Brain Empty: only food

Icythot on Thursday• 24

[cherryhatter-deactivated2015072]

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

[visibun]

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[yms1]

do u ever miss your own energy. like damn what happened to me

[dalekofchaos]

[sozvezdiyay]

Obsessed with the idea of Shane randomly encountering Bad Bunny at a bar just like he encountered Rose. (Because he has the BEST luck.)

But he doesn't know who Bad Bunny is, and Bad Bunny doesn't know who Shane is... So they're both just making small talk with this hot guy they met at the bar while they wait for their drinks. They're enjoying talking to someone who doesn't know their celebrity status. And Shane is getting a little flustered despite being married, because damn if this guy isn't his type, and Bad Bunny is lowkey flirting with him.

And then Ilya shows up and has a heart attack. Alternating between fanboying over Bad Bunny and wanting to fight him. Just standing there frozen with this bonkers expression on his face.

And Shane is completely oblivious. "Hey, you're back! I ordered you a beer. Oh, and this is Benito. Benito, this is my husband Ilya........... Baby, are you okay? Why do you look like that?"

[agent-odessa-over]

Shane wakes up restlessly horny in the middle of the night, the kind where his body is just thrumming, and no amount of breath work or meditation will take the edge off. He's hard and squirmy, and unfortunately just needs to be dicked down really good. He glances over at Ilya, who is dead to the world snoring in a puddle of drool on his pillow.

"Hey Ilya, you awake?"

Ilya snuffles loudly, then blows a tiny little bubble of spit on his next exhale.

Shane rolls over to slide against Ilya and licks into the juncture of his neck and collarbone. Ilya mumbles, "G'way Anya."

Shane sighs. This is going to require some subterfuge. He hesitates, then sharply flicks Ilyas bare shoulder hard, diving back under the covers as Ilya stirs.

Ilya startles awake, "Hmph? Shane?"

Shane feigns a yawn and stretches his body lazily. "Whats up, baby? Can't sleep?" he whispers sweetly, curling back into Ilya's side and running his fingertips over his sternum.

"Something bit me. A mosquito, maybe."

"Oh no. Lemme kiss it better," Shane drawls and begins mouthing on Ilya's bare shoulder. He silently pats himself on the back; this is all very convincing, he thinks.

Ilya cracks one suspicious eye open. "Mm hmm and how do you know where it bit me exactly?"

Shane blinks.

"You are seriously so horny you woke me up for sex at.." Ilya checks his phone on the nightstand "..4am?"

Shane stretches again. "I dunno what youre talking about."

"You are about to put a hole in my hip bone."

"Its a reflex."

"You licked me."

"You asshole, I knew you were awake!" Shane smacks Ilya's belly. "Fuck off, I don't even want it anymore."

Ilya shrugs.  "Okay then, if you are sure," and rolls over, pulling the covers up to his chin.

Shane whines. "Okay okay okay, can you please just fuck me?"

Ilya, still turned away, smiles to himself but sighs dramatically. "Okay, Hollander, if you insist. But no foreplay or cuddling after." (This is, in fact, absolute bullshit and they both know it)

Shane slides on top of Ilya to straddle his hips. "Wow, I'm such a lucky girl," he says, no bite to it.

Ilya, eyes half lidded but bright with love and lust, murmers, "The luckiest."

[gloww0rms]

this randomly blew up on twitter so i figured i’d post it here bc lord knows everyone on this app is neurodivergent

[ddeck]

id be unstoppable if it wasn't for the evil brain disorder

[hollanov-archives]

Fic idea in which Hayden uploads a video titled "For the people who still believe either of them would throw a game for the other" and it's a video of Shane and Ilya arguing if Ilya let Shane win at some board or card game. At one point.throws Shane divorce papers at Ilya, yelling he would rather die alone than get an easy win from Ilya. Ilya rips the papers apart while yelling at Shane that he would rather take a blade to the throat than letting Shane win any kind of game. At some point both try to get other people to confirm or deny if Ilya threw the game. They're yelling the whole time.

After an enormous amount of concern from the viewers, Hayden post a Pic of hollanov while they're making out, quite aggressively, the caption reading "no worries, while the heat of the rivalry may have faded from the ice, it continues om in their private lives. And while it may seems pretty intense, they're both pretty happy, as seen above".

Half of the viewers have a moment of "Oh fuck. It was fucking foreplay for them and they did it right in front of our eyes. For years."

[themenacewhowrites]

This one Montreal player holding Shane’s arm and looking at Scott like, “What did you even say to him to get him like this? I didn’t know he even had a button for this, but you sure mashed it. Jeez. Thanks. Now I have to go readjust my whole outlook on life, because of you. Because I really needed more work on my plate. And now my captain is homicidal. I hope you’re proud of yourself.”

[graft8ddreamer]

I would love to see Jamie Tartt and Ilya Rozanov interact. They'd either hate each other or be best friends and terrorise the world together

[graft8ddreamer]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[graft8ddreamer]

It's backkkkkkkkkkk

[graft8ddreamer]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[duck-duck-me]

It’s rookie season, Ilya and Shane are both on the ice, when fight breaks out between two veteran players. The picture of them holding each other back (while Ilya watches in excitement and Shane in horror) as somebody loses a tooth goes viral overnight.

From then they always pair off during fights, and years later they are getting ridiculous with it.

First goalie fight in 20 years is overshadowed by them dramatically skating into each other like damsels in a romance novel. JJ draws blood and all anybody cares about is Hollander and Rosanov having the world’s most intense rock paper scissors game of all time in the background.

Nothing else changes…. Except maybe fans are starting to think they might be friends. And maybe people are starting to understand why Rosanov can’t leave Hollander’s side when he gets knocked out cold by Marleu. Because that’s his man, in more ways than one.

[bo0zey]

 i tried to be funny and it backfired miserably

[bo0zey]

it’s 2014 it’s time we moved on as a nation and stop reblogging this

[bo0zey]

every person who reblogs this in 2015 is gonna get their ass kicked by yours truly

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[stealingpotatoes]

In the au where Vader and padmé are super divorced who do they talk to about it if anyone? Also where do their friends stand on this?

the only person she really talks to about it is obi-wan, who is of course the opposite of team 'hes evil rn but theres still good in him' and not receptive at all

(commission info // tip jar!)

[gifs-of-puppets]

Happy Star Wars Day! May The Fourth Be With You!

[tesb]

The Force will be with you, always. HAPPY STAR WARS DAY!