Margaret / Maggie @grandmamargaret - Tumblr Blog

kh-1987-deactivated20210410

Do not stay in a retail store or restaurant past closing time. I mean unless you’re just finishing up paying and it’s like 5 mins after. It’s rude. I know the people who work there say, “oh no it’s ok”. They’re lying. It’s not ok they just have to say that.

hotboyproblems

i want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant

has-claws

Deodorant is nasty. What do y'all think people smelled like up until 70 years ago??

darkmagepoppers

Bad.

crocophile-deactivated20190326

edgar allen poe’s famous short story, ‘bird tells me to fuck off in my own home’

mapachezurdo

slagnarok

He literally whipped his dick out and busted a nut I’m done.

futuresideboobs

BUST A NUT

2-shane-s

Date someone who will date you

methfall

Need me a freak like that

normalwizard

bears have absolutely no right to be as cute as they are. i want to hug them and pet them. big fluffy dogs, supersized

normalwizard

this thing is one of the most dangerous predators in north america, is bulletproof, and could kill me in milliseconds without breaking a sweat and just. look at his big ole paws and his big ole nose. his wittle ears. i wuv him

normalwizard

human brain: bear will kill you

monkey brain: hehe fluffie

thechekhov

I’m pretty sure that it’s the human brain that’s programmed to take anything remotely familiarly-shaped and ask “friend???” so in this case

superior monkey brain: bear will kill you

human brain: but maybe also is soft???

shenanigans-of-a-young-person

*makes a phone call*

*walks around in circles*

emeline-savage

Fun fact: your brain is trying to find the person you’re talking to because it hears them but can’t see them.

smushiguro

Fucking stupid ass brain

tami-taylors-hair

dadhopper-deactivated20171203

She’s procrastinating

elevenspower

who

dadhopper-deactivated20171203

the girl reading this

purpleprosegang-deactivated2022

dog: BARK

me (with the same tone and volume): WHAT

greatestbastard

holdthepossum

[discovered]

[immediately mocked by scientists]

frostyknickers

me as a discovery

slavetomyheadcanon

How can you not include the video?

@lordcephalopod

spam-bot

THEY’RE ROASTING HIM

Struggling so hard to find jewelry for my nipple piercings since I had to get them pierced with a 16G instead of a 14

#it's impossible #nipple piercings #nipple piercing

Schrödinger’s boys

FUCK

What about cracking open a cold milkshake

crystalsoulslayer

As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

6qubed

mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town

notchicken

I hate the internet. I hate how this poem doesn’t need to be finished but it has 13.9k retweets and 21.1k likes. Everyone knows how this poem ends and I hate it