Sweet Mother I Cannot Weave @gothmacabre - Tumblr Blog

Be careful princess 🌸

I just love that multiple people not only though “the black one is a princess and those are her bodyguards” but also came to the conclusion “they’re also, obviously, samurai.”

gehe-lihiyot-androgynos-varda-d

Smh, why do all these samurai have only one sword?

ace-trainer-risu

Craft stores are just like "can I interest you in some...objects? some items? would you like some things?" and every time I'm like Oooh I love objects and items and things!

madseance

#i black out the second i enter a michael's and come to like an hour later with three bags full of beads and 5lbs of fake birds

yesterdaysprint

Evansville Press, Indiana, February 5, 1912

anemonequeen-moved

it’s a leap yeap

morganoperandi

My nightmare: making a typo that people are still talking about over a century later

40ouncesandamule

Happy leap yeap!

riippuliitaja

Mitä cybershop yrittää kertoo

pikestaff

aprillikesthings

Things about boobs that everyone should know

Because I just keep finding out people don't know these things!

Most boobs "sag."

Actually, on that note: very very few people have the stereotypically perfect breasts that are round and perky and don't touch your ribcage/belly. Here is an entire gallery of non-sexualized, perfectly normal breasts. Here is another one, but in one image. There's an incredible range of size and shape!

Also related: very few people fit those molded foam-cup bras. Because very few people have a boob that shape. "Then why are those kinds of bras everywhere??" Because they're cheap to make and they hide your nipples.

Your "armpit fat" is probably not armpit fat. It is probably your tail of spence, and you have lymph nodes there. Some people have a bigger or smaller tail of spence, and it has very little to do with how fat you are or how big your boobs are. (Some bras can press on it or pinch it uncomfortably, like balconettes.)

When you lie on your back, your boobs will go into your armpits. That is true of EVERYONE WITH BOOBS, with the exception of some implants. Boobs are squishy! This also means that like, lying on your side will cause them to flop over. If that's uncomfortable when you're trying to sleep, there is such a thing as "sleep bras."

Lots of people's boobs get bigger and/or painful before their period starts. Some people gain an entire cup size every month.

Whether or not you wear bras has no effect on "sagging." The one "study" on this that was written about everywhere extremely badly done. The one exception: If you do the kind of exercise that has you jumping around/jogging a lot, and you don't wear a supportive-enough bra, it's possible you can injure the cooper's ligaments. But also: that would hurt, a lot.

Bras also have no effect on whether you get breast cancer.

Everyone has one boob that's bigger than the other. It's just a matter of degree.

The size of your boobs has nothing to do with whether or not you've had sex???? I'm stunned that there are people that believe this, but I've heard multiple people say they had relatives who absolutely believed this--refused to buy teenagers the correct size bra because "only sluts wear D-cups," or insisted a thirteen-year-old was "fast" because of breast growth during puberty...good lord.

It's possible for AMAB people to breast-feed--they have the same mammary glands AFAB people do! Some hormonal issues can cause people (both AFAB and AMAB) who haven't given birth to lactate, but also there's a few cases where transgender women have been given the same hormones that AFAB people's bodies make during pregnancy/lactation, and voila! Breast milk!

(I very intentionally didn't go into bra sizing with this post, but yes, if you hate your bras, you are probably wearing the wrong size and/or style for you. That's a much more finicky topic though, so I'm just going to point out that the letter doesn't mean anything about boob size by itself, D isn't big, and Victoria's Secret's "fittings" are garbage. For more info, go to the subreddit for r/abrathatfits, or try their size calculator.)

roach-works

because ive seen this in published fiction:

boobs do NOT swell with arousal the way a penis increases when erect. the nipples can tighten, harden, and become more sensitive, but it's still not a 1:1 erection situation.

boobs change size over the course of a menstrual cycle, not a single sexual encounter.

if a woman's boobs look bigger because she's horny, it's because she's adjusting her posture and her clothes to emphasize the amount of boob she already has.

ampervadasz

alexaloraetheris

Ah, they're probably coming up next! I don't recognise the performance off the top of my head, but doing ballet is HELLISHLY INTENSE and doing it without your muscles througly warmed up is just asking for injured tendrons. In between scenes the dancers literally can't sit still for too long or their muscles will cool down, or worse, cramp up, and if they're not changing costumes they're usually stretching, vigorously massaging their legs and, like here, bouncing around to the tune.

So this is a perfectly natural ballerina behavior. They're just keeping warm and bonding. 👍

curlicuecal

I love how the last line has the exact cadence of a "is the ballerina video cute" blog

these ballerinas are not distressed and this in fact good enrichment for ballerinas when confined outside their natural habitat (the stage)

maryreadings

obsessed with this silly tiger

luimnigh

Okay, here's my idea:

The British should put a time limit on the Monarchy.

Not like declaring a republic tomorrow, but deciding on a date in the future that ends the British Monarchy.

And there's a perfect date for it coming up!

October 14th, 2066.

A thousand years since the Battle of Hastings. A thousand years of this one specific bloodline ruling England.

Call time on the Monarchy after exactly one thousand years. Nice, and neat.

Even better: Charles isn't living 44 years. He'll be gone in about twenty. Now William? He's what, 40? Yeah, he can live another 44 years. His great grandmother was over a hundred, his granny was 96, William can make it to 84 barring accident or assassination.

So on October 14th 2066, William the Last steps down a thousand years after William the First won the crown.

Nice, neat, and fair. William gets the crown he's been waiting forty years for already, but ten-year-old George grows up without expectation of it.

Have a nice big abdication ceremony, even.

lasrina

Plus, what an absolute baller move to announce your regnal name as William the Last.

roach-works

the Final Bill

embervoices

This is actually a really good idea, I think.

beardedmrbean

rockshitty

Gandalf throwing his staff at gollum is what really makes this

captain-snark

Thank you for commenting because I was going to scroll past this.

bunjywunjy

yesterday for April Fool’s my workplace had a short training article on recognizing computer-generated faces from real ones and one of the tricks mentioned was “count the teeth” and I just wanted to say that it’s both ironic and kind of horrifying how society has unwittingly cycled right back to IF YE MEET A MAN ON THE ROAD, COUNT HIS FINGERS LEST YE DEAL UNKNOWING WITH A FAE

exigencelost

Where’s that image with the self driving car that is trapped in a salt circle made of “do not cross” symbols that its software won’t let it disobey

shiobookmark

This one?

fallwithdrawals

Vintage Ghost Holding Candle Horror Poster

cuties-in-codices

armour and intimacy

illustrations in a "gladiatoria" manuscript, bavaria/austria, ca. 1450

source: Krakow, Bibl. Jagiellońska, Berol. mgq 16, fol. 46v, 16r, 47r, and 57v

recently-reanimated

Her: did you bring protection

Me whipping out 60 lbs of platemail: sure did babe

#these knights aren’t fighting #they’re fuckin

vile4lesbianvampyres

She corrupts me

And I alike a moth to the flame

Disintegrate in her molten wonder

Sharp teeth piercing ivory skin

She can have all of me

almostsweetmuse-deactivated2023

obsessed with this man...

justcatposts

Working from home struggles

(via)

disgruntledturtle

Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat

equalistmako

“Why hello there, little children~. Please follow me to my magical… FITNESS ROOM. NO P A N S I E S ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT’S LEG DAY AND WE’RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D.”

seasonoftowers

Because they’re always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens - aka long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat melts completely and the meat gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.

people-are-garbage

well you did ask

defilerwyrm

Also there’s wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavourful meat.

mrtacomam

you are arguing over the semantics of EATING CHILDREN

kariachi

Well yeah, you gotta get this shit right or it’s a waste of 40-80 lbs of meat.

pulltheotheroneithasbellson

plus if you feed them a high fat, low nutrition diet, they’re easier to subdue and less likely to run away, which would be a concern for an elderly crone.