Nothing ever happens

29 / Latina / they/them / / Graphic Designer / Art, videogames, cartoons, and asorted anime / Mostly SFW / Formerly diosmio-lacreatura / Art Tag #yessi draws /

[swagophile]

Tried to trick another clueless human into makinng a deal with me in exchqnge for great power where I give them some kind of evil curse or I do some clever wordplay to fuck them over but they noticed my big swishy fox tail poking out of my jester suit and they asked me if I was a furry babe with boobs and if I could sit on her face and if I had a "Knot" I could "breed" her with and I got so disgusted and afraid i just started crying. Whats wrong with humans. Why are they like this now. Used to be you could trick a guy into being a talented performer whos forever doomed to obscurity after his death or some shit like that but these days they just want to know if they can have sex with you. I don't know what to do. I'm at the end of my rope. I don't want to be an immortal trickster diety anymore

[realshy]

have you considered a career change to selling people on credit cards

[swagophile]

NO BECAUSE CREDIT CARDS ARE SCARY!!! THEYRE SCARY!!!!!! Also I think the whole financial system is under the domain of another much sicker and more twisted god my specialty is mostly social stuff and performance and the like. You don't really fuck with someone elses turf like that. Thats the sort of thing that gets you killed. AND CREDIT CARDS ARE ALSO REALLY SCARY!!!! TECHNOLOGY IS SCARY!!!!!!!!!!!!

[zooophagous]

I have been a sheep caretaker for like two days and already I'm like. Wow. I get it.

I get why these were some of the earliest mammals to ever be domesticated. They look up to humans with this sort of dumb but all at once innocent and pure and trusting expression. They're happy to see you. They follow you around. They like to be rubbed under their chins. Maybe its just some latent Scottish highland shepherd DNA I still have in me but I look at my sheep charges and suddenly I see why the love of God for humanity is so often described as a shepherd and his sheep. I'd fight a wolf for these guys. I'd go way the Hell out of my way for them. I'd carry their young for miles on my own back.

[upward-bound]

nearly 80k reblogs and how many of you eat lamb

[zooophagous]

The ancient shepherds I'm referencing also ate lamb lol

[threedollarsdotcom]

hey its me your doctor. idgaf

[durandahlia]

[rioblitzle]

i go to the shop and I ask if they have any raspberries. they say no, they used to sell raspberries, but they haven't had any in stock in the last 15 years. I ask if there's somewhere else I can go to buy raspberries. They say no, with confidence and pride, they're the only shop around who has ever sold or will ever sell raspberries. Other shops might sell other fruit, sure, but they have a monopoly on all raspberries forever. I ask if they're possibly planning on them selling them again in future? they say they can't tell me that.

on the way home, I encounter someone eating raspberries. I ask and they tell me that they grow their own, they got some seeds from the shop back in The Raspberry Days and kept them. They take me to a field of many beautiful raspberry plants and invite me to pick my own, they're free for all the town to pick whenever they'd like.

someone comes up behind us. It's the shop manager, President of Nintendo Shuntaro Furukawa. he hatefully throws a bob-omb that blows up and kills both of us instantly for stealing 200 trillion dollars worth of potential Raspberry Shop That Doesn't Do Raspberries Anymore profits that they weren't making and then he turns around to the camera with a big thumbs up and says don't do piracy or something ok please

[freegiftjones]

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

[chicknparm]

[cock-holliday]

“Ugh this prominent women in the Lesbian movement turned out to be a bisexual” “ugh this famous lesbian transitioned into a man” “ugh this queer romance writer turns out to be ace” “ugh this cis feminist author ended up being nonbinary” “ugh this writer on masculinity transitioned into a woman”

Oh no! We might have to recognize liberation as an interconnected intersectional struggle! Ahhh!!! >.<

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

Fortuneteller, turning over the Death card: Don't worry. It isn't literal. It simply refers to some form of change. Me: Phew Fortuneteller; turning over the Gets Eaten by the Fortuneteller While Trying to Leave card: That can also mean many things

[autistic-reptile]

sorry I saw a post about AAVE and got fired up and had to make this

[pocket-deer-belly]

i do actually think it's crazy that employers get a say over shit like tattoos and piercings and we just let that happen

[pocket-deer-belly]

if you look cool as fuck you become unemployable

[pocket-deer-belly]

i do also mean like, face tattoos, yall know that right

[partyinthecloudkingdom]

besides the obvious that people should have the right to do what they want with their bodies as a form of self expression, the stigma against face tattoos specifically has a long, violent, racist, imperialist history that stretches across the globe

[redstonedust]

i think its fun when people use the trope of vampires thinking that werewolves smell like shit but its especially funny to me when they say a werewolf smells like 'wet dog' . like specifically WET dog? not dry dog? something about werewolves makes them smell damper than any normal dog even if theyre dry as a bone? fascinating implications. wet werewolf vs creepy vampire. much to consider.

[zolltraak]

[wrenchinator-central]

[sudaca-swag]

we should start digging trenches in the mexican border so we can separate into two masses of land and we never have to listen to gringos again

[mamoru]

sorry to be brave on the internet but I think food labels should list every single ingredient and that there should be harsher penalties for mislabeling and deceptive labeling

[turtlesandfrogs]

Seconded.

[theelkmaiden]

Do.....do other places not do this?

Myne it's an England thing but I've just grabbed the closest things to me and they both have an extensive list of ingredients.

Hand cream

Turkish delight/Chocolate

[stabbyflower]

Hi! so both of these labels actually have the exact problem we're complaining about!

from label 1:

in the US and EU, this is a generic term meaning "something we put in here to make it smell nice" and there is absolutely NO way of knowing if that is a scent you are allergic to or not. some of these can be a mix of up to 200 distinct components.

from label 2:

i think you can probably see the problem here?

the issue isn't that we don't have ingredient lists. the issue is that "trade secrets" are more important than people's lives, so if a company says that listing the actual ingredients might allow people to copy them, it is legal for them to put "it's a secret, tee hee".

[schmergo]

Yesterday, I was at dinner with some friends and briefly forgot Harrison Ford’s name, but I was like, “His name is a president and a car,” which is how we got such acceptable alternatives as McKinley Camry, Van Buren Gremlin, Clinton Infinity, and Range Rover Cleveland.

[caesarsaladinn]

Lincoln Lincoln

[joyflameball]

[sudaca-swag]

imagine this you live you regular life in latin america you've just had a bad day, the bus was full, inflation is now over 15% and buying a book puts you in debt then suddenly, ding dong someone rings the doorbell! it's a gringo missionary telling you he can save your soul if you just suscribe $79,99 USD per month to usamericanweirdcult.com and cut ties with your loved ones

[apocalypse-polakiewicz]

tozozozo