Real Talk

Follow me as I deal with loving a convicted felon and grief over lost family. Mental Health issues are real!

[greatwitchpainter]

I've give up. He doesn't love me. He never will. No matter what I do, it'll never work.

[greatwitchpainter]

Well Holy fuck monkey. I'm so ashamed. Idk what to do.

[greatwitchpainter]

Well, went to see him last night. He went looking for me again. He asked where I parked cause he didn't see my car at work. Out of context that sounds creepy but for him, it shows He cares on a level. More to come later.

[greatwitchpainter]

Well same shit different day. Currently working the night way. Off in like an hour but I'm dreading it. Apparently it snowed. My shoes are not snow shoes. My toes are gonna freeze.

Saw him yesterday. He dropped me off at work and picked me up... late but still ...I tried to not go see him Saturday night. That made him drive by my house. I was surprised. I wasn't sure he'd care. Gonna see if he wants to chill later when I'm off...if the snow isn't too bad and I can get to him. Laters!

[greatwitchpainter]

So, I've been fwb with a friend. Shit happens and I caught feelings. I really make effort to show him I love him but I don't know if I'm doing it right. It's made more difficult by the fact that he is a convicted felon and on strict parole.

I told him I'd be ok as long as he was happy and he looked at me and said "you better". I asked him once if he'd move in with me and get a dog. He said only if he gets to pick it out and name it. 😅 We've even talked about kids down the road.

I've tried to "move on" but it doesn't help. Or even matter. No one else is him. I've been trying to get him to tell me what he wants but it's like pulling teeth.

Him - are you gonna stay?

Me - do you want me too?

Him - do YOU want too?

It goes on like that until one of us caves. It's usually me. How do I do this? I lost my sister who was my best friend 86 days ago. I can't lose him.

Other stuff makes me doubt him. Plus my anxiety and past trauma doesn't help.

[greatwitchpainter]

I want to start by saying I know this isn't going to be easy but being in love with a convicted felon was the last thing on my list of things to do so shove your opinions up your ass. Otherwise, enjoy.