i'm not as think as you drunk i am

dani. 21+ stylist, actress, infp, slytherin. role play and fangirling, that's pretty much all this blog is. head's up: all my characters are sad and broken. not even sorry.------ this blog is very not spoiler free

[gotanyotherbadideas]

HI LADY. Was just thinking about you, and then in the middle of scrolling back through my old RP Tumblr, found you! Hope all is well, miss writing with you, and Reagan says to tell Dawson hi. :) Love, Megs.

Megs, hi!  I miss you too.  Hope all is well with you too.  I’m actually about to revamp Dawson on a new site and he shall miss Reags for sure!!  xoxo Dani

[gyllenhala]

[midsommars-deactivated20201109]

Pillow Talk (2017—) Created by Mike Piscitelli and Rachael Taylor

[zomblequeen-deactivated20181123]

Favorite trope 348234: when person who nearly died wakes up in hospital bed, looks around, sees the object of their affection asleep in a chair next to them because they haven’t moved in days

[pantheraqueen]

I take you and raise you a found family scattered around the room because they have all been there for days and that couch is really small.

[zomblequeen-deactivated20181123]

GOOD ADDITION. GOOD ADDITION

[nastasyafilippovnas]

[stydixa]

No Strings Attached (2011) Dir. Ivan Reitman

[jesse-spencer]

[gotanyotherbadideas]

someone should create a modern day marauders rp where i can play regulus black as a defector so i don’t have to make it myself.  i don’t graphics so i need someone to do me a solid and make the thing.

[idkwhatiwannado]

✉

[gotanyotherbadideas]

2 LILY EVANS DRABBLES

in which james scares the shite out of lily

While in school, Lily had been a prefect and then Head Girl.  She had taken as many OWL and NEWT level classes as was possible to account for any possible career choices, since she couldn’t settle on just one.  She had spent countless nights sitting up at a table in the Common Room, more than once falling asleep on her work and waking only when one of her roommates crept down the stairs to wake her for breakfast.  None of this, though, ever sent her to bed with the kind of exhaustion her days did now.  When she set foot in her flat these days, it was all she could do to keep from collapsing into the cushy armchair near the fireplace and staying there until morning.   It had been like this ever since she joined the Order.  Her days hadn’t been easy before, what with the sneers and whispers that followed her through the Ministry, but ever since she’d put her lot in with the Order of the Phoenix, she couldn’t shake the idea that someone was always watching her.  She moved through her day with the hairs on the back of her neck on end and a constant feeling that something would go wrong.  She had never been more grateful to be a witch, to have apparition as a transportation option. The idea of walking home alone some nights was enough to make her sick to her stomach.   She apparated to the official spot, just a block away from her flat, and took the rest of her walk with deliberate speed.  The prickly feeling on the back of her neck wore on her nerves and she chastised herself for being so skittish about absolutely nothing.  She skipped quickly up the stairs to the small flat she rented above a sweet shop and let herself in.  The process, one that should have taken a quick tick, took her a solid minute as she fumbled with her keys. She’d put a few extra locks on the door, just as a precaution, in addition to the protection spells she’d placed over the flat as a whole.  Muggle raised witch, one precaution or the other didn’t do the trick and only when she employed both did she feel safe.   “You know, those locks won’t do much to keep a dark wizard out.  What kind of witch are you?” Lily’s heart leaped into her throat and she literally jumped several inches in the air.  It was only because the voice was so irritatingly familiar that the hex on her lips didn’t leave the tip of her wand, though she’d raised it into position.   “Great bloody hell!”  Her breath came in ragged gasps, her body fighting to regain equilibrium after her fright.  A hand fluttered to her chest, as if it’s weight there would slow the galloping of her heart.  She almost regretted not throwing the hex anyway, despite the fact that the intruder slouched with annoying nonchalance at her kitchen table was technically considered a friend.   “James Potter what in the name of Merlin’s saggy tits are you doing here?” she snapped, turning on the lights and stalking into the kitchen with a glare that could peel the paint off the walls.  "I ought to hex you from here to next Tuesday for scaring me like that.  How did you even get in here?“   "You asked me to help you set these wards, remember?” he said with a roll of his eyes that caused her to grind her teeth.   “With the assumption that you’d have the decency to bloody well knock before making yourself at home.”  Her temper rose as she resolutely refused to look at him, instead taking a glass from one of the cabinets and pouring herself a glass of water.   “I did knock.  No one answered.”  He said it as if letting himself in were the most logical solution and her grip on the glass in her hand tightened.  She didn’t dignify his reasoning with a response and instead of taking the hint, he took it as an invitation to carry on.  "I just wanted to make sure you knew about the Order meeting tomorrow.“   She raised an incredulous eyebrow, finally turning to face him and leaning back against the counter top.   "You couldn’t send note by owl?  Or Floo?  Or, I don’t know, wait outside instead of scaring me more than half to death?”  Anyone else would have missed the extremely brief flash of guilt that crossed his features before it was replaced with his normal smirk.  Lily wasn’t anyone else, though, and as he stood, she finally began to relax.   “I’m sorry, Evans.  I didn’t mean to give you such a scare.  I just thought it would be a good surprise.” It was her turn to roll her eyes, her nerves finally under control.  "And see, that’s why you weren’t a Ravenclaw.“    

in which lily owls sirius when she is desperate

The cobblestones were moving.  She knew it was impossible that the cobblestones were moving but they were.  She was in a muggle village, there was no way a witch or wizard would be making the cobblestones move and yet, as she stood upon them, they shifted her off balance.  No one could tell her that the cobblestones weren’t moving.   Hands gripped her shoulders, hands she hadn’t seen coming.  Not that that was surprising.  Her gaze was riveted to the amazing moving cobblestones and she hadn’t seen the familiar wizard approaching, having received an unexpected owl from one Lily Evans asking him to meet her near her home and to please not tell James.  The sudden movement startled her and her head snapped up to see the face attached to the hands.  “Sirius!” An impossibly wide smile crossed her lips as she recognized him. "Evans,” he said after a pause, an amused smirk on his lips and one eyebrow raised questioningly at the thoroughly intoxicated redhead standing in front of him. “Everything alright?” “Everything is brilliant,” she assured, not swaying a bit as the pavement beneath her feet suffered another moment of instability, thanks to his hands. “Just came from dinner with my sister. Well, with my parents and my sister. My sister didn’t actually want me there at all but Mum invited me. She’s engaged you know.” As she began to ramble, alcohol fueling her speech until it sped up at least twice her normal speed, she pulled herself from his hold and made her way to the low wall lining the small road they stood on. “My sister I mean. Not my mum. Because that would be ridiculous.” She giggled absently at the idea before continuing. “She announced it tonight. She brought him over to meet mum and dad. He’s a great huge thing, all pink and blonde he looks like a pig. A pig in a suit!” A laugh interrupted her speech and she found herself leaning against the wall, grateful for it’s stability. “We toasted the couple and we toasted marriage and love and then I just kept toasting. Do you know, I never really liked champagne but it’s really growing on me.” Hand gliding over the rough stones of the wall, Lily began to meander along it’s length.  She didn’t look back to see if Sirius was following, sure that he would and not particularly worried if he didn’t. “But the night, it was just dead boring. All talk of work and cars and wedding plans and my sister looking at me out of the side of her eyes like she was waiting for me to sprout a tail and fly away cackling, scaring her precious Vernon off into the night.” Disdain laced her last few sentences. “So I thought, since I was feeling too brilliant to end the night, that I needed to see someone who knew how to have fun and who knows how to have fun better than you?” She spun to point at him as she said the word you and tripped over her own feet, stumbling until he steadied her. “You really must get this floor fixed, it’s a hazard,” she said through laughs she barely tried to control anymore. “It really was a waste of a good night,” she went on. “Wasted with my sister. You know, i actually thought she wanted me there tonight. That’s what my mum told me. But when I got there her eyes got all wide and she went paler than normal which is impressive since she might as well have skin the same color as snow and I knew mum had made it up.” It was harder for her now to keep her words light and filled with laughter. They became drawn and tired and then she was quiet. She pulled away from the hands that had steadied her, wandering again but this time without the manic energy. “She looks at me like I’m some kind of freak. Like any minute I’m going to do something terrifying and embarrassing. My own sister. Can you imagine?” And she remembered, he could. It came back to her then, why she’d owled Sirius instead of Marlene or Remus. This companion. Because no one understood like Sirius what it meant to have your family turn their back on you. She turned to him again, this time slow enough not to lose her balance, and he could see the tears that had formed in her eyes. “What am I supposed to do?"  

[idkwhatiwannado]

Letter from Rose to James after Christmas? :D

[idkwhatiwannado]

✉

[gotanyotherbadideas]

lily evans headcanon

End of term exams were coming up on Lily with a speed she hadn’t anticipated and more and more often she found herself sitting up in the Heads’ Common Room surrounded by books until she fell asleep where she sat, exhausted from the strain.  Unfortunately, as her stress increased her ability to sleep weakened and many nights ended with a bleary eyes Head Girl looking out over the grounds as the sun rose for a new day.  

Petunia’s wedding was coming up and James had promised he’d go with her.  They were meeting her sister and soon to be brother in law for dinner before the wedding and Lily could hardly breath when she thought of it. Attacks on muggle borns and muggles had increased in frequency over the past weeks and the fear that had invaded the magical world was slowly and surely working it’s way into school.  Things with Sev were getting worse.  The closer she and James became, the harder it was for she and Sev to go more than a few minutes without fighting.  Stress surrounded her like a dark cloud and she could only distract herself from it by burying herself in work into the wee hours of the morning.

The sound of James’ dorm door closing caused her head to snap up in surprise.  It was well on it’s way to three am and no one should have been coming out of that door.  

“Didn’t mean to startle you,” Sirius said, not exactly apologetically as he noticed Lily’s surprise.  No one took kindly to being surprised at three in the morning, after all, and certainly not if they were already on edge.  

“It’s fine,” she said after a moment, as her heart settled back into a normal rhythm.  She looked back down to her books but the words that had been clear before now swam before her tired eyes.  

“Can’t sleep?"  

His voice didn’t startle her this time but gave her a distraction from the swimming words.  She pursed her lips before she answered, shaking her head.  "Haven’t tried yet,” she admitted.  “Too much to study, exams are coming too quickly."  And she already knew she wouldn’t be able to manage it if she did try. "You?”

“Dreams again.,” was all he said.  It was all he needed to say.  

Silence fell between them, not uncomfortable but heavy.  They’d long ago  stopped feeling awkward around one another.  Lily sat on the couch, books around her, and Sirius stood gazing into the fire she never let out.  If they were anyone else, they might ask if the other wanted to talk about what bothered them but they both knew better.  Knew that wouldn’t help.  

“I can’t make heads'r tails of this History assignment,” Lily said finally, looking back down to the swimming words and knowing that if anyone could clear them up, it was Sirius.  

He looked over at her and grinned, a knowing smile to match hers, and he nodded, coming over and clearing off the space beside her on the couch.  

Neither knew how long they studied for, how many questions Lily asked and Sirius patiently answered.  As the chill in the air grew, Sirius pulled a blanket around them and as her legs cramped under her she draped them over his.  

Which was how James found them when he woke the next morning.  Two morning birds, asleep later than he’d ever seen.  Her head on his chest, his head on her shoulder.  A book lay forgotten in her lap, the blanket wrapped around their bodies, finally slumped in a sleep desperately needed.

[gotanyotherbadideas]

a jily wedding scene

17 June, 1978

“I look like a cow."  Her voice floated over through the curtains to where Marlene and Mary sat waiting for her on the other side.  Marlene rolled her eyes, slumping lower into her overly fluffy chair but Mary just grinned wider.

"It’s utterly impossible that you look like a cow, Lily now come out so we can see."  

She didn’t answer but a moment later she pulled the curtain aside, standing before them with shoulders slumped and her face twisted up in a look of disgust.  Mary, to her credit, smiled kindly.  Marlene lapsed into a fit of giggles the moment she could see Lily.  

"Cow was putting it lightly,” she said breathlessly through her laughter, avoiding the smack Mary gave her arm as Lily balked and retreated again behind the curtain.  

“This is hopeless,” she called from behind her barrier, staring at her image in the mirror and cataloging all the things that were wrong with this, the fifth dress she had tried on.  None of them were right, none of them were her.  And it was the same here as it had been at the three other muggle shops they’d visited, at Madame Malkin’s, and at Gladrags.  It was hopeless.  

“It’s not hopeless, Lils."  Marlene’s voice was close as she slipped behind the curtain to help Lily out of yet another dress.  "You’re just picky.”

“I just want it to be perfect, Marly."  Lily’s eyes met those of her best friend in the mirror and seeing her expression, Marlene laid her hands on Lily’s shoulders and rested her cheek against Lily’s freckle covered one.  

"It will be.  Because you are marrying James Potter.  And he is going to be speechless no matter what you wear."  

"Girls?” Mary stuck her head in, interrupting their quiet moment.  “I found it."  

Twenty minutes later - getting into wedding gowns was not an easy feat - Lily pulled the curtain open again.  Marlene sat up straight in her seat and Mary’s smile was worlds beyond sweet.  Lily herself was beaming.

It was pretty in the shop but it was nothing compared to the way LIly looked with white flowers braided into crimson hair, lace covering the fair skin of her chest freckles peeking through the transparent material in the still warm September air when she walked down the aisle, arm looped through Remus’ who was grinning at the stupid happy look on his best friend’s face.  A blush colored her cheeks when she took in James’ face and she winked at Mary, who had indeed found it.

[gotanyotherbadideas]

a jily wedding scene

“‘The course of true love never did run smoothly.’”

“William Shakespeare wrote that in his play A Midsummer Night’s Dream.  For those of you who, like James, have never heard of Shakespeare…read a book.”

“I wrote these vows twice,” she went on when the chuckles had subsided.  “The first were witty, filled with jokes and quips but then I thought, James has that covered.  He makes me laugh every day, bring joy and light and hilarity to my life.  He does humor better than me and rather than try and do the same, I figured I’d do the opposite.  So pardon me, everyone, while I try and make him cry."  

"I never wanted to fall in love with you, James.  We’ve known each other for eight years and for over half of those years I wanted nothing to do with you. But you, my sweet soon to be husband, are more stubborn even than I am and you didn’t take my many many no’s for an answer.  When other people in my life turned away from me and broke my heart, you were always there, stubbornly refusing to leave me alone.”

She was smiling at that, though a bit sadly, and her hands gripped his tighter than anyone could see but which he could certainly feel.  

“One day I realized I had stopped trying to avoid you and had started trying not to love you.  And then one year ago, on this day, you scared the hell out of me.  You fell in love with me and I have never felt more terrified of anything in my life.  Because no one has ever loved me like you do, James."  Tears glistened in her eyes but she refused to let them fall before she was finished.

"No one has had the indecency to love me even when I didn’t want them to, to stand by my side when I tried to push them away.  You love so deeply, deeper than anyone I have ever known.  You put your whole life force into it and that is terribly frightening.  I thought I would drown under that much devotion, that I didn’t deserve it and wouldn’t be able to keep my head above water.”

“I’ve never been more grateful for someone to completely ignore me when I told them to do something.  I didn’t think I could ever love another person the way you loved me but I was wrong, James.  Because I love you so much I can’t breath when I think about it.  I haven’t stopped being scared, haven’t stopped wondering how two people go through life with this hanging over them, I’ve simply given up trying to stop it."  

”'The course of true love never did run smoothly,’ but if it had been easy from the start I wouldn’t be so sure or so thrilled that I do love you.  Truly, completely, and with all of my heart.“

[idkwhatiwannado]

Are you ready for the feels? :P "Did I ever matter?"

“Did I ever matter?”

The words cut through her like knives, each one slicing in into a mere fraction of herself.  How could he ask her that.  How could he for one second believe that he didn’t matter.  Because you’re telling him he didn’t, a part of her mind pointed out.  And, as much as she hated it, it was true. 

“Of course you mattered, James.”  Her voice sounded frantic, racing through time and space to try and make her point in a way he would understand it and a way that would make him see things as she did.  “That’s the point."  Tears streamed down her face as she spoke, and she’d long since stopped trying to keep up with wiping them away.

You’re not making any sense, the rational part of her mind argued.  You know it and he knows it.  But she didn’t see another option.  Every part of her hurt.  Every nook and cranny of her body and mind ached with loss and she couldn’t imagine ever recovering from it.  More than that, she couldn’t imagine healing this pain and then feeling it rip through her all over again.  Better to push him away now, before she lost him to something else.

That’s the nature of war, she was learning.  Nothing is safe, nothing is guaranteed.  To let yourself love is to let yourself be destroyed.  She’d locked the doors to her room in her parent’s home for days after the funeral, refusing to see her her friends…or her fiancé.  And when she finally did let James in, it was to break his heart.

Better this way, though, than to be killed and force him to feel the pain she felt now.  The pain he’d felt when his mother died.  Better this way than to be woken at two in the morning to the news that she would never see his stupid smile or messy hair every again.  Better to close herself off to the possibility of more pain like what she felt now before she let it get any worse. 

Her arms wrapped around themselves as her body shook, shivering but not from cold.  "I don’t know what else to do, James,” she said, the urgency in her voice being replaced by a raw exhausted strain.  “I can’t - I can’t do this again.  I can’t feel this again.  And you - you would do this to me.  I would do this to you.  And I can’t."  She was rambling, forgetting to breath as her thoughts became words without any filter or pause.  She shifted her weight on her feet as she spoke, taking a mindless step here and there, until one step and one shiver joined to weaken her knees and she lost her balance, crumpling to the floor.

She didn’t bother to push herself up, leaning instead against the couch, gripping it like it was an anchor, the only thing left that could hold her together. 

[gotanyotherbadideas]

MY WHOLE GODDAMN KINGDOM FOR AN AU RP WHERE I CAN PLAY REGULUS BLACK DEFECTING FROM THE DEATH EATERS.