Spidey NOT Robin

Magic Anon: none at the moment

[gothams-favorite-spider]

HELLO!!

ok, let's do this again,

My name is Peter Parker, I was born in metropolis to my parents, Richard and Mary Parker. They died in a plane crash when I was 4, but I don't really remember them. So, I moved to Gotham with my Aunt and Uncle, I love them, my Uncle Ben taught me about science and how to ride a bike and really anything else a boy needs to know, to be kind and especially the best quotes from Star Wars. When I was 15 my school E.C greive memorial high school, we took a field trip to Luthercorp in Metropolis, where I was bitten by a radioactive Spider... I couldn't save uncle Ben... and it was my fault, so now I save everyone else. My name is Peter Parker, and for the last two years, I have been Gotham City's one and only Spider-Man.

🕷️🕸️basic info🕸️🕷️

Age: 17

AVERAGE height

birthday: August 10th

sexuality: bi??? Maybe, idk

🧪Asks are open to all, just please don't be creepy, Arkham only has so much room.

🧬I'll answer as soon as I can!!! But bare with me, between school and superhero-ing, (is superhero-ing a word? Maybe, idk I'll check later) I'm a fairly busy arachnid

❤️❤️my lovely bf: @totallytimdrake🥰🥰

Mod notes:

🕸️: characterization is a mix of The movies and comics, with a lot of inspiration from the MCU, but obviously he is in the DC universe, he will be mainly the same as Marvel Peter just surrounded by different people.

🕸️I'm open to familial or platonic connections, just ask me privately if you want to be tagged.

🕸️Romantic rp is iffy, but as long as you talk it out with me beforehand, maybe

🕸️: mun is <18, feel free to interact no matter what age, but please please nothing nsfw or romantic if you're over 18, please and thank you

🕸️:DMs and ask box are open, I'm free to chat, suggestive comments are fine, but please please please keep everything PG-13, 🙏 thank you

🕸️: ooc of character posts will be marked with an "OOC"

🕸️MUN: @starwarslovinglilguy

🕸️marvel universe spidey: @therealwebslinger

[irl-batsignal]

My favorite waterbottle has inspired me to drink more water

Go drink water

Drink a full cup

Everyone who reads this needs to go drink water RIGHT now

Go drink water

[theoriginal-robin-ofgotham]

Can I substitute it with battery acid.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

I approve

[brucetwayne-official]

I'm dating your son.

@gothams-favorite-spider

Which one? I’ve got a lot of those.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Timmy

[red-rob1n]

Please don't get set on fire by the most beloved person in Gotham

[gothams-favorite-spider]

I'm trying to not get set aflame

[red-rob1n]

Way to direct if you want to walk away with ur life

[gothams-favorite-spider]

you're right, I definitely should've said.

"Dear, Mr. Wayne. I, Spider-Man, like to inform you that me and your third born child known to the public under the name Timothy Jackson Wayne Drake, exchange pleasantries in a more than platonic manner on most days, going as far as exchanging saliva on some days. I am glad you now know this and hope you can come to accept me as your son's lover." better?

[red-rob1n]

Sigh. Your hopeless

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Nuh uh, I'm luring you in with my goofy loser boy charm

[red-rob1n]

You are...but that doesn't mean I can't call you out on it still

[gothams-favorite-spider]

can you really complain about something you enjoy?? Hmmmmm. Tell me that. Timothy

[red-rob1n]

I can when your not using it to be cute Parker

[gothams-favorite-spider]

I'm not using it to be cute rn, you just find me adorable and irresistible.

[red-rob1n]

Mmmm, you're lucky your so kissable

[gothams-favorite-spider]

awwwww, thanks babe. It's because I use chapstick, I'm sponsored. You're very kissable too, and I'm glad your dad probably likes me

[red-rob1n]

Mhm. Now, can I come over? He did tell us to "get a room"

[gothams-favorite-spider]

yesss come overrr. He did?!! Geez i didn't even notice, yeah come on id love for you to cone over.

[brucetwayne-official]

I'm dating your son.

@gothams-favorite-spider

Which one? I’ve got a lot of those.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Timmy

[red-rob1n]

Please don't get set on fire by the most beloved person in Gotham

[gothams-favorite-spider]

I'm trying to not get set aflame

[red-rob1n]

Way to direct if you want to walk away with ur life

[gothams-favorite-spider]

you're right, I definitely should've said.

"Dear, Mr. Wayne. I, Spider-Man, like to inform you that me and your third born child known to the public under the name Timothy Jackson Wayne Drake, exchange pleasantries in a more than platonic manner on most days, going as far as exchanging saliva on some days. I am glad you now know this and hope you can come to accept me as your son's lover." better?

[red-rob1n]

Sigh. Your hopeless

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Nuh uh, I'm luring you in with my goofy loser boy charm

[red-rob1n]

You are...but that doesn't mean I can't call you out on it still

[gothams-favorite-spider]

can you really complain about something you enjoy?? Hmmmmm. Tell me that. Timothy

[red-rob1n]

I can when your not using it to be cute Parker

[gothams-favorite-spider]

I'm not using it to be cute rn, you just find me adorable and irresistible.

[red-rob1n]

Mmmm, you're lucky your so kissable

[gothams-favorite-spider]

awwwww, thanks babe. It's because I use chapstick, I'm sponsored. You're very kissable too, and I'm glad your dad probably likes me

[brucetwayne-official]

I'm dating your son.

@gothams-favorite-spider

Which one? I’ve got a lot of those.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Timmy

[red-rob1n]

Please don't get set on fire by the most beloved person in Gotham

[gothams-favorite-spider]

I'm trying to not get set aflame

[red-rob1n]

Way to direct if you want to walk away with ur life

[gothams-favorite-spider]

you're right, I definitely should've said.

"Dear, Mr. Wayne. I, Spider-Man, like to inform you that me and your third born child known to the public under the name Timothy Jackson Wayne Drake, exchange pleasantries in a more than platonic manner on most days, going as far as exchanging saliva on some days. I am glad you now know this and hope you can come to accept me as your son's lover." better?

[red-rob1n]

Sigh. Your hopeless

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Nuh uh, I'm luring you in with my goofy loser boy charm

[red-rob1n]

You are...but that doesn't mean I can't call you out on it still

[gothams-favorite-spider]

can you really complain about something you enjoy?? Hmmmmm. Tell me that. Timothy

[red-rob1n]

I can when your not using it to be cute Parker

[gothams-favorite-spider]

I'm not using it to be cute rn, you just find me adorable and irresistible.

[brucetwayne-official]

I'm dating your son.

@gothams-favorite-spider

Which one? I’ve got a lot of those.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Timmy

[red-rob1n]

Please don't get set on fire by the most beloved person in Gotham

[gothams-favorite-spider]

I'm trying to not get set aflame

[red-rob1n]

Way to direct if you want to walk away with ur life

[gothams-favorite-spider]

you're right, I definitely should've said.

"Dear, Mr. Wayne. I, Spider-Man, like to inform you that me and your third born child known to the public under the name Timothy Jackson Wayne Drake, exchange pleasantries in a more than platonic manner on most days, going as far as exchanging saliva on some days. I am glad you now know this and hope you can come to accept me as your son's lover." better?

[red-rob1n]

Sigh. Your hopeless

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Nuh uh, I'm luring you in with my goofy loser boy charm

[red-rob1n]

You are...but that doesn't mean I can't call you out on it still

[gothams-favorite-spider]

can you really complain about something you enjoy?? Hmmmmm. Tell me that. Timothy

[timothyjdwayne]

ATTENTION ALL TIMS(and a few special guests!!)!!!

THIS IS IMPORTANT!

I, Timothy Drake and @totallytimdrake , are starting a sleepover inside the batcave, we'll have blankets, snacks, game boards, movies, music, etc.

If you'd like to join, please do come.

Invites:

@totallynotredrobin

@no-spleen-just-trauma

@red-rob1n

@let-me-spoil-you

@thegirlblunder-spoiler

@mimicking-songbird

@tired-baby-bird

@the-spleenless-wonder

@timothy-drake-way-wayne-robin

@timdwayne

[no-spleen-just-trauma]

Hell yeah >:D

[timothyjdwayne]

You can bring anything you'd like!

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Ohhhh nooo a room full of Tims whatever shall I do

[totallytimdrake]

All in favour of drawing on Peter's face please raise your hand.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Hey what if we don't do that

[totallytimdrake]

What if do. There's no harm in it if we do.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Uhhhhhhh fine, I accept my fate just please don't use like a tattoo gun

[totallytimdrake]

Good, you can not outrun the inevitable. Also, I was only going to use permanent markers.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

I can try. ...washable markers?

[totallytimdrake]

I guess we can use washable markers.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

siccccckk, I don't wanna go into school with like Harry Potter glasses and a beard drawn on

[timothyjdwayne]

ATTENTION ALL TIMS(and a few special guests!!)!!!

THIS IS IMPORTANT!

I, Timothy Drake and @totallytimdrake , are starting a sleepover inside the batcave, we'll have blankets, snacks, game boards, movies, music, etc.

If you'd like to join, please do come.

Invites:

@totallynotredrobin

@no-spleen-just-trauma

@red-rob1n

@let-me-spoil-you

@thegirlblunder-spoiler

@mimicking-songbird

@tired-baby-bird

@the-spleenless-wonder

@timothy-drake-way-wayne-robin

@timdwayne

[no-spleen-just-trauma]

Hell yeah >:D

[timothyjdwayne]

You can bring anything you'd like!

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Ohhhh nooo a room full of Tims whatever shall I do

[totallytimdrake]

All in favour of drawing on Peter's face please raise your hand.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Hey what if we don't do that

[totallytimdrake]

What if do. There's no harm in it if we do.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Uhhhhhhh fine, I accept my fate just please don't use like a tattoo gun

[totallytimdrake]

Good, you can not outrun the inevitable. Also, I was only going to use permanent markers.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

I can try. ...washable markers?

[brucetwayne-official]

I'm dating your son.

@gothams-favorite-spider

Which one? I’ve got a lot of those.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Timmy

[red-rob1n]

Please don't get set on fire by the most beloved person in Gotham

[gothams-favorite-spider]

I'm trying to not get set aflame

[red-rob1n]

Way to direct if you want to walk away with ur life

[gothams-favorite-spider]

you're right, I definitely should've said.

"Dear, Mr. Wayne. I, Spider-Man, like to inform you that me and your third born child known to the public under the name Timothy Jackson Wayne Drake, exchange pleasantries in a more than platonic manner on most days, going as far as exchanging saliva on some days. I am glad you now know this and hope you can come to accept me as your son's lover." better?

[red-rob1n]

Sigh. Your hopeless

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Nuh uh, I'm luring you in with my goofy loser boy charm

[timothyjdwayne]

ATTENTION ALL TIMS(and a few special guests!!)!!!

THIS IS IMPORTANT!

I, Timothy Drake and @totallytimdrake , are starting a sleepover inside the batcave, we'll have blankets, snacks, game boards, movies, music, etc.

If you'd like to join, please do come.

Invites:

@totallynotredrobin

@no-spleen-just-trauma

@red-rob1n

@let-me-spoil-you

@thegirlblunder-spoiler

@mimicking-songbird

@tired-baby-bird

@the-spleenless-wonder

@timothy-drake-way-wayne-robin

@timdwayne

[no-spleen-just-trauma]

Hell yeah >:D

[timothyjdwayne]

You can bring anything you'd like!

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Ohhhh nooo a room full of Tims whatever shall I do

[totallytimdrake]

All in favour of drawing on Peter's face please raise your hand.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Hey what if we don't do that

[totallytimdrake]

What if do. There's no harm in it if we do.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Uhhhhhhh fine, I accept my fate just please don't use like a tattoo gun

[timothyjdwayne]

ATTENTION ALL TIMS(and a few special guests!!)!!!

THIS IS IMPORTANT!

I, Timothy Drake and @totallytimdrake , are starting a sleepover inside the batcave, we'll have blankets, snacks, game boards, movies, music, etc.

If you'd like to join, please do come.

Invites:

@totallynotredrobin

@no-spleen-just-trauma

@red-rob1n

@let-me-spoil-you

@thegirlblunder-spoiler

@mimicking-songbird

@tired-baby-bird

@the-spleenless-wonder

@timothy-drake-way-wayne-robin

@timdwayne

[no-spleen-just-trauma]

Hell yeah >:D

[timothyjdwayne]

You can bring anything you'd like!

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Ohhhh nooo a room full of Tims whatever shall I do

[totallytimdrake]

All in favour of drawing on Peter's face please raise your hand.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Hey what if we don't do that

[totallytimdrake]

What if do. There's no harm in it if we do.

[timothyjdwayne]

ATTENTION ALL TIMS(and a few special guests!!)!!!

THIS IS IMPORTANT!

I, Timothy Drake and @totallytimdrake , are starting a sleepover inside the batcave, we'll have blankets, snacks, game boards, movies, music, etc.

If you'd like to join, please do come.

Invites:

@totallynotredrobin

@no-spleen-just-trauma

@red-rob1n

@let-me-spoil-you

@thegirlblunder-spoiler

@mimicking-songbird

@tired-baby-bird

@the-spleenless-wonder

@timothy-drake-way-wayne-robin

@timdwayne

[no-spleen-just-trauma]

Hell yeah >:D

[timothyjdwayne]

You can bring anything you'd like!

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Ohhhh nooo a room full of Tims whatever shall I do

[totallytimdrake]

All in favour of drawing on Peter's face please raise your hand.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Hey what if we don't do that

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

I've been magicked. I'm 14 again😭😭😭

@gothams-favorite-spider

so while that sucks, it could be worse. at least you’re not back in middle school….

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Yeahhhh but uhh who are you? And what happened to you in middle school, I mean it wasn't great for me either between bullies and and stuff but I was passing without trying

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

oh, right you wouldn't know me at 14 that makes sense. sorry. i'm jax, i'm a gcu student. in the future, you're dating my best friend's sibling. i think.... idk last i heard you were just crushing on him but i think it was just inevitable.

oh uh yk middle school just sucked for everyone. formative experiences and not a lot of fun and all that. it's nothing.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Ohhh ok, Hi Jax, it's nice to meet you. Ohh really, I have a girlfriend in the future??? I mean who would date me? Also why'd you say sibling? Wouldn't it just be their sister?? Inevitable? Like bound to happen?? I'm so confused.

yeahh true. Ok? You sure it's nothing?

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

nice to meet you, too! as far as i'm aware you've had at least one? maybe more?? and like i don't know identities and all that maybe there's some preferred pronouns i wasn't aware of or something to that effect. inevitable as in you guys were just like on the path towards getting together. i wasn't like implying some like destiny soulmates shit, just that you guys were likely to end up dating.

yea. nothing out of the ordinary! we're all good here.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Really? Geez when does that happen, never expected it to be honest, I'm just not the type of guy girls go for. Ohhh ok ok, yeah no soulmates is crazy. What's her name?

ok, just wondering.

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

i think later in high school. idk tho if you ever told me i don't remember it. how are you not? i mean ig idk what you look like but the whole heroics thing has to be attractive to someone??? her name? uhhh ... tammy. yea tammy, i think. idk i only really know her brother.

yea nope all good nothing to wonder about here!

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Ohhh cool! Yeah, well must not have lasted long if I never told you. Idk just what if feels like, well yeah but that kind of beats the whole anonymous superhero thing, also what's the point of superhero-ing if I'm doing it for attention. Tammy?...Tammy? I don't think I know a Tammy. How do you know her brother?

...ok buddy.

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

we also only started getting close recently so we don't really know that much about each other's lives. oh her brother works near one of the stores i frequent when i'm in school at gcu. you and tammy might not have met yet.

yup!

[gothams-favorite-spider]

ooooohhh ok ok. He sounds cool. Does he like me? Or does he hate me for dating his sister? well I hope we meet soon, what's she like??

👍👍

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

he does! and he is a super cool guy. tammy's great too she's very smart and affectionate. obviously you're gonna like her a lot.

🫡🫡🫡

[gothams-favorite-spider]

yippee! Awesome!! Oooohhh so I got lucky lucky, I mean obviously I'll like her, geez what type of guy would I be if I didn't like my gf.

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

yea it seems like a pretty good family. big tho, i don't even know all of them. the kind of guy you don't strike me as. you two are gonna be great tg don't even sweat it.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

oh wow geez, like a really big family? Like matching pajamas on Christmas Eve type big family? I hope I don't strike you as that, I try to be a good guy; I'm a good boy. Aww shucks, that's great, I can't wait to meet her... sometimes having a gf doesn't feel right though

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

tammy’s one of 5? but there’s a lot of family friends and most of the siblings have partners now so it feels like more. idk abt matching pajamas, can’t see them being able to coordinate that. nah you seem like a good dude at heart. and like you’re trying your best to act on that. ignoring the good boy comment ignoring the good boy comment ignoring the good boy comment…. wdym having a gf doesn’t feel right?

[gothams-favorite-spider]

geez! Holidays must be crazy, am I invited to them?? They should do matching Pajamas, it'd be fun. Awww thanks man, that's all I can hope for. What are you talking about? I was just saying I'm a good kid, follow the rules and stuff. Idk I mean like I want a gf I know that, every guy wants a gf, just sometimes feels like it's not right like it doesn't fit. But only every now and then

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

yk idk. before you became smol again, you guys were like somewhere between talking and actually getting tg. so maybe not yet? but i’m sure you will be if you weren’t alr. maybe you can get them to start lmao. yea you seem like a really good guy. i knew what you meant that’s why i’m not making the joke. it’s dumb anyway nvm. yk not every guy wants a gf right? not saying it means anything abt you specifically, you might just not be a big labels guy, but like i’m bisexual so i’d be super happy to be with a guy or a girl. and i know a bunch of gay and aroace guys who don’t want a gf bc they only like guys or don’t wanna date anyone at all. but you’re 14 dude you do not need to have all that shit figured out yet. if you wanna talk abt it lmk tho.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Ohhhh so I'm not actually dating anyone. Ok...

Thanks for not making the joke ig? Ohhhh I I don't know about that, that's uhh wow that's a lot, idk if I'm any of that, I don't think so anyways. Yeahh I I don't have anything figured out, I mean why start now. Oh ok, really?

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

i don't really know. you've dated in the past—er, my past, your future—though, i'm pretty sure. and you and tammy are pretty much dating at this point. idk tho. 🤷🏻‍♂️

don't mention it. yea idk it's just a couple thoughts i had idk. it's never too late or too early to start figuring yourself out. don't sweat it bro. yea of course! if you ever need to talk abt any of that i gotchu.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

ohhhh ok ok ok. That makes sense.

ok ok, yeahhh I'll start figuring it all out later, I got a lot on my plate already. Thanks, idk anything to talk about, at least not yet but thanks

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

yup! cool cool.

take your time with it, bro. it doesn't have to be a big thing unless you want it to be. have fun, first and foremost! yea all good! i'm here if you need me tho.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

cool cool cool cool cool cool cool no doubt no doubt

yeahhhh, I'll take my time and stuff and have fun with all blah blah blah. Nice to have someone though.

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

On one hand you're cool, on the other hand you're tall and I don't like that too much, why are you all the way up there?? Hmm what do you need all that room for? It's really suspicious, really it is.

-@gothams-favorite-spider

SPIDER-MAN!!! i think you’re awesome personally so idk bro.

i didn’t pick the height, it picked me. and the guys and girls dig it sooooooo….

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Aww thanks man, I try I try, maybe I should take a little trip into Central city sometime, I'm sure the Batfam can handle things down here for a bit.

yeah yeah whatever, tall person problems, what's the weather like up there? Do you watch Tall girl and feel seen?

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

they’ve been the sole protector of gotham (we all know the gcpd ain’t shit) for how long now??? they’ve gotta be able to compensate for one less pair of hands.

it’s nice i’m out of the gotham smog. sorry you don’t get to breathe my clean air. more than i would feel seen reading your comics. but you’re dating bernard now right? so representation points there, at least.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

true, yeah they'll be fine. I might come up for a bit. Affording a hotel might be a bit challenging though, this hero stuff doesn't exactly pay. And Bats isn't too Keen on me selling photos of him, the batkids, and me to the Gotham Gazette

shut up, you're mean. Yeah me and Bernard are together. Bi rep at least 🌈

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

i mean if you’re okay w being in civvies around me you can crash at mine. i’ll just tell the fam you’re a friend from school 🫡

shut up, you started it. ayyyyyy good for you! as a fellow bi king i appreciate that 🌈🏳️‍🌈

[gothams-favorite-spider]

siccck, sure sounds good, I wake up late so I hope that's ok.

nuh uh you started it. Yes yes feel appreciated. Next time I do something I'll say "this is for the girls and the gays and Jax"

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

yea you’re good bro. i do too when i can. are you sure you’re okay with me seeing your face/potentially finding out your secret identity?

YOU texted ME to complain about my height. thanks thanks i do. well i’ll be out there advocating for my girls gays theys and spider-man.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

...I'll see if Batman has one of those men in black flashlight thingies. But like as long as you can keep your mouth shut I'm sure it'll be fine.

shhh shh shh let's not bring up things we know are lies. Yes yes advocate for the people and the gay spiders.

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

spidey, i’m bi. being able to keep a secret is kinda part of being in the closet as a masc presenting dude. your secret is safe with me.

blah blah blah i can and will post receipts. we stan gay spiders in this house.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Sick! I beleive you. I didn't know you were closeted, I accept you twin.

what receipts, you're crazy. Yes yes thank you, you gotta get rid of all your big spray now, even though spiders aren't bugs.

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

yea i gotchu boss. 🫡 oh im not anymore. not in gotham but i grew up in the midwest so….

those receipts.

i don’t actually know if i own any bug spray? i usually just take spiders outside. yk, cup + index card combo, all that.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

ohhh ok, I get it, grew up in Gotham so ya know coming out wasn't my worst problem.

I don't see anything, idk what you're talking about.

I'm getting war flashbacks from you saying cup and index card.

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

bro had to hit the “i’m bi. riddler tried to blow up my school today” combo 😭

maybe get your eyes checked then, arachnid boy. all eight of them.

hello why????

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Yeah pretty much, my favorite field trip was when we practiced what we would do in case there was a bomb threat.

excuse me?? I only have 2 eyes and they work perfectly fine now.

spider, duh

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

we have metahuman attack drills in central. meanwhile the rest of america complains about active shooter drills…. like those are bad and we shouldn’t have them obvs but that’s the least of our worries here dude.

eight eyes bc spider and 8 legs 8 eyes whatever. wdym “now”???

you’re not an actual spider tho under there right? i just thought you were like a vaguely spider-based meta?

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Real yeah we had both in Gotham.

my eyes didn't work before I got bit, I needed thick ahh glasses.

maybe I am, we'll find out whenever I visit, maybe I got crazy mandibles and stuff

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

it’s just so strange that a fire drill was the least of my worries as a kid bro

oh that’s nice that it did that actually.

that would be hard to explain to my family but i could figure something out, i’m sure.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

yeah now I gotta like stop terrorists, which is great I'm glad I'm doing it but like I still got homework

yeah, don't know why, I don't think Spiders often fix eyesight but like whatever.

Yeah, but it'd be weird at dinner once I start spitting acid on my food to dissolve it😕

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

sounds like a lot of responsibility. and i thought just having homework was bad….

wouldn’t be the first seemingly unrelated ailment that superpowers have cured.

yea but i’m pretty sure you don’t do that, right?

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Yeahhh but it's whatever, I've gotten used to it.

true, the miracle drug of the 21st century.

You'll just have to find out I guess

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

“used to it” “used to it” why aren’t you guys ever normal about anything

i guess so lol

i mean sure why not 🤷🏻‍♂️

[gothams-favorite-spider]

I'm so normal what are you talking about? Mr. "I can fix him" over here calling me weird

It's all fun and games until I accidentally dissolve your counter

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

who are you talking to right now?

yikes pretty sure my parents wouldn’t appreciate that.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

You buddy. Don't play with me.

yeah, we'll just have to seee what happens 🤷🏼‍♂️

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

i’m not the one just saying things over here.

i guess we will 🤷🏻‍♂️

[gothams-favorite-spider]

sure

we'll find out

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

i’m not. all you.

we will.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

we shall

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

sophisticated guy i see.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

I am indeed. I am a smart fellah, not a fart smellah.

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

and it’s gone….

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Shut up you're mean. I'm so smart.

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

you are smart you’re just not allowed to claim to be sophisticated after the “fart smellah” comment.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

I never said I was sophisticated, I am very "uncouth" according to Alfred, and I respect him more than anybody except my aunt May.

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

right, so, you were saying?

[gothams-favorite-spider]

dang; I forgot about that. Probably on account of all the head injuries I receive on a daily basis. Nah it's fine

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

so admittedly that sounds kinda bad. however! i trust that you take better care of yourself than the others?

[gothams-favorite-spider]

yeah, it's fine though, super healing and all that. Uhh not really, the batfam has Alfred who's medically trained, and can actually afford hospital bills. But I can't put my aunt May through that not with everything she's already gone through. And besides I've learned how to stitch up my own wounds, I'll lick em and get back up. Best I can do

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

you supers give me a headache. so that’s not actual medical care. you need actual medical care. you know that right? it’s important to me that you know that.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Supering gives me the aches too lol I mean it's close enough right, I have super healing, I can like take a stab wound and it'll be better in a week. I know it's just not the most important thing, other things are more important

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

yea i bet. you should be taking care of that. no. it’s not close at all. like what??? what is more important than making sure you’re alive and fully functional to attend to the other things???

[gothams-favorite-spider]

i have some Advil, that's working overtime lol. Look it's fine ok. I'm not some kid running around in a costume; I know what I'm doing. Jax don't worry about me, ok? I'm fine. And what would you know about hero work?

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

you just told me you aren't taking care of yourself. i dont care how old or mature you think you are, someone's gotta have your back and be making sure you're getting the help and care you need. sorry for trying to help but you swung your way into my life. and as for what i know about hero work i watch red hood and red robin and nightwing and all the others run themselves into the ground day in and day out without any regard for their own wellbeing. i've seen heroes die. my fault for not wanting to repeat the experience.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Oh uhh shit. I don't know what to say, wow that's more than I expected. Thanks for not wanting me to die I guess.

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

yea no argument to that, huh? damn straight.

and for the record, you're welcome kid. it's always nice to know there's someone looking out for you.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

yeahh, I didn't know you cared so much or at all to be honest 😬.

yeahhh it is, little scary though I mean I don't wanna disappoint them.

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

why wouldn't i? you do good for the city and you're a good guy. plus you're coming to stay with me in central so we're officially friends now.

disappoint me? good luck, kid. i see what you do out there, i'll never not be impressed. worried as hell for your wellbeing, maybe but never not impressed.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

aww shucks. I mean I hoped we were Friends.

thanks man, i gotta lot of friends, but never actually heard that from anyone but red so thanks.

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

well then, you're in luck. we are!

it's no big deal, kid. i wish your other friends were nicer to you though. you deserve the world, dude.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

yippee!

my friends are nice! We just don't talk about this type of stuff, i'm not a big fan of "oh bro I love you so much" serious talk type stuff. I usually avoid the ooey gooey mushy stuff. Thanks man

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

who do you talk about this kind of thing with then??? oop. well.... i am. of course, bro!

[gothams-favorite-spider]

idk, like no one I guess. Yeah I can tell.

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

well, good thing i showed up!!!! yup that's me! i can also do lighter less emotional stuff but i will be looking after you from time to time, just fair warning.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

yeah glad you showed up, I'm fine with that. It'll be nice to have someone looking after me, in my corner and such

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

i am most definitely in your corner. if nothing else, you’re bi and that’s enough for me to want to have your back.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

you can be my guy with the water bottle when I get beat up in the ring. I like that that's all it takes for you. This implies that you have Obi-Wan Kenobi's back as well as Grand Moff Tarkin's

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

hell yea! why am i excited abt being a glorified waterboy? well if we don’t have each other’s backs we’re easier to oppress. i thought tarkin was just gay? and besides he’s a fascist, that excludes him from the solidarity.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

no no he's not a water boy, more like the hype man...who happens to have a water bottle. True true, and I mean it's our job as cis white men to use our privilege for the betterment of others and we can't do that if we don't got eachother's backs. He is but I assume your umbrella extends to the gays, it'd be weirder if it didn't. Mmmm good good. But Luke still gets solidarity though, right? (Since he is canonically lgbt in Disney canon) and that one girl who had a crush on Ahsoka in the Ahsoka novel

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

i can settle for being hype man. hell yea it is, spider-man! oh well i was talking specifically about bisexual solidarity but yes under the broader lgbtq+ solidarity umbrella, pretty much anyone who’s not a perpetrator of oppression is included. also. back tf up. i think i missed smth. since when is luke lgbt that’s dope as hell!!!!

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Yippee!! I'll put a cardboard cut out of you in my Spider-Cave with a big sign that says "you can do it!" Ohhhh ok ok, well in that case we still have Rosa Diaz to protect us. Makes sense makes sense, pretty low bar but ok. Yeah there's a little story or something where Luke gets stuck in a cave on both with another rebel and he's noting his appearance and meditating with him, all the normal Jedi crush things and it's canon as a mutual crush between the two men

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

you have a spider-cave? does batman actually live in a fucking cave then? i thought that was just some stupid rumor??? yea i guess we do. the bar has to be pretty low or you start leaving people behind. again, we'll never get anywhere if we don't have each other's backs. yo that's so cool i didn't know about that!!!

[gothams-favorite-spider]

yes it's filled with webs and it's where I build gadgets and catch prey (bad guys). True. Exactly exactly, I love my Star Wars knowledge

[gcus-biggest-lax-star]

i mean sure, why not. don't you usually catch the bad guys like on the streets? in the act and all that? not important, anyway.

yes bro we need to have like a nerd sesh sometime.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

exactly I catch theives just like flies.

hear me out bro, We play Lego Star Wars, I know I know I'm a genius.

[brucetwayne-official]

I'm dating your son.

@gothams-favorite-spider

Which one? I’ve got a lot of those.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Timmy

[red-rob1n]

Please don't get set on fire by the most beloved person in Gotham

[gothams-favorite-spider]

I'm trying to not get set aflame

[red-rob1n]

Way to direct if you want to walk away with ur life

[gothams-favorite-spider]

you're right, I definitely should've said.

"Dear, Mr. Wayne. I, Spider-Man, like to inform you that me and your third born child known to the public under the name Timothy Jackson Wayne Drake, exchange pleasantries in a more than platonic manner on most days, going as far as exchanging saliva on some days. I am glad you now know this and hope you can come to accept me as your son's lover." better?

[therealjohnnystorm]

You guys really missed me that much? Aw gee, I’m blushing 😉

[therealwebslinger]

HIIII johnny, you dissapeared for years you don't deserve your name capitalized

[therealjohnnystorm]

Come on, Webs! Don’t be like that! ☹️

[therealwebslinger]

"Oh I'm gonna be gone for a bit" and then you went on a quest long enough to rival Frodo's.

[therealjohnnystorm]

I don’t control how long the missions are, man😒

[gothams-favorite-spider]

you're telling me you couldn't've sent like a postcard from mars or something?

[brucetwayne-official]

I'm dating your son.

@gothams-favorite-spider

Which one? I’ve got a lot of those.

[gothams-favorite-spider]

Timmy

[red-rob1n]

Please don't get set on fire by the most beloved person in Gotham

[gothams-favorite-spider]

I'm trying to not get set aflame