Bhoot in the bungalow

She/her. 20s.

[howelljenkins]

having to come to terms with the fact that love is not an everlasting performance in which you attempt to retain the attention of your significant other but rather a release of control and putting faith into them and trusting them to choose to stay with you no matter what you have to offer

[howelljenkins]

to love and be loved is to rest

[eddiediaaz]

BBC MERLIN

4.12 ✽ The Sword in the Stone, Part 1

[joeyridersvoid]

Thinking about when I worked at a shitty restaurant + one night it was just me + 3 other women on closing shift, so some guy came in the back and waved a knife around, presumably for money but I’m not actually certain, bc he was met with the bartender holding a much bigger knife, a tiny teenager wielding a cast iron pan, an elderly woman holding up a crockpot of clearly boiling water, and me, turning on the meat slicer with eye contact for maximum effect. He left, but the moral of the story is not girl power or whatever, it’s just. Why the fuck would you threaten a room full of underpaid and sleep-deprived blue-collar workers surrounded by lethal weapons.

[flipocrite]

Even ignoring the quantity of workers or weaponry, I think there’s something special about specifically

using a knife

to threaten a cook

in a kitchen

[earhartsease]

not the

not the shar

not the sharpest kn

[mortimermcmirestinks]

*nods wisely* not the sharpest knool in the shed

[tragicburnout]

so full of love and rage, very yin & yang of me

[depsidase]

[malkiewicz]

Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

[istudypirates]

My favourite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call

[antiuwuaction-deactivated201804]

It’s called connotations.

[leggyboyjohnson]

Try this one on for size:

“Forgive me, Father, I have sinned”

“Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty”

[please-be-nice-im-sensitivee]

I, for one, like Roman numerals.

[clingyduoapologist]

The thing about bugs bunny is that he lives and dies by his bits. He’s fully capable of killing you if he wanted, but the thing is, not only is he a nice guy, he’s a funny guy. To beat bugs bunny, many people assume that you just have to not fall for the jokes. If he hits you with a pie, you don’t flinch, and eventually you’ll ware him down. The issue is, misery will only last you so long. There’s only so much bits to endure before it becomes funny. And whoever is getting laughed at is losing. Instead, to kill bugs bunny, you have to beat him at his own game. When he throws a pie, don’t try to sidestep or be a sourpuss, that’s playing into his hands. Instead, you comically open your mouth and swallow it whole. This is how you kill a god.

[clingyduoapologist]

Not in the fucking slightest ^_^

[lvmimis]

sometimes when you like a fictional character too much and they feel too targeted it’s actually irritating bc why was the creator in my business like that

[hellsbellsandthecoldones]

Bella (human, sleeps, has read Jessica’s self insert fanfiction about “Jennifer Stanford” and “Edwin Coldham”): …..there’s only one bed….

Edward (vampire, doesn’t sleep, has read Jessica’s mind and therefore has the entire story memorized): we could..::….. share it

[fucxingcuties]

[a-book-of-creatures]

The tortoise and the hare have worked out their differences and are now sharing an apartment

[bitterfrosts]

Rivals to lovers combination slowburn/speedrun

[jessmalia]

FRIENDS (1x01) // THE BIG BANG THEORY (7x09)

[transmechanicus]

All ailments should be as easily solvable as scurvy, “oh fuck i feel like shit, lemme suck a lemon for a bit” and boom all better, which fruit cures the gnawing exhaustion that weighs heavy upon my bones since childhood?

[theoceanbre-eze]

[what-even-is-thiss]

“Where do you see yourself in five years” is kind of an odd question for a job interview now that I think about it. Like idk. Having a job? You could give one to me right now.

[kyotoprotocols]

[mcsnuggie-deactivated20131031]

true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn

[leftforbed]

why would the movie eat my popcorn

[leftforbed]

nevermind i get it