Image credit: The Girl GodÂ
10 Simple Words Every Girl Should Learn
These behaviors, the interrupting and the over-talking, also happen as the result of difference in status, but gender rules.
Itâs not hard to fathom why so many men tend to assume they are great and that what they have to say is more legitimate. It starts in childhood and never ends. Parents interrupt girls twice as often and hold them to stricter politeness norms. Teachers engage boys, who correctly see disruptive speech as a marker of dominant masculinity, more often and more dynamically than girls.
For example, male doctors invariably interrupt patients when they speak, especially female patients but patients rarely interrupt doctors in return. Unless the doctor is a woman. When that is the case, she interrupts far less and is herself interrupted more.
This is also true of senior managers in the workplace. Male bosses are not frequently talked over or stopped by those working for them, especially if they are women; however, female bosses are routinely interrupted by their male subordinates.
As adults, womenâs speech is granted less authority. We arenât thought of as able critics or as funny.
Men speak more, more often, and longer than women in mixed groups (classrooms, boardrooms, legislative bodies, expert media commentary and, for obvious reasons religious institutions.)
Indeed, in male-dominated problem solving groups including boards, committees, and legislatures, men speak 75% more than women, with negative effects on decisions reached. Thatâs why, as researchers summed up, âHaving a seat at the table is not the same as having a voice.â
Even in movies and television, male actors engage in more disruptive speech and garner twice as much speaking and screen time as their female peers.
Listserve topics introduced by men have a much higher rate of response.
On Twitter, people retweet men two times as often as women.
The best part though is that we are socialized to think women talk more. Listener bias results in most people thinking that women are hogging the floor when men are actually dominating. Linguists have concluded that much of what is popularly understood about women and men being from different planets, verbally, confuses âwomenâs languageâ with âpowerless language.â
This preference for what men have to say, supported by men and women both, is a variant on âmansplaining.â The word came out of an article by writer Rebecca Solnit, who explained that the tendency some men have to grant their own speech greater import than a perfectly competent womanâs is not a universal male trait, but the âintersection between overconfidence and cluelessness where some portion of that gender gets stuck.â Solnitâs tipping point experience really did take the cake. She was talking to a man at a cocktail party when he asked her what she did. She replied that she wrote books, and she described her most recent one, River of Shadows: Eadweard Muybridge and the Technological Wild West.The man interrupted her soon after she said the word Muybridge and asked, âAnd have you heard about the very important Muybridge book that came out this year?â He then waxed on, based on his reading of a review of the book, not even the book itself, until finally a friend said, âThatâs her book.â He ignored that friend (also a woman) and she had to say it more than three times before âhe went ashenâ and walked away. If you are not a woman, ask any woman you know what this is like, because it is not fun and happens to all of us.
Last week as I sat in a cafe, a man in his 60âČs stopped to ask me what I was writing. I told him, a book about gender and media and he said, âI went to a conference where someone talked about that a few years ago. I read a paper about it a few years ago. Did you know that car manufacturers use slightly denigrating images of women to sell cars? Iâd be happy to help you.â After I suggested, smiling cheerily, that the images were beyond denigrating and definitively injurious to womenâs dignity, free speech, and parity in culture he drifted off
In the wake of Larry Summersâ âwomen canât do mathâ controversy several years ago, scientist Ben Barres wrote publicly about his experiences, first as a woman and later in life, as a male. As a female student at MIT, Barbara Barres was told by a professor after solving a particularly difficult math problem, âYour boyfriend must have solved it for you.â When several years after, as Ben Barres, he gave a well-received scientific speech, he overhead a member of the audience say, âHis work is much better than his sisterâs.â  Most notably, he concluded that one of the major benefits of being male was that he could now âeven complete a whole sentence without being interrupted by a man.â
 Really, practice those ten words.Â
âStop interrupting me.âÂ
âNo explanation needed.â
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