Shane wakes up restlessly horny in the middle of the night, the kind where his body is just thrumming, and no amount of breath work or meditation will take the edge off. He's hard and squirmy, and unfortunately just needs to be dicked down really good. He glances over at Ilya, who is dead to the world snoring in a puddle of drool on his pillow.
Ilya snuffles loudly, then blows a tiny little bubble of spit on his next exhale.
Shane rolls over to slide against Ilya and licks into the juncture of his neck and collarbone. Ilya mumbles, "G'way Anya."
Shane sighs. This is going to require some subterfuge. He hesitates, then sharply flicks Ilyas bare shoulder hard, diving back under the covers as Ilya stirs.
Ilya startles awake, "Hmph? Shane?"
Shane feigns a yawn and stretches his body lazily. "Whats up, baby? Can't sleep?" he whispers sweetly, curling back into Ilya's side and running his fingertips over his sternum.
"Something bit me. A mosquito, maybe."
"Oh no. Lemme kiss it better," Shane drawls and begins mouthing on Ilya's bare shoulder. He silently pats himself on the back; this is all very convincing, he thinks.
Ilya cracks one suspicious eye open. "Mm hmm and how do you know where it bit me exactly?"
"You are seriously so horny you woke me up for sex at.." Ilya checks his phone on the nightstand "..4am?"
Shane stretches again. "I dunno what youre talking about."
"You are about to put a hole in my hip bone."
"You asshole, I knew you were awake!" Shane smacks Ilya's belly. "Fuck off, I don't even want it anymore."
Ilya shrugs. "Okay then, if you are sure," and rolls over, pulling the covers up to his chin.
Shane whines. "Okay okay okay, can you please just fuck me?"
Ilya, still turned away, smiles to himself but sighs dramatically. "Okay, Hollander, if you insist. But no foreplay or cuddling after." (This is, in fact, absolute bullshit and they both know it)
Shane slides on top of Ilya to straddle his hips. "Wow, I'm such a lucky girl," he says, no bite to it.
Ilya, eyes half lidded but bright with love and lust, murmers, "The luckiest."