freeze the pipe. When you turn back to the captain, he waits for you to continue. You address the whole room when you speak.
“We're stuck in a time loop.” You start your explanation one final time, hopefully. “Only Stamets and I remember everything, the rest restarts. I'll explain later.” Before Pike can even ask, you add, “I have lost count of what instance we're on. Everything we've tried thus far has failed. The gist is that the anomaly destabilises the warp core, which in turn is affecting the drive spore. The only way out of here is with the drive, and for that we need to eject the core.”
Just as you're walking to Tilly's station, Michael arrives on the bridge.
“Yes, Michael, we know. Everyone hold onto something, it's about to get shaky!” You ignore her slightly offended and surprised look, but when the first wave hits, everyone comes out unscathed thanks to your warning. Pike doesn't even know what to say, he's never seen you like this. No one has.
“Tilly, run a simulation with the following parameters.” You explain the ejection plan, with the donut and detonation. It ends up being successful. “Oh, thank god,” you breathe in relief, giving Tilly's shoulder a squeeze. Then you turn to Detmer and Owosekun. “Helm, we need you to grab onto the warp core with the tractor beam and perform this exact move.” You swipe the schematics over to their screens.
“This is…crazy,” Detmer comments after looking at the plan.
“But not impossible,” you say, walking over to her and giving her a pat on the back. “If anyone can do it, it's you.” Then you turn to Rhys. “As for you, you'll have to arm the warp core to detonate with precise timing. Bryce, open a channel to the lab. We need Stamets on this.” Finally, you turn back to Pike, who's been sitting in his chair, watching this scene unfold. You suddenly realise that you've been giving out orders without consulting him. Fluster crosses your face. “That is, with your permission, sir.”
He gives a small smile and a half-hearted shrug, as if to signal he has no say in the matter. “The conn is yours, Lieutenant,” he says, then he does the first thing you've not seen coming since the time loop started, the first thing to really surprise you: he stands up from the chair, offering it to you.
“S-sir, please, I couldn't.”
“I insist,” he says calmly.
You take a careful step, and when you see he's really expecting you to sit down, you approach the chair. Sure, you've been in a captain's chair for simulation training or when the captain and commanders left the bridge and left you in charge while they were gone. Never in your wildest dreams did you think you'd ever get to sit here for real with a captain present.
As you sit down, you look over to Rhys, who gives you an encouraging nod. You mirror it back to him and take a deep breath. With your mind back in the game, you start giving orders, discussing with Stamets how to pull off the maneuver.
Once the core is armed for detonation, you give the order to drop it. There's a hollow clunk that reverberates through the hull of the ship.
With the warp core disengaged, you tell Detmer to activate the tractor beam. She holds onto the core and spins the Discovery once, then twice, as Tilly gives her the final calculations for the throw. The crew has impeccable timing, and you carefully watch the countdown Tilly put on screen for everyone.
“Black alert,” you announce, the lights and alarm going off, then point at Rhys. “Go.”
He gives in the input for detonation, and there's a sharp light that inundates the bridge as the core is just about to blow up, but Stamets is already starting the jump. A few seconds later, after the familiar rumble of the spore drive, you hold your breath and look around the bridge.
“What was the captain's first horse?” you ask the helm. Detmer and Owosekun share a confused look and answer both at the same time, “Misty?”
You jump to your feet.
“It worked!” You turn around to Pike, and go in for a hug. He goes stiff when you throw your arms around him, so you immediately pull back again, cheeks flushed. Somewhere in the back you hear someone stifle a giggle. “I–I'm so sorry, sir. It's just been… Yeah.”
He chuckles, placing a hand on your upper arm and gives it a squeeze.
“Good job, Lieutenant.”
You give him an appreciative smile and a nod, then turn back to the rest of the crew, who clap and whistle. You laugh at their antics, and as you step forward, your leg gives out underneath you. With your support gone, you fall rather inelegantly to your knees and then fully onto the floor. In the blink of an eye, Rhys is at your side, asking if you're okay.
“Rhys, bring the lieutenant to get checked out,” Pike orders. “Have them also check for…” He vaguely gestures in the air. “Time and space remnants that could become a problem.”
“Yes, sir,” he says with a nod, then helps you up to your feet and holds part of your weight as you make your way down to the lift. In the background, you hear Pike over the comms telling Stamets to also go get checked out.
Once you've crawled onto a medical bed, Rhys explains what happened and what you should be tested for. Now that the immediate danger is over, you can feel your body starting to give in to exhaustion. Culber checks you over, running several tests.
“You're in the clear,” he says once the results come in. “The only thing worth mentioning is that your adrenaline and cortisol levels seem to have been spiking for a longer period of time, so you should go to your room and rest. Doctor's orders.” He adds the last bit with a wink, then injects something into your neck. “I just gave you a mix of low dose painkillers and depressants so you can come down from your high.”
“Thanks, doc”, you say, rubbing your hand over the spot where he poked you. When you try to jump off the bed, your legs still aren't responding, so without even having to be asked to, Rhys puts your arm around him so he can take part of your weight, and you slowly make your way to your quarters. If it wasn't for the drugs, you're sure you'd be nervous about him going into your room for the first time. But right now, all you want is to get into your bed and sleep for a week or so.
Once the doors close behind you, Rhys sets you down onto your bed. You grumble something as you try and fail to kick off your boots. He laughs and crouches down to help you out. Once your shoes are off, he pulls up the blanket for you to get under, and you comply.
“You all set? Can I get you anything?” he asks.
Your hand comes out from under the blanket to hold his, and you tug lightly. “Will you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?”
He hesitates only for a moment before giving in. You scoot to make space for him and he lies down next to you, without letting go of your hand. He's on his back while you roll over to your side so you both fit in the bed.
“You know, in the previous iteration, you made me promise something,” you say after a moment, your heart hammering in your chest as you gather the courage to make good on your word through the growing haze of your drugged brain.
“Yeah, what's that?” he asks.
Propping yourself up on your elbow and placing your other hand on his chest, you lean in slightly, your eyes falling to his lips.
“You gave me something that I'm supposed to give back.” Before he can ask what you're talking about, you close the gap. He takes in a sharp breath of surprise through his nose but quickly melts into the kiss, arms going around your waist to fully pull you up onto him. Bracing your weight on either side of his head, you kiss him like he did in the supply closet. But kissing standing up and lying down are two different things, and you have to fight to keep your cool. Thankfully, the sedative is starting to make your movements languid, so you fall into a slow make-out. After a while, you break the kiss and let yourself fall back to his side.
“Ugh, the drugs are kicking in. I'm so tired,” you grumble.
He laughs airily, trying to get his breathing back under control. “You had one hell of a day. Or days. You need to rest.” He places a kiss on your forehead and climbs out of bed to tuck you in, then sits on the edge, caressing your cheek. The fog in your brain is impossible to fight now and a silly giggle escapes you.
“I like you so much Gen, you have no idea,” you almost whine, patting around to find his hand, and he meets you halfway, interlocking your fingers. With your unfocused eyes starting to droop, you miss the flustered face and his smile, one of those that can't be stopped.
“You can tell me all about it when you wake up.”
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A/N2: i couldn't find a single gif for rhys :( so excuse the crude banner lol i made that at like 2 am last night xD
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⭐ Masterlist: Star Trek
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• last updated: may 27, 2026
🌸 : fluff 🍑 : steam and fluff ⚡️ : angst 🥀 : angst & comfort
💛 Gen Rhys (# gen rhys x reader)
🥀🌸 easy promise: when reader gets trapped in a time loop, they set out to save the Discovery and her crew, but also confess their feelings to Rhys amidst the chaos
Anew
summary: reader realises that they want more of life, and that they’re ready to leave it all behind for Cal
relationship: Inquisitor Cal Kestis x gn!reader
warnings: mentions of wounds and blood
word count: 9.2k
A/N: i can’t believe this has been in the works for two years already, wow. i’m very happy with the first half especially, and this was a bit of a practice run for another inq!cal project that i’ve been working on, my first long form fic. i really hope you don’t mind another defector cal story after this one lol either way, thank you to everyone who’s left comments and tags on the first two parts. i’m still very proud of them. hopefully this is a worthy ending to this trilogy :’)
[all masterlists] 🪶 [star wars masterlist] 🪶 [ao3]
Be sure to read Underneath, Warmth and Pitter-Patter (in that order) first :D
(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
“Officer.”
A stern voice calls your attention, and you startle slightly at the harsh tone. You look up to see your superior’s stern gaze trained on you; you were totally lost in thought right now, and he noticed. You clear your throat followed by a quick apology, and you don’t miss the slight mocking smile on one of your colleagues.
Lately, you’ve been distracted, but you can’t really place what it is. Your thoughts seem to wander a lot, yet you can’t quite grasp where they land.
Bringing your focus back to the task at hand, you feign taking some notes on your datapad. You’re currently at the daily morning brief with the officers and workers of your sector. They discuss several topics, most of them internal affairs and organisational things, until your superior brings the focus of the room to you once again, announcing you’ll be leaving soon for a mission off-planet.
You do your best not to grimace; it has been several months since your adventure on that jungle planet where you drifted down a river and had to find your way back through the thick vegetation, completely soaked. Ever since then, you’ve considered yourself lucky to not have been deployed again. You really don’t want a repeat of that. But your luck has run out, it seems.
Now you jot down some notes for real.
First thing in the morning, you’re leaving for Sesid. It’s a system in the Outer Rim, so you’ll be gone several rotations, since the trip there and back will take a while. Your boss explains the state of their business there, and how an Imperial comm relay was sabotaged and destroyed, which is why you have to go there in person to decode some logs, accompanied by a bigger group of soldiers to assess the situation. While he goes on about the incident, you quickly look up the planet on your datapad. Before the Empire, it seems they were a tourist location, so there’ll probably be a decent mix of species. At the moment, Imperials are conducting some sort of pharmaceutical research, the main islands which used to be filled with hotels and attractions are now closed to the public, as well as the locals. The broken structure seems to be more on the outskirts of the main archipelago, though, judging by the mark on the holomap.
To no one’s surprise, you can’t access more about the research. That information is above your clearance level. You internally roll your eyes, mentally already starting to make a list of things to pack, and documents you’ll need to read on your trip regarding the local language.
The rest of the meeting goes by pretty quick, and you’re all sent off back to your stations. As you make your way to your office, you realise that you won’t be able to see Cal until you’re back, since he’s currently gone on a mission in who knows where. So when you’re back at your station, you write a quick message for him, telling him you’ll be gone for some time. You want to add that you’ll miss him, and that he should take care of himself, but you know that messages get supervised often. The last thing you want to do is give his boss more reasons for “corrections”.
You decide to end the message with a “See you soon”, and send it off. Looking at your now blank screen, you heave a sigh. Again, your thoughts threaten to wander off to a place you don’t have access to. It occurs to you that you haven’t really been able to spend a lot of time with Cal lately; he seems to be out and about much more often for some reason. You really hope it’s not some sort of punishment to not let him take a break, because of you. Hopefully once you’re both back at the Fortress, you can enjoy a nice dinner together and have a talk.
— — — — —
Before you know it, you find yourself on Sesid. While the main group of Troopers and technicians stayed at the broken comms relay, both to check out what happened and to get it back up and running, you and a smaller group get sent to the nearest city to ask around if anyone saw anything.
You’re silent as you’re all sitting on the back of a large speeder, hovering down the bridge connecting this side of the archipelago. With your two trusty Troopers on either side of you, you should feel at ease, as you know the guys, but you’re also painfully aware of the person sitting across from you. While you can’t really be 100% certain of where they’re looking, you can feel their gaze on you. And that wouldn’t be a problem, if it wasn’t for their black armour; a Death Trooper. Why one got sent here in the first place, you don’t really know. If anything, you’d have thought that they’d stay at the site with the rest. You’re no spy, or soldier, so you’ll leave most of the questioning to the rest, but things must be really dire if they sent one of these.
When you can finally exit the vehicle, you heave a shuddering breath, urging your two Stormtroopers to follow you. Telling the rest that you’ll start asking around, you hastily get away from them. The Death Trooper looks after you as you leave, but doesn’t object.
Walking into what seems to be the main street of the small city, you take in your surroundings. It looks strangely mundane, the vendors at the stalls are selling their wares, children are running around, people just go on about their day, walking their pets.
People seem to be used to the Imperial presence by now; you only get the occasional strange look, but get mostly ignored. Or rather, everyone gets out of your way. The native species however, the Draedans, seem to hold a bit more weight in their gaze as you walk past them. Their red eyes are striking, and you have to force yourself not to stare at their sharp teeth. In any other situation, you’d have been rather intimidated by them.
Getting to work, you start to ask around if people saw what happened with the comms relay. It’s a rather big structure, which could have been seen all the way from here, if it were still standing. So you ask about any sightings of strangers, off-worlders, ships, anything. Most people dismiss you though, not looking at you directly, and quickly hurrying away with a quick “I don’t know anything”.
With your hands on your hips, you look around, wondering how to get anyone to talk without them feeling threatened. Looking at your Troopers, you’re about to tell them to put their blasters away, when something catches your eye. A little further away, a human male picks up who you assume to be his daughter, a child no older than five years old. But she drops the stuffed toy she was holding, and the father doesn’t seem to notice.
You beckon the two soldiers to follow you with a quick nod and approach the local. Picking up the toy, you tap him on the shoulder.
“I think you dropped this?” you say, more to the kid than to the guy, and her face lights up, and she takes it, thanking you in the local language. Luckily, you did brush up on the most basic vocabulary, so you’re able to respond.
Now that you have the attention of the man, the Troopers ask him if he knows anything. He bites the inside of his lip nervously, eyes darting around the market. You pick up on it, and offer to talk somewhere else, to which he agrees. So you follow him to his house. Once inside, he sets down the kid and she takes off to another room. The man starts telling the Troopers what he saw, describing a group of people not from around here, and answers all follow-up questions.
You’re listening to the conversation, until you feel a pull on your uniform sleeve. You look down, and find the child again, looking up at you, asking you something which you can’t quite understand. A human woman, the mother, is standing next to her.
“She’s asking if you’d like some tea,” the mom translates. The offer takes you by surprise.
“I don’t see why not,” you reply, surprising even yourself, and the kid guides you to the dinner table, where you sit down.
‘I don’t see why not’? you repeat to yourself as you furrow your brows. There are a lot of reasons why not! Poison, threats, blackmail; this could go very badly.
You watch the woman in the kitchen, readying a teapot and two sets of cups – so you won’t be drinking alone. And she doesn’t seem to tinker with it either, so probably not poisoned?
Bringing your gaze down to your hands on the table, you wonder for a moment if you should take your gloves off. Then again, that seems unprofessional and too casual.
Suddenly, you hear a light chuckle, and your eyes dart back up to meet an old lady sitting across from you, seemingly having appeared out of thin air; you didn’t hear nor see her approach and sit down. You narrow your eyes slightly as you take in her form. She’s small, her grey and white hair tied into a thick braid, and despite her wrinkly face, her most striking feature are by far her eyes: they’re milky white, the border of the iris barely dark enough to differentiate it from the sclera. She sets down a cane against her chair as she settles into her seat. You conclude she’s blind.
“Why, aren’t you far away from home, hmm?” she asks. “What brings you all this way?”
“Just work,” you reply, unnecessarily curt. There’s just something… off, about her. You can’t quite place what, though.
The mother comes to the table and places down a tray with the teapot and cups, reaching one to you and the other to the older woman. Then she pours you both some tea, the waft hitting your nose immediately. It smells delightful.
“Don’t bother our guest too much, Ma,” she says, placing one final bowl with sugar cubes on the table. The familiar rattling sound catches the older woman's attention. “Just one,” she warns the grandma, to which she nods with a smile.
The moment the younger woman turns around to return to the kitchen, you see the grandma plop one sugar cube after the other into her tea, adding four in total. She smiles mischievously at you as she stirs her cup. You can only watch her, perplexed. What is going on and how did I end up here, you wonder.
“So, Officer,” the old woman starts, taking a sip of her now surely much too sweet drink with a slurp, “how do you like our town so far?”
“Can’t say I’ve had much of a chance to go sightseeing,” you reply, taking a sip of your own drink, and humming in delighted surprise at how good it tastes.
“Unfortunately it’s not as beautiful as it once was,” she says with a pained sigh. “Before the Empire came here, it was much more lush, full of life. A lot of the fauna has since left this part of the archipelago, looking for calmer waters.”
“So I’ve read,” you say, wondering if she only lost her sight recently. It might be a stupid question, but you risk it anyway. “You wouldn’t have happened to have seen – or rather, heard – anything suspicious or out of the ordinary lately? I’m sure you’re aware of the commotion around the communications tower not far from here–”
“Ah yes, the tower,” she interrupts with a dismissing gesture of her hand. “Exploded and went up in flames, I felt it all the way from here. Could smell it too. Whatever your people build with, they might want to consider something less flammable.”
You decide to ignore her jab at the Empire’s shortcomings regarding building materials.
“In the days before the incident, did you hear anything that caught your attention?” you continue questioning. “Any strange conversations at the market, perhaps?”
She taps her chin as she thinks back with a hum.
“I did hear someone talking about planning some big outing. I assumed they were going hunting, with all the weapons they had. A Rodian. Blue. Big scar on his arm.”
You’re about to inquire if she knows any names or anything that could be a lead, but as your mouth opens to talk, it closes again, and you blink a couple of times.
“If you don’t mind me asking, how–”
“How can I know what colour he was when I’m blind? Ah, my child,” she interrupts you as she leans forward, like she’s telling you a big secret. “There are more ways to see than just with your eyes.”
Immediately you think of Cal, and the way he can perceive things through the Force.
“But you already knew that, didn’t you?” she asks, taking another sip of her tea.
All this time, she was looking in your general direction as she talked to you, but suddenly her friendly face turns serious. Her empty eyes dart up to meet yours and a slight shudder runs down your spine. You’re compelled to hold her gaze, unable to look away.
“You’re not like the other officers,” she starts, the furrow of her brows almost imperceptible with the deep wrinkles on her forehead. “Have you come to the realisation that you’re just a cog in a machine, pointless and unmoving, bound to break?”
For a split second, you wonder if you’ve been drugged, and mentally reprimand yourself for accepting drinks from strangers when you’re clearly seen as a hostile.
“You may fool the others, but I can see it, child,” she goes on. “You yearn for more, don’t you.”
She doesn’t formulate it as a question, but more so a statement. And all at once, your wandering thoughts from the past days, weeks, months… It all makes sense. You’ve lost purpose.
Day in, day out, you’re decoding transmissions, searching through logs, listening in on your colleagues’ comlinks. And for what?
Cal is out there, putting himself in danger, going after the remnants of an Order that has long fallen apart. Getting punished when he “fails”, whatever that means. And for what?
The grandma is right.
You do yearn. Yearn for a life that is better, different, fulfilling. But most importantly, you want a life that you can properly share with Cal.
Feeling like a kid that got caught doing something that they shouldn’t be, you drag your eyes away from her gaze and down, catching your own eyes in the tea’s reflection.
“I should go,” you say in a small voice, but before you can get up, her hand moves across the table to hold yours.
“You may be lost, but you can find your way again. It all comes down to one question: will you act, or succumb?”
You get up so quickly that the chair screeches against the floor as it’s pushed back. The house goes silent as everyone turns to look at you.
“Thank you for your hospitality, but we’re leaving now,” you instruct, and your Troopers look at each other, then back to you.
“But we just started the interrogation…” one of them says, and you turn to look across the table. The grandma is gone. The cup on her side, empty.
Great, now I’ve gone insane.
“Finish up, then. I’ll be outside,” you say, give the man and woman one last acknowledging nod each, then head out the door.
As you walk back down the market street, your hand shoots up to your forehead. Do you have a fever? Did you hallucinate all of that? Clearly, the old lady was Force-sensitive… Can Jedi make time loops to trap people in? You know that with the Force come a great variety of powers, but that one would be new. And highly unlikely… Right?
You stop in your tracks as you catch a glimpse of the Death Trooper talking to some locals. Quickly turning on your heels, you beeline for a narrow alley leading away from the market. You navigate the strange maze until you find a secluded corner where you stop and lean back against the cool brick wall. Taking one deep breath after the other while counting, you try to calm yourself down, but it doesn’t really work. Your hand comes up to your pocket, where you can feel your comlink. There’s a short battle of wills inside you, and you sigh in defeat as you take it out. Biting your bottom lip, you ping Cal’s code. He’d get a short ring, knowing that you’re trying to contact him, and he’ll call you back once he can. Communicating while either of you is on a mission off-planet is held to the absolute minimum, as it puts both of you in danger. That’s why you settled on this form of contact, giving the other the chance to go to a safe space to talk.
It’s only a minute until he calls you back, but it feels eternal. A thousand questions swarm your brain, but one of them is more prominent than all the others: What do I do? Now that you’ve been made aware of your own desire to leave it all behind for a better life with your lover, effectively defecting the Empire, you worry that someone is going to pick up on it. Which could get you into a lot of trouble. You’ll have to act like nothing’s wrong for the foreseeable future, and the thought makes your stomach churn.
When the com link finally rings in your hands, you almost let it fall out of surprise. You’re quick to pick up the call, and you can hear Cal breathing heavily on the other side.
“Can you talk?” you ask, and you hear some rustles.
“Yeah, just had to take care of something,” he replies with a sigh, not directed at you. “Is everything alright? Are you okay?”
“I’m… I’m good,” you say, suddenly ashamed for calling him for no apparent reason, given every call like this puts him at risk. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
“I’m fine, just catching my breath,” he answers, then pauses for a moment, waiting for you to continue, but you don’t. “What’s wrong?”
Everything.
“Nothing,” you lie, holding the comlink a little tighter.
“But you called me for a reason, right?” His tone isn’t annoyed, but worried.
“I just…really wanted to hear your voice,” you admit in a small voice.
He doesn’t reply with words, but you can feel him reaching out through the Force. Warmth spreads on your cheek, like he’s holding your face. There’s a ghost of a touch on your forehead; a kiss. You smile.
“Thanks, I needed that,” you finally say. “Today has been…strange, to say the least.”
“You can tell me all about it when you’re back,” he says, and you hear his rhythmic breaths as he falls into a light jog. “I gotta go now.”
“Right, sorry for keeping you,” you say.
“See you soon.”
“See you.”
I miss you.
I love you.
These are the words you want to say to him, but you can’t. Because despite it being a secure line, there’s no telling who might be listening in. Calling him at all is risky enough. No need to further give his superiors more reasons for a “correction”, for going soft or some kark like that.
The moment your call disconnects, there’s another ring, this time from your Troopers. You pick up, and they ask you where you are rather worriedly. You smile sadly to yourself. Yeah, these two are alright.
— — — — —
When you’re back at the Fortress, you head straight for the shower, knowing that Cal's ship is scheduled to land that evening. After cleaning up, you head to the mess hall for a late lunch, planning to get a portion to go for Cal for later, as the dinner menu doesn't look as good, but the moment you stand up with your tray to put it away, your comlink beeps. It's your boss, summoning you to the office posthaste.
Once there, he briefs you on a traitor situation: there’s suspicion of a group at the Fortress planning to defect, and you’re tasked with finding them. There's a whole pile of logs and files for you to work through. You work until your eyes can't focus anymore and all letters on the screen mix into a jumble of nonsense. That’s when you decide to call it a day and look at the chrono. You curse under your breath as it's been a while since Cal landed. Somewhere in your brain you register the thought that it's weird he hasn't messaged you upon arrival asking where you are and maybe even pay you a short visit, but all the doubts are clouded by your heart swelling at the thought of finally seeing him again.
You quickly tidy up your workspace, ready to tackle the rest the next day, and head to the hangar. You reach it in record time and the ship is there, deep in maintenance, but there’s no Cal to be seen. Looking around, you pick out one of the technicians and approach them to ask about his whereabouts. Apparently, Cal got here early and was intercepted by the Grand Inquisitor who whisked him away. Your stomach drops when you hear that, fearing the worst.
Immediately you go back to the barracks to get a bag with a change of clothes for yourself and head to Cal’s room. You wait a while, pacing around until he finally arrives.
You don’t even wait for the door to fully close behind him before you tackle him in a hug, and he winces at the impact, but still envelops you in his arms. Walking with him to the couch, you help him take off his armour. When you slide the helmet off his head, you almost drop it at the sight of his face; a dark bruise is forming around his eye, his hair messed up, and a fresh cut bleeds from his temple.
“You need to go to the med bay,” you instruct, not even bothering to ask what happened, knowing he wouldn’t tell you.
Cal huffs, taking off his boots with a grunt from the effort.
“I’m fine,” he remarks, clearly lying as his movements are stiff and short.
“Cal, please,” you try again, but he shoots you a glare from where he sits, and you flinch slightly at the intensity. Seeing your reaction, his face softens, and he holds his head in his hands, heaving a deep sigh.
“I just want to be with you right now,” he says in a small voice, still looking at the floor. You hesitate only for a moment before giving in.
“I’ll go get supplies. Take that off,” you instruct, and he continues to peel off his armour while you grab the bacta and bandages from the refresher.
While you patch him up, you try your best not to audibly react to the bruises and scratches all over his torso. Once you’re done, you make him promise that he’ll go get checked out first thing in the morning.
After you put everything away, you lie down on the couch, propped up by the cushions, gesturing for Cal to join you. He’s more than happy to oblige, resting his head on your chest.
“Do you want to talk about it?” you offer, but he shakes his head, so you grab your datapad from the small table and read your novel while he dozes off, softly running your free hand up and down the nape of his neck.
After a while, you feel your focus starting to slip, so you put the holopad away. Getting a good look at Cal, you notice how the skin around his eyes has darkened, not just from the bruise, making him look more tired but also more intimidating. For a long while you just watch him, until you start nodding off too, and your startle as you shake yourself awake wakes him up as well, so you both decide to go to bed.
The next morning, Cal’s gone when you wake up, which is how it usually goes. It doesn't mean it stings any less, though.
You keep yourself busy the next couple of days with your tasks, reading through endless logs and listening in on so many comms, you’re sure you’re now in on any and all gossip at the Fortress. The most frustrating part is that nothing catches your attention for a very long time until you finally find a set of communications that don’t make sense.
For some reason, you can’t access the content of the messages. But it’s the sender and receiver that you can’t wrap your head around as it’s just strings of letters and numbers, instead of someone’s name. Usually, any contact takes place between two users, which means names get logged. Even if someone uses a terminal, it’s only operable by using a datastick, which has the user’s information in it. Your superior has given you a higher clearance level for this job, so you’ve been able to see all names and more data than usual. But what caught your attention is that these communications in particular don’t have user names or codes tied to them; it’s a different type of number, all in the same format, more or less. You have no idea what it’s for, though.
You look them up on the holonet, and you get everything from coordinates to serial numbers of different products, but nothing that makes sense. With a click of your tongue, you search them in the internal database, and find a couple of documents where the file number includes the particular string of characters, but nothing you can use. You decide to search another one, just in case, and as you scroll, you find that this particular one is the code for a certain terminal in a different wing of the Fortress. You perk up at that, refining the parameters and running another search with a different string, and then another. Lo and behold, they’re all the codes for different terminals in a certain radius of each other.
Looking up from your screen, you blink a couple of times. This means that there are terminals that don’t log users or any data that can be traced back to a user when in use. Was that intentional or an oversight from the programmers? You grab your datapad to start a report on it so it can be corrected, but you stop yourself. If you report this, not only will someone look into why users aren’t getting logged, but you’d probably get the tools to override and access the message contents from here. However, you find yourself starting to get restless in your office, so you pull up the building’s schematics and decide to walk there.
It takes you around ten minutes to arrive at where the dot on your map is, except that a wall is separating you from it. Apparently the terminal in question is in a maintenance hatch. You get a couple of strange looks from technicians and Stormtroopers on patrol as you run your hands along the seam of the wall, trying to figure out how to open it. When you finally give up, you stop one of the technicians walking by, instructing them to open the hatch. They look confused but don’t object, pulling up their datapad to quickly type something in, and you hear the wall panel hiss as it unlocks. Opening the compartment, you’re met with pipes and thick wires running from side to side. Shoving a bundle of suspiciously loose wires to the side, you find the terminal underneath. You get your scomplink wire from your pocket, plugging it into the wall, the other end going into your own datapad.
The technician is still standing there with a stiff stance, unsure what to do as they haven’t been dismissed yet.
“Are there many of these hidden terminals in this wing?” you ask as you look down at the screen, indicating that it’s accessing the terminal.
“They’re actually all over, but they’re just for maintenance, we rarely need to access them. Only for routine check-ups or if something is acting up.”
“Why can’t they be accessed from the normal terminals?”
“They’re on their own network to manage resources. If there’s a problem, it sends a ping,” they respond, shifting their weight from one foot to the other.
“Is that so,” you say, clearly not interested anymore in what the technician has to say as your eyes start scanning the logs. You quickly scroll through and skim over the list, it’s mostly just automated messages, either pinging a problem or a message that everything is running to the overseeing technician on shift. There’s also a handful of manually written logs for maintenance check-ups.
Knowing the timestamps of the other messages you found earlier, you search for any coinciding logs. Success. While it’s not encoded or anything, in fact it’s in Basic, you notice that the words are misspelled on purpose, so that nothing would get flagged by the automated scans. The exchange is between two technicians who work on this floor.
Your tapping on the screen becomes more frantic as you read through the messages. Their plan is to set out in a stolen ship at a certain day and time by the end of this week. The more you read, the more conflicted you find yourself to be, as you realise that they have a very solid plan. The only thing they need is an access code from someone with a higher security level and clearance. And they're planning to steal this, from one of the supervisors. You know that if they try that, they will get caught.
Suddenly an image pops into your mind: you joining the two defectors, getting on that ship and flying far away, never looking back.
Will you act or succumb, the old lady’s words echo in your head as you realise you’re holding a golden ticket off the Fortress.
Your hand moves on its own as it hovers over the button to delete the logs. Your temporal access also unlocked this option, which you’d usually not have.
“I-Is everything okay? Should I call for a med droid?” the technician asks, their hands in the air as if getting ready to catch you should you fall.
“What?” you croak out. Bringing your focus back to your body, you realise you’re trembling. The technician looks at you worriedly, not in real concern for you, but probably more so with the fact that they’re stuck with you, looking like you might collapse.
“No, it’s–it’s fine. I’m fine. You’re dismissed.”
“Yessir.” They don’t waste a moment more and hastily walk away.
Taking a deep breath, you press the delete button. There’s no going back now.
— — — — — —
Later that day, Cal wakes up in the middle of the night. His arms stretches out next to him to hug you closer, but he’s met with an empty bed. Sitting up in bed, the slight panic vanishing any trace of sleep from his mind, he immediately relaxes and heaves a sigh of relief when he sees your silhouette against the window. You’re sitting on the bench by it, your hands in your lap as you fidget with your fingers, looking out onto the vast oceans.
You hear the sheets rustling as Cal gets out of bed and joins you, sitting across from you.
“What’s on your mind?” he asks, voice gentle.
You don’t answer immediately, bringing your gaze to the sky, watching the bright reds and oranges on Mustafar peeking through the clouds.
“Are you happy, Cal?” you finally ask, looking at him. He scoffs.
“I don't think I have the luxury to ask myself that and you know that,” he retorts, hurt crossing his face for a moment, and you grimace. “But I know I'm happy when I'm with you.”
You look away, and he softly nudges your foot with his, raising his chin a bit in a silent inquiry about why you asked.
“I'm also happy when I'm with you. Or I was.”
His soft smile turns into an alarmed expression at your words.
“I miss you so badly when you're gone, but when we finally get a moment together, I still ache. For you. It breaks my heart to see you like that,” you say, voice breaking, and point at the bruise still evident on his face. “What happened?”
“Don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to,” he says with a bit more bite than intended, looking outside.
“It's because of me isn't it?”
“What? No,” he retorts, bringing his eyes to you again, brows slightly furrowed.
“Can't you see? They're separating us. Sending you away time after time without even getting a break. Only for you to get back and…beat you up. Punish you.”
“Hey, listen to me. It's not your fault. I mess up, I make mistakes when I know better. This is on me. And it has nothing to do with you.”
Cal scoots closer, expecting you to curl yourself into his waiting arms for comfort, but you pull up your knees and hug yourself, leaning onto the window instead, feeling the cold transparisteel against your cheek. You don't miss the hurt that crosses his face at your dejection, and you close your eyes, heaving a sigh.
He softly calls your name after a while, gingerly tracing his fingertips over your shin, like he's scared you'll swat him away.
“What's really going on?” he asks.
“...We deserve better. You deserve better,” you whisper into the darkness. Your brows furrow, eyes glistening with determination as your gaze flickers up to meet his. But the moment you look into his concerned eyes, you falter a bit. “Today I did something, Cal. Something that can't be undone,” you say in a small voice, taking a shaky breath. “I did something that could get me fired. Scratch that. It’ll get me killed.”
“What did you do?” he asks, trying not to panic at what you’re telling him. You hesitate, and he huffs. “Whatever it is, I can fix it. I won't let anyone harm you. But for that I need to know exactly what you've done.”
You can't help the tears. He holds you, feeling helpless not knowing how to make it better.
“Please talk to me,” he pleads.
“There's a one-way ticket off the Fortress. A fool proof plan with a deadline,” you finally tell him. He pulls back, disbelief clearly etched into his face.
“You mean, escape? Become a deserter?”
You nod.
“You can't be serious.” He grabs you by the shoulders, his gaze insistent. “When they find you, when, not if, because they will find you, they might do something worse than just kill you. You'll always have to sleep with an eye open. Constantly watching over your shoulder. They might even send me after you. You're safe here with me.”
“I obviously want you to come, too!” you snap, running the back of your hand over your nose as you sniffle. “Whatever they're doing to you, it's starting to catch up to you. You're different from when we first met. You're angrier. I understand that your power feeds off these negative emotions, but that can't possibly be sustainable for your body, heart or mind. You come back from your missions with migraines and nosebleeds from using your psychometry, scratched and bruised like you’re their hound to use and abuse however they want.”
Finally you fully hug him, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt as your tears stain the fabric.
“I've come to love you more than I could have ever imagined, Cal. And I can't see my life without you in it. But what we have here currently, it's not a real life. We're just cogs in a machine. Yes, we're fed and taken care of physically. But wouldn't you like to be able to see the sunset whenever you like? Feel the snow under your feet or hear the wind hum as it blows over valleys of tall grass? Maybe have a pet or two. Dare to dream and know that you even have the option to pursue it?”
You’re full on sobbing now, trembling in Cal’s arms.
“I don't want to leave you,” you continue. “But if I don't tell my superiors and these two escape, I'll be the prime suspect. If I go with them and you stay, who knows what they'll do to you. If I tell them and they're caught, I'll also be questioned as to why the logs are gone.”
“What about everything you've built for yourself here? Your job and career?” Cal asks, holding you close.
“I'd trade it all in a heartbeat for a life with you,” you say, pulling back to look at him.
“Where would we even go?” He finally breaks, voice cracking and tears threatening to fall.
“Somewhere far away, we'll keep watch on Imperial comms,” you say, cupping his face. “If they ever find us, by the time they’re there, we'll be long gone.
“We'll never have a normal life.”
“This isn’t normal either, Cal. Surely you see that,” you conclude, bringing your lips to his as you speak in between kisses. “And I don't want normal. I just want real. With you.”
Cal holds your face, making you look at him to underline the severity of the situation.
“If we do this, we’ll be actual fugitives,” he says. “You won’t be able to contact your family or friends for a very long time, maybe never. The Empire will tell them you’re dead. Kidnapped by an Inquisitor and killed.”
“I know.”
“They’ll mourn you.”
“I know, Cal, I know!” you retort, freeing yourself from his hold to grab his hands, holding them over your heart. “This isn’t something I’ve decided on a whim. Remember our little daydream about going on vacation? Ever since then, the thought has been in the back of my mind. I never dared to fully indulge in it, but it’s been there. And now the opportunity has presented itself to go through with it. I’ll make my peace with it.”
Cal sniffles, looking down for a moment, then bringing his gaze back up to yours.
“You’re willing to leave it all behind?”
“Yes,” you say with no hesitation.
“For me?”
You smile fondly. “Yes.” You bring his hands to your mouth and press a quick kiss to his knuckles. “Are you? Not for me, for yourself.”
“For us,” he says, and embraces you, kissing you with urgency.
The rest of the night is spent in hushed voices, coming up with a plan, and kissing each other’s tears away as it starts to sink in that you’re really going through with this.
— — — — —
The next day, you set out to find the two future defectors. Going back to the maintenance hatch, you use two different terminals to send messages like they’ve been doing, setting it up so that they’d think the other person was the one asking to meet them in what was essentially a boiler room.
You can already see the conversation that probably takes place there: the first one saying ‘What did you want to talk about?’, and the second one going ‘I thought you were the one who asked to meet?’ And then you’d make your grand entrance. The thought amuses you, and you have to bite back a slight smile when you approach the door, pressing the button for it to open.
In the small room, you’re met with two technicians, one far older than the other, and they both abruptly stop their conversation to turn and look at you, then at the person behind you. Their faces pale rapidly as they think the worst. Cal and you make your way in and close the door behind you. You see the two swallow visibly.
“Don’t be scared,” you try to reassure them. “You’re not in trouble. We’re here to help.”
Their fear quickly morphs into confusion, so you start explaining how you found out about their messages and that you will be joining them. The only thing you need in exchange for your help is a fall guy, someone to blame for this whole ordeal. You tell them this person will surely be interrogated, maybe tortured, and possibly killed.
The two men talk for a while until they somewhat reluctantly give you a name, your victim. It does sound strangely familiar, so you look them up on your datapad; turns out they were the one to report a possible traitor in the first place. Ah, sweet irony, you smile to yourself.
The three of you start making a plan. Cal just stands in the back, listening. Even through his helmet, the two technicians can feel his sharp gaze, analysing their every move and word. One slip-up and they’ll be cut in half, they know that much. It doesn’t take long for you to come with a full plan of action, settling on a planet in particular to go to, where you’d ditch Cal’s ship and find a different transport. By the time they track it down, you’d be long gone.
Going back to your respective workplaces, you head to your office to forge a copy of a message to claim it’s the backup of the logs on the terminal to incriminate this other person. Meanwhile, Cal fetches the bag with your things that you prepared that morning, which he’ll stash in his ship.
Around noon, you watch your chrono closely, and when the right moment comes, you send in your report and immediately head out to a certain hallway, as planned. The two defectors have set up a malfunction in one of the systems, so that you could fake an injury. Your superiors would think you’re going to the med bay while your victim gets arrested, when in reality you and the other two go to the hangar.
Except that the technician miscalculated the pressure for the pipe to burst and you actually get injured, a piece of shrapnel hitting your thigh. You curse under your breath as you hold your leg, blood slowly trickling around the wound. But there’s no time to actually go get this checked or change your clothes; you have to get to the ship.
You lean back against a wall, your brain desperately trying to come up with a solution, as you can’t exactly walk to the hangar with a bloodstain on your uniform without attracting attention. Right then you hear the sound you’d never thought you’d be relieved to hear: the unmistakable beeping of a mouse droid.
Calling it to you, you’re quick to pick it up from the floor before it can escape, holding it at your side so that it hides your wound. It may look a little stiff to hold the droid like this but at least it covers the dark spot. The droid beeps in distress in your arm, and you shush it, doing your best not to let your limp show as you make your way to the hangar as quickly as you can. A wave of technicians and Troopers head in your direction to check out what caused the noise, but you just keep on walking.
Once you get to the hangar, you see Cal’s ship, ramp lowered. You quickly scan your surroundings, and everyone seems busy with their own thing. So you beeline for the shuttle, where you can see the two technicians in mechanic overalls, feigning to be working on it.
Taking the last couple steps into the cargo hold, you breathe through your teeth, and let yourself fall into one of the seats, mouse droid in your lap. Cal comes out of the cockpit and stops in his tracks at the sight.
”What’s that?” he says, the modulated voice of his helmet crackling.
”A mouse droid?” you offer, giving it a pat, and it beeps in protest.
“I meant that,” Cal clarifies and points at your leg, the fabric now soaked in blood.
“Oh, that,” you grumble. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s just get these people on board and leave. Please.”
Cal only hesitates for a moment before stepping past you and onto the ramp, calling the two technicians' attention and gesturing for them to come on board, then goes back to the cockpit. They pack up their tools and come into the cargo hold where you are, taking a seat across from you. The ramp closes and the engine starts.
From where you sit, you can’t hear what Cal speaks into his comms as an excuse to take off, but they seem to buy it, as the ship takes off and shoots into the atmosphere, soon making the jump to hyperspace. The system you chose as your first goal isn’t all that far away, so you need to take care of your leg quickly.
You look at the mouse droid still in your lap and turn him upside down as you realise that they might be able to track it. It beeps in distress, the wheels rumbling in a high pitch as it tries to get off, but obviously can’t.
”Time for a nap,” you say as you find the off switch and turn the droid off. The little light fades out and the little engine quiets. You look up at the two technicians who have brought the tool boxes with them.
“Check if it has a tracker and destroy it,” you instruct, throwing the little droid over to them. The younger one barely manages to catch it and gets to work.
Cal appears from the cockpit, and walks to you, crouching down at your side and inspecting your leg.
“You need to put something on that, c’mon,” he says, rising to his feet and offering his hand to you, which you take, and he pulls you up until you stand, holding onto him for balance. “How’d that happen anyways?”
“The distraction we planned worked too well, I guess,” you say, not really minding the injury as everything worked out in the end. But Cal freezes on the spot, turning his head to the technicians taking the poor mouse droid apart.
”What’s that supposed to mean?” he questions, glaring daggers at the two men through his helmet, and they flinch at his tone. The older one seems to realise something and turns to the younger one.
”You did take into account the extra pressure from the nearby station, right?” he asks, voice slightly shaky. “The steam from section 56 got redirected because of maintenance, remember?”
”Oh,” is all the younger says, the grimace in his face deepening as he realises he messed up. He doesn’t dare look up at Cal, who crosses the short distance and activates his sabre with a whirr, holding the weapon to his throat and he yelps in defeat, raising his trembling hands, and the droid parts he was holding clatter to the ground.
”Cal!” you call, and he takes off his helmet so that the man can see his face, a deep scowl etched into his features, bruises still visible around his intense eyes. You fear the technician might pass out right then and there.
You stand up with a grunt of effort and hobble over to where he is, placing your hand on his extended arm, eyes pleading.
”Cal, please. No weapons in the ship,” you say, and he reluctantly deactivates his sabre, jaw still tense, his eyes never leaving the poor man’s.
“You got lucky this time,” he finally says with venom in his voice, clipping the weapon to his belt and throwing your arm over his shoulder to help you walk. “If it were up to me, you’d be looking like that droid.”
“Found it,” the older man says suddenly, holding a little cog-like part in his hands, and throwing it on the floor to smash it with his heel. Cal huffs in annoyance and gives the younger one a final glare, then turns around with you in tow to take you to the cockpit.
”Please put the droid back together, it could come in handy later,” you call out to them before the doors close and you’re alone with Cal.
He retrieves your packed bag that he hid in a storage container and gets out a change of clothes for both of you as well as some medical supplies. Neither of you talks as you carefully remove your trousers and pull out the piece of metal still stuck in your thigh. Cal makes quick work of cleaning and patching up the wound. Once that’s taken care of, you both change into your new clothes.
“You were planning to kill them regardless, weren’t you?” you finally ask in a small voice, sitting in the pilot seat. Cal is standing with his back to you, holding his helmet in his hands and looking down at it.
“The less witnesses, the better,” he retorts.
“May I ask you to believe in someone else, just this once?” you ask as you stand up and walk to him, leaning your head on his shoulder. He doesn’t answer, merely grumbles something unintelligible under his breath, still looking at the visor of his helmet in his hands. You give his arm a squeeze and hum, encouraging him to voice his thoughts.
“It’s weird,” he says, placing the helmet with the rest of his armour in a storage box. “I’ve worn this uniform for so long, I’m not sure…who I am without it.”
“You’re Cal Kestis,” you reply matter-of-factly. “Soon to be a free man. What you’ve done in the past does not define your future. And if nothing else…” You turn him to face you, cupping his face, and his hands hold your waist. “If nothing else, you’re mine,” you say, pulling him close for a kiss so tender and loving, Cal forgets how to breathe for a split second. You lean your forehead on his as you whisper, “We’re so close to being free from the Empire. Hang in there just a little longer, and then it’ll be just you and me.”
“It better be,” he chuckles, stealing one more kiss before walking to the panel to open the door and stepping into the cargo hold. Both technicians immediately tense up at his presence. You follow as well with a slight limp, seeing that they also changed into civilian clothes.
“No more slip-ups,” Cal hisses, pointing at the two. They nod enthusiastically. “We’ll be arriving soon. Grab what you need and leave the rest.” Then he goes back into the cockpit.
You nod towards the technician holding the droid. “Does it still work?” you ask as you sit down, stretching out your bad leg with a huff now that the the pain starts settling in.
“It needs to be reprogrammed, but yes,” he answers, looking down at it and back at you. “We were going to sell it for scraps, but… Do you want it?”
You think about it for a moment, and figure that a droid might be a nice addition to your little family. Family. The thought makes you smile.
”Sure,” you say, and the technician brings it over. You keep it in your lap, already planning out what upgrades to give it. It might be a good project for Cal too, to keep him busy in the time to come.
The rest of the trip is spent in silence, the two men don’t even dare talk among themselves.
When Cal announces you’re about to land, it all goes by pretty quickly. You all grab your things, and you use a piece of the cargo net from the ship as a way to hold the droid, throwing it over your shoulder like a sling bag. Taking one last look at the ship, you mentally say goodbye to your old life, and you all walk outside. You landed in the outskirts of a large settlement, since an Imperial shuttle would get too much unwanted attention.
The wound on your leg is starting to make itself noticeable now, so you huff as you try to keep up with the group’s pace through the vegetation, heading for the city centre. Cal notices and turns to you, placing your arm around his shoulders and holding onto your side to carry most of your weight.
”Almost there, just a little further,” he keeps encouraging you under his breath as your energy quickly starts to drain. The two technicians walk ahead, looking around them nervously as you approach more populated areas. Cal tells them to stop acting that way since it’s even more suspicious.
When you finally make it to the port, the two men go to the booth to get their tickets for a transport. You sit on a bench with Cal, catching your breaths. You hear the distinct clinking of his sabre as he fidgets with it underneath his poncho, and you take his hand in yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze. The technicians come back soon after, ready to depart. You stand up with a slight groan to say your goodbyes.
“So this is it,” you say, holding out your hand to them and they shake it.
“Thank you,” the younger one says, looking at you and avoiding Cal’s eyes. “For helping. We couldn’t have done this without you.”
“You’re right, you couldn’t have,” Cal cuts in, taking a step towards the men to speak in a lower volume, but just as menacing. “Which means you owe us. We’ve never met. You never saw us, or my face. But I’ll remember you, and if I ever see either of you again, it’s on sight. So you better hope we never meet again.”
They both gulp and nod their heads.
Don’t worry, you think, they don’t want to see you again, either.
“What he means to say–“ you say, placing a hand on Cal’s chest to push him back a little. “–is good luck out there.”
The men nod, thankful that you’re the one holding back Cal from fulfilling his promise right here and now. You watch the two men for a moment as they take their leave, then you make the necessary arrangements to acquire a transport of your own, in this case an old ship. It’s not great, but it’s cheap, and it’ll do the job.
As Cal pushes the lever to jump to hyperspace and the stars blend into a flurry of lights, you wonder how much longer you’d be able to move undetected before your faces are all over the holonet. A squeak catches your attention; it’s Cal’s seat as he swivels around to face you, sitting next to him.
“So… Now what?” he asks, rubbing his hands on his legs like for the first time ever, he doesn’t know what to do.
“That’s the best part,” you say with a smile, leaning in and placing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Whatever we want.”
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Hi! Could I request a Zeb x Reader where the reader is plus sized, and has a history of being romantically rejected. They have no idea that Zeb returns their feelings, so they don't realize right away that he's flirting. No age gap, please.
PS, I love your previous Zeb x Reader fic....it was such a sweet story ❤️
Doubts
summary: reader catches the eye of a certain Lasat, even if they don’t initially believe him
relationship: Zeb Orrelios x gn!reader
warnings: mentions of alcohol, i don’t drink so idk how bars work lmao
word count: 5.1k
A/N: i‘m glad to hear you liked the other fic!<3 it‘s been a hot minute since i‘ve written for zeb :‘) this one got a little away from me tbh and i really leaned into the plus size aspects, hope that’s okay 😅 (also i couldn’t find any info on how to get in/out of an x-wing starfighter without an external ladder so i improvised). this one is set after the fall of the empire when zeb is in a pilot/trainer for the new republic
[all masterlists] 🪶 [star wars masterlist] 🪶 [ao3]
(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
It’s been an exhausting week at work and your favourite bar is closed for renovations, so you decided to try one a coworker recommended. She was supposed to come with you, but ended up bailing on you to go on a surprise weekend retreat with her boyfriend. Of course you’re happy for her, but you can’t help feeling jealous. The last years, or decades really, you haven’t had any luck in your relationships. You’ve always been on the heavier side, but lately it feels like your physique and your age might as well be a repellent by how many ‘no’s you’ve heard.
Pondering what you’ll have at home for dinner, you let your thoughts wander. You’re pulled back to reality when someone walks into the bar, taking a seat at the other end, and he immediately catches your attention. It’s been a while since you’ve last seen a Lasat, and this one is certainly easy on the eyes. The way he carries himself is different from your average Coruscanti inhabitant. He has a “been there, done that” air, like nothing could bother him, and you find yourself intrigued.
From where you sit, you shoot glances at him every so often between nursing your drink. At some point, he catches you staring and smiles back at you, and you look away, flustered. He doesn’t seem completely taken aback though, and you consider going over to him, but a group suddenly arrives and they all gather around him, laughing and talking.
Of course he‘s not alone, you think, swirling your drink in the glass. Besides, it’s not like he would have accepted a drink or a chat if you went up to him anyways. You sigh into your glass. When you look back up again, he’s gone.
After finishing your drink, you set some credits on the bar and head home. On your way back, you watch your reflected image on a storefront, grimacing at what you see. Maybe if you were thinner, you’d be more confident to ask a handsome stranger for a chat, to pay for a drink. Maybe they’d even buy you a drink for a change.
You go to that same bar a couple more times in the following weeks, telling yourself you’re waiting for renovations at your usual place to end, but deep inside you know you’re hoping to meet the Lasat again. Unfortunately, there’s no trace of him. Makes sense, it’s Coruscant after all. Just how many people pass through every day? It’s a number you can’t even grasp. Worst of all, the amount of times you’ve been rejected is also so large already that you’ve long stopped counting. And in the last few years you’ve stopped trying to initiate, too.
As time goes by, you start to forget him. One day you’re at work, at one of the bigger news outlets, the Daily Kloo Horn. There’s a new photographer on the team, a young Rodian. She’s hard working and polite, and as the art director, you’ve been showing her the ropes on her first days. She knocks and walks into your office.
“You know that article about the New Republic Starfighter Corps?” she asks.
“Yes?” You look up from your station and see how she’s fidgeting with her lanyard.
“Well, they’re here. Can you… Can you come with me? I’m a little nervous.”
“Of course,” you say with a smile. She sighs in visible relief.
The two of you head down to the lobby, where you expect to find the human pilot they’re interviewing. Trapper Wolf, if you remember correctly. What you did not expect, however, is for him to come accompanied: the Lasat from the bar is standing next to him, chatting with Wolf. And he’s wearing the same uniform as the pilot, but blue instead of orange. When you make eye contact, you smile politely, and he seems to perk up at your sight. Maybe he recognises you, too? The thought makes your heart jump a little.
The journalist that will be conducting the interview arrives as well. They walk ahead and introduce themselves to the two, and thank Wolf for coming. You stay a little further back with the Rodian until the interviewer turns around and waves her to them. You give her a double thumbs up and she gives a weak laugh, then follows the other two to one of the conference rooms.
You stand where you are for a second, weighing in your mind whether to greet the Lasat, who also stayed back. The thought that he might actually not recognise you hovers in your mind, that you’re once again drowning in your own delusions. But he makes that choice for you, walking up to you.
“Hey, fancy meeting you here,” he says. His voice is deep and rich, without being raspy.
“I could say the same to you,” you reply with a polite smile. You let your eyes roam the lobby, no one seems to be paying attention to you two. “The interview might take a while. There is a caf shop nearby if you’d like to wait for Mr. Wolf. They have excellent cake there.”
“Yeah? Anything in particular you’d recommend?”
“Hmm.” You think it over for a moment. “Oh, they have a meiloorun tart that is heavenly.”
“I love meilooruns.” You miss the way his eyes roam up and down your body as you start counting on your fingers.
“They also have a Jogan fruitcake that’s pretty popular. Oh, and there’s this one layered cake with three different types of chocolates, and–” You stop yourself, looking away. This really isn’t the time to ramble, much less about food. He’ll think you spend your day eating cake and drinking at night. Hiding behind a mask of professionalism, a practiced smile settles on your lips. “What I mean to say is that there’s plenty of choices.” You take a step to the side to point at the street, gesturing as you speak. “You’ll want to go to your left here and walk up to the crossing, then turn right.” He listens attentively. “It has a green and yellow sign, you can’t miss it.”
“Green and yellow, got it.” He looks to where you just showed him, then turns back to you. His mouth opens like he wants to add something, but he hesitates a second too long.
“Alright then, I should head back,” you excuse yourself.
“Ah, okay.” He seems a bit surprised.
You give him a small wave and he waves back, looking a bit lost.
As you cross the door into your office you realise you never even asked for his name. With a sigh you plop down onto your chair, wishing you’d had the confidence to ask him out for a drink after work. What even were the chances of meeting him again, at your workplace of all things? Surely there’s no way you’ll get another shot.
The next morning, you go to work as usual. You don’t even get to set down your bag in your office before there’s a ping of your desk comms. You check the channel; it’s the reception.
“Hello?” you pick up, somewhat confused as to why they’d be calling you.
“There’s a gentleman here asking for you,” the receptionist says, and your confusion deepens. There’s some unintelligible exchange with a deeper voice. “He says it’s Zeb from the Starfighter Corps. He was here yesterday?”
You gasp in surprise, looking down at yourself, and inwardly groan at having chosen a rather plain outfit today.
“Are you coming or can I send him up?” they ask, then add in a lower voice, “Or should I send him away?”
“No, no, I’ll be there in a minute,” you’re quick to answer. “Thank you.”
You make your way to the lift, checking yourself in the mirrored wall to see that everything looks good. With a slight scrunch of your nose as you look at your reflection, you smooth over your stomach several times, your confidence faltering with every second that passes, so you tear your gaze from your image; it's too late to turn back now. You’ll just say hi and hear him out, he probably has questions regarding yesterday.
When you make it to the lobby, you see the Lasat leaning on a column, again in his uniform. You find yourself checking him out a bit before he sees you, deciding he looks good in it. When he spots you, he straightens up, smiling at you. You notice he’s holding something behind his back.
“Hello again,” you greet him.
“Hi, uhm.” He sheepishly scratches his beard. “I hope I’m not interrupting a work meeting or something.”
“Actually I just got here earlier, so it’s all good. What can I do for you?”
“I went to the place you told me about yesterday.” He brings his hidden hand forward, and you recognise the logo on the bag. “And you were right. The cake was really good. So I went again today and thought I’d bring you a slice, too.”
“Oh.” You feel heat rising to your cheeks, but quickly dismiss any ideas you’re getting as him just being nice. “Thank you.” You take the bag and peek in, the tart looks delicious as always. “I also forgot to ask your name yesterday.”
You introduce yourself, showing him the ID on your lanyard.
“Art director, huh,” he reads out loud, then looks back up to you. “I’m Garazeb Orrelios, but you can call me Zeb.”
“Nice to finally make your acquaintance, Zeb. And thank you for the cake.” Other people in the lobby are starting to stare, and you shift uncomfortably. “Was there anything else? I really should get going…”
“Right.” He adjusts one of the straps on his uniform. “My team will be on Coruscant for a few more days. I was wondering if you’d like to grab a drink at that bar from last time, today or tomorrow?”
“Oh,” you exclaim again. You were not expecting that. You wonder why he’d invite you out. “I might have to stay a little later today for a project, but I should be able to make it at around eight? Or is that too late?”
“Eight works for me.” He clasps his hands together. “And sorry for dropping by unannounced. See you tonight then.”
“See you tonight,” you reply with a smile, and wave at him the same way you did yesterday as he leaves the building.
You turn around, a million questions in your mind. The receptionist, who followed the whole exchange, shoots you a look with wiggling eyebrows. You playfully roll your eyes at them. Surely there must be some perfectly logical explanation for this encounter.
When you make it back to your office for a second time that day, you sit down and unpack the meiloorun tart. It looks great, and tastes even better. You savour every bite as you read through some documents, humming a little tune to yourself.
The day goes by pretty quickly despite being packed. Your last meeting ends up being longer than anticipated, and when you finally make it out, it’s almost eight. You curse under your breath as you pack your things, hurrying out to hail an air taxi. By the time you make it to the bar, you’re slightly out of breath, hungry, and a bit sweaty. You enter the place, the dim light and smell of spotchka surrounding you, and for a moment, you consider bailing. But then you spot Zeb in one of the booths, waving at you, and there’s a slight flutter in your gut.
You head to the Lasat and take a seat across from him, readjusting your clothes maybe one time too many, catching his attention for a second.
“Hi,” you say finally.
“Hey.” He clears his throat as he shifts in his seat, straightening up slightly. “Glad you made it.”
“Sorry about that, the meeting ran longer than expected.”
“No worries, you’re here now.” He waves a waiter over. “What would you like? My treat.”
“Oh, that’s really not necessary, but thank you,” you refuse politely, and he looks slightly confused. You give the waiter your drink order and so does Zeb. “So, what did you want to talk about?” you ask once it’s just the two of you again. He blinks at you.
“What do you mean?”
“My guess is you had questions regarding the interview with your colleague?”
Zeb chuckles, unsure at first, but then a bit fuller when he sees your confused face. “Is that what you think this is?”
“What else could it be…?”
He runs a hand over his face with a groan, slumping forward. “I asked you out. For drinks.”
“Yes?”
“I was hoping this could be, you know…” He leans in and makes a vague gesture with his hand, not wanting to finish his sentence, but you keep looking at him quizzically, and he finally sighs. “You know… a date?”
“Oh,” you say first, leaning back as you think it over. “Oh.” That would explain why he’d bring you cake to your work place and offer to pay for drinks, but it still doesn’t make sense, not really. “Are you sure?” you ask after a moment.
He chuckles. “Yes? I’m pretty sure I am.”
You look down at your hands in your lap, the way your thighs touch in the middle, your stomach rolls evident over your waistband, how you take up more space on the seat than is probably the norm for a single person. “Why?” you ask in a small voice, without looking up.
Zeb’s brow rises in surprise. Did he need a reason? “I just… I just saw you that one time and you caught my eye, so I wanted to see you again.” Heat prickles on your cheeks but you don’t believe him quite yet. He laughs a bit under his breath. “The truth is, you were still wearing your lanyard that time and I recognised the logo. So when Wolf said he had an interview at the Daily Kloo Horn, I tagged along, hoping to see you again.”
You look up at him, a small smile on your lips that doesn’t meet your eyes. “Well, I’m flattered, but…”
The waiter appears suddenly, placing your respective drinks in front of you, and a little bowl of nuts and crackers in the middle, then leaves again.
“Listen, if I’m not your type, I get it, we can just have one drink and then I’ll be out of your hair.”
“That’s not it,” you’re quick to interject, picking at your nails. “I just don’t want you to be disappointed later on.”
“About what?”
“Because, you know. I’m… I look… like this.” You gesture down towards yourself and his eyes follow your torso to where he can see, then back up.
“Like what? Hot?” he says, completely serious. Your eyes go as big as dinner plates for a second and you open your mouth to say something but close it again. You look down at your drink and bring your hands around the glass, not knowing how to answer that. He leans back in his seat, giving you a grin. “I already told you that you caught my eye. And I like what I’m seeing. Otherwise I wouldn’t have asked you here.”
You swallow, daring to look up at him. You still don’t believe him, even though you really want to. Besides, you know that he also caught your eye, so maybe there’s potential here after all. Some of your past relationships ended because your partner would be okay with (or rather, tolerate) your weight at the start, but at some point expected you to get thinner, like you were some long term project. And when you didn’t change for them, they’d leave you. So him calling you hot from the get-go is…. new.
You take a sip of your drink and lick your lips, it’s tasty. After taking a deep breath you bring your eyes back to his. “It’s a date then,” you say, voice still a little shakier than you’d like.
“Good,” he says and takes a sip from his own drink.
A conversation starts, a bit awkward at first, but you quickly fall into a comfortable dynamic. You learn that he trains pilots for the Starfighter Corps, and he’s currently on Coruscant to check on a new group at the Academy. You tell him about yourself as well, about where you grew up and how you ended up at your job. Time goes by fast, and after several rounds of drinks, you decide to call it a night.
Once you’re outside, you take a deep breath of the cool night air.
“Do you live nearby? I’ll walk you home,” he offers.
“Actually, it’s on the other side of the district, about right… there.” You close an eye and point at a distant point on the city landscape.
“Then I’ll fly you.”
“Oh, you really don’t need to,” you say, shaking your hands in front of you. “I can just get a taxi.”
“Have you ever flown in an X-Wing before?” he asks, arms crossed over his chest, a smug grin on his face.
“You know I haven’t,” you laugh.
“Let’s go then.” Zeb doesn’t wait for your answer and takes your hand, guiding you towards a nearby landing pad. Once more you feel the heat on your face as you look down at your hand in his much larger one.
When you spot his ship, you stop a moment to admire it, recognising the signature shape from the images of fights against the Imperial TIE fighters. You walk up to where he’s waiting for you after opening the cockpit, a retractable ladder hanging from the side. He extends his hand and you take it, and he helps you get into the back seat. Then he climbs in himself. After pulling the ladder back inside, the dome closes with a click and a hiss.
“Be sure to buckle up,” Zeb instructs, and you do so. You keep your bag in your lap, hugging it to your chest, not wanting to press any buttons by mistake. As he takes off, he asks where to, and you give him directions to the nearest landing pad to your home.
The trip is short, but exciting nonetheless. Despite the slow speed, you can feel the ship’s power as it cruises low over the city. The lights from below reflect on the concave transparisteel, creating a blur of reds and yellows. Sitting here behind Zeb, you realise how safe you feel, and there’s a sudden wave of sleepiness that overcomes you, but you fight it.
After landing, he gets out first with practiced ease. It takes you a little longer to figure out where to step. Once he’s on the ground, he makes sure you’re taking the ladder one step at the time. You reach the last rung and jump off, but it’s still higher than anticipated, and you feel yourself falling backwards. A pair of strong arms catch you mid-air, setting you down onto the floor gently.
“Whoa there, you okay?” he asks, and you feel your skin tingle from how easily he caught you.
“Yeah, thank you.” You readjust your jacket. “Guess I’m not built for X-Wings after all.”
“Usually there’s a proper stair to get in and out,” he explains as he locks the ship. “That is the emergency ladder, sort of. But you did great.”
“Ah, that makes sense.”
You wait for him to reach you and you start walking towards your apartment, in comfortable silence at first, but then an image pops into your mind; X-Wings vs. TIE fighters.
“You mentioned earlier that you used to be part of a crew in Imperial times,” you start, recalling what he told you over drinks. “Have you ever fought TIE fighters?” You realise it might be a sensitive question but you look up at him expectantly anyways.
“Heh, did I,” he chuckles, a fond warmth in his face as he thinks back to his former crew. Then he looks down at you like he’s about to tell you a secret, leaning in slightly. “You remember the Battle of Endor?”
“Of course I do.” It’s only been a few years, but you’re sure it’s still pretty fresh in the collective memory of the galaxy.
“We were there,” he confesses, and you gasp in surprise.
“No way.” You look ahead, imagining what it must have been like to fight the Empire head on. “That’s so cool.”
He shrugs. “We just did what needed to be done.”
You counter with an incredulous huff. “And yet you’re choosing to spend time with me? Despite being such an adventurer?” You turn a corner, but he takes a hold of your arm to stop you and turn you around towards him.
“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” he retorts, a serious look on his face. “I’ve seen your name before on the holonet. You’ve also been there when the lies of the Empire were uncovered.”
“But our editors chose those topics. We were just doing our jobs. And we were here on Coruscant, in the comfort of our houses. It’s not like I was out there actively stopping the Empire, not like you.”
“Trust me, every little action is important. More happened behind the curtains than we’ll ever know about, and no one can take credit for it. Doesn’t mean it didn’t happen or that people weren’t helping,” he says, and you believe him. He looks down at his hand still on your arm, and retracts it. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay…” You slowly turn and continue walking with him at your side. You don’t make it much further when you come to a stop. “This is me,” you say, pointing to a building entrance. You fidget with the hem of your jacket, not really wanting to say goodbye yet. Gathering whatever courage you can muster, you add, “I don’t normally do this after the first date, but… Do you want to come in for a little longer?”
Zeb looks surprised, but not opposed to the idea. “You’re sure?”
“Yeah, you know…” You give a small shrug. “I’m having a good time.”
He smiles. “So am I.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” you say with a smile of your own and head to the door, unlocking it.
The lift is on the lobby level so you both get in and you press the button to your floor. The doors close and you feel the pull upwards. Now that it’s just the two of you in a relatively small space, you can hear your heart hammering in your ears. Sneaking glance to the side, you can feel the warmth rolling off of him in waves. He’s so tall and big, and the way he caught you earlier, like you weigh nothing… You clear your throat, looking at the floor number on the little screen, begging for the lift to be faster.
When you finally make it, there’s a ping and the doors open. You get out first, walking down the hallway until you reach your apartment. Zeb visibly looks away when you type in the code, and follows you inside.
“Sorry about the mess,” you say after leaving your jacket and bag by the door, then quickly collect some empty cups from the caf table. “Please, take a seat. I’ll make us some tea.”
Zeb walks further into the living room, curiously checking the room. He lets his eyes roam the place, full of artful decorations, frames on the wall, and little knickknacks on every shelf.
“Somehow this place feels very you,” he says as he stands by the large window overlooking this side of the district. “I didn’t know being an art director paid this well. It’s quite the view from up here.”
“The pay is good, but not that good,” you laugh as you come from the kitchen with two steaming mugs. “This used to be my parents’ place, I don’t think I could afford this neighbourhood.”
Zeb takes the mug and sits down next to you on the couch, the only light in the room from the small wall lamps and the city outside, painting the room in a dim golden hue.
“After my siblings and I moved out to study they wanted to get a smaller place,” you continue explaining. “So they bought this apartment. After I got my degree, I stayed here while they travelled.” You end up telling him a little more about your childhood and your family when he asks about it. “As you can see, my life is pretty boring,” you conclude your retelling with a chuckle.
“Ah, there are days I crave boring.” Zeb shakes his head with a dramatic sigh, continuing to sip his tea.
“I’m sure it’s physically demanding but it also must be very rewarding to train the new generation, is it not?”
He smiles, looking out into the city. “Yeah, it is.” Then he looks back at you. “After the Battle of Endor I considered retiring. But after a little break, I felt like there was still so much to do… When Hera called, I answered.”
You almost choke on your tea at the mention of that name. “Hera?”
“Oh, yeah, the crew I told you about back in the day? It was hers.”
You blink at him, mouth agape, setting down your mug. “Hera as in General Hera Syndulla? Legendary pilot and hero?”
“The one and only,” he says with a grin, lifting his mug as if toasting to her.
“Zeb!” You give him a playful shove. “That’s incredible.”
“You wanna meet her?” he asks slyly, leaning back into the couch.
“Of course!” you respond enthusiastically. “And not just for work. Oh, I can already see her picture on the first page,” you start fantasising about an exclusive interview, but shake your head. “No, no, more importantly, I’d love to meet her just for myself. I’m a fan.”
“I’ll give her a call,” he says as if it’s no big deal, but you can tell he’s pleased with having something to impress you. After downing the last of the tea, he sets the mug down as well and extends his arm on the backrest behind you, a smug grin on his lips.
“What?” you chuckle, getting flustered from his intense gaze.
“You just fell a little for me, didn't you?”
“Oh, quiet you,” you say with no bark whatsoever, and there’s a comfortable silence for a moment. Things are going well, so you lean your head against Zeb’s chest, and his arm goes around your shoulders to hold you there. His hand gives your upper arm a gentle squeeze, and your insecurities rain back down on you when you feel the contrast of his strength against your squishy self, so you pull back.
“I’ve had a really good time tonight, Zeb,” you start, pulling back from him. He tilts his head at you.
“That sounds like there’s a ‘but’ coming.”
“But… I just want to make sure you’re really okay with this, with… Me.”
“I already told you I liked you when I saw you, and after today, I’m very sure.” You avert your gaze, but his free hand comes to your chin and makes you look back at him. “That’s the second time you’ve said that today. What is it, really?”
You scoff lightly, pushing his hand away. Is he really making you say it out loud?
“I’m big, Zeb. Heavy,” you admit, unable to look him in the eyes. “And that has been a problem in the past, so I just want to get it out of the way from the start instead of getting my hopes up–”
“That’s it?” he interjects, and for a second you can feel anger bubbling up at him dismissing you when you’re being vulnerable. But before you can say anything, he stands up and extends his hand to you. Confused, you reach out and take it. Zeb leans in and pulls your arm over his head, using his other arm to hoist you up over his shoulder and you shriek in surprise, to which he snickers. Carrying you like that, he spins once, walks to the kitchen and sets you down onto the counter, standing between your legs, with one hand on either side of your hips.
“See? Not an issue,” he says with confidence, and you feel like you’ll melt into a puddle right then and there.” Whoever made it a problem in the past was the problem.”
You lean forward until your forehead rests on his chest. “I might have fallen a little for you right now,” you mutter, mirroring his words from earlier, and he laughs.
“Good.” Zeb leans back slightly and brings his hands to the outside of your thighs.” That was the idea.”
You look up at him and bring your hands to his chest. “How long will you be staying on Coruscant?”
“Until the end of the week.”
“Where are you going after?” you ask, fidgeting with the straps and pockets of his uniform.
“Hosnian Prime, mostly. But I might get sent out somewhere else on short notice. It’s how it usually goes.”
You heave a sigh. “I’ve never been a fan of long distance.” You realise what you’re saying and add, “I mean, if you want to actually give this a try, that is. Or maybe I’m just getting way ahead of myself–”
“I do want to try,” he assures you. “I’d love to stay here.” His face saddens a bit, ears drooping ever so slightly. “But I probably should get going now.”
“Right, it’s late.”
At first neither of you moves though. With your hands still on his chest, you pull him down to you and place a quick kiss to his cheek. A proud little “heh” escapes him, and he steps back so you can slide off the counter.
“Give me your comlink, I’ll add my number,” you say. He hands it to you and you type in your channel frequency. “Call me next time you’re around?”
“I promise.” After pinging your own comlink so you would have his number too, you hand him back the device. As he pockets it away, he leans down and kisses the top of your head. “And next time, I’ll take you out on a proper ride on the X-Wing.”
“Can’t wait,” you say as you look up at him with a beaming smile, taking his hand in both of yours and giving it a squeeze.
You walk Zeb to your door and say your goodbyes. After the door closes, your heart beats against your rib cage, threatening to leap out, overfilled with hope and promises.
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A/N2: the daily bugle, the daily kloo horn… haha get it? please tell me im funny :(
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🐥 taglist: [link to join in my pinned post!] @dybynyght, @galaxtic-writings, @soka-writes-things, @padawancat97, @padawan-solimar, @batboysandgirls, @braveangel777
i've been wondering for a while if i should compile a WIP list, mainly so i don't forget what i'm working on (i've forgotten about started drafts so many times.....), but also to share what i'm working on with you, so you can look forward to whatever is coming out next c:
would you be interested in seeing a WIP list?
yes!
nope!
either is fine
with the WIP list, you'd be welcome to send in asks about progress of a certain fic. or you could see an unexpected character there that you didn't know i write for, and then you can send in another request for them 👀
the results are in! thank you so much for voting :D it was an almost unanimous "yes" which was a pleasant surprise ngl so without further ado 🥁🥁🥁 here you go \o/
check out my WIP list here! the progress column has its own colour coding key on the far right. the column "trope/theme" is blank if i can't think of a short way to summarise, or if i don't want to spoil too much. and "working on" marks which fics i have actively been working on in the last few weeks.
i'm adding this link to my pinned post as well. i'll do my best to keep it updated 🫡 and as i've said before, feel free to ask about them c:
i've been wondering for a while if i should compile a WIP list, mainly so i don't forget what i'm working on (i've forgotten about started drafts so many times.....), but also to share what i'm working on with you, so you can look forward to whatever is coming out next c:
would you be interested in seeing a WIP list?
yes!
nope!
either is fine
with the WIP list, you'd be welcome to send in asks about progress of a certain fic. or you could see an unexpected character there that you didn't know i write for, and then you can send in another request for them 👀
How do you do it?
summary: a shy reader starts their internship at OSCORP and meets their total opposite.
relationship: Amadeus Cho x gn!shy!reader
warnings: none, fluff and banter lol
word count: 2.3k
A/N: this was requested by @poppytheairbender13 last year, hope you’re still around :’) i only recently stumbled over this fic again, which was in my wips for almost a year and i have no idea why i never posted it! i really liked amadeus in YFNSM so i’m hoping this will find the right people lol
[all masterlists] 🪶 [marvel masterlist] 🪶 [ao3]
(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
It’s the first day of your internship at OSCORP. You get your picture taken for your badge at the reception desk and walk around it to press the button to call an elevator.
You’re nervous, fidgeting with the lanyard hanging from your neck. After the whole application process was over, you thought you’d ease up, but actually being here is more nerve-wracking than you thought. You promised yourself to make an effort this time and try to talk to people, get their names (and remember them) and just be more social in general.
There’s a ding from the elevator when it arrives, and you get in. Just as it’s about to close, someone calls out for you to hold it, so you block the door with your hand, making it open again. A young woman walks in slightly out of breath, like she ran all the way here. She huffs a laugh and thanks you. As the doors close again, fully this time, she introduces herself as Asha, holding out her hand. You quickly press the floor you were told earlier and shake her hand. You notice the accent and recognise it; Wakanda. She takes a peek at your badge.
“You’re here for the internship as well?” she asks.
“Yeah, you too?”
“Yep!” she says with a giant smile, which you mirror, but less intensely.
Your eyes go to her wrist where you can see a chunky bracelet. You don't say anything but your glance doesn't escape her.
“They’re Komoyo beads,” she explains. You’ve heard of them, of Wakandan technology, but never saw them up close. “Have you ever held one?”
“Can’t say I’ve had the chance,” you respond, and she shows you the bracelet, visibly enjoying your curiosity as you gingerly take in your hands and inspect it carefully. She talks about the scientific and engineering applications that they can be used for.
You’re so focused on the bracelet and what she's telling you that when the elevator arrives and the doors open, you just walk side by side without really looking. After only a couple of steps into the hallway, you walk into someone, bumping into their back.
The bracelet almsot falls, but you catch it, and give it back to Asha as you apologise to whomever you just bumped into. The person looks over their shoulder with a somewhat annoyed grimace, but when his eyes find yours, his face relaxes a bit.
“I-I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” you apologise.
“That’s okay…” His eyes drift to your badge as he turns to fully face you and you do the same. He reads your name aloud, and you straighten up slightly at it; somewhere in your mind it registers that you like how it sounds.
“Amadeus Cho,” you mirror his action by reading his badge, where you also see that he’s another intern like you and Asha. He holds out his hand for you to shake. You take his hand and see a pair of eyes peek at you from behind him; Amadeus was talking to someone when you bumped into him, and you rudely interrupted! You're quick to let go of his hand and excuse yourself, making your way to the lab.
Once there, you're each handed a labcoat and instructed to wait for an instructor. You take a seat at the front, Amadeus soon joining, sitting on the table next to yours. Aha sits behind him, and another woman takes a seat behind you. Turning in your seat to get a better look, you realise this is who Amadeus was talking to before. And you just walked away earlier without saying hello! You face the front again, bringing your hands up to your face. So much for trying to make acquaintances with your team.
“Sooo, where are you all from?” Asha asks, and you're grateful for her easing the awkwardness in the air.
One by one everyone introduces themselves, saying their names and where they’re from, and a bit about their school background. Except for Jeanne, the one sitting behind you; she keeps it short.
When it’s your turn, you do your best to add some interesting fun fact about yourself, but your mind goes blank, so you just end with a small “Nice to meet you all”.
As you turn in your chair, your eyes land on Amadeus for a moment, and you notice he’s looking at you, face unreadable. His eyes linger for a moment too long and you immediately look away, clearing your throat. You don’t see him open his mouth to say something when someone comes stumbling into the lab, the last intern.
He introduces himself as Peter from Queens, and you think he looks familiar, but you can't place from where.
A man with a slightly hunched back, red hair and a sour look on his face walks in, and immediately tells you all off. He introduces himself as Dr. Wittman, your overseer. You inwardly huff, great.
All interns get some basic tasks to do which takes up most of the afternoon, and after that you get assigned to a team. You hoped to get assigned to robotics, but Amadeus got the spot. You can't help a slight pout as he walks by to leave the room with his new supervisor, a smug grin on his face.
When you get picked up by a resident scientist, you make your way to their lab and work on whatever they have you do. While it isn't your first choice, you quickly find out that you like this field, and you're not only a quick learner but a thorough worker too, so your supervisor is very happy with having you on their team.
The next couple of days go by fairly quickly; you have your part-time job in the morning and the internship in the afternoon, and your mind is on the project, constantly thinking about ways to improve your design or how to troubleshoot the obstacles you encounter. The only other thoughts that interrupt your focus are the occasional image of Amadeus popping up here and there.
While you're on different teams and as such don't spend that much time together while working, you do meet with him and the rest of the group in the break room, and sometimes in the warehouse when retrieving materials.
And specifically what pops up in your mind's eye again and again is his stupid face, lopsided grin on his lips as he shoots you a smug look, trying to get a reaction out of you. You have no idea why he keeps doing it, but whenever you're around, his attention is on you. Be it actually asking you questions, just boasting about his own project or abilities, or to tease you. Which he seems to love doing.
After having some food in the cafeteria, you walk into the break room with the rest of the interns (minus Peter who excused himself earlier with a hurried explanation that made no sense and took off) and take a seat on the couch. Someone grabs a hold of the remote to turn on the TV and starts switching channels, looking for something to watch. By now you all sort of have your ‘assigned’ seats that you always sit in, so it’s no surprise to you that Amadeus takes a seat next to you, as he’s been doing from the start. It does startle you however, when he scoots closer to you and stretches his arm along your shoulders on the backrest of the couch.
Involuntarily, you go slightly stiff, your hands clasped on your lap as you can feel the heat rise to your face. It's not like you want to swat him away; you don't dislike his attention. In fact you'd be lying if you said you weren’t enjoying it, even. He’s just so confident, maybe a little too much so, as he can get cocky and a bit aggressive in his choice of words, but you still admire him for his ability to just say whatever’s on his mind and act self-assuredly. Maybe you even envy him a little. Is that why you let him get this close, hoping it'll rub off on you and help you get out of your shell more?
You're so deep in your own thoughts that you don't hear your name being called several times. You only react when there's a slight tap on your arm from Asha, sitting on the armchair next to you. She looks at you with a slightly worried scrunch of her brows, asking if you're okay.
“Y-Yes, I’m fine,” you say, looking up at the TV.
“Maybe you should ease up on the flirtations a bit,” Asha remarks to Amadeus, who gasps offendedly.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he retorts.
“It means you're coming off way too strong and our dear colleague here is terrified,” Jeanne points out without looking up from her phone. Cursing under her breath, she suddenly stands up. “Gotta go,” is all she says without looking at any of you before heading out. She's always running off somewhere.
Now it's just the three of you.
“You’re not actually scared of me, are you?” Amadeus asks with a chuckle and a slight squeeze of his arm around you, but at your lack of reaction, his laugh dies down quickly and you feel him shift in his seat.
Of course it's not that you're scared of him, not in real fear anyways. it's more so being intimidated by his directness, again with the slightest tinge of envy in your heart. But having their full attention on you right now is throwing you off, and you can't help but sit there frozen like a deer in headlights. Meanwhile you're scolding yourself mentally to finally say something.
Asha leans down to find your eyes, now she's really concerned.
“I’m fine, really,” you manage to finally talk. “I’m just… having a hard time finding the right words.”
“Hmm, then maybe you two should talk it out?” Asha gives you one last meaningful look, asking if it's okay to leave you alone with him as she motions to stand up. You give her a nod and a grateful smile; talking one on one is way easier than in a group. With a relieved smile, she fully stands up and starts walking out of the breakroom backwards, mouthing “gentle” to Amadeus as he watches her leave.
You two sit in silence for a moment, your brain reeling.
“Sooo, what was that about?” he asks and visibly relaxes against the couch, but his arm is still on the backrest, a respectful distance away from your shoulders.
“I’m not scared of you,” you start, your eyes focused on your fidgeting hands in your lap. “If I was, I would have spoken up sooner.”
“You know I mean no harm, right? I like teasing you, but if you're that uncomfortable, I'll stop–”
"That's not it,” you cut him short.
“Then what is it?”
You take a deep breath, cheeks and ears burning.
“I’m just not used to this. I'm no good at banter and… flirting.”
“Oh, so you did notice.” You can hear the smile in his voice, and you can't help but chuckle, also starting to relax back into the cushions.
“I’m not that oblivious,” you remark, finally daring to bring your gaze up to his, where you’re met with surprisingly kind eyes.
“So what now? Do you want me to back off?”
You purse your lips and slowly shake your head.
“Good, wasn't planning on stopping anyways.”
You shake your head in amusement this time with a playful roll of your eyes, and look back ahead to the TV.
“How do you do that?” you ask.
“Do what?”
“Just… say what you think, and do what you want, so easily.”
Amadeus gives a light shrug, his arm coming back down properly onto your shoulders and pulling you into him ever so gently.
“Dunno, I just go for it when I see something I want.”
“Don’t tell me, were you one of those kids who never got told no?”
“See? You do know how to banter.” You both laugh, but then he brings his free hand up to point at you accusingly. “But I’ll have you know, I was a wonderful kid and not a brat.”
You hum and bring your fingertips to your chin like you're thinking.
“That sounds a lot like something a brat would say.”
“Why, you–” His pokes into your side and you squeal in surprise, face now definitely burning up.
“Don’t– Please don't tickle me,” you say in a small voice, bringing your hands up to cover your face.
“Alright, I won't.” He leans back again, keeping his word.
There's a beat of silence, and your hands drop below your eyes so you can look at him, and find him watching you with an amused smile on his lips.
“What?” you ask through your splayed fingers.
“Nothing.” He leans in and whispers, “You’re cute.”
“Huh?!”
Amadeus stands up and stretches his arms over his head with a grunt, then looks at his watch.
“We should get going.”
He holds out his hand towards you, and after hesitating for a second, you take it and let him pull you up. He doesn't let go just yet though.
“Are you free tomorrow night?” he asks, standing in front of you, leaning in slightly.
“I think so, why?” You can’t hold his gaze.
“Come to dinner with me.”
Your eyes snap back to his.
“Like a date?”
“Duh,” he says with a shrug, as if it was obvious.
“...Okay,” you agree.
“Cool,” is all he says with his boyish grin that makes your heart flutter. And as if that wasn’t enough, he gives your hand a squeeze and winks at you, then walks past you back to the hallway. You need a moment to compose yourself, bringing your hands up to pinch your cheeks. Nope, you're not dreaming, this is real.
You quickly turn off the TV and head out as well, heart still racing, and look for Asha, as you have news that she’ll probably want to hear.
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(banner: edited image from IGN)
Can I get some Rottmnt Leo angst?? 🙏🙏🙏
Reunited
summary: Leonardo and reader meet up again in the apocalypse after a very long time, both with different versions of what happened between them.
relationship: Rise!Leo x gn!reader
warnings: angst & comfort, mentions of character deaths (yes it still hurts), kissing
word count: 4.9k
A/N: it feels like it’s been a million years since i last wrote some good angst, and i don’t know how well i did with this one, but i hope you’ll like it!! Leo my beloved how i’ve missed you :’)
[all masterlists] 🪶 [rottmnt masterlist] 🪶 [ao3]
(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Leo sits back against the run down wall with a sigh, looking up at the sky.
For some reason, lately he’s been thinking about you. Back at the age of 16, he would have confessed his feelings to you if given the chance, but your family moved across the country rather suddenly. And only days after you left, the Krang arrived on Earth and the apocalypse began.
Sometimes, he’d blame you for it. Had it not been for his heart ache, he wouldn't have been so distracted, and maybe he could have stopped the Krang. But deep inside he knew it was his own fault. Even when everyone else said it wasn't. He knew it was true. His own arrogance cost not only him but all of humanity a bitter, bitter price.
As the leader of the rebellion, Leo tried his best to be present for the people and focused during the fights against their purple enemy. But in moments where he found himself alone, like right now, memories would resurface. Memories of his brothers, his dad, April, and…. you. His first instinct would be to be mad, trying to push the memory back. The heartache and hurt of you leaving him behind crashing over him like a wave. But he'd take a deep breath and let it wash over him. He knows it wasn't your fault. That you didn't really have a choice. That you never meant to hurt him.
Leo looks up at the dark, ashy sky and takes a deep breath. As much as he regrets bringing doom onto the planet, he might regret never telling you how he felt just a little more. If only he could turn back time and get another chance…
With your memory fresh in his mind, reliving all the laughs and stolen glances between you two so many years ago, he steps into the building and heads for his room, tiredly climbing into his cot. Warmth spreads in his chest and he can't help the scoff at himself as he settles into the thin mattress. Despite it hurting like scratching at a scab and never letting the scar heal, even after all this time, he clings to the memory of you. And with your smiling face still intact in his mind, he falls asleep.
The next morning, a group reports to him that someone new arrived: a survivor from not only beyond the few known camps of the city, but from beyond the horizon. And they asked for him specifically. Leo furrows his brows as he walks with two people back to the med bay.
“Did you check for infection?” the turtle asks.
“Yup,” the woman replies. “They came back negative.”
“Coming all the way here from… what did they say again?” the man asks and leans forward to look at the woman on the other side of Leo. “The West Coast? And without getting infected… I don't know if I should be impressed or terrified.”
The image of your face flashed in Leo’s mind. The chances of you surviving were already so low that he’d rather not think about it at all. But the chances of you surviving and coming here to see him? Surely that was impossible. Should he open his heart to the possibility or close it off to not get his hopes up? With every step he takes, his heart is torn back and forth.
When they arrive, Leo enters the room, followed by the two from earlier. He sees the newcomer from the back first as they talk with one of the medics. Hearing his steps, the person turns around, and for a moment, Leo thinks he might still be dreaming.
Somehow you look just as he remembered but so very different all at once. There's more wrinkles on your skin, more grey hairs on your head. But the glint in your eye is the same from when you were both 16. And for a moment, Leo is transported back to when he watched your family's car drive off, perched on a nearby rooftop.
Still undecided on how to react, he grits his teeth as his heart pounds against his chest. There it is, the anger. He knows it's aimed at himself, but with you physically there, he doesn't even get a chance to redirect it before throwing you a harsh glare that makes you visibly flinch. Evidently not the reaction you expected. The other people in the room exchange confused looks with each other. The tension is palpable, rising with every second you two look at each other. Finally, Leo tears his gaze from yours and looks away.
“I can’t do this right now,” he says in a dismissive tone and turns his heels to leave, slamming the door behind him.
Everyone's attention comes back to you, and you uncomfortably shift in your seat.
“You two know each other?” the man asks.
“Yes… From a long time ago,” you say, not really wanting to get into details, so you turn to the medic. “Am I free to go?”
“Uh, yes.” She looks almost startled by your question. “We‘ll have someone give you the tour. If you have any symptoms like headaches, pain, anything at all, please come see me.”
“Will do,” you say with a nod and hop off the cot.
You decide to give Leo a chance to cool off and not go looking for him immediately. Instead, the man from before shows you the camp. Really, it's just an abandoned building, formerly offices and a warehouse by your best guess. Most of it has been modified to meet everyone’s post-apocalyptic needs. There's also a big part that's entirely underground.
After he shows you the main common areas, you're given some food, a change of clothes and the chance to clean up. By the time you're freshened up, you decide enough time has passed, so you head out to find Leo.
You remember how when you were younger and he needed to clear his head, there was this one rooftop that he liked, one where he could watch over the city, facing the sunrise. As you pass the woman from before that had come with Leo into the med bay, you stop her to ask if there's an elevated place like that here, and indeed there's a watchtower that Leo uses frequently. So you repeat the directions she gave you in your head as you walk there, your steps going faster and faster the closer you are. By the end you're almost sprinting. You haven't seen Leo in decades, and his tantrum will not stop you from doing so now that you're so close.
The exit you're looking for is marked with a green sign, as you were told. The door is heavy, so you push it with your whole body. Once outside, you tighten your collar, not wanting the sand and dust carried by the wind to get inside your clothes.
You look up, and lo and behold, you see Leo’s frame sitting on the patchwork metal platform up on the tower. It's not as high as you thought, and surely not as high as he'd like, but it's elevated nonetheless.
Up until now, the goal of finding back to Leo was so clear in your head, that your resolution never waivered. It's only when you're climbing up the ladder that you realise that maybe this isn‘t a tantrum. Maybe he actually doesn‘t want to see you. Maybe he still blames you for leaving. Maybe… you never meant as much to him as he did to you.
That thought catches you so off guard that you slip on the last step and there's a loud clatter as you hold onto the railing. Leo looks over his shoulder in slight alarm, already reaching for his weapon, but when he sees it's you, he turns back around with a sigh.
You bite the inside of your cheek, hesitating for a moment. But you've already come this far. And you’re living through the literal apocalypse. So what’s the worst that could happen? You couldn’t even tell your body to turn around and leave now that you’re so close to him, because it moves on its own. Even if he never wanted to see you again, the truth is that you’ve missed him. So much.
The platform isn't all that big to begin with, probably made to fit two human adults, but you still manage to leave some distance between yourself and the turtle as you sit down next to him.
There's a long silence, and the both of you look ahead over what a lifetime ago would have been part of the city, but is now a vast expanse of dust and ruins.
“So…” Leo starts, clearing his throat. “How… How’d you come all this way, anyway?”
“I didn't come alone,” you say and hear him take a sharp breath. Realising how that sounded, you clarify. “What I mean is that I came in a group. We stopped at one of the camps a little further to the north. But then I heard about a man-turtle with katanas and… I just had to come see for myself, I guess.”
Leo nods, but doesn’t say anything.
“The group I came with has some ideas about establishing communications again,” you continue, if only to fill the silence. “We found some old telephone lines that are almost intact. If we get enough people together, I think maybe we can get a network up and running.”
He hums in acknowledgement, but keeps his gaze towards the horizon. You pull up your knees to your chin and lean your face sideways on them.
“Will you please look at me?” you say after a while.
Leo doesn't do so immediately. Only after heaving a pretty deep sigh does he turn his face to look at you, and you can feel the heat rushing to your cheeks, but you don‘t care. You don't care if you make a fool of yourself when this man is making you feel like a teenager all over again simply by being by your side. Because this might as well be the last time you get to look at him at all. These days nothing is certain, nothing is taken for granted.
When his eyes finally meet yours, his gaze softens the same it would all those years ago, and you can't help the smile on your face, accompanied by a little “Hey”.
“Hey,” he says back just as softly, and you both take a moment to really take each other in, trace all the new lines and scars that time has etched into your skins. After a moment, he looks down, ashamed. “I’m sorry about earlier.”
“It’s okay,” you say and scoot over as smoothly as you can to bump your shoulder into his, now much taller than yours. “I would have messaged you to let you know I'd drop by, but… You know.” You mimic a typing motion with your hands, then open your palms to signify their emptiness.
“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Man, I miss smartphones.”
“And I missed you,” you blurt out before you can stop yourself. Leo looks back to you with raised brows, but you can't hold his gaze and look away, clearing your throat. “So, uhm, where are your brothers? I haven't seen them around. With Donnie's help I'm sure we can get that phone line working in no time.”
Leo smiles bitterly, brows furrowed, and shakes his head as he looks back out to the horizon.
“Mikey is out with a scouting group. He should be back soon. But the others, uhm…” He retrieves his katana and gently smoothes his fingers over the handle before showing it to you. Your heart stops and sinks into your stomach as you see a red and purple bandana tied to it. You also notice that Raph‘s is more tattered than Donnie‘s, meaning he was the first to…
“Oh Leo I- I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry.” Instinctively, you hold onto his arm, leaning on his shoulder, and place your hand over his. He doesn't pull away, in fact it feels like he leans into your touch ever so slightly.
“Yeah, me too…”
You two stay like that for a while.
When you see your hand on his, you remember how well they used to fit together, back when either of you would find an excuse to hold hands. Despite the circumstances, he must have been well fed to reach his current size.
That thought makes you shake your head slightly at yourself. The little exhale through your nose like you're laughing catches Leo‘s attention.
“What?” he asks with a slight smile.
“Nothing, it's just…” You look up at him without leaving his shoulder. “I just realised you finally had your growth spurt. Good for you.”
“Oh, shut up,” he laughs and brings his arm around your body, pressing you into his side with a playful squeeze. But even after he eases up, giving you plenty of room to pull back, you stay there, hand on his plastron, mindlessly tracing all the new lines that came with time. Time you weren't there for him. Your smile fades from your lips. Time where you grew apart from each other. Time you'd never get back.
You want to catch up, ask how it all happened. But just as you're about to speak up, there's a clatter from the ladder.
“Master!” a young voice calls out, and Leo turns to look to his other side.
“Master Leonardo, there you are! The scout group came back and–” He stops mid-sentence when he spots you, cuddled into the turtle’s side. You immediately pull back with a sheepish look. The young boy looks between you and Leo, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Who’s that?”
Leo introduces you as an old friend to Casey Jr, and when you hear him say your name for the first time in so long, your heart leaps in your chest. You try your best not to show how much it affects you in front of the kid.
Casey beckons you both back inside, and you go to the main hall where the scouting party is being received. When Mikey spots you, he twirls you around in a bone crushing hug. You look up at him, he also got bigger, but what stands out the most is the white hair. It makes him look older than his brother.
Leo, Mikey and Casey sit with you for dinner, and they tell you all about how they set up this camp, how they try to take in anyone still around, that it’s been hard but they make due. You also tell them how it’s been fighting the Krang on your side, and how lately the different camps have started to team up for better resource management.
After you’re done eating, Mikey takes Leo aside to discuss some findings from his mission. Meanwhile you stay with Casey. He asks about young Leo, and you tell him about how you met the turtles, how much fun you had together, what New York was like back when it was standing. You're careful to leave out your massive crush on the turtle though. Casey listens so intently, you can tell that he really admires Leo and Mikey, and it warms your heart a little to know that even in these circumstances, Leo still has someone that cares about him, but also someone to care about.
By the time Leo comes back, the camp has gone into the night shift, meaning there's less people around as most have gone to sleep, except for the guards standing watch here and there. Leo takes you to the underground bunker, which are the sleeping quarters, since being on the surface at night is too dangerous.
It's mostly tents and communal sleeping areas, and Leo shows you where you can sleep. You walk a little further with him to a closed off area, which seems to be the turtles’ room. You recognise the handwriting on the door to be Donnie‘s, and your chest tightens in pain for a moment.
“So, this is me,” Leo says pointing to the door. “Time to hit the hay. It's been… a day.”
You fidget with your shirt. Man, how can he still make you feel like a crushing teenager even after all this time?
“If it's all the same to you, I'd like to keep talking a little more. I don’t wanna keep you up, but I honestly don’t think I could sleep.”
An airy laugh escapes him, and you look up in surprise.
“Yeah, me neither to be honest. C’mon, I’ll make you some tea.” Leo pushes the door open and holds it for you. The room reminds you of the subway station lair they used to have and you smile. Then his words register with you and you spin around.
“You have tea?” you ask, genuinely surprised.
“I have a stash,” Leo says with a smug grin and heads to a cupboard, taking out a little tin box. “Only for special occasions.”
“Oh, well… I'm flattered,” you say, and you mean it.
In a corner of the room there's a small fire going, and Leo hangs a dented kettle on the hook above it. There's no smoke in the room, so you figure they must have some ventilation system going. You're genuinely impressed.
Leo sits down with one of those grunts only an old man can make, and you turn around to tease him about it. But you just catch the moment where he holds his right arm and unlocks it from a socket, revealing a nub of an arm underneath.
“Oh my god!” you blurt out, and both your hands come up to cover your mouth. Leo chuckles, placing the prosthetic arm in its designated place on the wall nearby, and massages his bad shoulder. You approach him with a sheepish look, apologising for your reaction.
“It's okay,” he says, gesturing with his chin to a tattered chair to his right, and you take a seat. “Sometimes when I wake up, it also takes me by surprise.”
“Can I ask, how…?” you drift off, hands hovering over his shoulder. “May I?” He nods.
Leo tells you about how he lost his arm when some infected creatures overran their former camp. He managed to get everyone out in one piece, except for himself. While you listen to his retelling, you gently trace over the partially visible stripe. You find yourself leaning in suddenly, wanting to place a kiss on his arm, but stop yourself in time, playing it off like you‘re closely inspecting the scar.
Luckily, you're saved by the bell, or rather, the whistle, as the kettle signals the water being ready. Leo gets up with another grunt and pours two cups of tea, handing one to you before taking a seat again.
You softly blow onto the drink, swirls of steam dancing in front of your face before disappearing.
“I don’t even remember the last time I had a proper hot drink,” you say as you close your eyes, taking in the herbal scent. It smells heavenly.
“There’s so many things we never realised were the last time,” he says and takes a sip. You mirror him, and hum in delight.
“The tea alone was worth the whole trip here,” you say, and he shoots you a look in mock offence.
“Hey, I thought you were here to see me.”
“That’s just a happy coincidence,” you retort with a chuckle. “...Master Leonardo.”
“Don’t even start,” he laughs.
“No, no, I think it's great that you have someone like Casey that looks up to you. I mean it.” You take another sip. “I can tell he means a lot to you.”
Leo nods and hums, lost in thought, as he brings the cup to his lips. You both keep drinking your tea in silence for a while.
“Thank you for the tea, that was delicious,” you say and set your now empty cup to the side. He's done drinking too, so you motion for him to hand you his cup and you put it with the other one.
“It tastes even better in good company.” He leans back onto the wall, exhaling contentedly.
“You know, when I heard about you, I wasn't really sure what to expect.” You gesture to his nub with your chin. “Certainly not that.”
“I hope I didn't disappoint you too much, then,” he says with a slight chuckle.
“You could never,” you're too quick to reply, and Leo turns his face to look at you. “All this time, all I hoped for is that you would still be alive, but now that I’m here, I don't really know what to do with myself. I was scared that… that you resented me.”
“Resent you? Why?” he asks, stretching his legs out in front of him.
“Because I left so suddenly.” You lean forward to prop your elbows on your legs, head in your hands. “I hated myself for never giving you a proper goodbye. I didn't want the last time we ever talked to be a fight.”
A fight? he thinks, and then he remembers: The night before you left, you asked to meet to tell him something important. He said he'd be there, but he lost track of time. He never made it to your meeting place. You didn't answer any messages when he tried to contact you to apologise, and only called him once your family was already loading the car the next morning. When you told him what was happening, he got angry because you didn't tell him earlier, which ended up in some argument where you hung up on him. By the time he made it to your apartment, the car was already leaving.
“Oh, that,” is all he says as he sits up straight. You look at him.
“What do you mean, ‘that’?” Your brows rise in disbelief. “You didn't remember until just now?”
“To be completely honest, no.”
“Then why didn't you want to see me earlier?” you ask, sitting up and shooting him a quizzical look.
A slight blush creeps up on his cheeks and he looks to the side. He can’t tell you it’s because he was clinging onto your memory so much, he felt like he got caught thinking about you and needed to clear his head before he did something stupid.
“Just… a lot of feelings came back up all at once, I needed to sort it out.”
“Feelings, but not hatred?”
“Of course not,” he says as if the mere thought of that is ridiculous. “I’d never hate you.”
“Then what?” you ask, completely lost now. If he didn’t resent you for what you did, then why would he react like that?
“Just, you know.” Leo gestures vaguely in the air with one arm.
“No, I don't know,” you point out and lean forward to make him look at you, but he avoids your gaze. Then something occurs to you so you get up to stand in front of him. “Leo… Did you… did you like me back then?” You playfully poke him in the chest.
“Yes, obviously,” he huffs in annoyance at your insistence, then freezes. He dares a glance at you.
“Oh, oh wow.” Your hands come up to hold your head at the temples as you laugh. “We‘re both idiots.”
“What?” he deadpans and you place your hands on his shoulders to shake him back and forth lightly.
“I liked you too, ya big goof!” you finally say, and all the memories of your interactions fall into place like puzzle pieces. Suddenly everything makes sense; the stolen glances, the touches played off as non-chalant, the silly nicknames. “And it only took us, what? An apocalypse and twenty-something years to figure it out? Good for us.”
“Wait what?” he chuckles, but the more he thinks about it, the fuller his laugh becomes, and it‘s so contagious that you join him.
After a moment, your laughter dies down and you realise how close you are, standing between his legs. But your body is frozen in place, unable to pull back. Leo’s hand hovers over your waist, unsure, wanting to pull you in. Your hands move on their own as they travel up his neck to hold his face. His eyes flutter close for a second and he leans into your touch, the softest of smiles on his lips.
“Man, I missed you,” he whispers. His arm fully envelops you to pull you into his chest, and he hugs you as tight as he can without crushing you.
“And I missed you, Leo,” you say into the crook of his neck. He chuckles and it reverberates through your whole body.
“Guess we really are idiots,” he concludes and lets you pull back to look at each other. Your thumb caresses his jaw and across his cheek, up to his bandana.
“Can I…?” you ask, and he lets you slip off the piece of fabric, which you carefully set aside, and you see his uncovered face. The half moon stripes by his eyes had always been your favourite, and you can't help but trace over them like you used to do back when he‘d fall asleep in your lap, a shaky breath escaping his lips. Your face pulls into a pained grimace as you realise that all this time, you could have had this with him. “I wish it didn't have to be like this. That I could have been by your side all these years.”
“There's no point in dwelling in the past,” Leo says with a half shrug. “I'm just happy you're here.” His hand gives your waist a squeeze. Warmth erupts on your face and you look away with a silly smile, heart beating against your ribs.
“Yeah, me too,” you breathe. When your eyes find his again, you catch his gaze dropping to your lips and back up.
You take in a shaky breath in an attempt to calm yourself. It's been over twenty years but clearly neither of you has gotten over your mutual crush. Which already is an insane thing to think about. But being here with him, in his arms (or rather, arm), the dim light making his stripes glow, his eyes as sharp as ever, looking at you, seeing you… It‘s almost too much to the point you're starting to feel a little faint, but you fight it.
“Actuall–” His hand presses into your lower back. “–there's one thing I do regret.”
“Yeah? What's that?” you ask, voice barely audible.
“I never got to kiss you before you left.” Leo slightly tilts his head still in your hands, and gives you one of his signature lopsided smirks.
“Well,” you elongate the sound with a chuckle. “Since we live in such unpredictable times, you might as well take your chance now that I’m here.”
Leo’s eyes drop to your mouth again, and you nod. That's all it takes for him to lean in and capture your lips in a kiss. It's shy and featherlight like he‘s scared you'll disappear. So you kiss him again with more pressure. He parts his lips and so do you, pulling back just enough to adjust your angle and go back in again, over and over. Leo's arm pulls you even closer, and he kisses you like his life depends on it, and you reciprocate.
After a few moments, you pull back to take a breather, and even in the dark you can see his flushed face. By the warmth on your cheeks and the erratic beating of your heart, you know you're not far off yourself. You smooth over his cheeks with your thumbs, a smile plastered on your face.
“You’ve gotten quite handsome, you know that?” you say, and he scoffs, so you’re quick to add, “Yes, yes, I know. You already were handsome. But you got handsomer, you know?”
“Well, you don’t look half bad yourself for an apocalypse survivor,” he shoots back with a wink, and you roll your eyes with a smile. “I mean it, though. You look incredible. Always have.”
The earnestness in his voice catches you off-guard, so you peck the tip of his snout to distract him from how much his words affect you. This makes him chuckle, so you keep peppering his face with little kisses until you’re both giggling like kids.
“Alright then,” Leo says rather suddenly. His arm goes around your middle and he stands up, picking you up with him. “Time to go to sleep. There’s a lot to do tomorrow.”
You hold onto his shoulders for dear life, not that he’d ever let you fall, even one arm short. Leo walks you to his side of the room, and you push the curtain aside for you to cross, then pull it back closed. That way there’s a bit of privacy when Mikey comes back into the room.
Leo sits on his cot and lies down sideways, pulling you down with him and into his chest. There’s not a lot of space but you make it work. Once you’re both settled in, you stretch your neck to give him one last kiss goodnight.
“With you here, suddenly everything is not so bad,” Leo says after a moment, and he sighs contentedly.
“True,” you agree, and cuddle further into his chest. You may already be falling asleep, but you hear yourself mumbling, “If you get your hands on a time machine, just make sure to tell the traveller to have us get together quicker.”
Leo snorts, amused by your sleepy antics, and places a kiss on the top of your head.
“I’ll keep it in mind.”
○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○
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If I were in Young Justice none of the team could let me get close to Red Tornado cuz I'd fold and ask for a date immediately
Actually hhdjsha imagine the YJ team figuring out one of the heroes they look up to is dating Red Tornado
He's acting suspicious by their standards, saying he has something to attend to, weird since he rarely leaves the base. So obviously everyone follows him, only to see him meet up with the hero and uh oh! They kiss <3
I think I just got a thing for robots at this point
ND anon
wait i never answered this!!?? im so sorry sdfjhkdf
YES i agree, i stand in solidarity with you that robots just have that certain Something that organics sometimes lack 😌
also the mental image is so funny because imagine you get recruited into the YJ team and you go to their HQ (i forget what it's called) and red tornado is there and you immediately drop to your knees like "go out with me pleasepleaseplease" lmaoo
and the secret dates, that certainly has fic potential hmm i'm taking notes 🗒️✍️
heyyy goslings, it's been a while ;-; how have you been?
just dropping by to let you know that i've had some physical health issues in the last months which causes pain and discomfort in my ribcage when sitting for long periods of time. after spending the whole workday at a desk, sitting at my own pc is the last thing i want to do tbh 😭 not to write or play my games even. i spend the evenings lying down on my couch and on my phone which is more comfortable but also means i'm absolutely rotting my brain hhhh
all this to say i'm sorry i've been away and i don't know when i'll be back but i have several wips still going and i do intend to finish them. i just can't say when :'v requests are still open, even if i'm slow feel free to send something in!
anyways take care everyone 💕 if you wanna drop by to say hi, my inbox is always open c:
dude i had the weirdest cal kestis meta dream during my nap lol
i dreamt i was in a video game, and the game was a cyberpunk star wars story, where being force sensitive meant that the people were sensitive to a certain substance. when exposed to it in its liquid form, it would latch onto their backs and give them super sick outfits, think somewhere between ares and halo, sans helmet. and ofc a weapon materialised on their backs, appearing as either one or two hilts poking out, but when they pulled, it produced the whole sword. it looked pretty badass ngl 🤩
when wearing the armour, these jedi warriors could slip into a pocket dimension of some kind. like they'd be able to see "doors" that weren't really there, mainly to hide, but i'm pretty sure they used it to "teleport" since they could exit somewhere different. and that's how they moved and infiltrated places. because of course there was some galactic war going on, and the last few jedis had teamed up and were trying to lead a rebellion.
and amidst all that chaos was i lol i obviously recognised cal and i was so starstruck to meet him, but the poor guy was just so exhausted 😔 iirc i was sent there as either a journalist or a law enforcer? mainly to document the whole thing. but cal was very dismissive and didn't really want me there, understandable with everything going on. so to show him that i was worth his while, i showed him that i too could access these pocket dimensions, without the liquid or the armour. he was obviously very surprised.
just as we started chatting, i woke up within the dream. and i remember being like "wow that is such a cool world and idea! i should write a cal kestis fic with this cyberpunk setting", but i couldn't move, so i grabbed my phone wanting to record myself talking, but it was acting up so it wasn't recording anything and i got so mad 😂 then i woke up for real and needed a solid 5 minutes to figure out where and when i am and process everything that happened lmao
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opening my requests!!
once again, my fingers are itching to write yet my brain is empty o(-< but this time it's gonna be a little different. usually i close them up once i got a bunch and only open them up again when i've worked through most of my backlog, ideally all of them. but i have come to terms with the fact that that's not always possible. so please, if your request doesn't get written, don't take it personally! :') even if it did follow the rules, maybe it just didn't spark anything rn. know that i do save all requests and read through them regularly, hoping to get a wave of inspiration. so you may get your ask answered within the next few days, or it might take months, or it might never be written. as such, feel free to send more than one request if you have a lot of ideas :D
TL;DR - i might not get to your request immediately or at all, no hard feelings pls. just keep 'em coming :>
BEFORE YOU SEND IN A REQUEST make sure to read the rules!! (at the end of my pinned post)
i'm taking requests for all characters i've written for* in the past, though star wars and avatar may be favoured rn
(*) check the character list under the cut as well to see new/other characters i'm willing to write for!
reminder for those who missed it~
also, i've added a couple more characters to the list i'm open to write for, so feel free to check it out and send something in 👀
Two cats, sitting in a tree...
summary: after getting closer to each other, Ao’nung wants to give reader a little surprise to feel more at home.
relationship: Ao’nung x gn!reader
warnings: fluff! 😩, bullying (the start of the second movie essentially), no use of y/n, kabedon bc i said so
word count: 5.1k
A/N: i still can't believe i never posted this to tumblr (this was originally posted on ao3 in january 2023 O.O) but i'll do it now since i'm working on a sequel 👀 this one was inspired by @funfetticandle’s fic idea (which btw i can't remember if i ever tagged you in this so if you haven't seen it, i'm so sorry but here it is, literally 3 years late :'v) for this one the reader arrives with the sullys. if you wanna be a biological or adopted kid is up to you!
[all masterlists] 🪶 [avatar masterlist] 🪶 [ao3]
(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
The first thing you noticed when your family arrived at the Metkayina clan, was how different everyone looked. You knew other clans farther away had a different physiology, but you had never actually seen them up close like this. And the same seemed to be true for them, as the foreign Na’vi were curiously peeking at you and your siblings, some of the younger ones even going as far as making fun of you all for having “baby tails”.
You weren’t paying much attention to the conversation the adults were having, as one Metkayina boy, around your age, went to touch your tail to mock you. You managed to restrain yourself from slapping his hand away, but you evaded his touch by taking a step to the side, baring your teeth and giving him a warning hiss. He stepped back but chuckled, elbowing his friend with a “ooh, feisty”, which made the other giggle as well.
After the Tsahìk had accepted that your family could stay, the leader stepped forward. You had caught his name to be Tonowari, and while he looked like he had a stern yet gentle side to him, you imagined he could be intimidating as well (though honestly you were way more intimidated by Ronal), so you made a mental note to be on your best behaviour with the leading family for the sake of yours. That’s when Tonowari announced his kids would teach you the Metkayina ways; a friendly looking girl, and– wait, that’s the boy who was making fun of you earlier! As you were giving him an involuntary glare, his eyes met yours for a second, and he gave you a smirk. You huffed and looked away, you didn’t even know his name and he was already getting under your skin.
— — — — —
Ever since arriving, Ao’nung and his “gang”, as you called his friend group in your mind, gave you and your siblings a hard time for how you looked. At least they were smart enough to not mess with Tuk (that would have all of you Sully’s on their throats in an instant), but they did still like to mess around with you older bunch, especially Lo’ak. He was a perfect target because he got worked up easily. Being the same age as Neteyam, you also played your part as older sibling, and you had gotten Lo’ak out of messes a fair amount of times before; here it wasn’t any different.
One afternoon you were looking for Kiri. As you were stepping out of the marui, you saw her spacing out again, this time while lying on her belly in the shallow water. You smiled to yourself at the sight, wondering what went through her head when she had those moments, but it quickly faded as you saw Ao’nung and his gang approaching her, your brothers coming in from the other side. With a sigh, you waded through the waters to join them. By then, Lo’ak and Neteyam had arrived to defend Kiri. Neteyam successfully managed to separate the group, and you were about to go to Kiri to talk as you initially wanted, but then you saw Lo’ak turn back around. Already sensing what was about to happen, you stood next to Neteyam with your arms crossed. You both shared a look, knowing you probably should stop your little bro, but you kinda wanted to see if he dared to do what you knew he’d do. And lo and behold, he actually punched Ao’nung straight in the face. You couldn’t help the little snort that escaped your lips, and quickly covered your mouth, watching the scene unfold in strange amusement.
The fight escalated however, and Neteyam joined Lo’ak in the fight that got more physical. Kiri complained loudly about how lame it all was, and asked you to do something. Deciding it had gotten too far, with the other boys yanking at Lo’ak’s tail to the point where it looked like it’d pop off any second, you decided to intervene.
“Alright guys, that’s enough,” you said, approaching the group. You were completely ignored however. “Hey, I said that’s enough. Cut it out already! Neteyam!”
The older boy paused, shoved the other guy off and turned away, rubbing the scratches on his face. Lo’ak was still going at it though. You tried prying him off one of the Metkayina boys, but you got too close, and he hit you with his elbow right in your nose.
At the contact, you yelped loudly, and your hands came up to hold your poor nose, from which you could already feel the blood trickling. For some reason, since it had been you who got hurt, all the fighting stopped. Lo’ak turned around and grimaced. He opened his mouth to say something, probably apologise, but you acted before he could talk.
You grabbed him by his ear, dragged him a couple of steps to where Neteyam stood, hearing his several “Ouch! Hey! Ow!” behind you and ignoring them, and then also grabbed the other brother’s ear, to which he also complained loudly.
“You guys, out of all the–! Ugh!” you groaned in frustration. “Dad is gonna kill us!” You heard some snickers behind you, abruptly turning around with your brothers in tow.
“And you–!” you looked at Ao’nung, giving him the most scolding glare you could muster, which he responded to with a slightly amused smirk. You clicked your tongue in annoyance, deciding not to say anything, before you say something you couldn't take back. You were trying to stop the fight, after all.
With another groan, you told Kiri to go look for Tuk or something, while you took care of ‘this’. You did not like it, but you knew you had to bring your brothers before your dad. He would not be happy about the looks of either of you.
— — — — —
Some time after that, you noticed a change in Ao’nung. He left you, Kiri and Neteyam alone at least. You weren’t so sure about Lo’ak but hey, you couldn’t keep an eye on him 24/7 even if you wanted to; he always managed to scurry away somewhere and get into trouble.
In the mornings at least, you knew what he was up to, as you spent them all together. Ever since arriving, Tsireya and Rotxo would meet you and your siblings to teach you how to swim and dive like a Metkayina. It wasn’t easy, given that their lung capacity seemed endless next to yours, and their tails and fin-like limbs had them moving swiftly along the coral reefs. Still, you did your best, and every day you were able to hold your breath a little longer, and dive a little farther, all thanks to Tsireya. She was a great teacher and very patient with all of you.
Ao’nung hadn’t been around much for the diving lessons though. He was in charge of the Ilus and teaching you lot how to ride them. He seemed to be extra patient and gentle with Tuk, which surprised you, to be honest. He even went so far as to give you one-on-one lessons with the Ilus, showing you the best ways to do tight turns in the water and how to keep your balance by placing one leg over the fin (he hadn’t shown that to your brothers, for instance).
You noticed that when he wasn’t around the boys or his sister and didn’t have to keep up his ‘bad boy’ image, or whatever it was he had going on, he could be pretty fun to be around. In fact, you were looking forward to hanging out with him more and more, and even started feeling annoyed when someone interrupted these moments, which caught you by surprise every single time. You hoped he hadn’t noticed. (He had.)
Ao’nung would linger more and more around you, asking several times if there was something he could help you with, or asking you to help him out with some menial task you knew he could have done by himself. You assumed he also enjoyed your company. And if you were being honest, that thought had made your heart skip a beat on more than one occasion now.
Then there was the one time you almost wished he hadn’t been there.
It was late in the afternoon, and Ao’nung was sitting on a big rock on the shore fixing some of his equipment, while you had just finished your ride on your Ilu after going fishing. As you dismounted, you caught yourself stealing glances at him from behind your Ilu; you'd be lying if you said you didn't find him attractive. Despite his initial bully attitude, he had not only learned to respect your brothers (especially after the Tulkun incident), but had also shown to be reliable, kind, smart…
The thought brought some heat to your cheeks, and you dared a longer peek at him while you took the fish net off the Ilu’s saddle. You were fumbling with the net, not looking at what you were doing, when suddenly Ao’nung turned his head in your direction and made eye contact. In that very moment your Ilu got spooked by something, and darted off with a squeal. The net was still attached to the saddle, and since you had been messing around, your foot got caught in the net. The sudden tug on your leg made you lose your balance, and your yelp was swallowed by the water relentlessly hitting your face as you got dragged off behind the Ilu you could not control, since you had already separated your queue. Unable to hoist yourself up to take a breath, you swallowed more water than you’d like to admit, hitting your back on several rocks, and worst of all, making a fool of yourself while the boy you had shamelessly been checking out saw it all.
At the sight of you suddenly being quite literally swept off your feet into the water, Ao’nung had actually laughed, not mockingly but more so in genuine surprise that he had caught you staring, and amused by the face you made. Still, he quickly made his way to you, calling out to the Ilu with a variety of clicks and guttural sounds, bringing it to a stop before him. He gave it a few pats on the neck and held out his other hand to you for assistance. Being barely able to make out the shapes in front of you because of the water in your eyes, you gratefully took his hand and let him pull you up to your feet.
Finally out of the water, you coughed a couple of times, wiped your face, and took some deep breaths. You didn’t dare look at him, already mentally preparing yourself for his mockery or maybe even scolding for your stupid mistake, and instead decided to glare at your Ilu, which seemed completely fine and not spooked. How convenient for you, huh?, you thought sarcastically.
As he called your name to get your attention, you looked back at him with a pout.
“Are you alright?” the boy asked with genuine concern while unsaddling the Ilu, but also barely able to hold back his chuckles. “That was quite the spectacle.”
“Yeah, yeah,” you dismissed him with your hand, facing away from him and half-crouching down into the water to reach the net with your hands and untangle your foot. Behind you, you heard how his laughs got caught in his throat, and he went silent. Since that was even more concerning, you quickly shot him an unamused look over your shoulder and squinted your eyes in suspicion.
“What?” you asked with more bite than intended. Your face immediately softened though as you saw his concerned look. He stretched out a hand and grazed over your shoulder. You were surprised at the gentle touch but even more so at the sting; now that the adrenaline wore off, you felt the salty water in what seemed to be an open wound on your back.
“Huh? Am I bleeding?” you asked and tried looking over your shoulder but to no avail, you couldn’t see the wound from your angle.
“You must have cut yourself on the rocks” he observed and gently grabbed you by your bicep to lift you back up to your feet. “Come,” he instructed, pulling you along with one hand, as with the other he threw the saddle over his shoulder effortlessly, and made his way to the maruis. As you looked back, you noticed your net had actually been ripped and your precious fish were scattered about, your Ilu making quick work of the easy snacks, even calling some of his friends over with some clicks to feast together.
“My fish…” you mourned your catch and tried slipping out of his grip, since you wanted to at least try and save some. That would have been tonight’s dinner.
“Forget those,” Ao’nung said and his hand tightened ever so slightly around your arm as he made you move again. “Let’s patch you up first.”
Luckily, his parents as well as his sister were out at the moment, which meant you two were alone in the weaved pod. He made you sit down as he grabbed some medicine. He had watched his mother countless times, and had also been on the receiving end of the leaves and ointments often enough, so he knew pretty well which medicine to use for a wound like yours. The cuts weren’t too deep, but they covered a pretty big area from the nape of your neck to your shoulder blade, and he had to cover them up in something so it could heal properly.
You knelt down and sat on your haunches, brushing your braids out of the way so he could reach the gashes. The two of you were silent; this was a side to him you quite frankly hadn’t expected but welcomed nonetheless. He was so gentle when applying whatever it was he was using, apologising when you couldn't help but hiss at a particularly bad sting.
Once he was done, he used your hair to cover most of it up. It’s not like he wanted to hide it per se, he just didn’t know how to explain to your parents that you had gotten hurt under his watch, knowing he’d also get an earful from his own father.
Ao’nung had finished putting everything away when you heard Tuk calling for you outside. You stood up, misjudging how your kneeling position had made your legs partially fall asleep, so you stumbled a bit when you rose to your feet, holding onto the next best thing for balance, which happened to be Ao’nung’s arms. You both looked at each other in silence for a second, lingering, and then you heard Tuk again, this time much closer. You took a quick step back to get some distance between him and you, and he cleared his throat.
“Thanks for, uh, patching me up,” you said sheepishly, and felt infinitely stupid for not coming up with something better, since you two were clearly having a moment.
“No worries,” he responded, then his smile turned a little more smug. “I hope you don’t get too much trouble for coming home empty handed. Tomorrow I’ll teach you how to properly attach and remove a net from an Ilu.”
“Can’t wait,” you chuckled, then gave him a little wave and hurried off before Tuk found you here (and would inevitably run her mouth with your mother or blackmail you with the information).
As you sat down for a fish-less dinner, after having to admit to your whole family that you lost your catch that day, Neytiri noticed the scratches on your shoulder. To her inquiry about what happened, you simply said you slipped when fishing, and that’s why all your fish were gone, and that you had hurt yourself in the process. You were glad she didn’t ask about who treated your wound, though she looked like she wanted to. However Neteyam, who was sitting in front of you, and unbeknownst to you had seen the whole thing with the Ilu and Ao’nung taking you to his place, gave you one of his irritating, knowing smirks, and you stuck your tongue out at him.
— — — — —
After the Ilu incident, Ao’nung kinda made it a point to not let you out of his sight. If he lingered before, now it was way worse. He didn’t think you were a clutz or useless or anything. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He was very impressed at how fast all of you had managed to learn the new skills he and Tsireya had taught you, and how quickly you adapted to this way of life. But ever since that day, he had realised there was something else pulling him to you. He just couldn’t help himself, conscious or not, he always ended up somewhere in your vicinity.
A couple of days later, and after some of Ao’nung’s hunting and “logistics'' classes, you brought back a particularly good catch of fish. As you approached the shore, you saw him already standing there to welcome you back.
“Look! Look!” you called to him, showing off the fish and explaining how you had used the knots and techniques he taught you. He took his time looking over the net, inspecting every angle of it, and enjoying how in the corner of his eye he could see you nervously shifting your weight from one foot to the other, eager to accept his compliments.
Taking a quick look around to make sure no one was in earshot, he gave you the warmest smile you had yet seen on him, and immediately heat rose to your cheeks. The effect this boy had on you was almost as intoxicating as it was annoying; you wanted to show off and be told you did a good job! Right now was not the time for wood sprites in your stomach.
“You did good,” he said, and his hand came up to ruffle your hair a bit. “You’re a really quick learner, I’m impressed.”
“I had a good teacher,” you shot back with an equally big and genuine smile, but it quickly turned bittersweet. He tilted his head questioningly. “You all were really good teachers and so patient with us, and for that I am thankful! But it hasn’t been easy…”
“Yeah well, we’ve been doing this since we were born. Of course it would take you some time to master our ways.”
“That’s not what I mean,” you retorted, fidgeting with your hands. “It’s just been a lot. It’s so different where we’re from. Lately I’ve been kinda missing the forest, the mountains, and my old friends… But don’t get me wrong, the ocean and your people are beautiful! And we’re very lucky you welcomed us like this despite the circumstances.” You sighed deeply. “It just doesn’t feel like home, you know? At least… not yet.”
As you both stood in silence for a few moments, you mentally smacked yourself. He just told you you did a good job with the fish and you go and bum yourself out, truly brilliant, you scold yourself. You were about to backtrack and make some sort of joke to lighten the mood, when you felt his hand shyly grab yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze. You looked up at him with big eyes, and he couldn’t keep your gaze, instead shifting it to the side.
“Maybe one day you can show me the forest? That way I would know how to make it more like home for you here,” he said so quietly you almost missed it, deafened by the sound of your heart beating against your ribcage and ringing in your ears.
Some steps away Neteyam cleared his throat as he approached you two, and you both instinctively took a step away from each other. You announced to your brother you had the fish he wanted, and Ao’nung excused himself and left. Once again, Neteyam gave you his smuggest grin, wiggling his eyebrows at you.
“Shut up,” you said, smushing a fish in his face, while trying to hide your own flustered one.
— — — — —
Your words kept running through Ao’nung’s mind over and over again. He actually wanted to do something for you, so you could feel a little more like home. What’s in the forest? Trees? Where can he find big trees here? He racked his mental map for any possible good spots with lots of vegetation. He spent a whole evening planning something out, asking the older fishermen about certain parts of the archipelago. His parents exchanged worried looks with each other at how uncharacteristically quiet and absent-minded their son was being. Tsireya put two and two together and did her best to leave him to his own devices, while still being there in case he wanted to ask her for advice or help. The curiosity was killing her, but her brother never went to her, so she gossiped with Lo’ak instead.
The next morning, you were munching on your breakfast still half-asleep, when you heard your Ilu outside your marui, then a familiar voice called your name. Tuk peeked out of the pod and turned back to take another bite of her fruit.
“Your boyfriend’s here,” she nonchalantly said with a full mouth in your direction. Your eyes widened, the grogginess gone in an instant as you choked on your food. Jake and Neytiri silently looked at each other, then at you. You didn’t even need to glance in your brothers’ directions as you could feel their stupid grins. Kiri as per usual, rolled her eyes back into her skull.
“He is not my boyfriend,” you corrected Tuk, to which she just shrugged with a ‘Sure’.
You quickly finished eating your current portion, leaving the rest and excusing yourself. Exiting the pod, you jumped into the water and waded the short distance to where Ao’nung sat on his Ilu, and yours chirped happily as you approached.
“Lessons this early in the morning?” you asked and gave him a playful bump to his knee as you mounted up.
“Oh I’m sorry, did I interrupt your beauty sleep?” he retorted but lacked the usual bite in his voice. “I got a special assignment for you, c’mon.” He gestured with his head to the open ocean, and his Ilu took off, yours eagerly following.
He took you beyond the reef, and the Three Brothers, in a direction you had never been to. He went ahead of you at a steady speed, holding a spear at hand just in case. You tried asking him where you were going a couple of times but he only gave vague replies. So you tried to make a mental checklist: it couldn’t be the fishing grounds, as those were in the opposite direction. He also didn’t have you bring any equipment. So it wasn’t to harvest molluscs or plants either. In fact you had never been this far out, and you didn’t even know about the kind of flora and fauna that lived here. Just what was he planning?
After a couple more minutes of silence, only surrounded by the sound of wind and waves and your Ilu’s calls, you saw a lone island in the distance you were heading. You knew this clan was in an archipelago system, but it had actually never occurred to you to check out the other islands. Starting to understand what was going on, you told your Ilu to go faster to catch up to Ao’nung, and you rode at this side.
“Ao’nung,” you called, and he turned around with a raised brow that you met with a playful smile. “Are we sneaking off?”
“Well aren’t you a sharp little forest dweller,” he retorted with a smile of his own.
Seeing that there wasn’t an actual chore to do, you slowed down, and he copied you, coming to a stop next to you. Patting his Ilu on the neck, he gave you a questioning look.
“So, where are we going?” you asked, genuinely curious, as you looked back, and you could barely make out the trees that held your maruis in the distance. You had come quite a way. To your right was open water, to your left there were scattered rock formations, opening into a small bay here and there. But really there was nothing out here. Through your Ilu you could also not sense any big animals out here.
“I don’t know,” Ao’nung lied, but you took it as a nonchalant response. “Just exploring. Maybe we’ll find something good.”
That immediately piqued your interest.
“Like a secret hiding spot for example? That only you and I would know about?” You were picturing a grotto, with luminescent algae and pretty fish. His mind went somewhere else however.
“You want to be alone with me so badly?” he asked, leaning back onto his Ilu and giving you a coy look. Your cheeks burned up as you scoffed.
“I’m sorry, who’s the one who dragged me out here in the first place?” you retorted with a pout. He chuckled.
“C’mon, we’re almost there,” he finally admitted, and headed to the bigger island you had seen before.
“Aha! So you did have a plan after all!” you pointed at him with an accusing finger.
Do you really think I’d drag you all the way out here if I wasn’t familiar with the area first?, he thought to himself and shook his head, amused at how easy it was to tease you.
The closer you got to the island, the more in awe you were at the scene before you. Up until now, you had only seen the mangroves the maruis were built into. They were of decent size, but of course nothing like the trees you knew from back home. These ones however… They were gigantic. You had never seen a cluster of mangroves this big. Their roots spread out in all directions, and split up in way more places as well, getting all tangled into a dense net of trunk and ivy. They were surrounded by far more vegetation as well. Your first thought was how climbable these trees looked in contrast to the marui mangroves.
After hopping off your Ilu in a swift motion as you reached more shallow waters at the shore, you swirled around and laughed heartily. These trees almost gave you a forest-like feeling again.
“This is the biggest mangrove I’ve ever seen!” you called out in delight, and turned around to where Ao’nung was getting off his Ilu.
“Will you climb with me?” you asked him expectantly. You could have sworn he hesitated for a split second.
“Go ahead,” he tried encouraging you to go alone.
“Please, let’s go together” you pleaded, skipping to him and grabbing onto his forearm. “Pretty please? I’ll show you how to climb!”
He didn’t pull away from your grasp, but he also didn’t move. Instead he looked to the side, and his face contorted into a strange grimace of uncertainty.
“Ao’nung,” you suddenly said in a serious tone. His eyes darted back to you in a slight panic. “Are you… scared? Of climbing? Scared of heights perhaps?”
“Wha–” he pulled his arm out of your hands in overplayed offence. “No!” You grabbed onto him again.
“C’mon, if you think I’m a good fisher, you should see me climbing!” Again you gave him your best pleading eyes, but he remained silent. “I promise I won’t let you fall.” You tried one last time, giving his arm a squeeze. That made him slump his shoulders in defeat, and he sighed.
“Fine, but I can climb on my own,” he claimed, yet didn’t even try to pull away this time as you dragged him to the base of the tree roots in glee. To his disappointment, it was you who let go first, as you inspected the bark.
You ran your hand over it; it was smoother than the trees from the forest, which didn’t give much of a grip. You gracefully jumped onto the lowest root, and tried to figure out how to hold onto the branches to climb higher. It took a couple of tries but you quickly figured it out, and in the blink of an eye, you were several roots up.
Ao’nung meanwhile still stood on the sand at the base of the tree, enjoying the spectacle of seeing you clearly in your element. You moved with such grace and ease; he could see how a slimmer build came in handy when you’re moving like that. As you stood on the root several feet over the ground, his eyes followed the curve of your strong legs, and his heart skipped a beat, sending heat to his face. He looked away, trying to calm himself, but you called out to him.
“C’mon big guy, you’re missing the view!”
He tried climbing like he saw you do, but struggled. You guided him from where you were standing, telling him where to step and where to hold on, and how to lower his centre of gravity to avoid falling over to the side. After a while, he caught up to you, slightly out of breath. You were about to commend how well he did when he suddenly slipped on the smooth bark. You grabbed onto his outstretched arm with both hands and pulled him back to you before his other leg lost its footing, but you pulled with too much force and he essentially slammed into you. You couldn’t even stumble backwards much, as your back was met with a thick, vertical root blocking the way. Ao’nung leaned onto the trunk behind you with his forearm, and his other hand held onto your waist so you wouldn’t fall over either. Now you found yourself locked between the boy and the tree behind you.
After making sure you were secure on your own feet and he seemed to be as well, you finally dared to breathe and looked up, which immediately made your breath hitch again, as you were practically met nose to nose with your crush.
Ah, there it was, you finally admitted it to yourself. You had it bad for him.
Neither of you dared to move. For a moment, you just stood there taking in what was happening. His hand on your waist pulled you closer ever so slightly.
“Not bad for a fisher boy,” you finally said, your hands shyly sliding up from his arms to gingerly hold his face.
“Who knows,” he said in a low voice, as he started leaning in and your eyes fluttered closed. “You might make a climber out of me yet”.
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