I’ve noticed some confusion about the words “diamoric” and “enbian”. I can’t speak for enbian, as I was never invested in it, but I can clarify some things about diamoric as well as provide links about their coining and original intent and definition:
As someone who was a part of this discussion and chat since day 1, I’m going to make this clear: diamoric as an identity (”i am diamoric”) is for all nb people whose attraction cannot be shoehorned into “same” or “opposite” genders, and for all nb people who feel that nb-ness (either their own or their partners’) is important to their orientation and attraction. diamoric as an adjective (”i am in a diamoric relationship”) describes a relationship or attraction involving at least one non-binary person.
As a primarily girl-attracted person who helped create and promote this term, and who also promotes–among many other things–its usage among binary people describing their relationships with non-binary partners so as to avoid misgendering them, its usage by non-binary monosexuals to describe their attraction to binary people without misgendering themselves with the labels “straight” or “gay”, and its usage among m-spec people who feel that it helps describe their orientation in a more nuanced way, I want everyone to know that I do NOT support this word being taken to mean ONLY nbs who are nb-attracted/nb-partnered. The versatility of the word “diamoric” is one of the reasons I love it and worked for it–and, before it, cypric, dionysian, and appellic–as much as I did. While the word was centered on non-binary people who wish to proclaim their valuing of non-binary identity and relationships, that is not the only people who it was made for.
Anyone who is non-binary and feels that the word diamoric is important and resonant for them is 100% welcome to it, imo, and anyone who is attracted to or in a relationship with a non-binary person is also absolutely welcome to use diamoric to describe their feelings or relationship.
Also, neither term refers to liking non-binary people exclusively; if you are a non-binary person only attracted to non-binary people, the term for that would be ceterosexual (or gay, or queer, or any other term you prefer). If you are a non-binary person attracted to other non-binary people (exclusively or not), you’re enbian. If you are a non-binary person who feels like non-binary identity is important in describing your attraction, you’re diamoric. There are obviously overlaps–someone who is ceterosexual could also be both enbian and diamoric, all enbians could also identify as diamoric, and the majority of diamoric people could also identify as enbian–but those are the general definitions.
Another note: these terms, and the people behind them, are aro/ace inclusive. If you’re non-binary, you’re welcome to call yourself diamoric regardless of your other identities, and you are ALWAYS welcome in my community.
- non-binary people who feel that the current terminology is not enough to describe their attraction
- non-binary people who want to show their prioritization of non-binary identity in their attraction (either their own or their partners’)
- anyone who wants to describe attraction that is neither “opposite-gender” nor “same-gender”
enbian is for all non-binary people who are attracted (exclusively or not) to other non-binary people.
I hope this clarifies things. If you still have confusion or feel like this definition is exclusionary or bigoted in any way, please please bring it up with me, either here or at my main blog @weird-together. You can also bring it up with the creators of the definition posts, @bigendering and @androgyne-enjolras <3
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