I think some of the loneliness of autism is that you feel like you hurt people just by Interacting Wrong, but you don’t know how to Interact Right, and the more effort you put into it, the more exhausted you are and the more artificial it comes across (with the end result of people still being upset with you). and it’s not anyone’s fault for not liking Being Interacted With Wrong, and it’s not your fault for doing it so wrong, but it is very, very lonely.
anyway, every single book I write ever is going to secretly be about autism
in case this was too negative, I CAN sniff out other autistic people like an ant scenting pheromones, and I DO automatically love them right from the outset. honestly, there are some people whose autism doesn’t mesh well with mine, but the base love is still there because I know we’re alike, and I know that have shared painful experiences. so it’s not all hopeless! you just need to find other ants 🐜
