Which 40K Faction's Technology Is Just Boiling Water?
As we all know, all methods of power generation are just boiling water. Don't argue with me on this, everyone knows it. Will we finally be free from the tyranny of water in grim dark future of the 41st millennium? Probably not. But which faction is doing the most badly? LET'S FIND OUT!
N/A: Thorsty: The Tyranids are an exception to the whole premise of this dumb list because they don't generate power. All of their technology is organic and produces energy through its metabolism, the same as me and possibly you. However, having a metabolism does mean you need to consume a lot of water, so be like the tyranids and stay hydrated by stripping a planet of all biomass.
Free from the tyranny of water: Necrons generate energy by shoving tiny fractions of the space gods into big energy collection things, but as far as I can tell those are just direct energy conductors and as such completely bypasses the boiling water stage. Necrons get their own tier because they are spooky scary skeleton mans who no longer have any physical need for water and probably don't even remember it.
Powered by ghosts and/or screaming: I do not understand how Eldar technology works, and I suspect neither do they. From what I understand, there's something called an infinity circuit which is where all the souls of the dead Eldar live, which provides psychic power that animates their constructs made of wraithbone and then my eyes go crossed. The Dark Eldar can do similar things but they don't use soul magic, and seem to power their entire society on scream power like Monsters, Inc. I don't understand it, so it goes here.
Solarpunk utopia: The Tau have big solarpunk vibes. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if most of their power needs were met by wind turbines, hydroelectric power or photovoltaic solar power, all of which generate electricity without needing to boil the water. That said, they probably need some kind of fusion power in space, and advanced solar power does fall back on big turbines, so there's probably some water being boiled that they don't talk about.
A moderate amount of water: The Leagues of Votann probably use highly advanced and efficient fusion power, but all that just means that they have the most advanced and efficient way of boiling water. They might be advanced enough to use matter-antimatter reactions or zero-point energy, but they wouldn't be space dwarves without the urge to use the antimatter reactor to power a big steam turbine.
So much water: All technology in the Imperium of Man is powered by boiling water. All of their technology is broken down and nobody understands how it works, and all the IT in the galaxy is run by a cult of cyber-monks who live in a planet-sized factory with a big dragon at the center that they probably use to boil a fuckton of water to turn the massive gears they have in the backgrounds of their character art. A thousand psykers are shoveled into the Emperor's fancy golden toilet each day and use their mind powers to boil water for him. I'm throwing Chaos in here too because most of their technology is the same as the Imperium, but with more space daemons. Genestealers are also here because they're just stealing the Imperium's catalytic converters.
ALL DA WOTA!: The orks boil more water than every other faction in the imperium combined. Ork technology goes through steampunk and out the other side, ending up in like, steam-progressive-folk-nu-metal. Orks know that boiling water means more power, but they don't understand how it makes power, so they just have big vats of boiling water that somehow power everything, no turbines involved. It also doubles as a municipal swimming pool.
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